Cool Thoughts 2

Painfully aware?

2011-12-18T12:46:00.002-05:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I was sitting outside some days ago reading as I usually do and I felt something on my leg. I moved my hand down to figure out what it was and it felt like a bunch of shrubs or moss. Then I noticed a big yellowjacket wasp on the floor missing a wing.

It could still crawl and was proudly moving away from me with all it's legs intact but missing the one thing that could take it back to its nest. It was sad to watch but I was oddly satisfied that I got out of messing with it and not getting stung. I have been stung before and this wasp was the size of a cockroach. It was big.

It crawled for a while and I wondered if there was any insect alive that would face up to it even in this broken form. It looked like a snowflake in some ways but it was deifinitely missing a wing.

Suddenly it stopped on the rubber rail that is supposed to seal the garage. I wondered what happened to it since i didn't see no insect or creature near it. Then it seemed to convulse and it flipped down two lengths to the area THAT side of the garage.

Nevertheless, it continued to crawl down the edge of the rubber thing and after a while I stopped paying it attention. I was so afraid of it before and now this was like the second time in my life that I felt remorse for something I had done. I didn't mean to take it's wing but it happened.

The first time was when I tried to take an ant off of a bird's leg and accidentally broke it's neck. It just chirped and chirped and it felt like I was the one dying but I wasn't.

Spock is wrong

2011-10-11T09:37:00.001-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I submit to you that peace is illogical. Watchng Star Trek and seeing Spock antsy about in Kirk's shadow shows me that for all his recriminations of the human race about not being able to suppress their emotions, that control is illogical.
Without emotions we would have no direction, no purpose, no yearning for progress. It even feels good to say we are Floridians or Americans or even westerners perhaps when we visit other lands. This sense of pride is so "human" as to be an emotion founded in the invisible hand theory of John Smith. But is not bottomless in its perceived benignness. To have a direction we must pass others.
I once put it to my fellow ARC group members that if on a one-lane road two people approach each other one running and the other walking, which should get out of the way? Some said that the walker should move because the other person has a greater purpose, some said the runner, having all that energy would find it easier to run around. The answer? Well that depends on you.
People with little purpose, let's call them happily married cuz those people are likeable, are doing their daily chores of giving back to society in the form of taxes and children and good feelings. People with a lot of purpose are also providing new choices and directions but are perhaps saving more of their money and not having children and they aren't the happiest people in the world when it comes to karma. These people are the drivers of the race. Which are you?
Anyways logic dictates that happiness is to be suppressed, that extermination of enemies is essential to the subsistence of oneself, that to laze about in the relevant squalor of children and welfare checks and drugs like alcohol is irresponsible and must be lessened, but should it? I recently saw a video of the Koreans becoming more and more addicted to video games and they mentioned how it was becoming a problem but is it? Their children we visiting coffee shops per se and spending all of their time there. How is that an improvement to what they do here? Do children here go to the nearest McDonald's and hang out there doing god knows what with no money? Yes. Would spending like 10.00 a month to sit in a chair and surf the web and text each other, would that be an improvement? What if everyone learned how to write basic code and computer programming? But as our instruments become more sophisticated so too become the controls that control us.
Drinking was something difficult to put a finger on. Was it the mark of a declining economy? A lot of people blame vodka as the vehicle for Russia's demise. Maybe it's time to find out what really happened over there? You aren't gonna tell me a 100 million people all drank too much and the economy went south cuz all the people lost their love for money.
It has often been said and I quote William Wallace heh, (if you think Im a lousy writer then it's time to tune in to Sarah Silverman for a while and then come back to this so you'll appreciate insight) you think your position gives you the right to limit other's freedom but I think that your position requires that you provide others with freedom. And I go to see that they have it.
Yeah freedom is what it's all about boys and girls and without it people just start fighting.
But what do we do about the invisible hand? Well? Is it right to have a system where the rich get richer? When they teach you what good business is all about in Business School the main thing that I pulled out of being a good financial analyst was that increasing shareholder value was of paramount importance to a company.
But how far can that go? What happens when the law of diminishing returns tells you that all things end? Is this law more relevant than the invisible hand? You bet it is.
Control is evil or let's just call it illogical. There can be no happiness to someone completely under control. Our stock market is the first step to the end of the constitution. Why? Well because you can never outdo the rich people once they are rich. An army, like money, is an entity all its own and grows like the invisible hand of the devil telling you to cheat on your wife. You already have happiness or boredom maybe but risking it is what will bring you more happiness. So having an army that doesn't do nothing is like being married too long. Without something to do, it withers. That is why Hugo Chaves went from good guy to dictator. Indeed I would say most people in charge find this the ultimate test of leadership as to how to keep all that money.
It is much like cheating old age. It gets more and more expensive but you know it can't last. And it feels good.
You know it does. People with nothing want a voice and land, people with money want people to like them, people with everything want to learn nothing. Rock Paper Scissors.
So I submit to you that Spock and Vulcans are wrong. To pursue logic as a religion is to seek the circle of life. To do the right thing you need many wives, many leaders, many jobs, many orgasms. How can you choose a leader without the use of emotion? I don't wanna say that being with many people and treating so many others like trash is a good thing. It reminds me of sluts who have been with many men. But a lot of men haven't been with anyone. A lot of men need to have all that and a pair of stockings once or twice in their life. A lot of men need to have been with one Angelina in their life and I don't think that's too much to ask. So bring me the sluts and hold the marriage and equality for just a minute because what needs to happen, especially to young people is that they need to be free to choose, free of violence and free of logic.
Still, after you have porked your third fat lady or licked something really nasty from a genital area you may find yourself ready to have just one source of stimulation. Likewise, maybe 2 million is enough money lost to whimsical desires, maybe it's time to get the bank account I always wanted, the right one.
You know it's funny because in the game I used to have 2 million gil and i used it all up to buy a Blue Cotehardie +1 which I thought was the cornerstone of thiefdom and then the value went down and I haven't had more that 1 million gil since then, but I still have my Blue. I wonder if that's loyalty or stupidity?

talkin bout POP music

2011-10-10T17:41:00.003-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I found out that I didn't have to go out and get a DRK testimony to do the level break at 90. I got all geared up with my THF and got ready to use some Treasure Hunter to get the DRK testimony to drop but it took a long while. I was dismayed to find out that there was only one DRK mob in the area and after much ado and even taking on the Notorious Monster nearby I decided that since a WAR testimony had dropped that I would kill maat with my WAR. And then i do the dialogue and poof I get the Obtained message. Ah well, guess it's time to hit up some worms for the level 95.

I saw the Cinderella Suite on a side show for Disney today and I started to yearn for money again. Yah, I have had my expensive car, expensive apartment, even expensive hotel suite and I guess you could say that nothing amazes me all that much anymore. I realize thare are some really great things out there but my Audi sounded like a Ferrari once, my apt had a roman tub that I used to no end not only to watch TV and play Soulcalibur for hours while in the tub but to completely cure me on any zits problem that could possibly remain. I stayed in the Protofino Hotel once in Disney and it was great and even stayed in a hotel with a Jacuzzi on my visit to Niagara Falls. But now Im like meh, I would like room service but not really if it's gonna be like stupid. If you get clean sheets and hot water for 60 bucks and some whatever hotel and you go to a super nice hotel and get a nice place all fancy and still basically come away feeling like you got clean sheets and hote water for 600 well then thats not really a value in my book. I used to like that song that says he was all about value because that's what I am like. Of course my idea of value is no date, one night stand and whaddaya know we like each other let's move in. Now that I'm old I guess that's a little unrealistic but it didn't used to be hahahaha.

today I wanna talk about prejudice. Yah there are women out there that are a lot like Sarah Silverman and by that I don't mean pretending to be Jewish. I mean that are all proper about sex and want it when it's right so that she won't feel ashamed about getting naked. That's a lot of expectations though to have for other people. And that's what prejudice is. You expect them to act like you and if they don't well then you talk about em.

Yes talking about people is evil. First you talk about a person let's call him Bill Gates cuz he's likable. Then you say "he did this to Steve Jobs" I hate him. Then people are like making it obvious to him that he KNOWS what he did to Steve Jobs and then you basically just straight out talk about Bill Gates like he isn't worth the seat he's sitting on.

Soon after this you start to wonder about people with little round glasses like Bill Gates likes to wear. Is he Jewish you think cuZ maybe his parents need to get some blame. Does he like using the word Doody? I hate that! Suddenly you are wondering if that white skin color is it British white or is he one of those Spanish white people with red haired parents that have a "mutt" white on their babies so you cant tell if he's a red-head or a brunette. Yes and suddenly it hits you... he's rich! The bastard!

Yeah and how did this all start? We need to put a fix on racism because people like to do like they are treated. If we treat Mexicans like they smell well then they aren't gonna bathe and even the preacher at church is gonna be "well I can tell who the good christians are in the congregation and who has been watching too much Sarah Silverman". Because we like to do what is forbidden. if you treat your girl like she cheated on you, you are gonna find out what prejudice is when she is like, "how you like me now?" Even black people act normal up until you are like looking at them spooky like and then they instantly sense it, much like women smell gear, and then they are like OMG it's Nateesha from Burkina Faso come here girl I knowed it was YOU from the lump in your purse and the funny looking rolled up thingy you stuck in your 'fro. Ha ha cuz you know we all love the pot!

So as you struggle to find what is right and wrong with others, struggle with your own easy predilection for talking about others cuz not only is it an attack that goes unanswered, it's a look into a place you don't wanna go.

Personal profile

2011-10-04T14:54:00.002-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I registered for match.com a while back but I don't feel like paying so I am gonna put the information here.

I am a male btw, gamers, so don't try to pretend you like me and stuff, you fags.

Motto:
We have no fate but what we make and sometimes it's not even worth the effort. I am cynical but well-mannered, except for the car door...

Personal profile:
I am tall and strong but sometimes weak-willed and negative. I have spent a great deal of time dealing with cynicism and basic mistrust. I have an ability of making anyone my friend but then comes the hard part which is having it stay that way. I dress up well but make everything go to hell in a handbasket over the littlest things. If you are a good talker and I don't have to do a whole lot to keep you interested in a subject, then I can do that because I know a lot about everything but am not expert at hardly anything.
Pets:
My dog died last year his name was Happy.

Political views:
Non-conformist

College:
Jacksonville University

For fun:
I like movies, movies, movies, and maybe some nachos to go with another movie. Most of my time at home I spend watching Netflix or playing piano or writing in my blog, oh and games.

Last read:
The Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaverous County. I keep it in the bathroom and its short so its kind of easy to read over and over. My favorite color is yellow but you'll have to figure out why.

Education:
I almost finished my MBA... surprise surprise.

Dr Jones is jonesin'

2011-10-03T07:55:00.003-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

Well the level cap was raised this past month to 95 and I have a new Level break quest to finish if I want to get to 95. Trouble is I don't really want to get to 95.

It's amazing sometimes that I can think of so much to do when I am outside but now that I am here and typing, I can't think of what to write about.

Oh I saw a couple of movies and thought that I would change my Gillian to someone else but nah. I am starting to like Neve Campbell and I even started watching Sarah Silverman for a while but EW! She acts so gross I actually have to catch my breath sometimes. Watching that show is like seeing retards in porn. Your watching it, you don't like it, but you kind of have to see how it ends, plus everyone else thinks its funny so...

The other day I was thinking things are binary and stuff and then it occurred to me that things are actually more stable in 3s or 6s. The most stable structure is and equilateral triangle right? So I believe the next World Trade Center should be a pyramid. The only thing I wonder about thought is whether the bottom should be a square or not. I mean we know that 2 dimensionally the triangle is stronger than a square and that you can't have a structure with only aline but what about the bottom? Should it be like a mall area down there or should we hold to the strongest structure theory? Even so, it's not like we could just forego the concrete and make it out of marble so divining some great stucture is basically just a dream.

I wonder if that's what I have been doing all my life, dreaming. Putting off the really hard fight for when I am good and ready. Am I good and ready now with my too-old lungs and too-old stomach and too-old bank account that has no money? Heh.

I keep saying that I am going to get my Ph'd but I dunno. My eyesight is not what it used to be and I wonder if people are too smart for me now and I wonder if my presence might compete with the younger professors of the school who really believe and know their material and what they are teaching. Still, I have my old professor teaching my favorite subject and even though she gave me a D that I didn't earn, that tells me she liked me!

It's funny how most people react to my presence not with accolades like my brother and sister do but with "here's the scar to let you know I was in your life!" Bam! Do I really earn people's ire so well? People have been scarring up my life pretty badly from my car to my television to my computers. I used to get harassed everywhere from work to the bar to the game and even at the movie theater. I used to wonder if I was so special and had done so much wrong that really I had deserved this ire from the general populace.

But I don't think so now. I realize that people just pick on weaker people and if I am walking around with a big target then people gonna walk by and pluck that everyready battery from my shoulder. Strangely, the philosophy of it is that noone should think they are special which brings me to my reason for writing today.

People should be either for more government (Democrats) or less government(conservatives). This means what exactly? Well it means how hard do you believe you should work. And this is the trick question because you think that it's easy to answer but wait for a moment. Should you cheat? Because you know cheating is work too. People have been cheating me a great deal and I could take this to mean that I should be cheating them back because oh well that's society. But what if cheating is work? What is it's ok to cheat on your wife as long as you do the work that it takes to keep it a secret? So what if you are drinking and driving if you are taking the steps needed to keep it safe? So what if you are committing crimes as long as all of it is under control?

You see that is what I was saying a couple of years ago about legalizing marijuana. You could make it legal but the fun of it will be gone. Sure we could make doctors prescribe it but from what I understand doctors don't really KNOW what marijuana is? That's whats so screwy about the whole profession. I realize that we are paying them beau coup dollars to know what is wrong with us but I wager that they don't KNOW even 50% of what could go wrong with us... never mind putting them in charge of pot or cocaine or whatever.

More disturbing is what becomes of society then? After we legalize the drugs we don't know about and allow prostitution and heroine or whatever, what then?!

There is a battle going on with right and wrong, sounds so much better than good and evil btw, and wrong is usually right. I mean the only real evil is pain and even that is a matter of perspective. I mean how do you put a leash on pain when teens are paying people to pierce them?

For one reason or another the constitution gave us the right to bear arms but why? Well for one thing there used to be a lot of bears out there but mainly the reason for that I think is that we as commoners have the right to overthrow our leaders when they become tyrants, and that becomes impossible if only the leaders have the guns. This is what control is. To control us they must take away our weapons and take away our swords (our mind's blade of righteousness) and then we become the sheep Jesus spoke about.

My professor used to believe and teach that the environmental ethics of the world disallow us to feel good about eating meat. In the trials of the trooghaft, if I remember the title, some people are ok to eat and some are not but people are of slightly different species in the story so its easy to make the distincition but at the same time it justifies racism. It's an amazing story and it ends with the everything tastes better with BBQ sauce mentality. But I argued that how can we exercise such an ethics when all the world does not have that luxury, that luxury of an ethic.

It's by the same token that we cannot give up our right to bear arms and "trust" our government. I am of two minds when it comes to government because I know that it is only finally after the whole world is under ONE government that we can all give up our guns and put our trust in the government. At the same time, it is only with several governments in existence that we can choose the more charming governemnt.

So the world is lost not on right and wrong but in its ability to choose. A friend of mine said that to me once, that I must choose my path, my path to be his friend. I have not regretted that friendship or any of those good times. It was then that I realized he was a very wise man and a good person imo.

So to have an ability to choose we must have 3 sides.

Rock-paper-scissors.

The people that believe the religion, the people that rebel against it, and the people that use it to like food for the spirit.

You must choose, but choose wisely. For even though the cup of Christ brings everlasting life the wrong cup brings eternal death. This is from the third movie from Indiana Jones. Indiana is trying to choose the right cup and picks the cup of the carpenter because Jesus' father was a carpenter, a simple man. A simple life in fact does bring plenty of happiness. But you can choose the rich cup, the cup of kings as the other character put it and you saw what happened to him. But is it so bad? I mean you might not be happy but you're rich! You win! Hahahahaha! Anyways, the point is happiness is different to different people.

There is another option, yes the lesson here is... you could let you father die. Yah... Not fighting is always the third option. It's the page from the bartender's book of axioms, "don't start no trouble there won't be no trouble". But it's not always true is it?

Still paper is one of the choices. Not scissors like many lawyers would think, not rock like many cavemen would think, but paper. Yes paper, like many married-you-wanna? types would think.

Of the titans

2011-08-24T10:19:00.001-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

When I first saw Clash of the Titans I thought it was the neatest movie out. It had a love story and magnificent unreal creatures that came right out of the storybook. Because I saw it at a young age, the images stuck with me.

I remember the day he finds weapons given to him by Zeus, Persius was the boy's name; he finds a helmet, a sword, and a shield.

The helmet has the power to render the user invisible. Our ability to get on in the world is this. To be nobodys to the greater populace and to move without being seen, especially in front of a hanging, was what this relic endowed. It's not so co-incidental that he loses his helmet in the swamp, at the onset of combat because after combat is when you cease to be a nobody.

The sword can cut through everything like hot butter. This is your intellect. YOU must decide what will be your course through life and what is to be deemed righteous. Obviously winning a bride is often deemed righteous by the hero but not by the other main characters as often there are. Your sword draws the line and symbolizes when you will act against what you perceive as evil.

The most important relic is the shield. Zeus speaks through his shield. He says, "guard well this shield for one day it will guard your life". I was confused by this. How could a shield guard his life and when did this happen in the movie? The other two relics, especially for me at 10 or so, were much more magical. The shield could have been made of wood for all I knew and it would still cover you from a blow.

But the shield's true purpose is as a mirror. It is the ultimate weapon. It is in the mirror that Persius can see himself and reflect on his actions. Indeed it is through this "power" that he is able to see the unseeable, to see the Medusa.

People will use fear to try to control you and it is with this shield that you must remember who you are. You are the ruler. You are "of the gods" though you are not immortal. You were meant to fight, and remain.

Even the council of the gods, with their little statues and comments reminds me of what it must be like on Olympus. It's probably a lot like City Hall or the White House or some such.

The best part of the movie was the ending of course and the Pegasus I guess, but the most comforting thing to me is the ending when he finally gets his girl and Zeus forbids anyone to take action against him, because he had struggled so hard that he would now, finally, be allowed to have peace with his wife.

Doing whats best?

2011-08-19T21:09:00.004-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

Maybe you believe that it is your duty to get results when it comes to the enforcement of what is right and wrong. Surely if you raise a fuss loud enough something will happen.
Maybe one day you see a couple fighting and the husband grabs the wife and tells her to shut up, so you call the police and he is arrested. It turns out that they were fighting about the family and bills. Well you really helped that situation right? The husband now has no job the wife is totally miserable with noone to yell at and maybe the children will be raised up proper by foster parents when it comes out that the wife has been using drugs or cheating or whatever. Boy you really helped out by calling for help to save that marriage and the menace they posed to society. The kids will probably be miserable their whole lives and never mind what happens to the cute couple.
Maybe one day you see someone kicking the dog and you call the Humane society to help out the poor dog. Well then you find out the dog bit the smallest child and he has to be put down. Boy you really helped out that dog!
Maybe one day you think Saddam Hussein has got a big mouth and we really ought to go shut it for him. Well you see what happened. People in New York definitely see what happened.
Maybe one day you find out that terrorists have kidnapped a bus load of people and all of us should do whatever it takes to free them. Well that's when Reagan decides it's ok to sell arms to terrorists. Hah. He must have laughed when he thought about the irony of it. Boy we really helped out the country by defending our honor and getting our hostages back. At least noone died.
I'm not going to say that people shouldn't call in the police to get help when they are in danger like from violence or from threat, but if you go to a drive-thru after the bar and end up in jail, you are gonna wonder if perhaps there are some screwed up people out there... doing what's best for society.

Still hot?

2011-07-31T12:50:00.001-04:00

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:76 WAR:81 DRK:90 RNG:90 RDM:44 SAM:44 BRD:41 PLD:40 NIN:45 DNC:10 BST:10 SCH:10

Omg wow. Yep I am still turned on by Gillian Anderson. Her wallpaper is up and she is still O-M-G. I guess there is hope for me yet, heh. I wonder what she would look like from behind though. Would she look like any other girl with her butt facing me? Would I really think to myself "This is the best sex ever!"? Yeah, I know I ask all the hard questions about life.

It makes me wonder if I have wasted my life by being picky. I often wonder also, given that I haven't slept with a girl recently and lost my job, if just any ole sex would do? Would I really work harder and better and be more able to find work even with some scrappy looking whatever that wanted sex all the time?

In the game, I have wondered at Abyssea and whew was I glad that I bought the Visions and not the second installment of the Crystalling Prophecy. I figured it was the same price and that at least with the ACP module that I would get some nice head gear out of it.

Boy was I wrong. Not only is it harder to get people to do forgotten missions which would have been a complete waste of money for me trying to get my missions done, but Visions is a bountiful array of quests and introductions to amazing features that I don't fully understand yet.

What is atma? I still don't know yet. Apparently you get superpowered from it. That's good news cuz when I saw this guy blasting away with Nishnu's Radiance for 4k and all I got with my high powered gear was maybe 1k out of Slug shot, I ws gonna give up Ranger altogether.

Oh and don't get me started on how neat RDM sub is now. I can Convert and Refresh and I even thought that I could cast Enfire to get that extra something out of Flare II, but no it doesn't stack like it does in FFXIII.

The only problem is RDM is at 44. Drat! SAM is also at 44. Double Drat! BRD is at 41, NIN is at 45, MNK is at 45. Why did I level those jobs first I wonder? Now I am so busy leveling WHM BLM WAR DRK RNG SMN to 90, that I walk around with 1 little level short of max on my sub for both my main subs now. >.>

Oh well, I guess its time to do some campaign and throw on that WHM sub ftw.

Playing the game

2011-07-06T15:22:00.003-04:00

BLM:76 WHM:76 SMN:80 THF:75 WAR:78 DRK:75 RNG:75

I have begun playing the game and I also have purchased the Visions of Abyssea add-on to further realize the advantages of leveling there. It is a huge improvement to what it used to be like and I must say that I am enjoying the game again somewhat.

It's funny the GMs say that there are far less RMT than they used to be but at the same time there are a lot of characters that seem to come close to harassing me like the RMT used to. Other clues add to the fact that there probably are a lot of RMT people out there continuing to do the do.

There is nothing useful for SMN by the way and the job is not really suited for healing in Abbysea though it does function as a sort of support character in ways.

Again ? Vanille?

2011-06-20T16:59:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Instead of languishing in the mediocrity of a dismal existence without my little friend, I have decided to start playing online again with my Hohito tarutaru.

I know that my blog has been sorely in need of some pictures since I stopped playing and I was sorely misusing my funds to go out to the bar so now I am going to rethink this and start over again playing and building up my passion for the game again.

I have also found an old Shakespeare compendium and my second level Piano sheet music so perhaps that will add to my learning ability as well.

It's a real shame to have so much stuff printed out for the game and not be able to play it but now I think that it will work out just fine. I am kind of excited to see what changes have come through since I stopped playing last year.

I don't lookk forward to raising my levels but at least there is some outlook in playing the game that there isn't in looking for mrs. right at age 40+.

I also mentioned the RMT to SE and they said that I shouldn't have any more problems with harassment from now on due to their reduced numbers.

Rock Paper Scissors

2011-06-13T17:02:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Philosophically speaking I was smoking again and a large wasp started buzzing around me so I noticed it. Then I noticed a large web and a spider at the center. Then I noticed a nearby lizard. So I thought to myself this is like rock, paper, scissors.
Lizard eats the spider and spider catches the wasp in its web and lizard eats wasp too. But then I thought about it and that didn't work out.
Then I got it... wasp stings lizard.
This reminded me of Obama. Bush eats Clinton. Clinton catches Osama in his web and Osama stings Bush. Yeah I know, nothing to do with Obama but oh well.

Higher ups should get less

2011-06-11T16:35:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

I thought that I wouldn't make it a week with Gillian as wallpaper but boy, wow, I think I could stay married to her for a WHILE, heh heh.
I thunk up something today while smoking and thought why do people higher up get more pay? I mean even in the military, aren't the lowbees the most at risk in war? Shouldn't they get the most pay? If they get promoted they get more power sure but don't higher ups get more "other" considerations true to their status without requiring a high salary?
I think that a peon going off to war should get the highest grade salary while he is at war and the officers should in fact get less. If the peon disobeys or is punished for some reason, then he should be "promoted" to commodore status. This means he or she is in charge of noone and gets less pay. This means people that wanted to get promoted would be doing so not for the money but for the greater good. Sort of like the Art vs. Commercial argument.
People in public office could also get the same treatment. Mayors and Council members would start off at the highest pay but would actually have to maintain a monthly poll of favorable status from their voters. This means that even if they sided with corporations, they would lose pay and get public record polls recorded that made their pay go down. So the good people with the low pay would get re-elected because they maintained a favorable poll whereas people that got kickbacks from corporations and stuff would be able to make money in a way but would have less time in office.
I know it sounds weird but it kinda makes sense.

OMG Gillian

2011-06-08T23:58:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Is there anyone in the world better looking than Gillian Anderson in 1993...

I don't think so.

This has nothing to do with how much she reminds me of this trainer Barbara who worked with me at Citibank about 8 years ago.

Nope nothing,

Meet anyone famous once?

2011-06-06T23:02:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

I was asked once who was the most famous person I ever met. And to be honest I have met some of the most famous people that I am ever going to. I once had a manager girlfriend who's daughters made me believe that I would make a great father. I once had a dancer girlfriend that made me believe that just about anyone could turn out to be an excellent soulmate and companion. I once had close friends that made me believe that noone else in town was worth knowing.

But those girls have now had different fathers.

That girl has had now different boyfriends and companions.

Those friends have made newer more notable friends.

There is no going back to those relationships I suppose but if I was asked once again if I had ever met anyone famous, I would say Hell yeah! All great!

That's why family is so important. They never leave your side, and you never leave theirs. My brother, my sister, my mother and father, these few have shown me more loyalty than I will ever know. And I have known some, albeit not many.

My cigarette

2011-05-28T11:27:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Today I sat outside smoking a cigarette in front of my car and noticed a lizard on the somewhat dilapidated bumper of my car. It came over and suddenly jumped on a bug that was a little larger than its head and tried to eat it but it was too big. I watched for a while and thought it would finish but then it noticed me and jumped back onto the grill of the car. I watched it some more.

Then a small dragonfly came over and looked like it saw the whole thing and I figured it would try to finish off the bug somehow or maybe pick at it. Though the wings were the length of the lizard, its actual body was not that big. After a while it landed on the tire and without warning the lizard was on it and I was barely able to see what was going on but in about 10 seconds the dragonfly was completed eaten up.
Then I noticed the lizard eyeing the bug again. I could barely see its head but it was still eyeing me also. It was probably more hungry now I guess and even though I backed up, it didn't come for the bug. I watched the bug stumble on in an attempt to keep going but I could tell that it was badly bitten. I flicked some ashes towards them as my cigarette grew shorter and shorter. For some reason the bug was able to notice me now and it changed its direction to come towards me. After several paces, it flopped on its back and it looked like it would just spasm out there and die. It seemed to me to be making a statement of indignation as if to say that it was my fault this happened and it seemed like it was throwing a tantrum about it. But it didn't die. After a couple of seconds it just flopped back on its feet and kept stumbling on and about 2 minutes later made it to the garbage can. The lizard disappeared into what the lizard must think is a safe hiding place in the engine of my car.
I started to wonder which of the two would survive the longest, but I was finished with my cigarette.

Hasselhoff SAVE us

2011-05-14T13:27:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Now with Osama dead the time has come to finally get our Democrats to do what we elected them for. What is that? Well we want more social services, more intelligence operations studying the world, more reef animals saved from extinction. We also want more hospitals to deliver babies for free, more college degrees paid for by the government, aka US. We want more police driving around taking care of our right to walk the streets any time we feel like it and at the same time protecting our kids at schools for cheap and coming to stadiums and even airports for police luncheons. Yes, that's right, even though saying the word Democrat sounds like we are giving some people a free ride, it's not so bad an act if it is the RIGHT people.
By the way, isn't that what we just did for 8 years is give away our jobs, our money, our freedom? Personally, I think most of what we gave away was our pride. Somebody call David Hasselhoff, we need our pride back and talking to him is not a bad place to start.

Change of wallpaper

2011-05-02T13:03:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Yay, Bin Laden is dead. I hate to say this but shouldn't he be in Guantanamo? I mean don't you think it would be in our interest to focus their hatred on Cuba? Hah!
I hope this really does lower the price of fuel. I mean, at least it makes us look less impotent. I mean what kind of intelligence misses the fact that a plane could hit our buildings? This sounds weird but maybe we have a better intelligence agency when we have less of a military. Maybe Republicans are good at going to war and Democrats are good at deciding if we ought to. Still, I don't believe either party is going away soon, and having a third party really is like hoping for a fourth party, which would make voting more interesting but also more of a crap shoot. Emphasize crap in that sentence.
My reason for writing is that I am finally sick of seeing Heather Graham on my wallpaper. Heather Graham! I mean how long could I stay married if I am already sick of Heather Graham? I must be nuts!
Next wallpaper: Anne Hathaway

No longer likes cars

2011-04-28T12:34:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

The best part of being a nobody is that you can look at somebodies and imagine how you would have done it different. I have downloaded the miniseries called "The Kennedys" from Zune videos and even though it won't be on DirecTV and I had to pay for it, it was only 1080 pts which comes to about 1080/80= $13.50.
In the movie, he makes a big decision to back a power play to take out Castro from Cuba. There are 25k troops over there and 1.5k troops are supposed to start the uprising of their people. Now even though I may not be too politically attuned to the world of today, it seems to me that if we go into a country that is already ruled by a dictator, that is backed by our #1 enemy, and that is a close neighbor without so much as a fence between us, it seems that they might be able to afford some intel on a major operation.
Oddly, the bay of pigs scenario mirrors a lot of what is happening now with Libya and though I don't believe our generals would ever risk their "jobs" to belittle OUR president, I believe it is in his best interest to get "bobby" in there, or at least someone that will explain things in an easy to understand language that doesn't say "you're engine is clogged has a bunch of gunck in there and best thing to do is to replace or rebuild the engine."
I realize that Harvard is a very hard school and coming from there you probably think you know a lot about the world but let me tell ya... a mechanic can take you to school. I have had two cars of my last two cars have their engines rebuilt. You're probably thinking I'm an idiot for allowing that but do I sound like an idiot? It's funny you think that cuz you can't really hear me now but heh!
Well back to the presidency, the only way to counter a military mind that doesn't want you as president is to change the military to fit your needs. We spend a lot on "defense" right? The DOD, (Department of Defense), is supposed to be the mightiest hand of government in the world, so we should use it as such. Obviously the best thing to justify people paying for our army is to attack us and get our help for free, so instead of having our engines cleaned by every friggin mechanic in the world that thunk this up, maybe we should do more research, throw it up on a blackboard, maybe we should ask for a base there and perhaps some land for testing our bombs. Right?! I mean we don't need our engines cleaned tomorrow and just maybe we didn't even cause the damage that's in there.
My last point is pride. It's nice to have pride. People love that stuff when you are running a business because there is no way someone would mess up a job they are proud of. But I believe that Republicans and the military are capable of just that. It takes a lot of hard work to fool people and it's one thing to be proud of a good job and another to be proud of a con. The military is by and large Republican and it's gonna take a lot of negotiation to get them to play fair with a Democrat as president. But why should they play fair when even Democrats like to putt from the rough so to speak. It's enough to say from a mechanic's point of view, that people with money have that money because they found a better way to outsmart people than they have, and it's probably true. The banks have organized, the medical profession has organized, the baseball players have organized, and even the mechanics have organized, who hasn't organized is the poor people.
But even though it sounds like evil people out there making the devil a nice slide to play on, the truth is people with enough elbow room don't make each other leave. When they become more and more bunched up the ones on this side need to gang up on the ones on that side, the ones that think it's just a temporary situation this pushing that's probably gonna go away. Eventually, what you have is a bunch of gangs some bigger than others and then what you have all the way at the end of this story is a bunch of people, some on this side and some on the other.
Welcome to Global Warming.

Both sides

2011-04-24T13:34:00.001-04:00

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Should money be run by private individuals, unregulated?

Should housing?

Should the internet?

Should electricity?

Should waste management?

Should water?

There are some basic things in life that people would love to control that every single person needs:

Trust, shelter, communication, public access to each other, even where to put our garbage are things all of us need to decide for ourselves. Take that away, and we become slaves to others who will fulfill our needs for an increasingly higher price. Why, because they can-can-can.

There is irony here because one side would say weaker people should pay, but then some would say richer people should pay.

Muhahahahahah! The Devil's Advocate strikes again.

Privatisation is dictators

2011-04-23T06:57:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Duh!

Maybe I should explain that a bit...

Nah.

What love is

2011-04-17T13:47:00.005-04:00

The end of the age of reason comes with one person sitting too close to you. This is why elbow room is so important. If we sit too close together, someone must give up his seat to make the other person more comfortable. Usually the one that is the most "righteous" wins. Hence, the irony of being religious.

I just watched Agora, the movie, and it proved useful to proving that complete idiots usually have the most power. Don't let this happen to you.

If there are too many people in one place they usually or eventually all have to have a common cause and such if what the fate of our country will be if we become as populous as China. The end will come with some question about our lack of shame in not paying our debts or about some betrayal our God and they will ask us what the truth is, and when we can't say what it is, they will brand us "cheaters" and then they will come.

It's important to note that there are two kinds of people, people that let things slide and people that don't. And for all it's pompousness about being a "good" religion, muslimism and christianity and even dog-worship is about as "good" as a one-sided coin.

Don't let people tell you what God is saying. Don't let them tell you you're crazy. And by the way, don't let them ask you if it's OK to kill you. People will agree to many things but that doesn't mean you can't say, "Hey, what's that knife for?"

Vigilance, people, vigilance is the only way to maintain our peace in this country, if we even want that. But as has been the way in history, if a wall goes up, it must come down. So if some people have bunches of money and live in relative freedom, rest assured that some people are looking to take some of that.

I like to think that the whole world can be defined as binary. But that is slightly wrong. The world may be about good and evil, but mostly it's about what YOU believe, that being good, and the many evils of what everyone else does. So it's like ones and zeroes. Everything can be defined by numbers that become more complex as more complications are added that complicate them.

But the world isn't ones and zeroes. The world is ones and twos. We by ourselves think ourselves perfect to be alone, but that is wrong. Love defines whether you are perfect.

For that to happen you need two people. Two people are needed for love.

Think of an ellipse. Happiness is defined by two people sharing a bond. When they make love, they become a perfeect circle. When they stop, all the world is nicer or different to one person than the other. But the couple is relatively happy or "in love".

When they fall farther apart, the ellipse, becomes more large and the whole world will seem much more different to one and not the other. This is called irreconcilable differences.

When they separate, there is only one focus. This is a parabola. It curves inward because it is seeking a focus. A second focus to create love again. That's me. I am seeking a focus.

You can guess what happens when you are NOT seeking love. This is a parabola curved outward, a hyperbola. This is what crazy means. In fact, I believe it's possible to actually convince someone that love is not possible. (edit: actually a hyperbola approaches a righ angle and does not curve outward. Coincidentally though two focuses that hate each other could be useful in the same way that parabolas are useful in that two opposite parabolas that are made to touch could produce anti-matter but I really shouldn't talk about anti-matter because that would be philosophically WAY irresponsible.)

What would be the use of such a person? Ask yourself, why would you hate anyone for any reason and then tell them that? It sounds like a crime of passion right? It wasn't planned but it just happened. Suddenly you think the one you love has made you unable to love but in the legal system it's called temporary insanity, but really, it's just good math, hah!

Still I wonder if I should tell anyone about how to make crazy people because that would be just WAY irresponsible. I mean those poor poor people that don't know what is going on, what will happen to them?

LOTR unplugged

2011-04-11T14:11:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

It's time to write about Lord of the Rings. I know that I really enjoyed the show and am even enjoying the the strategy game more and more as I get better at it.

As I wonder at what a wizard is in real life, a gray wizard is one that is without a cause. A priest that has belief but is unfamiliar with how his power is useful.

A hobbit is little people. Little people have no money. Their advantage is that noone can tell them apart too easy. As numerous as they are short, they tend to not have an education but are as flippant and happy as the day when it comes to their everyday lives.

An elf is somone with money. These people think they will live forever and in many ways are taller than the others and have more skill. They are educated to some degree and are happy people.

A dwarf is like a church member, (edit, lol). They don't have a lot of money but they are stout warriors and tend to dig for treasure. Eventually, they dig too deep I guess, but they are generally happy. They don't trust elves.

The humans are worse because they are selfish. They are easily corrupted and it's because of their inability to be happy that they suffer the most. They want more. More power or more wealth or more of whatever. Yet, these can be both happy or unhappy depending on what they consider is "enough" wealth.

Urukhai are much like elves but they are unhappy. They have money and yet are greedy. They, like the elves, are tall but ugly in that they don't promote good behavior.

Orcs are just like hobbits but they are unhappy. It's funny when you think of a "pig" people because that is exactly what you think of when you think of a greedy person. Cops are often called pigs because they abuse their power I guess. Often though, given the opportunity, I have noticed that everyone, barnone, enjoys being cruel given the opportunity. "These people need to get the first tickets to hell, officer!" These "orcs" tend to have a jewish nature. God wants you to take money from the weak? Sure, ok, whatever. In sum, Jew=good, greedy jew=bad.

A white wizard is a human with a purpose. He is also worshipped like the gray wizard but is powerful because of his intellect and influence. In fact in the movie, right as Gandalf re-appears from his fight with the Balrog, you hear Aragorn tell everyone not to let him speak because he will put a spell on everyone. Yet they let him speak. The truth is, that Saruman deceived everyone all the way to the end, having played both sides the entire time. He is the white wizard Gandalf and you never see them both in the same scene after his fall with the Balrog.

Noone survives a fight with the Balrog.

Sky cities

2011-03-28T10:25:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

I had a thought today that we should start having cities in the sky. Yep, it's official, we need more solar radiation to power our power plants and if we could just bypass the ozone layer somewhat, we would have all the power we needed. One idea could be to use a ship in orbit to "farm" sunlight so to speak. It would lower its drill down and give the city energy on a routine basis. The city itself would be held by balloons which would be inflated with helium or hydrogen. This balloon could "land" on the tallest building in the world and there would be no danger of any accidents occurring because there would be so much money to be made from it.

As a matter of fact I was thinking the other day about the oil spill problem in the Gulf. Kind of a hard situation to get yourself out of I suppose. Lessee we have a hole in the ground and oil is spilling everywhere, what to do?

A hose?

Where to put the oil?

What's Exxon?

I know, I'm asking the "tough" questions now, so let me stop.

I was thinking about cities underwater too because after all, most storms occur close to the surface and the use for a "city" underwater, free from possible nuclear attack, makes it an expensive way to have a risk-free world trade center, albeit perhaps not so fragile as the first, (huh?), and maybe we could do tours and give everyone a "bomb" backpack just so they feel powerful for a while.

It's funny how things are far more stable when under pressure. You could even say the same thing about people in some cases. Still, others believe that more pressure is like adding fixed costs to a supply and demand curve. The break-even point is higher which makes you more money, but the risk of losing money becomes higher too, as the fixed costs get raised too much. So it is with pressure. Some pressure stabilizes your relationship, and too much pressure equals money problems. Hah! I know, to me it's all about sex. I hear that a lot from my younger brother and sister.

Everyone should take economics in high school. It makes life much easier to understand, but only if you relate to it once in a while. It's funny that I am the worst one to take advice but I am good at giving it. Although I can't remember the last time someone actually sat down and listened to me.

This reminds me of that guy on YOUTUBE that gives free piano lessons. He does a really nice job of explaining piano, about as good a job as I would do explaining billiards, but one day he starts to talk about motivation and even though I enjoyed his opinion on the subject, I couldn't help but notice the comments some people left... some of them negative. That's what's wrong when you write music with a message, you start to preach. So when you sing karaoke, it's good to sing what you want if your mood is sad, it's good to sing to a girl maybe, but if you start to preach with your music, you are liable to get into a political discussion with someone, eventually. Think John Lennon, now think about Billy Idol, now think about Billy Idol doing John Lennon and pulling his long hair back. Now someone write a song about it and wait, wait for it... wait, THERE, someone wants to kill me.

Because there can be no love without a little sheep action!

Boy, now I am really gonna be typing for a while. When it comes to the ABCs of me, I would rather understand both sides of an issue. The sheep's side and the side of "those which have no name". This makes me an unbelieveable devil's advocate. Not because I like to be difficult, but because I like to touch all the points of an issue. For example, if we are gonna have sex, I am gonna lick your nipples then caress your neck and the suck your fingers and I am gonna hit that tongue several times even after I go down on you and eventually I am gonna push the button.

So what happens if we don't talk about sex before hand? Well, major mood swing when you suddenly don't want to do anything until I wash out my fingers. Major mood swing when I suddenly feel you are not as turned on about pleasing me as I am you. Major mood swing when the little doctor stops wanting to analyze your major malfunction. Major mood swing (MMS) is like PMS only much worse.

Don't let MMS happen in your relationships!

Okay, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, sky cities. I have this wallpaper of Ellen Page staring at me and even though she is old enough to be sexy, I feel weird looking into her eyes. Yeeesh! Still, in about a week I will be tired of her and get a new wallpaper.

Oh, so if you ever have a discussion about stuff you gotta be the devil so that the other people can "shout at the devil", and then you can both be over it.

What is confused?

2011-03-26T01:28:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Today I was sitting in my driveway at about 1opm and someone from two houses down turned his truck lights on to harass me. He must have been the one that kicked my dog and broke my passenger's side mirror on my other car because I went over there to talk to him and he clearly had some onus to take care of me and not listen to what I had to say. He simply knocked me down. I scraped my hand and my other hand slightly and I could have totally hit him with criminal charges but I just walked back to my house and counted my losses not the least of which was because I had had enough to drink at the bar, which had nothing to do with me being nice,lol.

Still I was surprised at what a small actual guy he was and how lucky he was not have hurt me. I often feel this way, outdone even though I am twice their size and twice their intellect, but still too kind to do enough. Nice huh. Well he's the one with the house and the girlfriend and I am the one that lives with my parents.

I hope he doesn't come over again and outsmart me by pushing my 73 year old dad over and knocking me down in my living room cuz then I would REALLY be confused!

I am going on vacation nevertheless; I dunno, if I start to kick ass I might actually start to like it, then I wouldn't be normal.

A Bad Movie

2011-03-20T12:34:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

The movie I just saw called Hereafter was such trash that I want my money back. It even had Bryce Dallas Howard in it and all I have to say about that is that a $4 picture of her all by itself would have been a better investment... no I don't need it laminated, thanks for asking.

I'm about to see Love and Other Drugs and if it turns out to suck also, I'm just gonna give up movie watching based on good looking girls and I'm gonna stick to sci-fi. Yes I do hope I get to see some boobies in it, and no I don't wanna see the guy's boobies, thanks!

I mean come on, it was rated PG-13, at least I could have got a nice shot of Bryce's booty or something.

On Whiteout I think they did a nice job of setting up the movie with a bountiful "here's why you came" shower scene and after that the movie was still pretty good.

Am I asking for too much?

What does Democrat and Republican mean in English

2011-03-07T16:26:00.006-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

If you are a Democrat, you believe in farming our population. This means our poor people grow more in number and we get more educated people for our dollar. If you are a Republican, you believe in using our poor to fight. This means our population goes down and we use our might to defend ourselves against foreign oppressors. Neither party is a bad choice, but if you have no idea what to vote, you really aren't gonna get it explained any easier than that.

By the way, don't just vote for a pretty face or a strong voice.

So using this system, if you are afraid of global warming you should be a Republican, hahahahahaha, (Stewie's voice: "I'm here all week") So when you wonder why we are at war when we have a Democrat in charge, well, that's cuz people are confused when they are poor and politics isn't the first thing we learn in school. But the poor are what the constitution is all about. "A government for the people". So when we decide what to choose for a leader, "don't think you, think we". If you are an educator, you will want a democrat, if you are in the military, you will want a Republican, if you are a business owner, you want a Republican, if you depend on the entertainment industry, you want to vote democrat. If you work for a credit card, like Citibank or the great "Northern Hemisphere Bank" card, which makes you a banker, then you are generally gonna want to vote Democrat... unless you want the government to stop taxing your company and stop stopping you from merging with insurance companies and stop keeping you from using public officials to make yourself some personal money, THEN, but only if you are extremely rich and don't mind some of those "ant" people dying during the war, then you are a banker and should vote Republican.

Did that sound bias? I thought I was totally impartial in my commentary. Yes, I believe I will leave that in.

On a final note, remember that we all chose. We chose, albeit haphazardly, to go to war in Kuwait, to force the United Nations to turn it's attention to our needs for a change, to not sit blindly while WMDs were sold at will from Russia to the highest bidder as its military fell apart. Vigilance is every bit as important as duty. Even if we can't police the entire world and ask them to please not be idiots, we can at least ask the rich people.

So some people made some money out of it, meh. You might as well hope your wife doesn't cheat on you. Or at least hope she doesn't do it TOO often. And if you are really worried, well, for everything else there is Mastercard.

The more righteous I sound, the more I want to apologize.

Oh on another final note, Democrats tend to also do as they please if they stay in power too long. But, this has nothing to do with giving your wife everything she ever wanted, oh wait, yes it does. Say, suddenly the World Bank came to mind.

What were we thinking?

2011-02-25T13:11:00.003-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

It occurred to me today that we live in a very fragile world. The Jupiter crash of 2009 showed us that asteroids are not as far away as we think. Hypothetically, given that an asteroid impact occurred on Jupiter without anyone detecting it beforehand, is it likely that, from here to there, we would be able to take any action to stop it? I don't think so.

Crap, I just thought of sex again.

On a softer note, my favorite team is expected to be in the playoffs that year.

Hell is a place

2011-01-29T13:50:00.002-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Hell is a place devoid of love.

Tyson is cool

2011-01-10T14:03:00.002-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

I have never said this before but today I felt like Mike Tyson.

He was in an interview giving details of his fight with Holyfield. He was explaining how during his famous fight he was getting head butted and the referee was refusing to acknowledge it. After several times of this happening he lost control and decided to show Holyfield how he could break the rules too.

So most people say they feel like Mike because he is a champion. Today I felt like Mike because he was cheated. And I have said this before, the weaker competitor cheats. Yeah it was the same for me at work too. I so don't wanna talk abouit work but I have to if I am to get over it. I would take phone calls and try to speak to people but people would cause distractions and interrupt me just to show me they didn't like me. This would happen throughout the day, the same people, with me getting no relief except that if I showed them it bothered me, I couldn't tell if it was the right thing or the wrong thing to do. I eventually complained to the managers who referred me to HR who then disciplined me for rude behavior etc and they even suggested I see a psychiatrist.

But the obvious flaw is the referee. If the world is gonna turn a blind eye to wrongdoings and if I start doing those wrongdoings and then people turn on me for doing them, it's time for me to go. How can I compete with the world?

So the interview continues and Mike loses his love of boxing. Small wonder when it's full of fixes and deals and arrangements all made in the background to make winning just a little less fair for the king. And that was me; I was the king of customer service. I had not just a high IQ, but 18 years experience, a private university degree, I could speak and write Spanish and I had the luxury of many friends in the business that spoke highly of working with me. So how do you take a person of this caliber down? Well stick him with a bunch of 1 year olds and put a 5 year old manager on top of him and then see how many "errors" he makes.

I should sue Citibank. It was their manager (aka, referee) that allowed this. After a couple of interviews and subpeonas and a psychological evaluation, I'm sure there would be money there for my suffering and my eventual breakdown but I'm too tired now. I uh, dream of being the old guy and i have the same attitude but I have a fat body now and a jaded or bent deameanor. I'm not a boxer anymore.

At least Mike Tyson got away with a couple of kids out of the deal. I am running out of money now and it boggles my mind how much money I could have had and saved, but now it's over. I gotta find a new gig like Mike but you can't just go back to customer service, cux just like boxing, it's a young man's game. I'm not scared but I just know that I would be looking through jade-colored glasses so to speak. Maybe some people would call them "beer goggles".

I know what you're thinking, hahahah, must be nice to be me. I got it so easy why don't I just buck up and put some feed down. Even recently it was implied to me that I was acting like a baby. A baby! I have beople showing up to harass me online on Shadowrun and on FFXI and even at the bar. I go to theaters and my reputation is such that people even show up there just to mess up my movie watching. That's what happens when you are 40 and famous in Jacksonville. One of these days maybe someone will tell what I'm guilty of, that I got to be so famous.

Friend

2011-01-09T16:44:00.001-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

A true friend is someone who makes your life better.

Realgoshilty

2011-01-03T01:22:00.004-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

Buzzed, honestly I'm not gonna write anymore hardly at all so take these as my last little tidbits for life.

I believe that way back in the age of the dinosaurs we had some few humans left in China. They talked about dragons because they saw one once. How is that possible? Well imagine if it were possible that there were huge beasts that walked about. How would that be possible? Well it would be possible with more heat. With more ambient energy. With more complex organisms. In fact I would rather say that it is possible with more sun. That's right, we know damn well the sun is getting less bright, so how could that cause global warming? Well, I wonder about cancer too cuz how could more food actually kill us? The fact is the sun is running out of energy. Law. So it's a given that we must assume that the earth was hotter once. Law. So it's a given that we know there was less water. Law. I call this the Law of George cuz that's my name. There was once less water. Hence the flood. In China I wonder how can dragons be so well talked about and not really exist? Well they probably did. The last "great" animals must have been so huge and so accustomed to "hotter" climates that they probably lived near volcanoes and judging by the mountainous regions of Tibet, those were probably the last land masses available after the biblical flood. So of course the last dragon/dinosaurs would hve been the ones that could fly. Hence dragons. What is an Ice Age but one that is cold and devoid of life and what if the only land were small and covered in ash. Such is the omen of 2012... if there is some "correction" of the sun as some put it, then there will be another flood. But it's not because it is going to rain over us and crush us and smash us into pasties that go on tits, (heh, I love my pornos hence my imagination), it's because we are going to get turned into shit. That's right the answer was right in front of you the whole time. In the end the water we use is not what we pollute and will one day run out of; it is what is left after all of our deposits are burned away and the superficial junk is removed. Oddly I believe that the entire Earth may have been smaller (ie. further away from the sun and less cold and elevated with less oceans and have less of an atmosphere of ozone H2O2) and full of more complex "clouds" of matter much like Venus that one day decay into less violent forms of matter such as what we have here today. It makes sense right? And water is less violent right? So do we have Mars to look forward too? Maybe. But probably the next form to rule or sort of "screw around" on the planet like us will be insects and then who knows. It's nice for me to know that in a sense we all knew how it would end. Water is the shit! And that's not just my buzz talking.

Or maybe hell is in fire, but if I had to choose, I know enough about desire...

The latest pinup

2010-12-14T14:37:00.003-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

I changed my pinup to Zooey Deschanel last week and this week it's up as Bridget Fonda. I have an old friend that is a close resemblance to her and, like her, is very beautiful. It's sad to think of your friends getting old. I saw a picture of Bridget recently and it's starting to hit me that I don't have that much "good-looking" years left in me perhaps. She still looks great mind you but not as good as she did in Point of No Return. That was a great movie. Well not surprisingly, no new love interests yet so here's hoping for something. This reminds me of one time when I cut out a page out of a magazine and pinned it up in a frame on my cubicle. People would ask who it was and I would say some girl out of a magazine. Eventually I took it down cuz even though it was nice to have a good looking girl's picture on my desk, people around me didn't seem to appreciate it. I wonder if that is what I am doing now with my wallpaper. I wonder if it's weird. But still sometimes I believe there are no good looking girls left in the world, and it's nice to have a daily reminder... that there is.

The reason for a Royal family

2010-11-21T11:14:00.005-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

The real drawback in my life has been perhaps my lack of commitment to getting the one girl that I really want. Unlike most regular guys, I go to bars and hope to talk to someone good looking but it's rarely led me to get their telephone number or to become regular friends. My method of getting a girl is like basically telling all my friends that I like her and wait for her eyes to spark cuz she heard about it and then waiting for the chemistry to build up to where I can tell she will say yes if I ask her out. It takes a lot of patience and faith. Now that I am old however, I have decided to stop doing that. I am going to have a pin-up girl that I post to my wallpaper instead of having a real girl that I am "going after". This way my dream stays a dream and doesn't confuse me by possibly coming true. I have had several girls pinned up over the last couple of months and surprisingly, even a picture gets old.
I started the whole ritual with Beth Orton. I figured if I was gonna be gaga over a female musician she might as well be a professional. But after I started to actually look at the picture too long I decided to try a new one. Next I went to Bryce Dallas Howard. She lasted a long while on my wallpaper. She starred in The Village and inpressed me somewhat. Then I went to Keeley Hawes. She was very beautiful but also very married. Still I am fascinated by British people sometimes. In the back of my mind I know that logically they have to be more sophisticated simply because their government is older so that makes their people more proper I guess. Whenever I see Americans laughing at those fool British people with their royalty and their sirs, I kinda of feel like I'm laughing at rich people, which is backwards. The royal family is all about national pride. If people came over and shot Tom Cruise, we'd be like hahaha we don't like Tom. If they came over and shot Oprah, we'd be like hahaha we don't even like Oprah... at least some people I reckon. But here's where the royal family earns their income, because if you are going to go shooting the royals, you just hurt a symbol of national pride. I know we in America are all like pfft those royals can't hold a candle to Bill Gates or Ted Turner or "The Donald" but if those guys got shot we wouldn't blink an eye. We would be like dang millions of dollars and no security? I wonder at movie stars for that reason. How does a movie star get pulled over for DUI? It's the simplest thing to hire a chauffer or even a kid with a PSP to watch and sit in your car. How do these people not treat every function that they attend like an office meeting? I mean if you are selling being popular and want to stay that way, bring your good attitude and manners with you 24/7. Popular people don't stay that way by falling down in the bathroom, cursing out reporters or by having only one girlfriend that hates them. Mel Gibson this means you. In my mind if I had millions, there is NO WAY I would have a wife or anything, but at this age I almost feel like I have hit menopause.
I would hire an avatar and it would be his job to try to take my millions. He would have to pretend to be a girl or a friend or maybe a mechanic. His only job would be to run around all day and investigate the people I was scheduled to meet and present me with profiles on Oprah for example. Is she likely to fart during the break, is she going to take my hand and pet it onscreen, will she ask some out of the box crack question that makes me feel like Charlton Heston on the Bowling for Columbine show, which was really a horrible abuse of trust to let that guy in your house so he could blind side you, an old man, with criticism.
If you are going to invest in charity, like bunches of money, this money is better spent on prep for your interviews. I kind of like the idea of Samuel L. Jackson, of taking a bunch of money and investing in a personal comany that does his legwork. If I was movie star, I would go right up to UCLA or Stanford and straight up offer 3 younsters with some BFE degree a job to sit on their butts all day and crank out presentations on the various people that I am forced to deal with. Like a gang that gets paid, hah! Your little personal army of Cruise ships. I saw on one interview a guy sprinkle water on Tom Cruise during his interview. What is that? You think maybe someone would have said excuse me for relaying the obvious, bucko, but there is a guy right over there ready to dump a gallon of water on you for not that much money... to me it boggles the mind. But that's society today for you. Some people believe in manners and others are just like " in America we don't have manners". Nothing is more irritating to me onscreen than to see someone important get interrupted. There is no excuse for that. Every question asked should be answered pre-show, every possible sidestep should be anticipated, even the lighting and clothes should fall into place as an effort to make the interview positive and "short" if you will. The people watching should want it to go on even when it's over. There is a reason for our judicial system is so people don't get judged inappropriately, so both sides have access to evidence, so that the real reason for the crime can be brought to light and so people can decide if in light of the motive and other factors we should hold this person innocent of wrongdoing sometimes despite the law. Well an interview is the same thing. You are gonna get judged. If people are going to show up with funny pictures you didn't expect to see of yourself on the beach, or ask about your lovelife despite that having nothing to do with your next movie, or hit up your daughter for videos you didn't know existed, well what do you think? Is that just "good ol American journalism"? Is that "what makes this country great"? Well if so then you better get ready for more because the Colosseum is not some river in Egypt. I saw a recent interview with Harrison Ford and I have to say that was some of the best acting I have ever seen. It was obvious to me what course the comedy had taken but wow was he prepared. If he was actually off his rocker then I'm wrong but I was laughing like crazy at the turn of events during the show. I think I remember Jennifer Anniston doing a similar interview a while back but I forgot it now, but I remember thinking, oh that's right she's an actress, hah!
If I had millions I would have a secretary that basically set up personal dates for me and and would call their reps and just manage my personal life like a business. Still, romance is serious business. Everyone is eager to know what your story is most of the time and as evil as it sounds to me for a girl to want me for my money, the truth is owning a house is not so easy. Paying for a car and insurance is not so easy or cheap. Doing your income tax is not easy. So when a girl expects you to have a job and have a house, even though she is perfectly capable of buying her own, it makes sense for her to add in her mind as value, your ability to pay bills. In fact it makes even more sense if she has children. So even though Mel got ripped off by that million dollar box he used to walk around with, I still believe it's possible to find love if you're rich. Well, never mind I don't think so. There is love that you can't have and you quit, there is love that you get by trying really hard until you hit it... and then quit, and then there is love that you settle for cuz you've quit trying. That's real love. The love that was right there the whole time. The rest is too much or too little.
The real reason I was writing today was about Hillary Clinton. Boy did I get sidetracked. Face the Nation was like 2 hours ago and now I think I forgot the interview. I liked her though. It used to be so wrong to me to allow one family to be in the White House for more than 8 years like the Bushes did, but the way it has turned out seems like it was for the best in this case. I like seeing her do overseas work. I like the fact that it is Obama's people and not the Clinton's people that are running things but more than that I like hearing people hold up the President and be loyal to him. She sounded very well spoken during the interview and even though there was some interruption there (which really if it was some godawful flunky sitting there interupting the Secretary of State I would just flip in my chair), I felt the interview came across well and I felt like I would like to see the show next time as well as hear more from Hillary. Heh, feels kinda disrespectful to call her that but really in today's lmao, the rock, oprah, omg world, it's probably better for her popularity if they use the one word name Hillary to make her seem more in touch with today's younger generation etc. On the other hand I was gettin kinda of tired of calling that guy the Rock. It's funny but even though I don't want her to be President, the fact that her husband was President makes me want to keep them up there somewhere, along with the Bushes. I don't want them in charge... but it makes sense to me to allow them to continue on as consultants in some form or another.
Two hours ago I had something oh yeah, the after talk editorial. After the interview the host gave a little speech about why do the British have royalty? I am going to try to give you good reasons for having royalty.
1 JFK Jr
Yeah it doesnt seem like people out there are willing to kidnap people of national importance but yeah it sure did come out in a recent show about "the Godmother" that she had plans to kidnap the young heir to our presidential throne. Sadly, he is gone but you ARE going to need someone genuine, and not an actor, that feels his life was built for the purpose of keeping our national sense of morality intact. In Britain they still have someone like that, we don't.
2 BIll Gates
Well there are in fact many Bill Gates out there, but Bill is likable so I will just use his name for this purpose even though I don't mean him directly. People with 100s of millions of dollars have a lot of bribe money. Yeah you get get me? And if there is no family out there that is "above" being bribed then basically you have no idea who the good guys are.
3 Mexico
Mexico is in bad need of royalty. I don't know if that is all that goes on down there is people in cars with guns and corrupt cops that ask for bribes, but that's what it sounds like when you hear that children are in charge of cutting rival groups heads off. I mean I don't mind chopping the head off some cock for breakfast mind you, cuz that's food, but if there is noone "above" accepting bribes, and there are 100s of millions of dollars floating around in one person's bank account, and there are people and corrupt cops running around with guns and money for milk and bread and that's it, then you don't have a government, you have a dictator.
rooster head + chop = hot wings; people head + chop = cannibals
4 Uncle Sam
We haven't had a symbol of national pride in a while. Sorry Dallas Cowboys but being America's team doesn't cut it. And since Uncle Sam is outdated, royalty is what allows a populace to wonder at greatness and believe that some people are not just squeezing other people's complacency to win, but that some people were born to win. Obviously, the good person has to marry perhaps not so good a person to stay interested, so God knows what this girl is going to be like. Like Diana, common people without the right upbringing, are often not up to the task of suffering for the greater good, of giving up their freedom so that others can be inspired, of having people abuse you without the right of retaliation, but that is what it means to be noble and most especially royal. I only hope that this girl is. And by noble, I don't mean weak.
PS. My latest girl is Michelle Forbes, I wonder why I like "butchy" girls sometimes but meh I will let you wonder and decide why.

Wolverine is not outclassed

2010-10-26T10:25:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

I was watching Wolverine Origins the other day and it occurred to me the real purpose of the wolverine. In the final episode with the fiery Phoenix, most of the other heroes are immolated and destroyed despite their varied sets of powers but Wolverine is the only one that can approach Phoenix.

Phoenix is the symbol of eternal death. Knowing that she could go at any minute, it's a wonder that anyone would want to stand next to her or have anything to do with her. She is the only level 5 mutant and despite her immense power, she is cursed with being too selfish. People say that with great power comes great responsibility but I believe, with great power comes even greater hunger. That's why Oprah can't keep her mouth shut about people for example, or why Quadafi must feel like a pencil, or why people that explain global warming, like to get paid. It's not wrong what they do, it's because they do it that their appetites grow.

So is it better to be lazy? Well if you are a type 5 Demon then yes. Oprah this means you.

More importantly is the image of Wolverine. He is a mean cynical person capable of love but very picky about it. He can heal all wounds. He is only a type 1 mutant so he is undetectable or found unimportant by the type 4 ones. He is the symbol of everlasting life, of indomitable will. Whatever his scars, they heal. He is the only person that can stop Phoenix once she relents to the people that hate her. The two are symbols of everlasting life and everlasting death. She has love and wants more. He has none but wants what is not his. The two are corrupt of course. Regular people settle and repress through TV and children most of what their gonads tell them.

I wonder at terrorists sometimes. They must be so clueless... people must think, but religion is like that. Whoever is doing the interpretation is basically putting his bias in it. In fact news is like that. They interpret what is happening and suddenly that man with the rifle is shooting back and the police say they are going to "take care" of it. God help us cuz someone heard shots and it's a mess out there.

The truth of everything is that we live in a complex puzzle wth X man Y man and Z man running it all probably. If we get too full it's time for a war, if we have too much money, it's time for a shortage or for house prices to go up. If we have too much gay people or incest or people in the streets doing drugs not giving a crap about the law, then it's time for AIDS.

It seems terrible to think about. I had to think long and hard about Tiananmen Square when it happened and I saw students, like me at the time, trying to take down that government because it was not "free". I wondered why the US would not step in and help these students who were seeking democracy or an escape from tyranny.

But people did not revolt despite their children's death. Old people really really know what is best and to start out its better not to know that. Maybe Chinese students should not read about American government. Indeed that is perhaps why we should not like communism. Even though it is a perfectly good way to run a government, if we start trying new government systems like Russia did, if we refuse to go with what we got, the "backup" government is who will rule, and that's a scary thought.

Our system of government is not what gives us our strength and riches. It is our faith and trust that yields not only loans for better houses and cars, but charity that defines what we are choosing to do with the excess of what we have earned.

Our system is failing only because other governments, instead of installing a system of trust and faith, have decided to accept bribes and pursue money hoarding as a way of ramping up their coffers. Any why not? Our own mechanics show us how to take people for all they are worth. Our own doctors are out there showing us how they can lose weight and get paid. Our own lawyers are selling their services, "for the people" despite their lack of focus on what they are charging and what their success rate is.

It's perhaps mean to think that some people are out there just criticizing everything people do, like I do, but it is not so much the people as the ideas that need criticism.

If we are going to take jobs overseas, shouldn't we require companies to pay minimum wage overseas and keep the same level of competitiveness alive. Those people may be better programmers but hey at least pay them for that. That is a level playing field. People here can at least take comfort knowing they went to MIT not to make a million a year but to at least be able to outclass some BFE programmer that is willing to do his job for 1/10th the pay.

I guess it's obvious I have a lot of time on my hands and no money to go get beer.

Tom Cruise - idea for Collateral2

2010-10-25T16:46:00.005-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:60 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:75 RNG:58

In this idea for a TV Series, Felix is the bad guy and the DA lawyer wife is the good guy leaving Max in the middle.

Max is now married and doing cab work mostly supported by his wife's job's money which makes for a very "useful" cab company to the DA's office. In an odd twist, his boss might actually do "useful" work for Felix at the same time.

Vincent has been found out. He survived the lucky hit from Max's weapon which was a police weapon and used rounds more meant as stopping power than killing power. This weapon from the "nice" cop that asked Max to sit down cuz "these things happen" after the cab is wrecked.

He and his wife go back and, in a supreme measure of compassion, take his body back to Felix who, knowing Vincent's background and the people he works for, saves his life.

With his ID made, Vincent now has to work for Felix and others but is still unknown to the cops. In the movie, Max and Vincent have to agree, quite impossibly that both are doing good things for the right reasons. Max is taking people to and from of their jobs, while Vincent is taking people in and out of their jobs and, is keeping his indifference as a shield to his obvious lack of morals. Even though Vincent is never around, he now has a problem with Felix and shows up often due to Felix knowing his secret.

The twist comes after that as Felix "the cat" is as cold blooded as he is evasive. His recurring theme is of course the Santa Claus argument where "you better not cry".

Vincent, "the undead price guy" is mostly about money but likes to find people that are respectable, ironically since he is not going to hope for someone to respect him. He retains his friendship with Max and perhaps steps into Max's life when his "problems with people" become too much to bear.

Max is the hero. Armed with his beautiful and powerful lawyer wife he has to take all the reins and keep them all together in some impossible way. He is still "Collateral". His wife knows that there is someone terrible out there and a recurring theme for her is the reality of her night in danger, as she proceeds to understand what her job stands for.

Felix is allowing them to live in the same city with his lawyer wife who is also under threat but is no longer in danger since she was the last witness that was left alive, but was not actually a witness for the case from the movie..

I believe Vincent, or Tom, should almost never appear except as an impossible "angel of death" that reminds Max of the necessity to put a "downpayment" on progress once in a while. He could do like the season finale which would allow the intensity to be there that would come from a Tom Cruise appearance.

In a perfect world, everyone lives, Max thinks. He believes that if he can just be lazy, there will be no trouble so he tries to stay lazy. Ironically, when he is not lazy, trouble comes, mostly from the usual place, Felix but not always. Maybe akin to Dexter, which is a complete rip-off of the Mr. Brooks movie btw and which as a TV series would have had Costner at least alive somewhere instead of where he is now which is offscreen, Felix could, from time to time, try and help Max from real other-world threats that present themselves from out-of-town folk that are new to the area but that have "ambitious" intentions for some of the people of Los Angeles.

On a side note, there could be a middle-aged fat but attractive black lady that comes across as arrogant and demeaning who noone can stand, and use her as a comedy relief.

PS. I think this is a new method for me to express myself and my interpretations and instead of using FFXI as a backdrop, I am just gonna rate movies once in a while. The next one I post is going to be for Dark Honeymoon. Sadly, now that I am watching Direct TV, I don't become the characters in the movies so much anymore so my focus is probably going to be a lot less drawn out. That's me though, 110% at the start and then poof, on the ropes middle of the first round. I usually write better when I have had some scotch anyways but I am almost out of money so who knows when I am going to have my next bit of scotch..

Famous is as famous does

2010-10-17T10:48:00.007-04:00

I have put down Hohito for a while. I am finally beginning to want to create again since losing my job. It is a right awful thing to lose your job. You never feel it was your fault. I wonder at it a lot. Still people are like trees; you either reach for the sun or you will stop growing and die.

My thoughts lately are about the bar since that is where most of my money goes. I am there a lot and there are people that have come to see me there as a regular. Still, I find myself most of the time wondering about the future. Next week my brother in law is playing and that is when I will see my sister perhaps. I don't talk to them much although it is for the best since most of the time my mood is melancholy and makes for not such a good time among friends.

I have DirectTV and although I am spending a GREAT deal of time watching commercials,(which I totally swore I would never do when I stopped watching television several years ago) I feel that I am more a part of regular society somehow.

I would like to post pictures of the game but I'm not going to play it for a while. Last time I was partying with a bunch of JP this one person from my linkshell SizeDD, Siolorae, came and messed my party up. I passed leader to her so that we could avoid a gigas and then she decided not to give leader back when I asked, and then started to invite someone else when I disbanded the party. When I ranted about it in the linkshell someone actually stood up for her even though they had no idea what had happened. It makes you wonder what the hell is going on in that linkshell when they harass someone in groups like that.

It's obvious to me now that the game is corrupt. Evil people not only play out their fantasies abusing people in real life, they do it in the game all the more often and with less scruples. It is time for me to take a break. All day long while I was playing I would receive tells advertising RMT despite the chat filters. It's clear to me that the game is corrupt even at the GM level. I have filters up and the /tells show up all day long. I send emails to SE and get no response. It is sad to have to give up my character which took me so long to develop but I have to put it down. Maybe more famous people will take up the torch and stop RMT from their evil.

I don't mind a little "behind the scenes" business as long as people agree but if that includes "reavers" doing what they want because they are a bunch of "I do what I want" types, then I am out. Promoting risky business is good policy for the sake of keeping things exciting but if that means I am condoning tyranny and torture, well then I was wrong. So now that I am writing again, I am gonna vent.

I might go back to the game but if they can't keep the RMT out or from harassing people, well, the game is obviously not going to be very much fun. And if they can't stop it in FFXI then they certainly can't do it in FFXIV.

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:51 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:48 RNG:43 BRD:20

Old times

2009-07-22T20:26:00.005-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:51 RDM:20 THF:75 WAR:75 DRK:48 RNG:43BRD:20

This is the background that I used to have when I worked with Citibank. I was let go due to unsatisfactory performance but I guess the end was a long time in coming. They were using people to call and attack me on the phone and one time, after the lady had asked me the balance three times and refused to allow me to transfer her to someone else and then threatened my job and dared me to hang up on her, I hung up on her. I knew they were listening but I was on the phone with her for several minutes and was tired and didn't have the energy to tell her off like I might have otherwise.

So now I am unemployed for the first time in a very long time. I am deciding what to do next and at least I am collecting checks till I find work again. The system they use to rate calls is very elaborate and one wonders that it is fair at all. There are like 50 steps to acheiving a good score and if you miss any one area, you fail. Now you have to wonder if it is even possible to check off 50 things on a 3 minute call but that's the procedure.

Truth is they need to get a different quality department or at least rotate them out once in a while. People can't help but be corrupt when it comes to things like this. Even I am corrupt sometimes when it comes to takeover calls, but at least I am
responsible about hanging up on people or yelling at them. Some people have the idea that customers should rule and that the citizen has the final say and that children should have a proper mother or whatever, but imo the ruling body should have autonomy and freedom and then the rest should be happy and follow that example because they choose to, not because they are made to.

The sad fact is however that in my case I was singled out and fired because of others and not because of my inability to do my job well. I was lied to and given no warning that my job could end and when. They made me sign papers that I would improve my quality when in fact performing well on the phone might as well be a 2000 question test timed for 5 minutes. Those who pass... were allowed.

Not a bad idea however, if there is one thing I am learning is how to be unfair to people and how to treat them with prejudice even if I don't know them. I have to ask myself though if it's possible for me to be ruthless like that, to just give up my ideals out of anger. I mean I have, but can I do it just to make a place nicer. When I start a linkshell, should I give them another chance? Is there room for forgiveness even if like 10 people don't like the person? I like to think that there is but usually people are real hardheaded when it comes to weak people or people without self-control.

My idea is to go back to school but how do people go back to school and spend money at my age when what I should be doing is buying a house and getting whatever job I can?

I think I want my Ph'd.

I am spending time with my relatives and they seem busy as always and it is really inspiring to see them doing well and staying busy and having stuff to do etc. I want stuff to do but I want it to be important. I used to believe that educating people was like being Jesus. You brought light to the uneducated ones and so it was that stupid customers became good customers. But if you are going to have conflict in the workplace, you have just a mess of people who have no values talking to your customers and teaching them how you are and how to be. It won't be long before
people start calling in and asking for supervisors instead of speaking to associates who tend to be just stupid punks they hired for the farm or wherever that could speak the language. Why would you want to speak to someone with no sense of values?

If I were customers I would just call and then fax my request in and then I would straight away ask to speak to a sup. If my problem is not solved after that one contact, it would be time to switch companies.

Sadly that is what is supposed to happen but people just don't like the idea of using their freedom of choice. That is why I believe in divorce. Marriage is all nice and useful and stuff but if someone just outright believes that they are always right then it's time to go. Of course in my case I always listen and I think any problem can be negotiated so I don't expect to have a divorce when I get married.

Shadowrun comments

2009-06-13T16:28:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:49 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:45

Well today I have decided to talk about Shadowrun and tell you which jobs should go with what abilities. I used to only play the Dwarf because I am a tarutaru in the game. But as it turns out it probably the hardest character to win with. He has a bunch of spots or essence. The other jobs have less essence but they are able to regenerate theirs. The dwarf automatically sucks other chararcters spots when in close range. This keeps other from teleporting away and keeps them from smoking up. Smoking is very useful for avoiding grenades and even for running faster if you are a troll.
There are four characters total, the troll, the dwarf, the elf, and the human.
Right off the bat you figure that the human is like the bland one of the group but actually he is the one best able to use techs. For the other characters, tech ablities use up spots but humans dont use any spots and have their magic regen. It's gonna be impossible to explain the game in any great measure so for today I will talk about the dwarf.
/

The dwarf is not so slow as the troll but is much slower than the elf. He has more health but much less health than the troll. He is useful against trolls however because his spots are what keep the troll from dying, but without spots he takes a lot less hits to kill. The problem is how to get him close to the troll without the troll noticing soon enough.
/

Smoke is very useful since it lasts a very long time and when you unsmoke, if someone is nearby you can literally re-smoke and keep evading. Because they are so full of spots, its possible for dwarfs to have almost 3 people resurrected so rez(as its called in the game) is useful moreso for dwarfs. Humans and Trolls only have enuf spots to rez one person so its better if the elf and dwarfs get rez.
/

Still, unlike elves that can regen their health, dwarfs need a Tree of Life to get their health back. But they are very weak attackers if they get rez and tree as their first two abilities. But you have to choose which type of dwarf you are going to be. If you are going to be a rezzer then you need to get smoke first then rez and then teleport for evading attacks and keeping your attackers alive. If they kill you after you rez someone then they die too so its useless to be a rezzer and want to kill too cuz you just jeopardize your team. Naturally, what is fun in the game is to be a killer and not a rezzer and actually I have tried that before just to be a rezzer and help the team like a white mage but it really doesnt work. You have to stay on the prowl to be good at the game.

/
As a dwarf, I like to get summoner first thing. People with pistols don't do well against summoner and since dwarfs can hold up to 3 beings, it is comparable to getting rez esp if your teammates are not so good at the game. The next thing I get is smoke. Even though tree of life is what gives you your health back and is perhaps more useful to getting you money for weapons, smoke is what saves me more times than not against grenades. It wasn't until I played troll that I realized how useful smoke is. Trolls dont die from many things but two grenades or 3 and they go down but a troll with smoke is like 3 times as tough to kill, esp since they can regen their spots and then re-smoke about a second or two later. It was during the inital grenade volleys that I got used to using smoke as a troll and with dwarf the same thing applies but even moreso when you have your allies near you trying to kill off someone trying to "kill the rezzer" which is so often the battle cry.

/
The next thing I get is Smartlink. The elves are usually the ones that catch up to dwarf and kill him off and there nothing better against elves than Smartlink and an SMG(sub machine gun). But since SMN is so useful I don't use weapons till later when people start to get more ablities like Gust, which damages you when smoked, and Anti-magic generators which people use to steal the spots from trolls and kill summoned minions alike.

/
Next is rez. Always you should try to get rez as soon as possible but for me if I have rez and a weapon I end up buying weapons the whole time and end up useless as a fighter. You can only have 3 items at the ready but I am able to special-select tree of life and rez so the first 3 on this list is what I use with the addition of teleport if the match lasts long enuf for that.

/
My favorite weapon for the dwarf is the SMG but if a Gatling gun drops from a troll I will get that to use esp since dwarf can run pretty fast with heavy weapons due to their high strength. I dont use the gat except as a long range weapon since the dwarf has not a lot of health. Those elves are usuallly the ones that really get my goat due to their teleport spells which is really the most useful ablility in the game. That's why I use it as dwarf because I am so used to using it with other jobs that I have no trouble instituting it to the dwarf. It's not useful terribly for dwarf because he can use it maybe two times and he is out of magic or spots but like smoke, once you are used to it, it becomes almost second nature to hit it when the time comes which is usually as an escape tactic.

/
The rifle is also a good weapon for dwarf because it is so useful against trolls. Most other char are so fast that rifle doesn't hit very often but with trolls, the rifle is optimal esp with the use of the auto 3 shot. Since elves and humans usually lay waste to dwarfs its often the troll that you will be used against. I try to use anti-magic also but that is another style entirely.

/
The great thing about this game is that it is so challenging mentally. Your choice affects what you will be able to do for the upcoming round and that's the challenging part. If you get rez then no smoke for you, if you get teleport you might be stuck with the pistol until someone drops their weapon(if you really believe that a pistol vs SMG is a risk worth taking).

/
It is a lot like FFXI in if you are a Galka, you will probably prefer troll, if you are tarutaru you will prob go for dwarf. The graphics are top-notch and prob what is great about it is that you have to take your time getting to know the areas so that you are not stuck in some corner when your foes arrive.

/
If there is something that I would like for them to do to the game it would definitely be to add more characters without messin up the ones already there. It is about time for a sequel but I just know they are going to doof it up like they did Halo2 or Soulcalibur. Changing the abilities of characters people have painstakingly become adept at does NOT make the game better. "thot you knew".

/
It would also be nice if they did some cinema cutscenes like in FFXI and added some quests like they did in Unreal Tourny 3. I would also like it if they added some more areas without getting rid of any of the existing areas. Once again the removal of people's expertise in certain areas really does a disservice to loyal fans. I even love the 1800magic skits and I think it would be nice to add them as a reward maybe as an unlockable feature.

/
Still another style for dwarf is to give him strangle and anti-magic generators and gust. Nothing totally takes someone out like the one-two punch of strangle-grenade. Strangle is also useful for keeping ppl away from you and for slowing ppl down that are trying to escape with the artifact.

/
Oh and definitely keep the same announcer, he sounds so tough when he shouts "artifact taken" that he shakes you out of apathy even if someone else is doing the most of the killing.

/
They also need to up the strength of the servers and stop ppl from using Vista. I don't care what ppl think, there is some serious lag in the game and opting for Vista when ppl on xbox are strugglin with lag, puts you at a decent advantage.

Hohito is cracked

2009-06-07T18:57:00.004-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:49 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:45

I started to really miss singing Karaoke the other day and so I thought it would be fun to level BARD. I got him all the way to level 10 in no time flat. I even used the Bastokan Aketon which lokoed kinda weird with subligar but now at level 12 with slacks he looks like a player. Hah!
..
Last night I talked to one my old friends and she said she was no longer involved with her husband. It has been so long since I wanted her and she has been married for so long and we have been friends for so long that it kind of feels weird to ask her out. she is like a sister to me, but deep down I know we would make a good couple. It's weird thinking of a girl like that and not just being excited by her. Truth is she is just normal looking and sexy sort of but when she hits those high notes in Karaoke and looks into my eyes from "way over there" I get lost in my head. Dreamland.

Well I leveled BRD so fast that I decided to go ahead with RDM also since it wouldn't take so long. The truth is that I have re-installed FFXI on 360 and am itching to try it out with my large LCD tv. It just sucks to type with the controller but it is easier in some respects. Macros are a necessity with 360 and it takes a long while to set that up.

I tried subbing SMN and it really was the bomb. BRD/SMN for levels 1-10 give you an extra hit no the mob and Carby doesn't diminsh to zero for some reason. Maybe it's the "Blood of the Vampyr" ability which is regen and refresh for people with signet. I am not sure why.

I sort of wanted to go out to the bar today but now it's late. I don't want to just play the game and I have to work early tomorrow but I still feel like I should try to go out.

It's funny because I don't have a whole lot of promise to getting promoted at work but my manager keeps instilling in me that maybe they need me up there. I mean HOW could I be promoted and I am so close to being in the can right now?

Still, it's nice to see people believing in me and smiling instead of being scared of me. Yesterday I showed up late to the bar cuz I was playing FFXI so much I lost track of time. I totally had a great time but now I wish I would have shown up sooner.

It's hard to take a break from FFXI crack, lol.

I have no idea

2009-06-04T02:31:00.006-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:49 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:45

I have updated the links to the left to allow you to now see a weaponskill chart. I have also added a weather link in case you like to see the map of the country and such.

Once in a while I like to use my BLM to nuke stuff just to find out how high my damage can be. I have recently started using BLM with DRK sub with the idea to become a decent enfeebler of monsters. For example, I could use Frost with Absorb-AGI or I could use Rasp with Blind or use Choke with Absorb-VIT. This not only allows my BLM to help melees in Dynamis but as it turns out, with the amt of skill given by the Relic gear for BLM, my Dark skill is up to 299 with DRK sub. I don't know if this makes sense but I believe that with a DRK sub my sleeping ability goes way up. I will have to test my theory in Dynamis as a sleeper one of these days. BLMS don't have the ability to Sleep like an RDM due to their lower enfeeble skill, but the spell Sleepga II is a more powerful spell than Sleepga which RDMs get for subbing BLM.
>>
>>
Even better is the use of BLM as a sub for DRK cuz with my elem skill at max and dark skill at max, most of my spells stick on the monsters and I am able to triple with Rasp>Blind>Absorb-DEX for a Ninja tank and max evasion or I can do Bio>Drown>Absorb-STR for a Paladin tank and max dmg reduction. With my elemental skill merits maxed, I outdo all BLMs out there leveling up with me as DRK/BLM, nevermind my Ice potency max and my GSD skill being maxed.
>>

It sounds stupid doesn't it. I have no idea what I am talking about do I? Why doesn't he sub what normal people sub?!!
>>

My next project is to use RNG/BRD. You think?!!!

Where War goes, Whm follows

2009-04-29T02:50:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:49 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:39

//

There is a lack of trust sometimes when I speak to customers esp with ones that repeat my name several times like I am some sort of demon with some true name. It is interesting to note that though some people use "handles" that let them repeat it to their hearts content, and still others like to use their full names in every sentence like as if only their first name is not sufficient to identify them. These people tend to be rich.

On other fronts, playing WAR is becoming more possible. I find that many people love to get into merit parties now and have even found more mages to boot. I also find that THF is more playable now. I love to take him to Nyzul Isle and play him against birds but honestly with Haste he is WAY too good for words. I cant use his WS with SA or TA as often as I would like and that makes it tougher to decide when to ws.

I tried THF/RNG 2 nights ago and I was a little plastered and we went to Nyzul Isle with this one guy that all of a sudden pulls out a Mandau and proceeds to go to town with like 1400 dmg from Mercy Stroke. I had a lousy time with it. He was even pulling and making me look bad. I didnt do too badly but I had on AGI gear and the /rng belt but for some reason I thought I would try Meat Mithkabobs.

This was horrible. I was missing like crazy and ws were not hitting; more esp my ranged attack was not hitting which was the main benefit of /rng. I was rueing the day and pretty soon I find myself coincidentally not able to SA the mob cuz the other thf had found a new hobby which was to make me miss SA as often as possible by pulling hate. I had never met this guy before and I would have booted him if I wasn't such a gimp for using meat with ranged attack. Later I tried to pull hate to get the birds to eat my food but I was totally unable to. When the food wore off, I switched to squid sushi and I was in heaven but just then the other thf ses brb 5min. Well I was wiser than to wait for him to make us all suffer for 15+ minutes or more like I had made them so I immediately said [disbanding party].

Next night I resolved to go with my /war since I had 2 merits in double attack and was all set to max out my DEX for max dmg. To my delight I found a BRD and RDM willing to pt. This is like the optimal pt for birds cuz BRD can sleep and RDM can Haste and that leaves all melee earning TP super fast without a lot of pull time in between. But then RDM ditched and we got SCH. This was fine since I had checked him out first for healing and he sed he was good. We had THF THF RNG NIN BRD SCH. We had been sitting there for a good hour with thf thf thf brd and could not find a nin and that is why rdm left, but eventually the thf changed to nin and just like that we were good and going to exp. One of the thf wanted me to get rid of brd so I told him w/e and sent him on his way but then he agreed to pt so I added him. He seemed a little weird and later that night he pulled a ridiculous mess of mamool ja and I wonder if it wasn't intentional.

I was totally doggin him with dmg tho. The Brd had put dual attack-up songs on us and with Berserk up and Warcry I was doing just as much dmg as the guy with Mandau. It was really just ridiculous. 1400 was one of them but I didn't record the top. As a matter of fact I think Mandau guy was hitting 1000+ far less consistently than I was, but that is thanks to the BRD.

I found myself loving /war and now I think I am just going to use /war from now on and forget about /rng for a while. It sucks since I earned the Shark Gun (using Imperial Points) for the sole purpose of using /rng with it but I will give it a rest for a while.

We got like 30k exp that night and I have about 1k left to get my 7th GSD merit for WAR after which I might start upping my double-attack merits to 5 and then maxing out my Savagery merits. Savagery has 2 merits on it now but the next one will cost 5 pts. Ouch.

I still have to max out Freeze II again since they upped the max recently but that also costs 5pts and I am slow to do it since I like using WAR.

I am thinking of using my WHM as a tank since I often find that one detail missing from my late night merit selection. Since I can Haste myself and heal myself and noone is probably going to take too many hits if I take them all, I find that the most important thing to that end is to find items for WHM without too much -enmity and spell interruption gear. I don't want to sound crazy but WHM/WAR works pretty good against Lesser Colibri esp with Flash and Provoke but it seems like overkill and since I haven't done 75 levels of tanking, I just know I am missing something important. I can't decide if Blink or Stoneskin is more important but I know I can't quick cast those spells during the fight while healing. I also wonder if /WAR provoke is more hate than WAR/ provoke. If it is less, then WAR/WHM will prob work better esp with all the +enmity gear out there. Sadly, the buttersheep doesn't get to use Flash which would really make him stand out and grab hate back from the rest of the hate pullers.

The hard part of /war tank is going to be to teach people to let me get into yellow so I can heal myself. The next hard thing is to get club up to max which is not TOO far off since it is at 210 or so but it is not going to hit very often without acc gear and without food against birds. I love to invent things and this is just another of my ideas since I think I know so much. I have that if I go with another war/nin and tank as war/whm, that it would be better for the sake of the party since I have so much skill with GSD that I would still hit enuf to keep +enmity effective and I could still use blink at the end of the round for at least a couple of shadows. Still I wonder if I should use evasion gear since it would useful due to have thf at 75 my evasion is maxed.

There is no hope from ash

2009-04-24T16:52:00.004-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:49 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:45

Ever since I can remember I have wanted to have a more successful experience online but I have found myself often outdone by people with more will. I am ever so rudimentarily taken sometimes by simple selfishness that I lose track of what really offensive behavior is. But I am old now. I no longer find anything so right or so wrong that I will complain endlessly. ` I think I understand that the greater good is not always my version of good.

I have taken some time to level DRK and I find myself very happy with my choice of subs. People are so taken aback by my choice of subs in my other jobs but I like the fact that I find it useful to do my thing my way.

Yesterday I was partying with a bunch of people and we literally were thre all day. I have my DRK now to level 45 and I wonder if that might be the next job to level to 75. I like SMN tho and since RNG is not too far off, I am half considering leveling all 3 jobs in 10 level increments.

Getting their AF for all 3 jobs could prove quite a bit of fun since there is so much of it to get. Matter of fact, I have yet to get any of the level 40 weapons for them and that might prove fun too.

I use DRK/BLM as my job for him. It sounds stupid until you realize that I have maxed merits in Elemental Magic. The skill therefore surpasses regular BLMs in elemental magic. I could basically sit there and nuke and do a better job. That is all fine and dandy too but I also have maxed GSD merits. So I usually take hate and tank most times towards the end of the fight. I like to get hate cuz it shows Im doin that right thing. I don't have +enmity or voke so if I am just nuking or doing ws and trashing the mob, then I know my sub ain't gimp. It's funny tho, cuz noone will invite me but when they do, hah! they all end up bowing.

Yay, for once something. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````

What is LOVE?

2009-04-17T14:05:00.005-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:49 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:39

Well I had a great time in Las Vegas but I managed to not sleep very much and drink a whole lot several days in a row which put me in bed for like a week. I have to say that I won't be doing that too soon.

The really best part of the trip was the Burlesque show. It was top-notch. I also got a kick out of this one place with a theater up on the sky that looked like it was showing on the sky or something but it has been a while since I went so now I forgot the name.

I have started to play SMN more now and it is nice to use it esp with Level sync parties and such but I still kind of miss WAR. I have him at 5 merits for GSD and I want to get him with 7 so that he will be up with my THF. I also think it is only right that I merit to max his double attack ability but I really don't play that much anymore. Most of the time I can't find mages when I search for ppl to merit with which is usually after 2am.

I have really dodged Dynamis of late because of various things but hopefully I can go Tuesday coming up. Friday I can't make it cuz I work until 2am.

I haven't played Campaign for a while and I just know my medal has expired. Darnit.

I have started playing The Last Remnant and it is a nice game but it is taking too long. The battle sequences are a bit chaotic. Sometimes you are involved and other times you are not. The commands don't include the majority of things you can do and you really have to play it for a long time to get a knack for what works and then it's good to start over. I am still on the first disk but since I haven't played it in the last couple of days I think I might put it down for a while. My XBOX overheated or something and now I have to send it back and have it repaired. I think it overheated but the tech staff probably don't like to use that word. I know it was terribly dusty. The fan that I bought for it was filthy. I think instead of voiding the warranty when you open it, there should an optional cleaning device sold because that or overheating, I think, are probably the major causes of breakdowns,

I have started to build a bar at my house and learn how to make drinks on my own. It works better than trying to learn piano again. I am oh so not musical nowadays. No piano and no karaoke has made me a very dull person but I find also that I am not so spastic either. I sometimes wonder if women were meant to be musical and men not so.

I am going to buy the new campaigns when they come out but I still haven't done all of the WOTG missions and I think it is just pointless to have more missions come out when the previous ones aren't finished yet.

I find myself in tough times with my bar friends. I really can't see them that much anymore and sometimes I wonder about their disposition towards me. Are they jealous that I have more money? Do they think that I think I am "too good" for them? Do they talk about me? Since I have only one person I want to be my rank 1 friend, aka my girlfriend, I have purposely not hooked up with my friends for days on end. I know how it will be and I will just be doing them a favor by not shafting them for my girl when the time comes. As it is, I see them once a week, my best friend once a week, and my sister once a week. I think that's useful without asking too much of them. Still, I sometimes shaft them just to play games.

I sometimes wonder if the games are what keep me sedated or if it's my friends or if it's my sister. They are all very exciting people. My bar friends can play poker till the sun comes up and we still would go on if it wasn't obvious ( aka. the SUN) we should stop. My best friend can talk forever about everything and we really chew the fat about everything. Sometimes I literally have to force him to hang up the phone cuz we will just keep on talking. My sister has like this huge house that I could get lost in and she often has parties with many people there that makes hanging out with her a whole lot of fun. FFXI takes forever to do anything and while we do stuff we talk about things to no end as long as noone offensive is chewing on someone else's "gimpness" which makes the game totally engrossing even if it is just to check the AH prices or to farm of to synth stuff. I even campaign sometimes and enjoy myself.

So what do I need a girl for?

WAR goes to Vegas

2009-03-04T01:59:00.002-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:39

Well in an effort to write something I am writing this for March since I have fallen behind quite a bit. I was going to print this huge bystory on the Presidents and my opinion of things but I just sound like an Ashford when I say important stuff but then am too lazy to fix my car.

I have really started to bone up my WAR with merits and now he has 2 Savagery merits and 3 GSD merits and it really makes a difference damage-wise. I still have some problems in merit partys with Mamools cuz GSD skill isn't really up to par yet even with Sushi, but the good thing is that with more skill it will be and I will have uber dmg/sec ration and fantastic crits to show for it!

I am going out of town this weekend to Las Vegas. I expect to have a really great time because I have never been but I don't want to spoil it by expecting too much.

At work I am having problems logging in on time. I have to get up even later nowadays than I used to and I still manage to start late. I tell ya, don't put me in charge TOO soon.

Well time for Dynamis, I don't really have any reason to go and it's kind of a drag to log in and go out there but once I get there, I really enjoy myself usually. I have gone as WHM recently and it really does payoff to have a WHM in the BLM party. I was able to insta-cure BLMs like crazy, even throwing Blink-ga out there with /SMN for the NM blasts in Xarca.

I kind of really need to get back to maxing out my Ice ability in BLM since they raised the max for it but I am too busy with WAR for that now.

I love being WAR, even if I suck at it.

WAR is the way

2009-02-01T16:07:00.004-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:39

Even though I like to play WHM a great deal and though it is usually safer to walk to various distant places in the game like you see here in the picture, I like to play WAR.

It's funny but usually as WAR/DRK even though it takes forever to get an invite, I usually perform better than most other jobs. That's in no small part to the unlocked Subduer GSD. It has better stats than even the Perdu Sword. That with the Claymore grip gives me a total of 9% additional Critical hits. I maxed out my 4% critical merits so now that gives me a total of 13%.

If I maxed out my Attack with gear and everything my Attack goes up to 610 which pretty much close to the max. I could add maybe another 12 attack in earrings but I need the ones I have for their Accuracy.

In a party setting, I usually will hit for 250 and 300 damage per swing. With that much damage I might as well not even use the weaponskill. The Ground Strike weaponskill gives that much more damage. In fact, I have had to use -enmity to limit the hate I take cuz Last Resort is almost like Flash for some reason. The monster sometimes turns before I even hit him just by using the ability(DRK ability). Souleater has the same effect. Sometimes just to spike damage I will throw out Souleater for the weaponskill only, but if I have a overkill healing setup, like WHM and RDM/WHM, I will use it to build TP which takes my damage up into the 300s.

[Edit: I have found that using Souleater with weaponskill doesnt add to it cuz if you look at your HP, it won't go down, and WAR hands relic gives +2 enmity so I am starting to stop using them and stick with Mermans Mitts which I used to use with THF for the one extra STR and 3 DEX]

I use the Trooper ring which you can get from the sanction guy. It gives -4 enmity which is good cuz the Boots and the Hands relic gear that I use each give +1 enmity. to further boost -enmity I can equip the Spectral Belt which gives another -4 enmity but usually it's not necessary cuz there's always some guy out there with Uber gear taking hate with /NIN.

You would think that I would envy them for that but it's actually funny to note that the other day, because there were no tanks, I decided to go /WHM so that we could get out there and party and lo and behold another WAR popped but he was /NIN so I invite him and we all go out and you know something, two WARs as tanks is not a bad setup. We still got plenty of WS off and got like 20k exp that night. We got lucky, and I was /WHM using Blink!

Things are calming down at work and today is the big Superbowl day so I am going over to my sister's house and watching it there. I am going for the Steelers but I really just hope it's a good game.

Over the hill

2008-12-02T02:53:00.004-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:75 RNG:44 DRK:39

I had a close call and started talking to this girl for like a week but now she won't call and people are wondering a lot about what is going on in my head. Nothin much.

My bar friends are still their usual selves, distant. But I can't say I blame them. I am so loopy now with my schedule, it's a wonder I do anything fun at all.

In the game, I have finally unlocked Ground Strike and it is an awesome weaponskill soemtimes topping 1k in dmg if I use Berserk with it. I thought that subbing DRK would add a lot of ability to the weaponskills but Last Resort doesn't seem like that big a deal and Souleater really uses up the HP so I use it only for weaponskills. I almost think it is better to have /THF but people like pull hate so much in TP parties that trying to get a SA / WS off is almost a waste of time.

My car is running ok for the time being but that infernal "check engine" light is still on after a crapload of money was dropped into the car. Honestly, I would not recommend Audi to anyone.

Don't know what I am doin for Christmas but hopefully something useful. I am trying to knock out the Subduer by hitting the crabs in Kuftal Tunnel with my War/whm 75 and my fellow Healer 43 Jajuju. I wish she didn't use the sword and shield but oh well.

It's funny, I don't get a kick out of learning things like I used to. So this is what they call over-the-hill.

Hybrid sub WHM? No, thanks.

2008-11-14T02:47:00.004-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:74 RNG:44 DRK:39

I have a new job now after barely making it out of my quadary alive and now I get to work for a new mgr with new things and options available. I still am on the last leg when it comes to work but it doesn't seem so hopeless now.

I visited my old friends from the thing. old bar and they still seem happy to see me but like old friends go, they are probably wondering why I don't hang out with them so much like as if it's something that they did. Truth is I changed my schedule to work til 1:30AM which makes it impossible to go out on a work night. For me that was a good

In the game I have unlocked the Sword of Trials and am raring to get that weaponskill up and running to knock out the Subduer. I am also thinking about working on my Breeze Gorget. If what I read is true, it will work not only for my Dancing Edge for THF, which I had planned for a while back but got sidetracked, but it works for Ground Strike, making it doubly useful for both jobs.

I still wish I could use WAR for tanking but recently I ran a party out of Caederva Mire and was going to Level Sync with my BLM which fell to 74 during the last few Dynamis' but then since we couldn't find a tank, I subbed WHM and hooked up a THF and went at it. Even though we did ok and had enough support, the job doesn't inspire people to play well and unfortunately it was more pain than I want to put another party to go through. It didn't help things that the puller was like almost the worst thing in a BRD outfit but his unhappiness was probably a part of all the links we had to deal with.

Is it any wonder we don't have more Hybrids out there?

Into the west

2008-10-16T15:13:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:74 RNG:44 DRK:33

Yay, I still have my job. I don't know how but it's there.
//
In the game I have finished getting my skill to 250 so that I can open the Inheritance quest to get Ground Strike. I have talked to WARs and they say Ground Strike is better than Spinning Slash and if that's true then it will be WELL worth the effort to get it since everything else in GSD land is rank. Now I have not only my Subduer to unlock but the Sword of Trials. Thats a lot of weaponskills. I need 500 pts for the Subduer and 300 for the Sword of Trials. The stats on the Subduer though are top notch. Even the Ragnarok GSD doesn't beat it by too much after the sword is unlocked. To boot, I have leveled my DRK up to 37 so that he can sub DRK and use GSD better for ws.
//
I have invested some in DRK/BLM btw so now I end up getting people pissed that I don't play DRK/WAR. But if you have max elem skill and your Wizard's Earring gives you +5 Elemental Magic on top of that, then you basically have a BLM with A+ skill weapon, and honestly once you get to level 40 when you can cast Absorb-VIT and Choke on the same mob before weaponskill you are gonna wonder why everyone doesn't play DRK that way. Prob with BLMs is though that many people overdo it and when people overdo it, the first thing people think is "we need to nerf BLM". Like they nerfed RNG? Bah!
//
It's in people's nature to fear what they don't understand and try to "just get rid of it" as they say. People don't wanna learn and they don't like inventions and usu when faced with a new problem they wonder how they got on the "wrong" path, as if any path is wrong.
//
Today I have to bring potluck for my new team and hope they are well with my presence there but honestly after being absent from work for a week and having all of my IDs reset and missing and even having my badge deactivated, I wonder if this is really a fresh start this time.
//
I have been eating too much and I really have to get back in shape somehow. Most of what I wanna do though is just get back in bed and sleep till I feel better, but my stomach just keeps doing what it does in a very eery way.
//
Tomorrow, I have a big day in store I think. I don't know quite what to do.

I am learning the words to "Into the West" by Annie Lennox. It's a very sad song. The words aren't sad though but still it brings me down. It makes me want to protect someone but there is noone to protect.

Wanna be me?

2008-10-06T02:42:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:74 RNG:44 DRK:26

Not a lot more going on. I am still losing my job. If you like being told you have one more chance to improve quality and then you get a zero so you know you are going to lose it but then you apply for a new position and get called for an interview and then get told sorry you are still not meeting quality but then get told you are moving to a new team which means you still have a chance but then get shipped off to the Mgrs office to explain why you keep "threatening" associates that harass you at work and wonder if tmw is even going to have anything positive come out of it, then you wanna be me. If you like going to the bar to do that same thing you have done for the last 10 years and honestly "in a retarded sort of way" believe maybe you will find a girl, then you wanna be me. If you like driving in a great car that has everything going wrong with it and know that it's gonna cost a crapload of money to fix even though you know you shouldn't fix it, then you wanna be me. If you like being out of breath cuz you smoke too much, then you wanna be me. If you like being fat and skinny in an "anima" sort of way, then you wanna be me.
On the other hand, at least I have money saved. I have great friends even if I don't hang out with them so much. I have a good time online and a good time just talking with ppl at the bar.
Count your blessings, I guess.

WAR with GSD?

2008-09-12T21:15:00.005-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:74 RNG:44 DRK:26

Well, I am losing my job again. Small wonder since I can't speak to someone without losing my breath. I feel sort of weak lately but I don't think it is a lack of sleep. I have something wrong with my abdomen but I also have an appointment with the Mayo Clinic soon so I hope they are able to fix whatever is wrong with me. I heard from somewhere that they are the best hospital in the region so here's to hoping.

I finally have my WAR up to the level that I need him to be so that I can level /NIN to 37 and then just use the sub for his last level into 75. I can also begin the weaponskill quest for Ground Strike so that if I don't decide to wait for the sub to be leveled, at least this weaponskill is one that can be used effectively for exp. The one that I use currently is Crescent Moon and if you use it right at 100% TP you always get between 100-150 dmg which is really retarded when there is Dancing Edge and Spinning Slash and stuff out there puttin the hurt on those mobs making me look like I don't belong there. But if I wait for 300% TP then I get a regular 600-650 dmg so I am lucky I figured that out or I was gonna just quit trying to defend myself.

The linkshell CarpeNoctem is coming to a close. They are going to try to finish out their final days and get everyones gear that is promised. I wish them the best. It will probably take 6months I am guessing.

Yesterday I was at the bar cuz I am on vacation and instead of spending 100s on food and pool action, I like to go plop my semi round hiney in front of the crack machine. I wonder why they call it that? Anyways, I do get some interesting convos with the waitresses that are forced to talk to me cuz their station is right there. I wonder sometimes if they even like me all that much.

The campaign battles are really quite fun and are a nice change of pace from besieged. That reminds me that I just spent 15k ISP on the Shark Gun. Many people are out there wondering wth good is a gun for THF. Well my friend, if you love hitting those colibris for exp with your piercing weapons, you are REALLY going to love using THF/RNG with your Iron Bullets and Sharkgun and hitting them for 700 dmg using Slug Shot and then 500 dmg using Barrage. I only use the technique when Sharpshot is up so it's not all that often but it is quite a bit of fun. The downside is that you can't pull with the gun and if you unequip it to use the crossbow you lose TP so you have to have a bard pull. I was lucky enough to have a NIN DD DD and me plus RDM BRD pt doing birds the other day and we were the only ones there on the second level and it was a blast. I got like 78k exp in about 3 hours or so maybe a little longer. I think the other two dds were elite though so that probably helped and "as Uchipu used to say", the bard was on crack and that helped a lot.

I have had the BLM belt out of the COP zones locked for like what must be the whole time I have been in the Dynamis ls cuz as soon as I got 30pts I locked it and it has never dropped or I haven't been able to go or whatever. Tonight I hope it drops. I only have one more BLM piece for 5/5 and one more WHM piece and 2 more WAR pieces.

Ok well enough said now I will talk to you guys later.

Fated to eat

2008-08-22T03:35:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:71 RNG:44 DRK:23

I gotta finish this crazy trek to Bastok and I have no map and it's taking forever. I guess this is what it must have been like for everyone that got off the boat in Aht Urghan those first few days. I must admit tht I do love the new scenery and traveling and such but I don't like dying to Hippocampis with True Sight. Remember long ago when Uchipu died of aggro and noone wrote about it. Well, it was aggro to these rascals and trust me, it could happen to anyone cuz they move fast and can see thru invis so you either stand behind something and wait for hours or you are gonna have to chance it.

I am looking forward to being able to skill up my weapons with WAR once I can participate in Campaign Battle but it IS taking forever. The hurricane that passed by Jacksonville, FL this afternoon caused some commotion in the city but we are being hit with high winds and stuff yet nothing too serious.

I have really cut down on the drinking and though this may seem to be a good thing, it seems my digestion has slowed WAY down. I am now FAT. I hate that. Noone fat should ever say to themselves they are OK fat. Now I have a yardarm of work to do before I can lose this weight. How?

Fongjpit

2008-08-11T16:02:00.005-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:71 RNG:44 DRK:23

;;

People tell me that /RNG is gimp. I seem to remember telling people about /NIN and /WAR and /RNG in my THF related blogs earlier. It adds more accuracy and even though it it is missing Berserk and Aggressor, it still gets your THF to TP 100% faster with crude equipment. Now, someone with a Scorpion Harness probably has an easier time. Someone with a Peacock Charm also has an easier time. I hope you people reading will think of me when you go to try out your subs in pts cuz the worst thing people can say is Communism sucks when you don't know what it is. Don't listen to everyone else cuz you're STUPID if you don't. Listen to them when you are sick and need help but not when you are trying new things to improve productivity. Is anyone going to say Hey that DMNKNGHT guy was right when he told HOHITO to stuff it? No. Are they going to say hey HOHITO found out that /RNG is better for 2 Handed weapons if you don't have skill merits or are using a Byrnie with Swordbelt? Yes. Everyone telling you you can't is one of thousands and they position themselves as savers of the human race when in fact they are excusing their prejudice.

;;

Anyway, you don't believe me just go out there and try it. Some people are just fongjpit. +65 Atk [Do you have it?]

;;

On the other hand, there is some equipment out there the Jaridah stuff level 55 that gives gobs of Ranged Attack and Acc for someone using WAR at that level and you are thinking this is a good opportunity to try being a RNG with Berserk. Well, don't. I tried it and I immediately went back to /THF. Ranged Attack for WAR was clearly never intended. If you are going to use /RNG use it for getting TP faster and because you are using a bunch of ATK gear with Sole sushi.

ps. Dont write me off as a communist either, I am thankful for this country and for it's constitution but the system is not what is corrupt, it's the people, so all systems can work I believe as long as good values are followed and trust is engendered.

A Free Knight

2008-07-29T02:37:00.002-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:69 RNG:44 DRK:23

Ya you all know him, the Batman would make you think that he is all against the criminals that murdered his parents and that justice rules all but that doesn't always coincide with the law, so where does that leave you, history's fabled vigilante, the walker of paths illgotten, the purveyor of souls unbidded, the economy priest?
/../
Will you save the world?
/../
Well it doesn't make you very popular and by the way it doesn't make you many friends. I have love for everyone I have ever met but does that love get me anything in return? No. I continue to be somewhat alienated, somewhat coddled, somewhat untrustworthy.
/../
Do I trust anyone?
/../
In the game, as in many circles I currently travel in, I am alone. I find solace in the fact that I don't have too much time left to lead by example even to my would be child. Were it that I had a child, I perhaps would tell him to embrace the world with arms wide open, but I don't have one. My hope is though that I will have many children one day even if I am past my prime. I find those usual stat differentials hitting me like they do to your character in AD&D when you get older. -1 STR -1 DEX +1 INT +2 WIS. Don't you think so?
/../
My mind is on my WAR now but I can't help wishing he would get there already cuz I wanna level my DRK. I feel that DRK is what I am now but I need to get my tank up to speed so that I can hurry up and start my own ls with my WAR/NIN tank. Don't ask me how I am going to tank with /THF tho. I kind of hope to do it with /WHM but my WAR is such a bastard and he reminds me so much of me in real life, that I keep on playing him just to spite the world. He is not so bad after all but he ain't the best. And if he had his GAX leveled he would be great. But that's perhaps the part of me I never leveled. My best weapon, my bullshit skill. In Braveheart, the old man's brother Argyle tells William that first he must level his wit before he levels his sword, A Great Axe is perhaps the hardest weapon to actually use in rl and so it is to use it effectively that you must learn to time your blows on foes that don't expect to get hit. You can imagine using a two-handed heavy blade against anything else and you would honestly have to be 3 times the size of your foe to land one good hit and not go down. And that is what I mean by using your wit in convo against other men. They often size you up and potshot you until like you are going to have to fight everybody in the bar to speak to that beautiful woman but you actually need is to use your wit to time your blows and make them own up to their unsportsmanlike conduct. If you let them affect you, that's when you lose cuz noone mad is very sexy. That's what people keep telling me at work too, to just ignore the blows and try not to get mad but it doesn't work for me. I am a simple man. A man of no small talent mind you but still innocent compared to the throng of hawks that roam the barscene. Right about now some girl is reading this and thinking all I need is a chance and I'm telling ya, if I smell pity, you are OUT.
/../
Meh, another day in the life of the WAR/THF or /coward. Is there something worth fighting for when it comes to women? And what good example would I be setting there?

Hohito is happy really

2008-07-17T03:02:00.003-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:68 RNG:44

I have perhaps done my last bid at poker for a while. I partied a little too hard last time and now it's got me wondering how much I can trust my friends. Some friends DO let friends drive drunk and that's the ones you better not have too close to ya when you're in a jam.
../
I am getting my WAR up there in levels and I was just now able to buy him a Byrnie. Since I plan to use him as a tank I don't want a lot of -evasion stats in the gear. It's my opinion that with a WHM using Flash to stun during recasts, the WAR/NIN is a superior tank even over a NIN when with enough evasion measured in. Now the only problem is deciding which weapons would be best. I am guessing dual Macuahitls for their +enmity.
../
At work some new women are in the group and I am really relieved to see that people are starting to leave me alone. I am even starting to get my stats above average and such. I am currently trying to figure out how to spend the rest of the days off I have this year and that's sort of fun.
../
It's funny but every now and then I think of women but don't really like one in particular. It's funny not to have that fantasy girl-wants-me feeling like I used to have. I honestly don't LIKE like any particular woman and that's sort of weird.
../
Maybe I am old.

Diplodicus was a dinosaur

2008-06-10T02:33:00.004-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:65 RNG:44

..
Here I have some friends that helped me get the Carby Mitts the other day. I don't talk to them much though unless they are in Dynamis though. I don't have a linkshell yet and though there are many out there, I would rather have a special one or maybe my own.

../

I have made amends with my old poker friends and really had a kick "butt" time playing last night but as is usual my mouth ran into overtime and they started giving me flak about it.

.. /

I have this nice new bump on my elbow from a spider bite that probably happened at the cookout last week I went to before the block party. I have honestly no idea why people have their preconceived notions that I am after their women. Sure I'm alone and I got a big fat pickle in the pickle jar but that don't mean nuthin. I remember the girl in question coming over for god knows what reason in her bikini and sitting on my knee while her suit was wet(It's lucky I don't get hard ons anymore btw), and it must have been then that one of the guys landed a bug on my elbow that gave me a bite that was so serious my whole elbow section turned black and blue. Judging from all the children there, I gathered in precollection that perhaps they didn't have anything to worry about cuz if they would have gotten "stung" like I did, we woulda been at the hospital. Maybe now I wish I WOULD have gotten a hard-on!

.. /

At work things are going ok. I have started getting along with some people there and they pretty much are leaving me alone. I sometimes make these outbursts when people or customers are stupid on the phone and perhaps this is part of what they don't like about me. I have made strides to curb that behavior of late.

.. /

In the game I am still trying to get WAR up to level 70 and such so that at least I can buy him a Hauberk. This armor is great but it also has -evasion which is not what I want out of my WAR tank gear. The Merman's Mittens look great too but I have the opinion that they would look REALLY cool if I had a Haubergeon cuz they are white in color. Maybe I should not have gambled my 180k which I lost in like 2 randoms, pooF! Maybe I should not have gambled with that guy's wife either. If I would not have let her sit down, I would not have gotten stung.

.. /

As usual, it comes back that horrible things that happen to me are in fact my own fault somehow.

What's a good brand?

2008-05-30T03:34:00.008-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:65 RNG:44

My WHM doesn't get too much use of late though I often experiment with WHM/WAR against lesser colibri just to see if I can survive a while and get a pattern down of Flash > Provoke > Cure III > etc. It works well esp with all of the -% Spell Interruption gear that I have. I still have to get the AF feet though that gives -20% spell interruption and he will be unstoppable. Then he will just need HP.

..
Well I finally got WAR to where he can lot stuff from the cities which gives me a reason to go to city Dynamis' again. Honestly though most of the Dynamis gear is set up towards +Attack and what I plan to use WAR for mostly is as a tank as WAR/NIN at 75. It's then I I will have full ability to start a linkshell and be able to fill the role and talk about most things including tanking with some authority. I have SO far to go before I level NIN to 37 but who knows, before I know it I will be there.

../

Things at work are really improving but I found it odd that one person mentioned that I was always just in time to log in like within the minute even though I live 40 minutes away. Is that part of my personality? To always be at the cutting edge before falling off? I certainly am there in my job but I don't have anyone's animosity there anymore. Things are looking up.

..

People at poker are mad at me. I guess it's cuz I don't like to call them back. I have this new phone that is a whatever brand and has the voicemail on this icon on the second page. It's really annoying to hear my old friend's voice inviting me to a party that happened TWO DAYS ago! That phone is just a disaster! I am just gonna have to sweat it with their antics until I am back in their good graces cuz for me if I ignored them like they think I am ignoring them, I'd be mad too. This all wouldn't have happened though if they had found my old phone. It was a NOKIA. That is a good brand.

What's Carbuncle mean?

2008-05-24T15:55:00.005-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:64 RNG:44

..

This is a picture of me and a couple of BLMs that do Dynamis getting our Carbuncle Mitts. I got the offering on my own a while back and everytime someone sent a shout for it, I wished I had the item. So now I have the mitts and even though it's handy dandy for SMN, it would be REALLY nice if WHM could use them so that I could keep on throwing up Shining Ruby for my PLD pts. SMN is perhaps what I will level next after WAR since I hear a level 75 SMN can solo almost anything better than any other job.

..

I am about to go to a block party tomorrow and hope that we have a good time there. I also am planning on going out tonight to the bar. My brother-in-law and his band are playing so that means plenty of time to talk to my sister. I wonder if all the people will be there that were playing darts there Wednesday. Wednesday, I was off, which usually doesn't happen since I changed my schedule. I was drinking way too much way too often and when I had my blood tested a couple of months back, this sympathetic doctor( ya you're like huh? ), told me that I had better cut drinking altogether if I was going to get back in good health. So now I have a schedule that puts me out at 1:30am. This makes it impossible to go out at night except on my days off. This was a good idea I think because I really do feel a lot better in general though my passion is somewhat buffered of late. I don't feel like attacking anything, I don't like to plan things on the game anymore, I even feel that maybe I should just give up going to the bar altogether but then where does that leave my chances for romance?
..

Whew that was melancholy, like a 3 bar melody.
..

Well I probably don't even have that right and since I just lost my glasses and my computer has problems with it and my car has a crack in the glass, I get this bunched up feeling sometimes like I can't fix it all. I hate that.
..

My WAR if you have noticed has gone up two more levels and is almost at 65. I would like to have more options with WAR and have tried using WAR/RNG but I get instant mention when I join pts. However against colibri, I do really well with Slug Shot + Sharpshot. Especially since I have ammo I have saved up for my RNG for when he parties. I also got this Gun Belt for cheap and I believe the extra skill helps. RNG adds an accuracy bonus for faster TP. The really nice thing is that I can play this other game while my WAR sits there waiting for pts which comes maybe once an afternoon. I better get back on the game by the way and try to get an invite before it becomes night.
..

My BLM has only one more item to use for his complete AF set and even though I find the pants useless, I do plan to use them with my MAB gear if I ever get that pendant. And, since I have Flare II and Flood II and Burst II and Freeze II, it might be in my best interests to get my Water Staff and Fire Staff so I can max out my accuracy when those days come along and I want to use those spells. It's funny that I learned about the staves' accuracy from Evul, a THF. I never read anything about the Macc in the forums anywhere. But in hindsight it does make sense and it does feel like they have it.
..

The downside to this is that if I start thinking about BLM again I will join a Limbus LS and go get my Shadow Trews and upgrade my Wizard's Coat and where will that get my WAR? So I better stop talking about BLM and get out there and wait for my invite and skillup my GAX and SCY and PLM and get ready to excel with my WAR/THF or WAR/RNG.
..

What's that look for? Oh yeah well CARBUNCLE!

I like a good party

2008-04-25T03:27:00.004-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:63 RNG:44

Ages ago I was a part of something selfless. Something useful and not useful. Something simple. Times are so much enjoyable when nothing is needed. Such was the way of Uchipu and her Monday nights. We were all so young.

Bah, this is the only picture on my old computer that I could use so I am using it. It boggles my mind though some of the people that have achieved great things and then choose to do something else. If I had Lu Shang, no way would I try another game after fishing 10000 Moat carp. I would have to be nuts.

I have to continue my upward journey slowly but surely. I have this dream of having this killer DRK with relic GSD with maxed INT and Dark skill and since my BLM already has most of those merits covered, I keep on dreaming. Recently, thanks to a couple of dynamis linkshell buddies, I discoverd what 20k per hour exp feels like and I LIKE IT. If leveling NIN and RDM and SAM or whatever subs get me into those type of parties then I will perhaps try to level those jobs. I spent my 5 merits points I earned that night on critical hits. I don't know why but it just feels great to do a 3 critical hits in a row. Plus I get the impression that more critical hits possible make my multi-hit weaponskill(ws) damage go up.

I sort of feel like I should have kept on maxing my Dagger skill and my evasion but critical hits helps my WAR which I am trying to level and it helps my DRK and RNG so after a lot of thought I went that way.

I got lost in BCD Friday night and after going all over the place I managed to aggro some mobs in a tower and the Hydra DRK proceeded to put me in the ground. I should have used reraise to get out there and I will def do that in the future.

I let a friend drive my car and he put a big dent on it I won't say where but instead of getting angry and rueful I remembered this one time when I put a dent in his wall so it's all good. I wonder if it was intentional though but hey if I damaged his wall, does it matter? Guess not.

Got the next couple of days off so I am liking the idea of going out of town. Still I don't want to spend any money but I never go on vacation and OH yeah, I would have to go alone. Bah.

Tomorrow night, I guess I'm buying shots. Party!

Vista is for the birds

2008-04-06T22:29:00.004-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Well I finally just went out and bought another FFXI game cuz I lost my other one and lo and behold now it won't run under the current operating system which is Vista. This after I bought a nice new video adapter to use. I almost thought I fried my hard drive because I was so stupid as to put it on my bed and change out the video card with my tennis shoes on. I thought my computer was so dead but then I installed my old video card back and it turned out to be something else that was wrong. There were guys from the linkshell that seemed to think there should be no problem using Vista so I had renewed hope that it could work but it hasn't yet.

.

Last night at the bar I started giving my sister crap again and today I am really embarassed by it. Once I start going my mouth sort of goes off on its own. You'd think at this age I would be able to control that.

.

I have spent the last 3 hours trying to find how to install FFXI with Vista as the OS but no luck. I will try to do chat help tomorrow I guess. I really hate wasting time like this on my day off that I could have spent playing Shadowrun or something but I'm missing the game and don't want to play it on 360 cuz I cant type so well on it.

.

I got my WHM feet in Dynamis Friday and perhaps the next time I am in Xarca I can get the mitts to fall so that I am 5/5 on WHM Relic gear. I was really hoping a set of BLM hands would fall though so I could try the gloves on with my Dark gear. The computer I was using though was the old one and it was just horrible and lagged something fierce. I might try installing the old video card on that one and perhaps download the driver for it to see how it goes. I have like NO IDEA when I will be able to play on my own computer though. I have had this nice new keyboard with backlit keys that I could use in the dark for like 3 weeks now and haven't been able to play.

.

Tonight is poker night but I feel the guys sort of getting strained about having me around. I have been the big winner for like 3 weeks straight and one of them owes me money even, maybe not the best way to keep a friendship going. I will have to call them. I finally got my cellphone working so I guess I will put it to good use.

.

Later.

What's hard?

2008-04-04T18:12:00.006-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

This is my WAR in 2005 before I had a linkshell and knew that GSD was B+ weapon. I think I have enjoyed leveling my WAR most of all really. It is surprisingly fun to play and timing ws for sc is fun also. I really need to get my WAR up to 75 one day. I am reticent to believe I leveled my DRK cuz now I really wish I was closer to my NIN 37 but NIN is not even opened.

Still, just like THF, the best sub for WAR is not /NIN even though it is useful for many events. Most people think it makes taking hate from the tank ok. But taking hate from the tank is NOT ok even with /NIN so... my tongue to all you /NINers.

It's my belief that the best sub for WAR is /THF, especially if you are using a two-handed weapon because that extra guaranteed critical hit makes for a big bonus to TP if you use it that way. It also adds to overall damage for the round. Still, as Xellith keeps reminding me, a WAR without GAX is gimp, so I keep trudging along doing skill up to get my GAX up. But I don't believe using a B+ weapon is all that bad and, with Sushi, I get TP just as fast as the other DDs imo.

But leveling WAR is hard and waiting for a pt takes forever and usually I have to make the pts if I'm gonna go. Then, I have to put up with the usual "where's you /NIN?" banter. I think that's why I like JPs most is that even though they don't usually join gimp pts, once they are there, they are quiet.

In the picture, the boots I use made that clanking sound of someone in Plate-mail and it was also true of the Iron Musketeer's gear I had and for a little guy running around in Jeuno with platemail, I loved it. But sadly, the Warrior's AF feet gear doesn't make that sound and since it improves "Double-Attack" rate, there is no chance of using something else that would make the clanking sound I was so used to. I hope they update that in an update one day and bring back the platemail sound to platemail.

I sort of believe that /SAM would be a neat sub to level for WAR also and /DRK sounds interesting too. WAR is that one DD that with the right merits at 75 could use almost any sub and still beat the pants off of any level 74 DD.
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Well work is much more stable and life at the bar is boring so I guess I better go start some trouble. I need to re-install the game on my regular computer though and I am so slow at getting things I need done that I am playing on my old computer for now with tremendous lag to boot. Still, I like the idea of having a backup computer. Like so many things that have jarred me in my life, I like to be able to fall back on something simpler. I even have a spare car just for that purpose but I lent it to my little brother and he is driving it into the ground so I better get used to my one car for now I guess. It needs repairs.

I have 3 sets of equipment I use for my BLM. The first set is the "Resting MP" set. This includes the Errant body and legs, Arborist Nails, Antivenom Earring, Hierarch Belt, and Dark Staff which all give +MP while resting and is also not a bad gear to switch to if you have pulled too much hate(shame on you). Immediately after resting, I usually cast Stoneskin and Blink cuz after I switch out the belt I am gonna lose 48 mp and might as well use it up on these spells first. I will usually cast Baraera too since I hear that it helps Blink work better. Stoneskin works better with more MND so that's another reason to use it here.

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The second set is my Magic Accuracy Gear. You know what I mean? If you don't know then you must have just bought Weskit and your Uggalepih Pendant and are wondering WOW I got these Igquira Manillas for CHEAP and I am totally gonna own those mobs with my +18 MAB. Well I hope you brought MP for that, imo. MAB gear has it's uses and I might set up an equipment macro for that once I get my Pendant but for now I think it's at the bottom rank of useful gear. I use Demon's Cloak, Druid's Slops, Sorceror's Sabots, Diabolos Earring, Magnetic Earring, Penitent's Rope and Aquillo's Staff. To improve this gear up I need the Merciful Cape and Shadow Trews but that's a long way off to get that and btw "where's you linkshell HOHITO?" It wouldn't be bad to get that killer item from AV for the magic accuracy in the ranged slot and maybe an Omega Ring for its Macc. and -enmity. I am also gonna start saving for the level 30 earring which gives +3 elemental skill but that is a long way off. I would also like to get the Relic Staff. People say that it gives hidden effect of +10 MAB but who knows. Stormbringer is said to draw the VERY SOULS out of the people it slays so ... what's the difference if you ain't never gonna be able to tell. Even though I thought about saving for the relic GSD, I think that that staff is a must have for any KING of any world that has any business calling himself KING.
The third gear I use is for Sleeping and doing dark deeds like Aspir and Drain and Stun. It consists of Wizard's Coat(which I need to upgrade to +1 and then I can maybe get rid of Errant gear since pants don't help +MP while resting), Sorceror's Petasos, Wizard's Tonbon, Abyssal earring, Anrin Obi, and Dark Staff. I usually don't have too much trouble with sleeps since the body and hat give +enfeebling and the other parts of the body give bonuses to Dark Skill which help the spells' potency. I still would like to be able to use the Dark Torque to maybe up the gear a bit but I am out of money since I bought the Penitent's Rope and have really used up all my equipment in the process. Even the Magician's Earring that I thought was such a novelty and cost me 800k back in the day, I have sold it for 100k and the price is even lower now. But my WHM is top notch for what he does. I NEVER get hate and if someone dies while I am WHM, it's cuz they are pissing me off by pulling hate when they ain't supposed to. People like that stay in yellow hp in my pts.

Actually I have become a lot less hot-tempered in last couple of months or years. I feel like I have had my ass kicked but I don't know who did it or even who to be mad at. One thing I do know is that I am not crazy or wrong to be the way I am so... whatever.

Ok back to BLM, I always target my refresher in Dynamis. All it takes, if you ever played WHM, is to hit that little F1 button and hit auto-lock(* key) and poof you are near refresher and he doesn't have to come looking for you like you are at the top of his list of things to do. Refreshers tend to be sleepers in Dynamis btw. After you are near the refresher, keep stoneskin up and look for the statues. As /WHM you are slowbie BLM but that doesn't mean you can't be useful. As the statues do their march you can usually find one statues almost dead and a second one walking around with full MP. What your role is as part of the BLM group is to dampen the hits on the one BLM that has hate. The best way to do this is to Stun and then throw out a tier III spell. If you feel brave, like I usually do after all of this time doing this since 06, you can throw an AM spell on a statue and get ready to run. This is why it's so important to have Stoneskin, cuz if the mages are out of MP, and /RDM usually are, then you are gonna be running around for a while. If you are in Xarcabard, then Eyes are top priority cuz they don't move slow and they are just pounding the hapless BLM that forgot he was part of a group, usually me. For fun, I usually like to use the Assist macro to target the mobs that the melees are working on and if we have enough /RDM then using BLM with the melees is very useful if you are good at it and have done it a while. Your first experience with it however is gonna be Freeze II and mobs comes over and you start getting pummeled and 50 look at you like you are suicidal or just trying to ruin their day cuz they are all running around engaged on mob you pulled hate on. Not good. Leaders tend to not wanna raise you quite so quickly when you mess with them like this, even if you aren't intentionally "messing with" them. Just don't be stupid. I now have this down to where I only nuke on the PLDs and THFs and then only after they have hit Invincible or Perfect Dodge, so this makes speeds up the killing a great deal. I will sometimes help with MNK and RNG type mobs and stun them after they are at 50%. This gives the WHMs a chance to catch up on the tremendous dmg that these two jobs' two hours can do to the main tanks. I use one macro with Cure III on it. Your refresher is usually ever vigilant for mobs waking up and can't heal themselves so in return for keeping their MP up, you might get a refresh or a haste you didn't expect. Sleepers tend to go down alot and as I know well, not many vokers watch mobs and with BLMs watching their own butts and disregarding the RDMs altogether, refreshers are usually taking a lot of hits. Again stoneskin gives you and other people more time to cure you and is like having Master Chief at full armor slots. They really screwed the game when they took armor slots out of HALO but that's my opinion. I played HALO ad nauseum and even was able to finish it in Nightmare mode but Halo 2, I didn't finish the whole game even on regular. How does it end btw? HALO 3? Haven't bought it, not gonna. Shadowrun ftw. Of course this has nothing to do with the fact that I fell in love with my old girlfriend playing HALO on Cooperative. Nope. Nothing.

Also keep your mouth shut; nothing falls apart so quickly in Dynamis as do pulls of groups of mobs at the same time as soon as someone starts joking about their last HNMLS run or something. If you gotta say it keep it short. 60 people are listening and they would like to talk and shut you up but then there would be no time for Dynamis while I told you off and everyone got pissy. As a matter of fact it's rather arrogant for someone to talk like they know stuff and people in Dynamis are walking around with Relic weapons and Sky gear next to you like they don't have nothing to say. You should be free to joke and all but just don't start defending your point or something.
Also, MP management is key, you don't wanna be down without HP when they move to the next set of mobs that you have to THUNDAGA @ 1200. If you are at max HP then ok throw out your AM II and Tier IV spells but after you get low on MP you can still be effective by using Drain and Aspir and using Stun. Try to imagine one BLM running around with an eye on his tail and the rest of the BLMs resting for MP. One stun can save his life. It's better to be up with few MP than to be out and resting for 60% of the time. What I mean is if most BLMs are resting then choose to rest later when they are up. Blizzard III and IV are surprisingly efficient and very low on MP cost. With refresh going, you can do a great deal of dmg just waiting for those timers to come up.

I use Grammary Cape. If I would I would use more Magic Defense Bonus but this cape if far better than the Blue Cape I was using for added MP and to resist area of effect dmg(aoe) which btw is weak to FIRE and THUNDER! Who knew! Barfira notwithdstanding!

Well Im tired and I am late for the bar so for the past two hours I guess I have covered this month's events. I do plan to hook up with a girl one of these days I just have to not work at night and be more competitive or whatever. I usually win darts and stuff like that though and it's for my arrogance that my mouth is not so charming. To win you have to be mean but to charm you have to be great and not great in the face of others. I guess that's hard. Pride not arrogance, how?

Little Hohito's Billiards

2008-03-01T02:25:00.004-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

When does it get any easier? I install Vista and my whole system goes to hell. Here I am typing on my old computer cuz my new one is in the middle of having it's BIOS re-written once I get some time off from work and do that. That's like the same luck I am having with my car. Looks nice huh? If you want Audi read a couple of blogs back for my experience with mine.

In other news, I thought of joining an endgame linkshell so that I could have friends to help me with odd things like Cure Clogs or the Scirocco Kukri NMs, but the first thing they ask is if I can do Dynamis with them. Suddenly everyone is fascinated with Dynamis and wants the goods. Small wonder though since the gear is really top notch in most respects. I think they are just wanting to get started on their Relic Weapons and think people don't know that's what they're up to.

So I tell them I can't make their times which is smack dab in the afternoon when I work and they reject me. Hah! Well, that makes me wonder if looking for a linkshell is in my interests at all. I wonder if it's time to start my OWN linkshell. I might call it HOHITO'S PLACE.

Ya, I guess it would take some time to get people to accept being in a Hohito linkshell but hey, there would lots more to write about once I got like 10 people. The first thing I would set up is an escort. That old Uchipu had it right when she scrounged up the group and made a weekly bonding event like escorts and I have to agree that THAT would be the first thing I would get everyone ready for. Then I would have to get them through the Promys all the way to the Sacrarium so that they could do the second and third part of the escorts. It would be glorious. People would clap their hands. We could even do Assaults after for more hijinks.

Ya that's me big time dreamer. But hey you gotta think you can do it before you can plan to do it.

I'm gonna need a bigger radio

2008-02-22T00:07:00.003-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Yes it's true I'm a fan of Jodie Foster but not cuz of that Yale thing although I have "gone out" with someone that went there. And YES I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HV GONE THERE but I didn't.

I have always fancied myself "second best" of everything so Yale has always held some fascination for me. Like TOP GUN's Maverick, I fancy myself able to better the ghost. It represents what I should have done would that my drive would have held intact. I still have some few accoplishments I can manage but I think I am destined just to care for my parents and my little brother and sister even though one is rich and the other has WAY too fine a girlfriend, hah!

I still have some few nuggets of charm left.

I'm in Pensacola and am on my way to New Orleans to wish well my cousin's daughter at her wedding. It's once in a lifetime and nowadays I am really starting to pontificacize such things. Nice word huh? Same goes for diamonds. I used to think they were such a waste of money and I thought Rolexes were money better spent and hey for that matter why not buy her a nice car? But symbols, distinctive and piercing, are the way of a person or persons who do not want to be mistaken for someone everyday.

Do I long to be someone not normal? YOU BETCHA!

You just lost 6 shadows, wtf!

2008-02-19T03:10:00.009-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

This is a pic of me and buds that helped me get the Bahamut win. That Xuna is a very patient person. I did a Salvage and it went south towards the end and ended badly but we still got a lot of people and was a fun attempt. I can't say yet good or bad if we did a good enuf job or what but it is encouraging to see people trying to lead even if they ain't the experts everyone expects. More shouts would happen I think and people would get more done if people weren't so ready to put down people as gimp or unprepared and stuff. A great plan tomorrow is not as good as a good plan right now.

Well, things are doing well at work and for that I am glad. I caught this horrible fever of some sort this past weekend and I didn't do anything but sweat and fever and cool off and fever again and had just a miserable time. I know it must have had something to do with shopping at the Wal-Mart at 4am last week. I was recently sick anyhow and had not been taking my vitamins which I usually do so I suppose I earned it, but man that was a really bad sickness. I almost had to go to the doctor after the third day.

Online I have more merit points and got my Demon's Cloak which for me is the best body armor out there overall. I still need to save up for Penitent's Rope though and that is slow moving. I had 10k points saved up in Lebros and I thought, since no Precise Belts were up for sale, I would put one up and raise the price, good idea. Turns out, noone wants it. After 5 days, it's still up in AH. I would guess RNGs would be killing themselves for it but they tend to be the kind that spend on bullets so not a lot of spare cash I would guess, in retrospect. It would have been only 8k to get the Chivalrous Chain and people are buying that up all the time and I probably could have sold two of them buy now at the same price the Belt is going for. Well that's how you learn, by losing.

I took out my Dark Knight and am leveling him up for a spot. I want him to get up to a decent level but I don't know if I want to spend money on his equipment. Once he gets up a high enough level I was thinking it would be easier to have him use GAX maybe and not have to find skillup pts for WAR which is boring.

That reminds me, I just merited with a WAR/NIN and they can tank really good. I mean just as good as NIN imo! Some people suck at it it's true but still, that gives me hope of having a tank I can use at 75 soon. Now, to level the sub that I swore I would never level cuz it ws too expensive. Ninja.

How many merits4 that?

2008-01-29T05:00:00.001-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

It's always a good day to try to kill Bahamut. Here he is in all his glory. He wasn't so hard but I hear that the next version is much tougher. I saw someone doing a run for him today but we were only just able to get the cs for the slivers on Sunday so I wonder how they got through 3 promys in one day? Who knows. (edit: the next version is totally different thing, Apocalypse Nigh is the next fight which can be done with 6 people and is rather easy but fun. I did my 3 slivers in one day too so it wasn't so hard. Promys are CAKE now!)

I am about to go do a Beseiged and I am at a loss as to whether to finally get the Penitent's Rope or continue saving for my really cool item that I want that's far more money? I think I am just gonna get it and be done with it. That means that I will have to sell my Spectral Belt which gives the most -enmity of all belts, and my WHM will miss it, but -3 enmity ain't so bad with +5 INT and +5 MND.

Tonight I am going to do a Xarca run too so might as well get him ready early. I am maxed out in Elemental Skill (8 points) and in Ice Potency(5 points). Next in line is my Freeze 2 which I think needs only one more (3 points) to be maxed but I will need 5 merits for that one point.

I am getting along a lot better with my current manager than I was with my last one and I hope for great things from work but I am going to try to keep my mouth shut there. It's working out pretty good so far.

Man! I am SO sick from this cold. I feel awful. Even caffeine idnt helpin.

Well on the upside, my THF finally got Feint. Ya, ya, you guys cowed me into it. If the great THF leaders of our ls use it, it can't be all that bad. I used it in meripo tho and I can't say I noted the difference. But WOW is that Accomplice ability ever useful! I saved the WHM and the uber WAR many times when they had pulled too much hate or there was a link or something. I used it so much that I had to move it to the top of the Job Abilities list.

/poke :)

I need some help

2008-01-28T15:49:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Well I tried to get ready to head on up to the fourth level to get my slivers for the Bahamut Version 2 fight and oh ya I forgot about the NM at the end of each level so, pfft. I guess I will just have to wait for someone to offer up some Promys before I can get my slivers.

Nothing new in work but I have to say that I really overdid the drinking Friday and that night after yelling at my sister for really stupid reasons and getting kicked out of her house when she drove me, I caught a cold. It's so stupid. I even saw the old tattoo girl there that night and I gathered from her gaze that she wasn't all that un-interested anymore, but I was already too sloshed to make anything happen. I wish there were a coffee side item with a squirt of diet coke you could order. I also wish they wouldn't look at you like you were a fright kite when you ordered water with coffee. I got her number but actually now that I am checking my phone and my notes, it isn't there.

Oh well, the saving continues.

Good groupage!

2008-01-24T05:25:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

This is a group shot of some people that were in our old linkshell. We went to a wedding, online, of an honest to goodness married couple. I also got a group shot of the people that helped me with Bahamut but lazy me doesn't want to go retrieve those photos just now.

Still waiting for the next conquest tally coming up. I have tried going over to Ru'Lude Gardens for the second cutscene that will allow me to venture into the Promys for the appropriate slivers but no luck, I didn't get the cutscene.
I have Friday off but since I work Saturday early in the morning, I am not going to be able to go to Dynamis. I betcha that BLM belt drops too and I miss out. Oh well, if I wanted it bad enough, I would commit to it. That's probably what that girl is thinking who hasn't called me. I would call her but she lost her phone. I asked her about it but she walked away like she was unwilling to give me her new number. Whatever. I think I am reachin for her but I don't want her to have the pleasure of hearing me plead. So I haven't and that's that.
Half of me thinks I ain't tryin hard enough and the other half says just forget it, everyone else would.
So now I have maxed Ice ability and maxed Elemental Skill so my BLM is uber. My next goal is to get the BLM coat +1 and I am not to far off from that. When it happens I will just stop using Errant gear altogether for BLM. I still need the Temenos item though and about 14 more Ancient Beastcoins. It amazes me to see people with +1 BLM AF hat like that was worth it. Hah. Still, I can't say I am reaping the benefits of my Assassin's Armlets +1 since there aren't any that I can see so maybe I am goofy. I would like to get my hands on that Homam Corazza though. It is bad ass and though I don't believe in doing a lot of dmg as a THF since the job is angled towards evasion, I do believe that having triple attack and double attack maxed and haste gear in tow along with those is probably the direction I will take if I ever start working hard on THF stuff again. That Boxer's Mantle is TOP on my list of things to get too! That is MUST have! Some people would rather have +10 attack and to those I say meh think what you want. I also NEED to have Brutal Earring for my /war sub but "Boy, that's a lot of Ancient Beastcoins you need HOHITO, where's your Limbus linkshell?"
On a better note, I am getting healthier and staying sober and being with that last girl has made me feel more responsible and somewhat attractive. I know now that I need to get my own place and that I have to control things that are pleasurable including my drinking but I don't want to start taking risks and have nothing to fall back on cuz I don't feel like I have a whole lot of time left to pick myself up and try try again when I fail.

You can sit by me!

2008-01-22T02:23:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

This is me and that Ancient Quadav is the dealership that is working on my car tomorrow. [Insert evil laugh here]. Normally I wouldn't fret too much but I am now gonna be in the hands of the customer service manager and if he screws up my car I just don't know who to go to next. The nearest dealership is near Orlando which is about 2 hours away but I hope it doesn't come to that. I have a history of stepping on people's toes but that's normal for me since I need room to breathe but in this case room to breathe may end up in a lawsuit against the dealership, that is, if I knew what the hell I could blame them for except not doing their job which is to maybe fix my car... if they really want to...
This time next year I seriously need to learn to change my own oil. Owning a car shouldn't mean a visit to the mafia for their protection money. The worse part is I don't even know how to act. If I am super nice it comes across fake, and if I am my normal self, which right now to them I would be mean, I am a smart-ass. Even if I don't talk I feel like I am ignoring them and then that must be why they are pissed off.
Well, guys wish me luck.
In other news, screw Feint. Feint is for magpies. Have a nice day. Hello maxed ICE ability, woot! I was saving my merits for Feint but getting THF/WAR invited to Dynamis when the leader is THF/NIN is like asking your momma if daddy could cook this time. So, so much for my THF and maxing out his ability for Dynamis, BLM's Ice ability is going to get much more use and in fact when I get some more merits, I'm gonna max out Freeze II next. One of my old online pals just came back and he was pting with me and this other guy last night. We had a pretty good time of it in Caederva Mire. We were going at chain#17 or so and we really could have just kept on going. We has like the whole eastern half of the main area to ourselves and boy did we blow through some mobs. It was easy pickins and low exp per mob but we still managed 25k or so exp before we were done. I was using my WHM and we had WHM RDM NIN MNK MNK SAM.
Earlier that day I had been trying to get AM 44 out of the way but that is a very tough fight. AM 42 was rather difficult and we did that first thing and I was very surprised by the Supertank strategy used for that fight. I had tried that once before but the PLD must not have listened to me and he up and Flashed the mob and whole alliance went to hell inside of 3minutes. That was the last time I try to get an alliance for somethin. Still, after beating AM42 we were lucky enough to get several tries at AM44 Nashmeira's Plea. This fight involves Raubhan. He is a BLU that will remember what you hit him with and will reraise twice. If you hit him with overall melee damage during the first two fights, he will be IMMUNE to melee damage on the third fight. We died several times. We just coudn't stun his Eyes on Me move enough times. When he did his Azure Lore 2hr, Eyes on Me was deadly. I could point fingers but I will just say we had a tough time. I was BLM in that one.
Later, I hear someone doing the Bahamut fight and I join up and sure enough we get the full alliance out there. This fight is so ominous that we decided before hand to do a dry run. When you click the green displacement area, you get thrown right into the fight and you get 45 min to win so the leader didn't get her chance to go over the battle plan. I suggest a dry run where noone uses their 2hrs so as to save them for the real attempt ahead and we all go in. Well as it turns out, we were doing great damage and the healers were doing outstanding in keeping the tanks healed. Don't ask me cuz all I was doing was throwing out the mega spells till I was out and then I noticed Bahamut was at like 30% and I was like "2hr" to which the response was " yes yes yes yes , etc. So 2 Blizzaga IIIs later he was down and we were like woo hoo! The downside was that it was Sunday so we go over to Monarch Linn, take a group shot, go to Ru'Lude Gardens, get the cs with Ealdnarcht or w/e and then find out that after the next conquest tally is when she will give next cs. A week later! Conquest update is Sunday mornings! So bally hoo and on I go to find something to do other than drink cuz I drank too much Saturday on my day off and no girl.
I decide to start looking for that danged Warhorse hoofprint. I checked last week in the JP website and it says that it was in Caederva Mire then. I asked about 3 days ago in a shout and someone said it was in Wajoam Woodlands. Therefore, I decide that the best course of action is to chocobo it through Bhauflau Thickets. If it was in Caederva Mire or in Mamool Ja area I was just gonna be out of luck. Can you believe it! I find it not less than 5 minutes after and sure enuf I pop the Quartz Transmitter on it and [Walah Turban], I am Corporal rank.
It was after this that I almost fall asleep and find two NA guys lfp and I ask them and then I get the rest. I was real lucky with the RDM though, since he was WHM at first I was ok with just doin 2 WHM party and healing mp etc but then he changed to RDM and really it was easy meripo from there out. I told the one guy in /tell that those JP don't like to give in cuz he was NIN but he was looking to merit for a long time. I explaind that in my experience they won't be the first ones to say quit. That's what I like about them though is that they are SO proper. Unlike some monkey people I won't mention that we all know about that are not Japanese but are conspicuously just as alien and probably don't smell so good cuz they got manners that compete with their food.
My parents keep naggin me to get a wife from Central America and those woman are very hard-working but in fact I feel that a Japanese woman would be best in class if you get me. Especially if she had JP button! :O

Audi 190hp whoas

2008-01-17T04:30:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Well I have finally maxed out my merits in Elemental Skill and I have enough merits to get that one ability they all find so useful, Feint. It's strange that they don't want too much DOT going on in Dynamis but Frost is the same exact thing as Feint and can be cast non-stop on mobs. I guess the hard part is making sure noone DOTs one of the slept ones.

I leveled my WAR a bit today and he is still using his nice GSD but it always surprises me how fast people will open their mouths in exp parties like before we even get started. How are people supposed to try hard when people go, nice /thf sub, where's your /nin? One JP responded to the crack that there would be a serious loss in attack like -20 or something and the guy just shut up and she was allowed to stay. NAs really are better off not talking to JPs about stats cuz they just come across as stupid. We were in a RDM> DD/NIN pt though and we were supposed to be saving MP by taking hits through the shadows. Well in stride I ask if I can /whm since that would help with curing and add Blink but they just sed no. With AF and Divine Seal I would have at least halved the MP spent by the RDM but NO... war/whm is just too stupid-looking to be allowed a chance even in specialty party where noone is making any sense. The RDM spent about half an hour curing the crap out of us as hate went everywhere, (ie. no tank) and I almost never got off a Sneak Attack at all because the mob was always moving. Well, in retrospect he probably blames me for the RDM quitting but /whm would have worked in that group!

At work I got a low score on one of my monitorings from my new boss but I am sure it is because I took a day off recently with pay. The company hates it when you do that and it's understandable.

The Audi dealership just did service on my car and after returning it , the Check Engine light came on. I told them it ws perhaps their fault but they disagreed. Then they asked me to pay for the diagnostic to find out what the real problem was and then they found a problem that costs $400 to fix. So I paid it and counted my blessings I guess that they weren't REAL goofballs about the whole thing. By paying, I supposed that my assuming it was their fault(for the last 8 months there has been no CHECK ENGINE light on> how could it POSSIBLY NOT be their fault since they just did service on it) had perhaps rubbed their feathers the wrong way a little bit. My guess actually is that they needed their "protection" money cuz they came out with recommendations and I rejected all of them cuz I wasn't ready to spend. Well they MADE me ready to spend! So I paid them and got my car somewhat better and with new oil and some new hoses that were very hard to get to and hey that costs money.

Today, the check engine light is on again. :(

What a racket! I just recently wrote how they messed up my car too. I should have left them alone but I am so forgiving, I thought if I go in there and pretend I am a new customer maybe they will start fresh and do a good job but no. I am not sure what they want but I AM sure they don't wanna see me again as a customer.

the Crag of dem

2008-01-11T14:31:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

I am supposed to meet with my Adventuring Fellow in one of the Crags for her next upgrade but I have to pull her out and use her more often for that to happen. It's slow going.
Last night, I was able to re-unite with old friends in Karaoke. This one girl looks so hot she is like a mack truck when she looks at you. She sings good and hunts her man and may drink a lot but never quits. She is cool. I have her number too so I plan on calling her. I even told her last night that I would and she sed ok. I can only hope I guess but hey I better keep that old date truck rolling if I even want to have sex again. Sometimes it seems so tedious to me.
At work I am with a new manager but my old manager still managed to cough up two more zeroes as like a goodbye gift to me. It used to be so ominous to me to have 3 months in a row of bad quality and now I am up to like 5. Conclusion is ... upper management must realize he is fat cow belly dancer manager. Hah!
There are two kinds of people in the world, people that want to be productive and get paid for it, and those that want to appear to be productive and get more pay. That's all I have to say about that.
With my new manager I plan to do better but they did just train me in a new area so I hope they will abide with me until I am up to par on the new material. She is so fresh and young and the people are so new that I makes me want to help them somehow, but I am still going to keep my mouth shut. I know that saying the wrong thing, no matter how well intentioned, is unforgivable.
I still miss tattoo girl. I don't care if she punted me like yesterday's trailer hefty, I want in! I texted her last night but I don't expect her to ever call me again. I talked at length with a buddy last night and he recommended I move out. I really need to I guess. He is so intelligent and outgoing that I admire the crap out of him. I wish I could be like that. He also gets laid more, hence the admiration. It's better to get back with your old buddies after a break.
Dem's da breaks.

Twinkle toes

2008-01-10T04:03:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Whelp, I decided not to take the plunge and so I am not going to move out after all. I figure, like many Spanish guys often do, that it's best to stay home till I have a reason to move out. If the girl works out and all then fantastic, I will get a place for us and we zoom, zoom, to the next room. But if she is just a fling, I don't wanna land myself into house payments that take all my extra money and blow it to the wind. Besides there's a lot of money there I could be spending on gifts and crap. I could barely afford beer if I lived on my own. (No not really!)

So now I am truly confused as to what step to take next in life.

Time to zone out in the Auction House I guess. Sometimes I could swear that someone is watching from their computer as I shop, learning my secrets.

I'm just paranoid I guess.

Today I had my car repaired and they found that the wheel was bent. How does a wheel get bent?

Just say no to crabs

2008-01-07T12:28:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Well it was time to get all of my weapons that were B rated up to par for my war and this is a pic of me doing it in Qufim. You can take most of your weapons to skill 80 or so in this area by the way and the skillups are not so slow that you can't start them from zero even. Obviously, the big drawback is the time it takes to skill up and two handed weapons skill up much slower than the one handed. But the upside is that it's cool to see the messages pop up that say "Hohito learns flat blade!"
Hohito does learn even if it takes him a while.
Hohito also shaves.

Time to take the plunge

2008-01-07T02:16:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

It's time to make some waves. I brought the "what'shername" girl home,(I call her that cuz if she can't speak to me with respect I won't claim I am proud to be with her) and me and my father starting having problems. I know it's his house and all but please! How does having a little 110 pound girl bouncing around on my bed create problems?
Well, it got really bad. She happens to have a lot of tattoos and a bunch of stickers on her car and when I confided to my Dad that I didn't altogether trust her completely, he went ballistic and started ranting about how her guy friends were gonna walk in here and kill us and help themselves to our nice stuff.
Next day, I get kicked out.
I have to say I was a little shocked. But then I decided it was about time and hey this is as good an excuse as any and now I have to live on my own for a while. I guess it was about time. Funny thing is I could give 2 chits about what the price of Seraweels are nowadays. I have a million things to prepare for the coming week when I move out. OH boy what a new year this is gonna be!

WHATDAYAMEAN!

2007-12-26T15:28:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

I am undone! O whoa betide those who follow in my wake for they will feel the wash of acid and blood in their nostrils as they struggle for their last breath.

Thankfully, I am a little more in control of myself than most give me credit for. This girl has been pulling and pushing my buttons all over the place but you know the best thing you can do to re-focus on what is important is to call someone else. Your friends keep you from being powerless. It helped that it was Christmas too cuz it gave me an excuse to call people.

This picture reminds me of what I feel like next to a girl full of experience, insensitive, uncaring, powerful, exciting, and packed with armor. Nice name too! Problem is dare I look at her? Meh, at least she's warm.

Tomorrow I am going to wait for her to call me and if she does I am breaking up with her. This one was at least one step better than the last. But in the end, she was unwilling to kiss me goodnight but still wants me to call her? What's that?

I have almost enough money for the Serawheels and I have sold my Slops so that I will finally have enough to buy them but the trouble is now I have no pants. WAIT! I have no pants? Who said that?!

Have you seen a Farkiller?

2007-12-24T01:35:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

I was looking to kill some Farkillers for the Davoi coffer key here but all I got was deh moneh! I guess I have to be a full BLM to get that done correctly so that it drops the Wizard's Coat I want. I didn't want it before cuz throwing out blind and sleep during exp is like casting cure spells.
WTHAYDYGFNBLM!
But now that I know that sleep spells are enfeebling and that I use them a lot and especially now that I have an Abyssmal Earring from my recent Divine Might win, I want them.
I have a new girl spending time with me. She is the same girl I mentioned earlier that was on again off again liking me and now we are spending a litttle more time together.
Cheers to the future!
At work they have trained me with some new material so that I can more closely do the work that my peers. That's a good sign. After the new year I expect to have a whole new gob of vacation time and can't wait to use it. I expect to go to Atlanta to a concert in Feb even with this new girl so I better get cracking and make sure I can get those few days off that I need.
Merry Christmas all and may 2008 bring you good fortune!

Just in time inventory

2007-12-22T12:16:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

I love blowing things up. Especially lizards.
Last night I had another bout with a girl that seems to like me but in retrospect is probably wondering why I get so plastered all of the time. She is hard to figure out but she is good looking in a dark, unsympathetic kind of way.
Today I went out with some buddies and got my Earring.
I got the Abyssal Earring for my BLM but perhaps should have gotten Suppanomimi and begun leveling my NIN. Instead, I am going to level my DRK and use my Abyssal for him in a couple of years when he is 70+ or so.
We killed the Dynamis Lord last night without too much worry. I am razor thin close to deleveling again and need to stack up some buffer in there for that sake. I did manage to get another merit in Elemental Skill recently though so that takes me to within one skill pt of the max. It's weird but I am sure that my Diabolos Earring is better than the Abyssal cuz it gives +2 Magic Acc in Dynamis which is where I usually use my BLM, but to use it WITH the Abyssal would mean having to give up my Moldavite and I am not doin that. What I will end up doin is switchin it in during my sleep equip macro where I max out my Enfeebling and Dark skill gear.
I wish I would have gotten my coat and tonban gear long ago cuz I feel like using it with my new hat and earring for a Sleep macro. The coat gives +enfeebling and the tonban gives +dark so both of those along with the Dark Staff and my new Dark Torque and my Anrin Obi in Dynamis should have me sleepin stuff all over the place.
I am running out of space though as I add stuff. I just bought my WAR some new weapons so that he can keep his Great Axe, Scythe, Polearm, Sword and Club skill all at max as he levels. The problem is catching up the skill to 200 is gonna take forever with all those weps.
Last night I missed my chance to lot WAR equip in Xarca cuz we had to regroup our pt while the leader was sending shout and I missed it, but since WAR is so far away from 70, I was ok with it.
I betcha I regret not lotting it later though.

The wise guy

2007-12-20T13:32:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

This is me talking to my cousin. She is a very hot babe with many affable qualities but the thing that is most intereting about her is her drive. She is very non-stop about everything she does. It's funny I don't consider myself in the same league as her even though she is not educated or rich or anything.

This is perhaps what she would actually look like too. The long black hair, long legs, and ivory white skin remind me of another person I have spent a lot of time in love with. I think it was because of her that I found my cousin so "unattainable".

And this is what I actually look like standing next to them... with my shortness, my maxed out DEX, and my uber armor that is in fact weak to fire and thunder. Even the bonnet is appropriate cuz I'm such a wuss when it comes to being selfish with women.

Don't I look smart?

ps."HELLO! SHE'S YOUR COUSIN!!!"

Welcome to the club

2007-12-18T02:54:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:75 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:62 RNG:44

Well this is my WHM before I got my nifty Healing Mitts over the weekend. I had planned to go back and get my Wizard's Coat and Wizard's Tonban and Healer's Mitts this weekend. I knew I could solo stuff real easy now with my THF/WHM being so uber now. He has a full 350mp or so with just /WHM and some gear. He does really good against most mobs up to level 65 or so. The problem I had however was that I didn't anticipate the quest ring thing. Apparently, and this after killing several Orc Farkillers on my own, the coffer in Davoi drops deh monah, instead of the coat I ws expecting.
This should have seemed odd except that I think the fact that my WHM gloves are up for Boghartz quest, that all coffers are geared towards my WHM now. Sure enough, I head off to Beadeaux and hit up some Platinum and Ancient Quadavs and, after one death cuz stupid me likes to test fate and aggro a Quadav near another after I got the key and just needed to get to the next room and was saving Silent Oils, finally get my old mitts.
The next day I head off as WHM/THF to what I think is gonna be a difficult mission against that Dark Elemental Dark Spark. Yeah, I'm thinking level 40, get my anti magic gear on, Barblindra or whatever and I even solo some of the Demons and click the ??? and... nothing happens.
Doh.
Well, that's cuz the danged ??? was for the BLM wand, so then I realize that and go into the Grand Palace of Hu.xoi or whatever and coincidentally some people are on the way to fight Dark Spark and I hit them up for it and they go for it! Yay!
There was a 75 SMN there and he totally owned it too. The Garuda avatar did like 1700 or so dmg per hit from Predator Claw and then I realized that I would have been there forever killing that thing. But I was lucky and now I have even MORE -enmity. I am so full of -enmity now that I bet I could even bounce out of Benediction if I had too. The sad fact is though that Blessed Mitts are better cuz of Haste and MP and MND+ but so what, if it doesn't match my snazzy Relic gear then Blessed Mitts go [That way.] In this picture I have on Devotee's Mitts which is what I have been using. [pause] Yeah I know!
So now I am moving on to my WAR. The fact is I have a great GSD for him but he is B+ on GSD so he still makes me want to buy more ACC gear even though he is probably doing best he can for his skill. I leveled him in a party with this out of the world DRG with god-knows what gear cuz he was doing Penta like it was going out of style. That's good though cuz my WAR has 2 pieces of AF that give him +2 enmity total and is totally not good for a DD. Still, I was able to pull off some decent Critical Hits that gave major TP if I used Sneak Attack separate so I started doing that and I kept up with the MNK and was able to close the skillchain, even if it wasn't for much damage. I think they were pretty impressed after the party was over. I have the lowest delay GSD there is and with the strap I have on it it goes even lower. I guarantee that I probably have the most dmg:second weapon of the GSD class now but still with that B+ skill, it makes me wanna get my DRK up to level 60 as soon as I can.
I think for my next party I might try WAR/RNG. They had me pulling this time anyway and I could use the extra accuracy at this level. I have to say though that my sharpshot and critical hits will be missed and I doubt that I will make up for the D skill in Racc by just subbing /RNG. I wanna level my Scythe and Polearm also but that takes so danged long and it is so boring to skill up that I don't think I wanna wait. Still leveling to 200 is pretty easy if I can just do it and then up all the levels with WAR up to 75 to max. My club is already at 200 and I can easily use Club for some fights and keep that up along with GSD and GAX to 75. Hope those parties are ready for multi-weaponed WAR... without AXE leveled that is.

"Hey, there no club in RAMPAGE?!"

Where am I? OMG.

2007-12-10T10:37:00.001-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I almost finished getting my WHM to 75. It's much easier to get invites as a WHM I have to say. I probably am just gonna start meriting like crazy as WHM and first things first and that is to get Protectra V and up its protect ability. I really dislike partying with NINs tho. Even though I save a lot of MP, the radicalness of having to heal for NINs is really unpleasant, nevermind the shame of having the NIN die with you as a full WHM not able to heal fast enough, bah! The other day I was counting shadows as I often do so that I can time a Flash at least once in the battle so that the NIN is able to recast his shadows without interruption and then I got lazy or started to eat something. I look away for just a second and poof the NIN is down in the red with no shadows and almost dies. Man! But with just a little practice I can even handle three mobs in emergencies. With the gear I have I can usually Divine Seal + Curaga II and get any problems back under control. I keep forgetting to buy that new Sleep spell or whatever.

Even though I like my other jobs, I reallly enjoy WHM now with his good Dynamis gear. I owe my dynamis ls so much. I answered a shout for people that had sky/sea access and at least one 75 and found myself going off to farm stuff for sky. It was neat but it felt a little weird. I totally don't trust these people and since they weren't forthcoming with knowledge about sky, I could tell something was amiss. When people aren't open with knowledge, I can tell they have misgivings about me. Usually I am the one that knows it all but sky is something I am totally new to. The leader said during the run that she was gonna lot all of the Kindred's Seals so that she could do a KSNM99 run so that the linkshell could have money. I pause as I watch her lot the KS and wonder if I plan on staying with them that long, Later on, after a lot of farming, they start talking about how they are gonna raise money for a dynamis run. I am like "WHOA! I can't be part of this ls if yall do dynamis and they are like all that's ok it will be under a different shell. They are really all so young sounding and new. I am like the only other rank10 person in the thing. I don't mind helping and maybe getting some sky gear but I am actually not very fond of the people yet. The leader seems to know a lot about sky but she is obviosuly from another server or something and it sounds like she left a successful sky ls. Still, I can't fault her for wanting to start something from scratch. But I never connect what I feel with what the facts are. We went to sky, with my TH4 in tow, and farmed and as soon as we got there, one guy had to do personal stuff but stayed in grp and earned exp for free. Another guy, probably the smart one, left altogether. And the leader, though she led us around not knowing where the monsters spawned, finally got us to where we needed to go and proceeded to write rules and regs of ls, while we farmed. This included not refreshing the PLD and letting the WHM do most of the healing. Coincidentally, she was asking advice from the other guy that was afk who after we booted him came back online minutes after we booted him.

So NO I am not suspicious of whether or not my money is going to be handled by responsible people!

It did give me the gumption to start my own linkshell however, and seeing the good people in there who were there farming with us not getting anything out of it gave me hope and made putting up with the others worth it. But I have no idea what I the function of it would be. I would so like to start one with someone from dynamis but I don't wanna trust people I barely know. Plus it would feel weird leading a grp and having smarter people follow me. Moreover, I expect I have nowhere near as much time now as I used to. But once a week I could plan something and leave it in linkshell chat. Maybe a BCNM or a KSNM linkshell would be a good way to start. I would have to have hours of operation I guess. I also would have to restrain myself from kicking people for almost no reason whatsoever. That might be hard.

It's good to see my personality getting back to normal though. I find myself much calmer and anytime I feel like leading stuff, that's a good sign. I won't be doing anything like that soon tho.

I have spent a lot of time away from my old poker friends and I guess those friendships are getting strained. I don't have a lot of spare time anymore so there's not a lot I can do there. I do try to make it to Dynamis and though I sign on late, I feel I contribute much more now cuz I am still wired from work. There is like ZERO percent chance of me falling asleep now esp since I am showing up late. And coincidentally, when a lot of people feel like leaving, I show up so it's a good balance in that sense.

I need to do some BCNMs soon but I never get any responses from people for that. It seems people don't wanna do those anymore. I do see ODS(KS30 Operation Desert Swarm) shouts though. The only other thing that I can do for money is sell my conquest points for armor and I did that and now I'm out of those points. I need to start making sushi too cuz I am down to 8 sushi after our farming session in sky. The best thing about the farming session was that they were still IT mobs which makes them primo good for meriting if I ever find my way around in that place. I need to get the map for that place one of these days.

I am on Aht Urghan Mission 34 Testing the Waters and part of what you will need for the fight is to get another Ephramadian Coin from a tomb near Nashmau. Yesterday, after a failed attempt to get a merit party together, the same guy sends a shout that he is on AM34 and I am like wow let's go do this! But sadly, we were the only ones in the pt for like an hour and got no responses. Later, after I got out of the shower, I saw that he had followed my advice and went to Nashmau and for a moment I thought of telling him exactly where to go since I had recently been there myself and had to find the tomb but then I thought I might be buggin him with stuff he already knew. A little later he gets aggro and dies. Had I talked to him at all, I would have saved him from that but I just assumed he knew what to do.

I recently finished getting the points I needed for my Pahluwan Seraweels and they look cool with my Blue Cotehardie. They are just a little bit different in color though but that's ok cuz I'm slightly colorblind. I find myself not wanting to do Assaults though cuz I don't really want to start on another 20k item. It takes too long plus I am running out of space. I need to get my WAR up in levels so that he can use the Hauberk I wanna buy him.

I also want to get my Relic GSD. I realize I am all back of the bus in the Dynamis Group but I believe that we should keep the relics coming. After all we don't see any of the money that they get from the coins that drop so why not get all those charter members their relics. I personally think Heretic is a great choice for relic and Krystm too cuz they have done a LOT for the ls. Eventually, even Xellith should get relic one day. I would like to see him start up his old ls maybe but without the mouth part. It's like I have said many times though, you can't have a lot of energy without having a lot of arsehole in you. Maybe that's part of my problem? When I calm down and not give a damn about things I become quite sociable. I get along with everybody, even monkeys gotta clap! But you gotta take the good with the bad. I have seen the Dynamis leader lose it and make me wonder what I saw in him. I have had discussions with Xellith that made me want to insult him but meh he's probably just a kid. Often, even with your wife or gf the problem you have is not so much that you don't listen, it's that there is the whole "winning the argument" issue of discussing things. You can't say "I see" if you don't feel the person heard what you said. So it is with friends or idiots or whatever when they dont listen and wanna draw you out of your hole so everyone can see. You aren't there to edify this individual about how he is " a pontificate portrait of bovine excrement", you are there to win the discussion which has ceased to be useful. So when something like this happens in the linkshell, go /mute, cuz when people get into stickfights, both parties get bruised. Stonesfights too!

I just saw Vanilla Sky for like the umpteenth time and it's amazing how much I like finding new things in that movie. Obviously the main idea is to retake your life and make choices and live free without the training wheels but some parts of it I missed. This last time I saw him leaving the room from where he killed Sophia and he saw himself and he had his old beatup face in the mirror which puzzled me cuz where was he going if not to jail where he would have his fixed up face again? Or maybe it was just his reflection? Dunno.

Reign of Fire is another movie that I watch over and over again. It's amazing how much in common the two men have, both huge and ogre-like in their methods of leadership but one is the protector and one is the killer. It's obvious that the killer has more energy and is in fact more dangerous but they say in the movie that "he doesn't feel things the way you and I do, that's the only way he can do what he does." So to be a killer makes you unable to lead children. And also, to lead children makes you unable to kill things. Well, I guess that's one opinion. Notice that woman though? She is drawn by both men. One seems unattainable and the other seems like a miracle.

Walking on the edge

2007-12-05T15:35:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

As you can tell by my levels as they sit there at the same number for months on end, I don't play that much anymore. I used to like to get things done like missions and BCNMs and stuff but not really all that much anymore. I DO like to work on things like Assaults and farming. My next big goal is to get that mission done for my NPC in the Promyvion but I keep forgetting about that when I get online. I finally finished my Zilart Missions but found the applause hollow. It would have been more fun to do it with a linkshell.

At work I have found the way to keep the demons from tormenting me. I just use my handy-dandy Demon Mask +1. It's +1 cuz it not only gets them to stop their crap but it also makes them feel like monkeys in the process. It's funny that I never related to stupid people quite so closely as I do now. In the past I would always wonder at why berating others was so much fun when there was so much other stuff to do. But, for stupid people, there isn't a whole lot to do. What are you gonna do read? You're stupid, and stupid is as stupid does. Nevermind trying to explain what respect is or manners are to an oaf. In the end it must be me though that blinds them from believing they belong or something and so they gang up against me and make me feel the same way I guess.

I would like to write about the good times I have had at the bar recently but I can't since I haven't drank hardly at all for like a month. The sad part of that is that the serious change of habits has traumatized my kidney I think. It burns all of the time now. But I do sleep like a baby now and have started to have deep dreams. This is something I haven't had in like a decade. It's weird cuz in the old days I would only have dreams when I was seriously stressed or something and now I get them every night.

I have begun to want to play the piano again. I feel it is so unsociable though. My last girlfriend scoffed at me one time that I started to practice while she was around so I never picked it up again, believing that to play the piano is to want to be unsociable or vain. Still, if you are gonna be alone, you are gonna need music.

... and I can hear people laughing.

2007-11-18T11:41:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I wonder at how long it will take for me to finally find the one. In time, most things come to fruition thru determination and application. Last night, which was my only night off, I went out and sat there with my sister looking for someone interesting to talk to and I found that girl there that I liked and she just sat there talking to everyone else but sitting next to me. I would talk to her and she would respond with little interest like I was bothering her. I don't know what to make of it. I would rather not have my charisma messed up like that cuz most people are friendly and nice when they talk to me and that girl was just messing up my friendliness. Why?
I better start leveling up Dark Knight. I DO love to play Shadowrun though. It's a shame I haven't bought Halo 3 though. I need to do that soon I guess. Today would be a good day to play it since I am off but I kind of want to get online and do the Celestial Nexus mission and get the Zilart Missions out of the way. I use FFXI Encyclopedia and that along with Allakhazam are a stockpile of resources to use.
It's funny that I used to like to update my blog but everything I do gets scarred. This blog is scarred, my car is keyed, my sound on my computer doesn't work, my other computer has had it's IP address reset I don't know how, even my job is like a living nightmare, I wonder if everyone lives like this. But, you know what? The saving continues.

It's cold and dark...

2007-11-16T14:02:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Alone. This is what I am used to. Time that I have spent alone has taught me to relish profusely the time I spend with someone meaningful. I believe it is better to have no time spent with someone disrespectful than to spend some time with many such people. There are two types of people in this world and I know you guys hear that a lot but it's true. There are some that value their reputation and those that wanna fake it enough until they can point out who the weakest link is, that's not THEM. Without explaining what I mean too mucb, suffice it to say that most people tend to want to speak the truth all of the time and use their minds to put their best step into motion. Some few people though like to use masks, create mistrust, use bs to lend an ear to a person's misgivings about a certain subject. YOu know what I mean? They like to yank people's chains just to see how mad they get.

Well I don't get along very well with people of that sort. It is funny ina sense though cuz if you are high energy you are constantly doing things and hey, wouldn't it be fun to mess with people who were slower. Sometimes I wonder about this and it gives me pause. Whole movies are devoted to "heroes" defeating the zombies that are trying to kill them and it makes me wonder if I too, am supposed to be outdoing and besting all of the "slower" types.

So there it is. You can lead by example and hope people will follow you, or, you can "eat" them, lol, hope your hungry!

In the game I have not had a lot of time to play now since I am now working full time again. It's fun cuz I feel I have more energy and am way more tired now. it's healthier I think. It's too bad people at work are such muckarucks. I tell them how to improve stuff and they send me errors for stupid stuff. I tell people what is professional and I become the "defiler". I mention one thing about people in general and they all rain down on me like I should be burned. I mean I don't intend to have people rain hell on me, but they do.

Well, I get used to it I guess. Eventually I will just have to go. But I have become more accustomed to full-time which if I have to find a new job, at least it won't overwhelm me. It certainly won't tax me intellectually cuz right now I work with a bunch of monkeys. Well I better be nice or somehow someone there is going to read this and I will be left wondering why people don't like me.

The job is easy enough though and the schedule is so late in the night that I actually get a good hour or two of quiet around me where I don't have to listen to other people except for the customer. I am so audacious sometimes that I wonder that I am not better accepted.

The reality is though that my personality is such a nice guy-jerk guy type that I always end up with people raining crap on me even though I don't mean for that to happen. It's only of late that I have realized this. I used to just think oh well people can't handle my personality need to move on but how to change my personality? I don't know. How can people be nice all of the time? Shouldn't everyone have their ups and downs?

I used to be so interested on how to improve things. All I find myself saying nowadays is "I don't care".

I have begun writing letters to this girl in Costa Rica. It's was my mother's idea and it is rather interesting keeping up with her life but the downside is having to wait for her to respond. I might just give that up cuz I don't even know what she looks like and I like her. That's just wrong.

The Saving continues

2007-11-12T01:28:00.000-05:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I took off to come see a game here in Tennessee and whatdaya know, we won. Unfortunately, I was unable to get online to go to Dynamis on Friday but I so rarely get to have a vacation that I figured it was worth it.

I have a new schedule now that puts me in a bind with Dynamis now but I will manage it.

I haven't been playing much at all lately and the lack of drinking has really destabilized my body. I feel sick all of the time and I have a nagging "cold" spot where my kidney normally is.

I hope it's not serious. I expect it will go away soon though as long as I keep drinking normally for a change. I now drink like only once a week and can't even get drunk then cuz I work the next day. That's supposed to be a good thing but man my body is paying the price for it.

I had enough money to finally get the Seraweels and what did I do? I bought a Gully +1. Sorry but I just HAD to have it. Oh well, the saving continues.

A man of peace

2007-10-26T10:53:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44
You would never guess this by looking at me but I understand the concept of phaser guns and how to make them. I can tell you how we are going to get to the next universe and when Venus could perhaps become inhabitable. I even know a lot about Hurrincane Katrina. As it happens, being the shower releases your mind from having to think a certain way. You become free to sing even if don't normally. Your senses, become numb, and your mind all the more active because of it. It's in the shower that I get ideas and fantasize about what could be.
Always I have pondered the balances of good and evil, of light and of dark. You would think that being courageous is a good trait as is the idea of peace, but those ideas are at odds. So there you go. So much for being smart. The best and smartest and toughest and strongest and most popular person may have NO IDEA what right and wrong is to you and me.
I just got out the shower and was thinking ominously about my new schedule next week that will be full time. With more energy spent I should be more healthy and more happy but what if I have to go thru 5 days of oppression at work instead?
So long ago, I could have chosen to not wait for something better, but now I feel I may have waited too long.
I know what you are thinking is that old saying about "if you are warm, etc. etc."

Small moves Elle

2007-10-23T17:04:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Well noone sed leveling DRK was gonna be pretty. Like BLM, DRK is like a jalopy of skills that not many ppl will appreciate fully esp if they consider that you wl need refresh and may not land any spells and are gonna miss your hits for pert near your first 30 levels.
The worst part though is that subligar!
I think I might level GAX though while I am at it since GSD is already leveled due to my WAR.
I will go full time but I hate the fact that I am leaving behind my chance to get more school. I think that I can improve my relations at work but what if I can't? Should I diving headlong into a fray of uglies at my own expense? Negotiating a part-time schedule will never happen for me again. Should I relent to the species of my downfall?
I should I go up or down?
I choose middle!

Hope is for poets

2007-10-22T17:54:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I wrote something to myself earlier this week in my little post its. I keep writing to myself in an effort to keep myself from believing that I am a Paladin in hell. Hope but don't expect. It's funny but the more I expect stuff to be true the weaker I am to it being false. The more afraid I am of it changing and as a point of pleasure would rather it not be true. As such, love for me is doomed to failure if I don't actually hope for it. But am too much of an intellectual to leave things like that to chance. Just the other night this girl I know, right out of the blue pulls me over to leave the bar with her and I am thinking to myself, finally, some guts. But what we ended up doing was going into a limo with some people I had never seen before. Well, I wasn't about to go off with people I didn't know! I may be a man but I run with chicken legs! Had I talked to them all night like she did, I might have trusted them more but I barely got to talk to her at all so I was completely surprised by this. I know what you guys are thinking, "what were you expecting Mr. Hohito?" Well as always, I expect to go off somewhere and talk some more even if there is no hookup or whatever. But this was too much for me.

The next time I saw her she was in clearly a different mood and I doubt we will talk very often from now on.

But that's part of my problem, I like to expect things too much. I like to pre-determine. I like to pay for it. DOH! Well, not exactly but I do like to have things easy to understand. If I was high on power and ruthlessness I might like to try this or that with people's feelings but I have always regarded my charisma with some sense of responsibility. So as a rule, I don't jack off with people.

My schedule is changing and now I am going to work full-time again. This means that all hope of going off to Law School or whatnot, which was the reason for my going part-time, is up in smoke. Not only that, I am going to work nights. Nights is when the losers work. If you ever find yourself in the corporate world, and you are ambitious, don't ever work nights. I need to though cuz I have turned into a slob. I am so fat and sensitive and miserable and underslept and drunk all of the time that if I don't get productive soon, I may never have children or even have sex again and that of course that is the meaning of life.

Rarab tail aint all that

2007-10-18T13:28:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Full moon usually means it's time to do some farming. Just getch u butt outdea as Ahnold would say. But it usually isn''t worth it. Most of the things that are worth farming are farmed regularly and once you start on something that people want and noone knows people want it, miraculously, competition arrives.
I just finished helping some JP people with "Puppet in Peril" mission. One JP just up and left once I got there and asked them to use the Auto-Translate function. Too bad for him tho cuz even though we were doing dd with only one monk, we were stable and the win with nary a bump, although he did throw out the fire bombs by the dozens towards the end of the fight. I was so sure I was on Aht Urghan Mission(AM)29 and 30 and no it was 30 and 31. I got to the door and it gave me the option to do an ISNM so in I went and not with anyone else. So I exited and then I couldnt get the option for battle until later it just seemed to pop up.
I have sent off my XBox to be fixed. My brother in law says that it only took him 10 days to get it back so I hope it doesn't take too long for mine.
Tomorrow I find out about my new schedule I think. I have told many people that my life will turn around after this but my team leader seems bent on giving me errors and getting me fired. I told my sister yesterday that maybe he was giving me the dilly dally errors so that he would not have to point out the huge ones that I made.
Sometimes I think that they are monitoring every single call I make just to make sure ... something.
I was supposed to see this girl for the last time yesterday and wasn't able to make it to the dinner but expected to see her at the bar but she didn't go. Nice looking girl and really outgoing and funny for someone single and in their 30s.
All but us.
If she's reading, I wish her well on her trip to DC.

Consumed by the cowardice...

2007-10-16T12:34:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I know you guys are probably thinking, "What's up with the sunsets?"

Well they haven't given me a new schedule yet and they HAVE given me a new bunch of errors, hmm what does this sound like. Another "put that dog Hohito on his last legs" month. Sadly, I expect not very good things from work this month. More people have found that I am easily annoyed and they have deliberate methods of keeping me irritated while I am trying to work. It really is nothing but harassment but what are you gonna do, slappin that ass ain't wrong if the girl likes it, heh. Ew, that was harsh. I guess that's what they think, that I must like all of this "attention". Boy, are they mistaken. I tell my team leader about it and he just mimicks their behavior like there isn't anything to do but to get used to it. How do you get used to everyone insulting you, everyday, all day long?!

Well, back to FFXI. Since my sound doesn't work I am far more efficient in Dynamis I think and have found that I don't have to have sound to play which makes it far less interesting but makes me a much better player in some ways. It's funny my car is all keyed up, my sound is not working, my XBOX has the three rings error on it and is broken, if my "nose" could break, I swear right now it would be broken(maybe it is), and I am used to stuff breakin when I lose my temper but it seems as you get older people lose their temper for you. Ok, on a happy note, I ate something, so now I am fatter. Oh no, that was not positive!

I have been thinking of using the Fire Staff with RNG. What a boon, since now with -2 enmity from the Staff Grip you will be able to unload shots at will! But I will lose a lot of Racc from not using the dagger plus I haven't actually bought the Staff yet so who knows by the time I get up to that level(51), the price will be back to the 100ks.

I have needed to get some merits for my BLM since I want ICE level 5 and need 3 more merits for it but it's hard to find BLM merit pts. My WHM seems able to find pts no problem though so I guess I better get on up to 75 and start getting my merits that way.

Yesterday I finished the Ark Angels ZM14 mission and was delighted to finally get through the mission after a long set of battles. We had to do EV 3 times and no wonder that mob is famous. It did Spirits Within and KO'd the PLD both of the first times. But after some thought, I remembered that the PLD/WHM is light based and the light is weak to dark so I decided to keep Bio II on him and determined that I would use weakening strategy on him. As BLM I always try to counter the character with the one elemental skill that the character is weakest to. If we are fighting a THF I cast Frost, if we have a NIN tank I cast Rasp since I know he will be maxed on evasion gear, and for PLDs although I don't always do this a Drown and Shining Ruby strategy will help the team most since the armor is the focus with a PLD. In this case, with a Spirits Within that was KO'ing the PLD it seemed all the more obvious, so I set about to minimize damage until I could unleash my AM magic. I casted Bio II and Poison II and then it occurred to me that Poison and Drown were water-based so then I casted one round of Flare regular and it landed for 900 or so damage. A pittance for a PLD with Benediction so I immediatelly got off of that and kept Poison II and Drown up and now she was weak to water. I stayed in my Dark gear to maximize the benefit of Bio II also. After all was said and done the PLD was not close to KOing this time and was in the orange even after Spirits Within. I let loose 2 blasts of Freeze II with Aquilo's and level 4 Ice merits in tow and she was gone. We were all like wow that it was over. We had lost twice already when Spirits had KO'd our PLD and then the rest of us. The beautiful thing is that there is no exp loss on these battles so we didnt mind the losses. We also had a much easier time with the next two fights. After the HM victory our WHM had to go so we were left with PLD WAR MNK RDM and me BLM. We had only the taru left. He was tough and was even moreso due to AOE Petrify and we had just lost WHM for Stona! No matter, we decided to just wait it out and make it a slow fight like it was for EV. But it wasn't really, this guy only had one HP bar with no Bene. He also used a lot of status effects and spells and since our PLD was used to kiting EV, we did a lot of running around that didn't allow his spells to land. When he was close to dead, 2 blasts of Freeze II and an Asuran Fists put him down and we were done with our last fight with only 5!

Afterward, I changed to WHM and Teleport-Yhoated 3 of us to Norg and talked to Gilgamesh, then went back and entered the Shrine for a final cs.

It was a long night but at least it was fun.

Apathy, arrogance, cowardice, envy, and rage. It was funny how closely I identified with those feelings. I don't feel like I am a dark person though.

cc would love DRK

2007-10-07T09:56:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:73 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

After two weeks of moving to new areas I thought I could handle sitting in my own desk again and no. Just yesterday the same people start the same crap all over again with the interruptions while I am talking on the phone. It really riled me up. Later in the day though they seemed to be in a "wonderful" mood. The only solution is to keep moving I guess. If I complain to my leader, he will give me a bunch of whatsit errors and then I'm fired, if I do nothing I am going to get really pissed and yell at them, and then I'm fired. If I complain to HR, I'm fired cuz the HR person thinks I must be the problem. If you remember the last time I had a conflict instead of sitting us both together to talk about how that person was having the time of her life getting me in trouble, she just sent my funny ass home like I had Frankenstein written across my forehead. It really royally sucks to be me right now.
Well, I told them I would switch schedules to get myself a new boss but changing that would really make my life more difficult. I don't think a different boss will change things.
On a lighter note, I finally got my BLM hat from Dynamis and hoo boy it works great with my Errant gear and Dark Staff for sleeping purposes. I am half tempted to go quest my BLM AF pants just to improve my sleeping gear but nah, I don't want him looking like a jalopy. I tried using the hat with other gear and it really seems to me that the Black Cloak is best. Maybe after I get like 10 more merits in Elem skill I might pull out the weskit and use the hat with it but for now I am just gonna stick to my cloak.
I have sold off by Blessed gear cuz if stupid parties don't let me heal to my full 1300mp as a WHM then I might as well not have +mp gear and if -enmity is all I need then my Errant gear will work fine til I get my relic WHM body anyways.
I bought the staff grip and upgraded my Ice Staff finally and wow do I love being BLM now. I can't wait til the rest of it sells so I can buy my Jet Seraweels which look so COOL with the Black Cloak.
In assault I have begun the long climb to getting my Pants for THF which match perfectly with the Blue Cotehardie but I still have about 10k to go. But hey, I am now a Lance Corporal, woot.
I went to the bar last night and even though I thought it would suck I found myself talking to some people and in general had an ok time listening to the band. There is this one girl there that is really good looking and smiles at me a lot but as soon as I go talk to her she has stuff to do. ??? Whatever.
I need to take more risks in general though. I find the more I analyze my situation, the more I realize that I like to play it safe a lot and attack from on high when I speak. I need to do something this week.
This picture is me as a DRK. I have always wanted to level DRK cuz of the greatsword that I used with my WAR solely since I was a low level bum. Now that I got the paper for the GSD and the relic weapon, all I have to do is start my own Dynamis linkshell or something and start collecting money for it. It would take a VERY long time to do that though and DRK is only at level 16 but hey you gotta start sometime. I guess first I will boot my WHM to 75 though and then my WAR is next and then SMN. By the time my RNG is 75, I expect it will be next year and hopefully will be living it up in a place of my own with some chick with my relic weapon and full band of brothers going yay HOhito you ROCK, I never knew you could kick ash wit da ownage on a /WHM and WoW your wife looks like Cindy Crawford omg she IS cc, woot!

Where's the map?

2007-09-18T19:00:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:73 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

This is me trying to get a party together to get the Caederva Mire map. It's funny but I expected to have to maybe tank the stupid flea as a WHM/WAR with one other person but instead we had almost two full parties and really had an easy time of it. i had a brief time worrying though cuz I recognized one guy as a trouble-maker and he started to forget where things were, but in the end it all worked out.
I would like to look into tanking as a level 75 WHM/WAR for merit parties maybe since tanks are usually so hard to find and tend to be the early ones to leave. I will leave that thought alone for now though.
I expect to get by WHM relic body this week but I will have to get lucky to lot it. Dynamis is very finicky about who gets what and no matter what you are gonna have winners and losers. I had the chance to get my BLM hat and BLM belt last month and had them locked and was @1 to get them if they did, but they didn't drop. But a lot of other relic gear didn't drop so no worries.
I have stopped playing the game some cuz I am really into getting online to play Shadowrun. It's really neat. I have also started to take up FFXII again and found that THIS time, I wasn't so annoyed by the meandering of the joystick going the wrong way. As a matter of fact, it's become much more difficult for me to get annoyed. It's also much easier for me to mouth off I guess tho. I used to try to be nice to people cuz my mouth is so stupifying.
At work I am consistently moving to a new area and even though it is sort of cowardly, (aka, running from a fight) I find myself much happier at the end of the day. I wonder how long they will let me do that though.

BLM with an accent

2007-09-16T11:00:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:73 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Waiting for Xarcabard to start used to be a long wait. People don't know what on time means when they tell you get there at 12am EST and we start at 12:30am EST. People like to leave their parties at 12:30am and get here at about 1am or so and still expect to go to Dynamis. It's nice to have enough people show up sure but when you have to work the next day, you really would like to be done as early as possible. Friday was one of those days. It was a really late start but the reason for the late start was not really the people, it was the fact that another linkshell was already in there. Some people were done early and then other people just stayed in the area just so that the timer would run out to zero. I guess it's fun to mess with the most successful Dynamis linkshell on Shiva heh. Of course maybe I am just full of it, hah!
Another late night at the bar last night. As usual, I mosied up to a girl right at the end of the night and let her know how interested and wasted I was.
Not the best approach.
Today I see my manager again and hope he doesn't have a bookfull of errors to give me this month that put on my last nerves again. I enjoy playing the game but it has lost some of it's interest of late. I am playing Shadowrun on the XBOX and I am surprised how much fun it is to chat with people on the same team. Most of the people that play it are British.
How can I tell?

A life of cards

2007-09-14T00:49:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:73 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I could have married such a nice person when I was 19. She could play the piano, she had a good family, she was cute as hell and had big blue omg eyes. But I'm so cocky that I didn't settle. I refuse to take the small steps necessary. I want to leap into a fine girl's arms like I want to leap past two manager levels and be a director. It's kinda foolish. Later after not settling for the not so great girl I left college and proceeded to move in with a married one. That's life for ya. When you want perfect, you get to put your hands right on the flag and fall right into whatever mess it took to make it seem like you made it. And then y0u don't get perfect... you get a mess. Kinda like a house of cards. I wonder if my whole life has been like a life of cards?

Well o well, still hanging on to my job by the barest of threads. Strongly considering quiting the game cuz it doesn't make me happy anymore but then what does. I worry what I am going to do after I lose my job and I can't even breathe right. I wish there was some way I could just escape in Vana'diel with some chick and show her what it took me 2 years to learn. I could so start a business from this game but I am just crazy believing that I will actually ever find someone good enough for a fat redux perjorative guy like me.

They HAVE however given me the option to post to an English team in a couple of months but I have to MAKE it a couple of months before that happens.

Here's hopin' I make it.

Quality has gone downhill

2007-08-15T18:32:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:72 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Well, I got sent home again. I got more quality hits that are so incidental, you wonder that people haven't just straight up asked the Operations Manager if this is the FIRST time they have run a corrupt operation.

The procedures are the problem. The OM just pays for stuff but if the procedures are SO ambiguous that you can't tell if the rules are being followed, and if the decision as to whether the rules were followed or not lie with your manager, and if your manager doesn't like you, well on second thought I guess all that other stuff has nothing to do with it after all...

I'm on the last boat this time and trust me that there is no way, with all the little nitpicky stuff that is possible to hit me on during a call, that I can avoid it this time.

On a positive note though, I decided to go on a road trip and when I got sent home Friday I took the rest of the week to drive up to Niagara Falls and pay a visit. I was really quite proud of myself for doing it too. I almost turned around so many times before reaching the end, you have no idea. But that's my way, quit first, try it again later maybe... much later.

This has nothing to do with my job of course. My job is so ridiculously easy for someone with my experience and my wisdom that the only conclusion anyone of any intelligence could have about my situation is that they are TAKING my job away from me. I mean sure I have an attitude problem and maybe I am not the most positive of people when it comes to Mexicans getting money lent to them for stealing identities and trying to get me to just ignore it as they TALK to me and LIE to me and pretend my spanish isn't good enough and crap like that, but I AM able to do it.

Perhaps I am also a little too angry sometimes... that's possibly why people wanna throw stones at me too, who knows. I do know that I don't pick out people and attack them like they do me.

On the boat again

2007-08-06T14:26:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:72 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

On the way to the Black Coffin fight here. It's a boat to Nashmau but where exactly is that on the map? I am about to pass the 73 mark for my WHM and getting ready to lot on WHM gear for him. He has the relic hat already and though he looks better with a simple Noble's crown, I have to say that with the relic hat on, I can throw the FAT cures on just about anybody and not get hate. I mean in Besieged my WHM is like killing em softly with da cures.

I have to say I like using my Errant gear for WHM also since it helps heal mp. It makes the job more similar to BLM in that respect. But with my Blessed gear on my MP can come close and pass the 1200 mark. It's nice to have that much mp.

I wonder if I will eventually be moved to WHM status in Dynamis. I know that now that I have been there a while that I am becoming more acccustomed to how things work there but I have to admit that I am curious about other gear now. I kind of want that Morrigan's gear. I kind of need to try Limbus and Sky. I would really like to have those hands for my RNG if he ever gets up to level 70. I wish more of my friends would play FFXI.

I have been making asses of people at work by harassing them with the same antics they use to harass me. Oddly enough, the leaders aren't giving me crap about it. That's good cuz now I just hack and cough my ass off and people start to calm down when they realize how foolish I look doing it. It's kind of calming in a way. Maybe I will be able to keep my job after all.

OMG, it's your mother!

2007-08-02T16:44:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:72 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Here he is! The only single job that is up to straight up tanking a level 8 Besieged Mega-Boss by himself. That's right it's a THF/WAR! Perfect Dodge > Provoke > Take that with my dagger!

So you're wondering what would you like to merit. I think that way some times too, but mostly what I want is to merit BLM. I really would like to merit Dagger some more though so that I could take him through the Besieged campaign more easily and even against the Notorious Monsters. However, I find that BLM is what I feel the need to improve.

With Elemental Skill maxed more, I would be able to wear the Weskit and hit more often and that would give me more satisfaction in nuking since the way the Weskit looks IS rather snazzy compared to the "doombringer" cloak that I usually wear. I think the cloak is superior mind you, but therein lies the dilemna, more ice potency and wear the cloak or more elemental skill and wear the weskit. Hard decision.

Right now I am forced to wear the cloak so of course what I want is to wear what I can't wear cuz it's stupid to wear it. That's perhaps the title of my favorite country song.

I am leveling my WHM with some few efforts and even though I can't abide hearing people with their comments in parties, I have to think that they ask me for stuff cuz I suck at the job so much. Who knows. I do know that I like the job more once people shut up.

Haste on mages is like using haste on Paladin. I have found it's not so necessary so even though I can tell the difference when I cast, I don't cast Haste on myself anymore. I also don't Haste Paladins. If they can't keep hate with the blob of MP and tools that they have, I just stop hasting everyone else too. Turns out that works better sometimes. Haste really does use up a lot of mp and hasting 4 is like a gob of mp. I just won't do it unless I have a lot of support for healing from others. I realize Paladins have problems with people that won't play along so those people that pull hate, they stop getting haste. Those tend to be the monks and darks and thfs sometimes. You have to wonder HOW can a thf pull hate knowing what I know. You'd just HAVE to do it on purpose for god-knows-what reason.

Today I worked on getting my Map for Caederva Mire. I have had the printout for a while and that's usually how I finally get out and get stuff done is when I have a whole lot of time to think about it. It was looking rather grim at first and since the printout sed that 3 75s could kill it, I was of the mindset that as WHM/WAR, I might could tank it if someone else could like 2 hr and kill it off quickly. But thankfully that didn't happen. In about an hour we had 8 people all 70+ raring to go and the kill was a rather simple one. We could have killed like the behemoth though with the mob we had. We had 4 BLMs 2 WHMs a WAR and a THF. Needless to say, I didn't have to tank. There was sort of a delay cuz the first person to read the cs came out early and the rest of us were still in cs while his hp turned yellow! But we caught up just fine.

At the fish camp

2007-07-31T11:19:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:69 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I'm slowly getting my next level as WHM.

We had a party yesterday that encompassed a BST, THF x2, PLD, COR and me, a WHM/SMN. We were thinking about going out to Caederva Mire but that place is alwyas so packed now it isn't funny. People can party there at level 68 and can still successfully merit there with the quick kills at 75, so it's no wonder. The monsters in the new areas pop back up faster then in the older areas like Bibiki Bay or The Boyhada Tree, so that's another reason people aren't in Bibiki Bay like they used to be.

Well we decided to go to Bibiki Bay and party against the Hobgoblin Anglers. This was not a bad idea I thought since they take a long time to kill and if noone else is there there are plenty of them.

But it didn't go too well. With me being the only healer, I ran out of MP at about the 4th mob. My stats in MND arent bad at all considering I have 1200mp but that was not useful to note when I was out of mp and people had to wait for the whole thing to charge back up from almost zero. We couldn't even do chain 5 until I got rid of Haste. It was a real learning process for me.

That's when I came to the realization, COR is not refresh. The one roll gives single refresh and the other roll gives healMP + which only works when you are resting. That's ok if you as WHM rest a lot, but I don't like to, especially when I am using a Haste cycle and Regen.

I had my phone filter overheat like I have mentioned in the past and I was forced off the internet while it cooled off. This means that I could not log back in for like 5 minutes and explain why I dc'd.

It was ok though cuz I eventually was able to come back and at least tell one person.

I hate to say this but I think even though we got like 230+ exp per mob, that the party lineup was not a good one. It's just me.

How now fat cow?

2007-07-28T10:46:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:71 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Guide to playing Dynamis as BLM/WHM.

This is what you do when you are having fun in Dynamis and enjoying yourself killing stuff. As BLM/WHM you are hopelessly outgunned by the BLM/RDMs. They leave you sitting there looking like a full blown WHM with nothing to do, surrounded by a bunch of badasses.

But Stun is the key. Saving your BLMs who are half going after something else, half out of MP, and halfway through their next spell cuz they already used Stun, is what they will thank you for. Even more useful is to land that first spell against the one statue that noone has hit yet. You can run like everyone else and you can rest assured that they will follow you up with some hits of their own.

Since you can't play an active role in killing off statues unless there are like more than 2 of them, most of the time I spend nuking the melee mobs. I only use Blizzard 2 or 3. Blizzard IV usually lands the monster in your face and causes everyone in Dynamis (48 people) to follow you around as you try to avoid getting killed off. The leaders tend to have harsh thoughts about people that do this. Most of the time the monster is just dead before you get that spell off anyway cuz it takes so long to cast, so stick with Bliz 2 or 3.

There is some guide to hitting the right statues depending on what eyes they have. The ones with the Green eyes drop full MP blast so they want you to hit those and kill them off at the center of the melees. The ones with Blue eyes give full HP blast and they want those killed there too. Meh, ask me why and there are many possible reasons. Ask some jerk why, and you will get treated like you are slow or something. It's best not to ask jerks questions. Besides, do you really want to be educated by a jerk?

That reminds me of the call center. So many times I speak to Spanish people and they need stuff repeated. I wonder if it is in our nature to ask stuff twice? I used to find myself always making sure I understood stuff by repeating the question, but now as jaded as I am with my job, I get impatient when I get asked for the balance more than once. I can't help but wonder if there is a culture clash going on there. Maybe I am a part of it?

Well, only one more level till I can wear my uber-head gear AF2. It's actually the only piece I am going to want for WHM from Dynamis. I would really LOVE to have some Herald's Gaiters, but thats like wishing a fat cow would cook itself for you.

Hmm, time for work, I guess I'm lucky.

I'm back!

2007-07-18T23:43:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:69 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I am back and ready to do something new and improved. I hope my time at work goes well but I am expecting to just up and sit somewhere else like from now on. I have told them that I can't work with distractions and they have sat me down right in the middle of "them". lol

Oh well, at least I have people online that like me, though probably not as many as I think.

Oh well, at least I have people at the bar that like me, though probably not as many as I think.

Oh well, at least I have people from the old linkshell,

...ah forget it.

I need to get a dog.

Herleyouway

2007-07-10T17:54:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:69 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

It's funny, cuz one year ago I didn't have any problems at all under a different Team Leader.

In FFXI news I have no plans to play for a while since I did the last foray into Jeuno. I was @ 1 for the THF boots but they didn't drop. Since I have stuff locked up anyways, I was not allowed to lock those up anyway and I would have had to lot specifically.

I have become more reticent to give my brother and his girlfriend use of the game cuz they are in dire straits now and have many problems more serious than getting online. I wish there was someway I could help them but I am about to be out of a job.

Here, I am getting offers to work for call centers and I have to say that opening up a call center here is probably in the best interest for Citibank. Most of the residents have learned English here and many of the Nicaraguans that immigrated here are doing a lot of the hard labor and working in residents' homes, making the general population far more educated. Most of the Universities are gearing up their English requirements. Many stars are starting to buy up property here because of the many casinos that doubtlessly will soon find this as profitable as Cozumel but without the corrupt government leaders to hoodwink.

It's funny. I prepared for so long to run a center out here and improve the business in general with my genius and instead I am here writing all this in my FFXI blog like an afterthought.

I am clearly not the Transformational Manager I was once told I would be.

Losin' in

2007-07-10T17:29:00.001-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:69 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I am now in Costa Rica. I had a safe flight but it has become something of an ordeal now having to wait till I return to the US to find my job in jeopardy. I expect perhaps this vacation before being fired is for the best. Still, since I have been in this situation before, I expect to make it through it. On the other hand, like with Uchipu's linkshell breaking, I expect it will be the "really" last time eventually. I need to plan for what I am going to do next and perhaps this trip was for the best, to really plan on it. There is a lot of optimism out here for people with close to having almost no money. I am aghast sometimes at the sheer disparity in dispositions from regular working folk and really corrupt sheisters, to successful beacons of the work ethic that is present at Citibank. I know I am one of the latter, but if I lost my job, I know that everyone around me will have bought into the mindset that I am not productive and that is something that I just grips me with disbelief when I think about it.
I wonder about my skills sometimes though and I know a lot about drinking coffee and a lot about Excel and about credit scores and the new Credit reports that Citibank is using to approve credit and lend money to people that may not deserve to have use of money which may be in direct violation of the Patriot Act but who knows, maybe out of the goodness of their heart they are giving money to Spanish speakers who are located mainly in Texas and OR and AZ and CA and just risking it using limited knowledge. I have been with them perhaps too long, 17 years now, and my usefulness has greatly waned of late. Is there anything more boring than an aging mascot? One thing I do know is that people will read again!
The Home Depot Credit Services is making a lot of money though, I do know that. I wonder how it is that people in safe positions with nothing to lose can possibly risk it all for just a little bit of fun. I know I am not like that. Well, time to say goodbye. I still have plenty to talk about though. I constantly wonder about my mouth.

It's in the eye of the beholder

2007-07-09T00:34:00.000-04:00

BLM:75 WHM:69 SMN:44 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Sometimes it's nice to take a break from it all.
Tomorrow I travel out of the country and will find quite a different environment from what I have gotten used to here in Jacksonville.
I have big hopes that maybe I will find some sort of solace in the company of my family. My cousin is getting married and even though I will probably be jealous as hell most of the time throughout the ceremony, I will find my peace with the future there I expect.
Work is not working out again. Today I had another case of harassment with this girl and I let her slide yet told my boss about it and he took it out on me like I was a pansy for saying anything. He gave me a zero for one call and like a 50 for another which basically screws me for the entire month. The process is so corrupt I'm not even gonna mention it until I need to. I am so lost there, I might be like keeping my job for another 3 years or I might be losing it next month. It's really a crapshoot. One thing is for sure though, I had no problems with my previous mgr like I have had with this one.
Does that beast look scary? He perhaps would look scarier if he was yellow.