Power urge

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I didn't just take a dump... I made an accomplishment. 
(hey it works for Sarah Silverman it can work for me)

So it's important also... to make sure you are in a good mood when you begin writing because the aura of creativity that is needed to inspire free-thinking can only occur when you are happy or inspired. Does this have something to do with trying to impress somone like SECupp or Alex or Rachel? Possibly. (excerpt from Obi Wan)

I was once challenged by a guy at billiards to take the cue ball put it next to the object ball and then try to make the ball in by hitting the opposite rail longways. This was a very long shot and to be sure you had any number of ways to make it. You could angle it perfectly and make sure you gave the cue a center ball hit. You could english it ever so slightly so that the spin would not only rub it off the rail but lessen the angle before the hit if it hit the second rail. Or you could simply SLAM it into the rail and pretty much anything in the way would go into the pocket that was pretty much right there anyways.

So this was a slightly hard shot and, since I was in a good mood, I wanted to impress the guy so IN the ball went. The shot was impressive and he wondered if I was a big-time hustler and if so... who did I work for? How funny. It boggles my mind how someone with my looks, my money, and my clothes and demeanor and MANY acquaintances... can scare people. I either write it off to bad gossip or to people that just want me to be scared of THEM, which seldom happens.

But I remember mentioning to the guy that if I was mad or just meh, I couldn't make the shot. I am at my best when I am being impressive and charismatic, not when Im ired or simply buzzed. I do like to occasionally show off my INCREDIBLENESS though so that people don't completely write me off as sub-standard. Fact is, if I try really hard, most people begin to try really hard to keep up with me and soon, some people get annoyed. Still other people get annoyed because they "want your best game" (Color of Money) but those people are BIG boys that have spent more than half their life playing so it's no sweat off me to keep them in the dark.

That was part of my battery was to simply "know" that I was awesome and that others didn't know that. Guys could jeer at my fear to talk to girls or at how nice I was or that I didn't do drugs and I would still walk around "knowing" I had amazing skills and knowledge and family and if it made them feel better about themselves to jeer at my life, good. Fast forward that to today and my history of being fired and my bar history and I might have lost control of my "knowing" of my greatness because I'm not so well regarded anymore.

Btw, everyone has a battery... an "evil' core. It should not be defined as evil but it's helpful to label it that way to start. This evil powers everything we do. It's that selfish part of us that wants to SPEED past the speed limit, ask that girl ONE MORE QUESTION about her marital status, grab that SECOND french fry from another person's plate. Ya, it's evil alright but it's not really illegal and it is NECESSARY to maintaining your happiness level. This means that you can expect everyone to have these NEEDS that parents would clearly not recommend to children. So let's stop calling these "things that we do", evil and let's just call them darkness or secrets or power urges. It's not fair to call people evil since we all have these "needs", it's only fair when they become addicted to evil or addicted to their urges... which is a lack of control... which is akin to chaos.

So my power urges include porn, drinking, dogging others at darts and billiards, and writing this blog and talking like I own the planet might be a power urge.

But it's not illegal. 

PS. Another annonying truth I wonder about is what it must be like to be a woman.  I mean I got called "lonely" by someone on twitter recently and in retrospect, if a man is lonely him having balls and fat sausage hanging out the front, how much more lonely are woman who have a hole that needs filling?  Fact is women aren't bitches, they are MADE bitches by men who mistreat them.  Mentally ill people don't lose something and sink into mental illness they are MADE mentally ill.  Rebellions like the one in Ukraine aren't caused by selfish rebellious people... people are MADE into rebels.