a box of McDonald's

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

Right as we were all seniors about to graduate with a business degree(though not from Wharton but a private university nonetheless) the professor gave us suggestions as to what we would do.  We should invest time in internships(doing it for free).  We should keep our comments to ourselves.  We should maybe work at McDonald's or another fast food chain.  At this a lot of people laughed.

But I for one DIDN'T laugh.  I had already spent many years working at McDonald's on and off and I was excited at the prospect that I already had experience most of these students didn't have.  In hindsight, a TOP portion of these students got the professor to recommend them into internships downtown and I didn't pay it much mind then but WHOA what if I would have immediately started using the stuff I had just learned?  What a different life I would have led.

But today I want to talk to you about how McDonald's prepares you for life.  Few things are as commonplace around the world as fast-food.  You got your front counter where you do sales.  The back counter where you cook the food.  You got your stockroom.  You have your walk-in, which is what we call it but that's actually the fridge.  And you have your freezer, which is a room unto itself.  If you want to be CEO this is probably the simplest way to expose yourself to ALL facets of the business.

Now this post could be EXCEEDINGLY long if I told you everything I learned in the 3 short years I spent as crew and as manager.  But I will try to give you only the highlights and their ramifications.

Working the front line you learn to be patient with people and also how to work fast.  It's important not to spill stuff because other people are running around behind you.  It's important to sweep and mop often because you want the floor clean and DRY, not dusty or wet which would slow you down and even be dangerous.  In time you learn the keyboard and where everything is.  It takes time but soon you are getting people's order and you can even send grill orders(special orders) back with stuff like "no onion" or "no ice" or you can even tell them how they like their coffee.

Now once you are good or expert at front line, you can work the drive-thru.  Working the drive-thru is like getting promoted to marketing.  You know your job and you are going to do it for the company and make the entire store look good.  People next you will wonder what relative of yours works in corporate because it's that good.  Only your best people go in drive-thru.  There are going to be customers non-stop, unlike front line.

What's the lesson?  Well, I guess here you can apply things like Organization Behavior and Management skills.  Is the customer old and cranky?  They need more attention without more negativity.  Maybe you need to speak up?

In the back line you learn to cook.  I was excited when they first put me there because I was front line for a long time before I got to cook.  Thing is they usually keep these two types of people separate.  If you work in the back you usually are not good with customers but are very good at your job.  If you can take 18 buns and slide them all on 18 patties all at once, that's good.  If one of those buns falls on the floor... well, it's time to put you back on front line and maybe bathroom and lobby detail so you can learn what kind of stuff is on the floor that you gotta now clean.

On some days there will be need for a stockroom person.  This person usually organizes the truck.  It's a simple process but some things are not simple.  Obviously when you run out of cups you don't want to start a new stack of cups in a different location because not everyone is at work with you when you do it.  This will cause confusion, so you have to learn where the cups go where the big mac boxes go and where the breakfast supplies go, etc.  Old boxes need to be broken down and put in the recycle bin and you have to learn how to get on top of those boxes and jump up and down on them so that more boxes will fit in there.  It's uh, kinda technical.  You might think this is surely for the most "simple" of associates but rest assured that if there IS a job, someone can screw it up.

Now I could go on.  I have done EVERY job in McDonald's and I only became a manager because my father told me once the the captain of a ship must know EVERY part of his ship if he is going to run it well.  So it has been my joy at every job to start from the bottom despite knowing I was more capable than many already in power. 

Some alternate things I learned in school was LIFO and FIFO.  I have already talked about this before.  You would think it makes no sense to do LIFO(last in first out) but in the stockroom, where things don't get old, it's much more convenient to use the last box stacked since the items there are identical to the ones in the back and are closer.

This doesn't apply to salad.

One of the very dastardly deeds that goes on in McDonald's outside of the view of most people is how the condiments are assembled.  The lettuce for the big macs gets poured into a container that sit on another container full of ice.  This is so the lettuce is kept cold.  Now, as the ice melts, it has to be replaced or the lettuce will get warm.  This is why customers sometimes get average burgers some times and they get GREAT burgers when I am running things.

We're just molecules, cutie!

See, this is a recurring theme for life.  Some people are soft and amiable.  They get along with people, they are patient in front of old people that slur or are unhappy or are slow to decide.  They are stop and go without very much need to finish things or do things well, knowing in their minds that it's all about the journey.  Put this person in the back making burgers and he will be there counting out onions and placing buns, one at a time, on the burgers and put just enough lettuce to make the burger look fantastic.  It will also take 4 minutes for this person to make a burger where usually it takes 2.

This is the part that is binary.  People can be happy to be soft, they can be happy to be anal and EVEN SO, these people can them separate into fast or slow performers.  Life is like that.  Separation after separation.

People are good then slow then loud then kind then charitable.

It's like Economics.  People profess to be able to tell you what will happen to the economy if you raise taxes or increase the minimum wage because wages affect disposable income which affect rent prices which affect a cities tax revenue.  Economics is just another system that like communism can go awry.  People want to label things as evil especially people in power.  But if you remember that we are all just molecules,  then you can get the takeaway that we all should, above all, be calm.  That even a dictator can do no wrong if people are happy.  At the same time, happiness should be a warning to you that something is very VERY WRONG.

Like a flower, exuding happiness is a signal to the bees. Life goes on and so must work and the show and your funeral blah blah blah, sun is not gettin any younger.  Be wary about happiness... lost my point.

Oh, so sometimes with lettuce you won't use FIFO(first in first out), even though you must.  This makes sense with lettuce right?  The lettuce at the bottom must always be the "first out".  If you simply pour in new lettuce on top of old, what happens?  Black people, your response... lol... no, you don't get shot but hey, could happen.

Besides, so what if the customers are Muslim, lol.  I still haven't seen that whole you-tube on that so I can't comment more but I like both Ms. Pearson and SE so I won't say more.

With people, I mean, with lettuce, if you don't replace the old lettuce, it will positively get slimy back there and at the end of the day what we do is... we put nice bit of plastic over the "lettuce container" and put it in the walk-in.  Now just think about that,  what is that lettuce at the bottom is DAYS old?  What if we don't FIFO that lettuce and keep the old lettuce up top?  It's going to be difficult on that Muslim right?  He's doing to be "not very satisfied" with his Bernie Mac I mean Big Mac.

Imagine yourself for a moment chewing on the Big Mac.  Oh sure that thousand island dressing is doing wonders to mask that dehydrated spinachy taste you have in your mouth right now.  Later when you have to digest it, it will do wonders for your constipation though things could get worse if as you digest, this "old lettuce" decides to not just INFECT the good lettuce but infect your stomach and give you food poisoning.

It's a not very subtle thing to picture is it?  Old lettuce, on YOUR burger.  But that's how it happens, You take a living thing like an election and you forget to FIFO.  Now that taste in your mouth SHOULD BE tasty, juicy, crisp, and full of substance.  You SHOULD BE able to tell the difference between the lettuce and the dressing, am I right?  It can't just be all dressing and we still go ahead and go back there for another burger.

So as you walk in to your election booths and decide if you want same old same old, think about this.  I am not a fan of same old same old, but I do like to do things slow... sometimes, for free. 

What am I saying? I'm saying elect Trump, fools! At the same time, keep McDonald's in business(with new people in charge once in a while) if you want some common way of relating to everyone.  

PS. Life is like a box of McDonald's McTrumps... yeah, I know this bringing up Forrest Gump is not helping my point >.> but hey, comedy.  Little bit of comedy = good.