Snow White and the who?

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So it must be said that the movie that I saw yesterday, Snow White etc, was trash. It looked good and I loved the actors but the writing of it was trash.

Spoiler Alert, I'm gonna talk about the movie.

The huntsman is a drunkard who apparently lost his wife and wants her brought back to life. This is not a good guy. People that are vindictive stay that way unless it was their first time maybe. Even yoda says that people that die should not be mourned as their death is a natural part of life, unlike Anakin who becomes enthralled by his need to keep his wife alive at all costs from a threat that could just as well have come from her electric toothbrush.

Small wonder, the huntsman gets betrayed, by the brother of the queen before he goes back to the queen. OMG I'm getting disgusted all over again. So it doesn't matter if his contract was with the queen, the brother can just speak for her.

And by the way, WTF is a brother doing in Snow White. There's no crying in baseball! That's why there's no brother in Snow White!!!

So he decides not to bring back Snow White because he was told he won't get paid. So then she attacks him, he leaves, she follows him. Ugh!

On the way from her escape, her horse that's not really her horse but that somehow loves her, gets caught in mud and she leaves it. Sigh.

Good example, for the kids although the whole dagger scene with the king dying betrayed in bed is not the best way to start a fairy tale. It is if you wanna be scared of one night stands for the rest of your life... especially if you come from money.

All this time, she has been in love with her little boy friend that left her when the queen's forces took the castle. In the most ridiculous turn of events, he cares for her she for him but the huntsman is the one who wakes her up with a kiss meant for his wife when she bites the apple given to her by some man in the woods that was actually the queen.

I guess I might have to watch it again to get it but OMG could I have written something better. I could even give Snow White some armor but never would I give her a sword. Yeah, she gets a sword. If to act is to use your sword then the symbologilly might make fum fence.

I was kind of hoping, in keeping time with how ridiculous the story was going, that the queen would turn into a dragon but nah. I guess they ran out of money. Anyway that would be sleeping beauty so meh. You know, they can afford all these good actors and all these special effects and noone read the script. Put simply, I smell sabotage.

Julia Roberts' Snow White was better but meh I was hoping for a more artistic version this time, or maybe a Batman Dark Knight version, instead I got the "gladiator" version. After a while I was falling asleep. I paid NO attention to the dwarves, some of which I recognized as great actors. I mean all that money and I couldn't even get a booty shot of one of the actresses or something, bah! I had to content myself that Kristen Stewart was good looking and sadly that Charlize Theron was there but playing a not so charismatic part, although I can't wait for Prometheus.

The story of Snow White as I remember it is the one where she is in competition for the throne. Where her innocence blinds her to the Queen's true nature. Where off searching for her maturity she meets her members of the board(from Vanilla Sky). Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy, etc. These seven dwarfs are supposed to supplant her real emotions on her road to maturity.

It is by this example that I believe most people should have at least 7 real relationships before committing to marriage. One emotion dominating the relationship for each boyfriend or girlfriend.

Sidenote:
This reminds me that my mother told me that it takes 4 months for a fruit to go ripe and so I commented that maybe that's how long people should wait for sex. That they should grow the need together and let it ripen. Then it occcured to me that somehow someone else always "worms" their way into a long wait for sex which oddly makes the theory more sound but makes me feel like shit. And besides, I can't wait that long.

Snow white, after following their example of going to work every day, decides not to go to work and finds the old lady that offers her a gift. An apple.

This apple is the too-good-to-be-true nature of most contracts you don't read. Which reminds me of Dragon Age. A demon can only have control of you if you accept his offer but that makes you an abomination. So anyways, she simply takes a bite of the apple and goes to sleep.

It can be said that anyone innocent is overwhelmed the first time this sort of thing occurs to them. They don't want anyone to know they slept with the football team, they don't want someone to tell mom she slept with a girl once, they don't want people to find out she dated a Muslim. It's all so stupid in the grand scheme of things but to the innocent, it must seem like a completely new feeling. A chain. A truth that puts them to sleep. It makes them stop seeking improvement. It stifles their ambition.

This is why Snow White fell asleep.

Later, she can only be awakened with true love's kiss. Indeed, a reason for living, for being productive, for taking the reins from the queen.

This was what the story was all about. The journey of an innocent girl to adult who had a responsibility to be queen one day when she was of sufficient maturity to understand what evil was. To be the fairest of them all.

To be the fairest of them all you have to be popular to good and evil people both. You have to get fooled once or twice to understand that many many people are getting fooled all day long everywhere from the drive-thru to the dentist's office to Congress to the auto body shop when they told me it would take a couple of days to see how much the repair would cost and then after two weeks of checking on it told me it would be ~$400 to get my car out when they made up whatever number they thought it would be to repair it, without telling me beforehand of the storage costs. Autocrafters bah!

So to be the fairest of them all, to be queen of your world, you must have love, you must hi-ho hi-ho go to work keeping your emotions in check, you must get wronged and have some wisdom of how bad a bad apple can ruin your life, no not gonna say it, and it's after all of this has happened and all of this is in your knowledge, that you can rule.

But it's not enough to just watch the movie or read the story, you have to live it.

Only people that live it can truly teach.

At Jacksonville University, I was careful to select my teachers so that they would have the highest impact on my education. You could say that the ones that made the most impact gave me the worst grades but I would rather say that I learned my lesson from them. Some say that teachers are the ones that can't do. I guess those people don't know Jesus.

Anyways, so Snow White is your heart before maturity, indeed when people say you have heart, they mean you still hold some innocence, you have not given up your empathy for others, you are endearing and engaging and exciting to others. This is what it means to have heart is to not be heartless. It means to be Snow White... as much as possible even for men and such.

I guess you could just identify with her spirit if you're a guy. Unless you long for some brash hunstman to wake you from your sleep instead of who you though it would be. Hmmf.

What the hell is a huntsman doing in Snow White!

He needs to go back to Red Riding Hood and stop messing with the little girls from another story.

Now Red Riding Hood is a different tale but in that story the Huntsman makes sense. All you republicans out there say, Yay!

In that story, on your way to doing your daily chores you have valuable things. Goods. You have got the goods! And people in groups and gangs and the wolves out there, they want 'em. We could call em reapers but that suggests that what they do is hard work oh wait nevermind reapers don't work.

And the only way to get em is to fool you. The story doesn't say the wolf came and found Red Riding Hood(RRH) on the side of the road and gobbled her up. It says he went to someone Red Riding Hood trusted and pretended to be her. The only way this can happen is if the person not only intends to fool RRH, but intends to take the place of her grandmother. Wolves have no ethics, they are animals, someone we don't know which one, is guilty of eating grandmother and it's only after the trick has happened that the wolf can eat Red Riding Hood. Not before. So it is that the story ends when the Huntsman finds the wolf, opens up his belly, keeps the wolf's skin, and out come RRH and grandmother. I'm not sure if grandmother makes it I can't remember.

This eating could just have the same effect as sleep in Snow White, they could bind you with some spell and from then on you are in the wolves's stomach until you come out. A spell is when you believe something that isn't true. This makes it real, for you, even though it isn't. People that deal in spells are all mages and are dark people.

Anyway so yay for the huntsman in Red Riding Hood, all Republicans and cops out there should rejoice that the huntsman is so well thought of.

I guess the story is for cheaters out there that think they can get the goods by pretending to be granny. It says you better watch out cuz little girls might think you're granny but the Huntsman... he knows how to skin a wolf.

You know, you can tell ahead of time by the title of things that something is wrong. Like in Mr. and Mrs Smith when the really little guy that they both were after was named "the tank". It's times like those that you realize the gods are playing with your life AND that there's a way out if you will just look at the signs on the road or in this case the title of the movie.