Circumcission has to do with...

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

You know when you have a disease, if you try to conquer it yourself, you find out things that help and some things that really don't. So today, I am going to give you some facts(albeit my facts) of what works or makes sense to me based on things that I have had a problem with.

I used to have dandruff. The shampoo that helps this is supposed to get rid of it but I find that a curious things happens now. My mother has always had some sense of dandruff and since she is from Costa Rica she pretty much believes everything. In fact if something is out of place in my opinion she will usually side against me on it. She always has. That is probably where I get my "devil's advocate" approach to many things is perhaps by upbringing.

So I step into her shower, because my father recently had spinal surgery and is using his entire setup in the main bathroom, and find Selsun Blue in there. I used to love that shampoo because it had a nice menthol after-effect on my scalp once I was finished. A little later in the day I find my scalp itching. Now I am not used to this because I used to have a lot of money and it was all Paul Mitchell shampoo from the day I first brought it home and realized how good it cleans and I guess because of it's nice smell which was manly yet somehow fruity at the same time. Don't ask, don't tell.

So I realized that along those lines, of products actually making you need them more, that a whole world of possibilities existed which now that I put it all together is really more mathematical rather than just a few evil men trying to curb population.

Once you have something ingenius, the first trend is to expand it to everyone, that's the upward trend. As it reaches everyone, the expansion gets smaller. And as the need for the product to continue to produce gets more insistent, despite less expansion, expansion starts to drop faster. This is the law of diminishing returns. If you graph it, it looks like the normal curve. If you ever wonder what normal is, this is it.

So since everyone doesn't want to have to use dandruff shampoo the rest of their lives after they cure themselves, there has to be some reason for them to keep buying it. Hence the slight little itch which if you aren't me who knows they haven't had dandruff for like 10 years, might seem like the shampoo didn't get it all.

Such was the case with Citibank statements. And I use this example a lot to show what corruption is. A long time ago, perhaps when we were still AT&T Universal Card, people called to say that their statements could use some improvement. It was pretty straightforward looking but once we started to market stuff on it and started to print on both sides to save paper, it started to get a bit jumbled. So a statement re-design team was invented.

This statement re-design team really managed to improve the statement a great deal and in less than a year, perhaps a lot less, the statement was fixed.

One problem, the statement re-design team was now no longer needed. So soon after the manager was probably told that he would be reassigned and after the workers were told they would have to get back on the phones, (which everyone that could spit would tell you was the worst job) the statements started to get "improved" even further. In fact, it got so hard to read people started calling about their statements again and in no time at all, even we in customer service were confused and couldn't read them. There were promotion codes here and debits and credits started to show up which was ridiculous for a customer to look at but hey if you were anything in business you know what debits and credits are. Which may explain what a negative debit is... but it doesn't. COME ON FOOL you KNOW what a negative debit is right just subtract twice MOREON! Oh wait, a credit is what we give customers when we are subtracting but if what they are doing is borrowing then the money we give them is a debit to their checkbook but if we are explaining their statement and it's positive then it's always gonna be called a ... who knows.

Yeah welcome to why we need accountants even though that is the most BS job out there. And what's more stupid is to have tax preparers because it's hard to count what we owe. And wait more on that side, what if it's possible to tell where our economy is going, then we should have economists!

It's sad to be 40+ and realize that all of this is just a mask for simple stuff that everyone should be able to understand. Medicine is getting like that, teeth are getting like that, even laws are getting like that. Wouldn't it be nice to know how your car works before you buy it and not have to hook it up to some machine that you aren't gonna see again the rest of your life but that every mechanic uses every day.

OK, sidetracked again. So that is ANOTHER reason corporations don't "start" new projects that improve stuff that doesn't need fixing. Another example would be the call quality team. We, our managers, would choose the best performers from the customer service team(aka. phones) [aka= also known as]to sit-in on calls from customers to find out how we were doing. For a while it seemed like a good idea. Managers could tell how hard we were working and they would see how improvements made call times shorter. But then it became a real waste of time and a headache. People would give grades much lower than normal. People would get fired for the one instance that they got listened to at this meeting while they dogged or were getting dogged by a customer. People off the phones, in an effort to get stay off the phones would begin to secure their positions on the quality team which eventually got to have their own department. Small wonder, when they asked me in Business Card if I wanted to start up the quality team I said no. I pointed out what a waste of time it was and the negative impact it had on morale and that people were essentially "doin' nothin, gettin paid". So on that note we tried doing the Business Card without a quality team where managers, instead of associates woudl listen to calls and rate their employees based on the calls they heard instead of in front of a group. Result, the highest per customer profit of any SBU in Citibank. Yeah, that's in the world!

Soon after, people found out about it and started to corrupt it from outside. The fraud department started to listen to calls and noted instances of risk to the credit card because our associates were acting badly which I have to say was due to this one associate that was getting treated badly by this old lady that should not have been part of the group who in the end did us all in by getting my manager fired. Staffing control found out that our associates that were so happy doing their jobs that I had tried to make as easy as possible, could now take regular calls that were not Business card. This gave the one guy who thought of it a promotion and made my department a whole lot busier and perhaps more mainstream. Improvement? I don't think so. And after my manager got fired instead of moving me up the chain which I really didn't want because my philosophy was to do as little as possible as well as possible, they hired this hunter/seeker black woman straight out of the ROOTS epic to show us how slaves were treated. The more I gave suggestions or showed my disdain for things, the more errors I got, even though I was in the SME (subject matter experts) team where if we made errors it's not for lack of knowledge, it's cuz she made them up! And that was the beginning of the end of my career.

Hmmf, sidetracked again. So instead of 40 pages of BS about my job let's get back to things that go wrong with your body. Another problem that had lasted a long time is skin itching. I can't blame this on a soap or anything though I might, but I have tried switching soaps and though it helps I have found that most of the problem lies in your bed. I watched shows that would explain how mites eat your old skin or freshly disposed of skin and that made sense to me. I started to change my sheets more often but the show said that even this was not enough and that you would have to change the mattress and the pillows and that even then, because they were so small, that they would continue to exist.

It seemed to me then that all things that weaken you are like these pests. Once they get a foothold of the sweet meat, they propogate and propogate and even with a full bath, some of them cling to the ends of your hairs and later mate with the sedentary ones in your bed to continue the population.

One solution, shave! Yeah I have been shaving my pubes for nary on 10 years now and I must say if it were normal to shave everything, I would. It makes no sense to have any sort of hairs on your body unless you work outside. People that work outside must sweat because that is part of the exhaust of hard work and this sweat is pure gold to pests which comes not only with water but with fresh waste that your body is exhuming, heh. So for this we need hair. Hair makes the sweat get off the skin and takes the pests along with it, which keeps your skin healthy and allows most pests to be shaken off with the sweat when it gets too much. You ever notice that you only have hair where your sweat glands are? Well now you know why.

So now we get to why I am writing today. Circumcision. Sorry I was 2nd in my spelling bee in the 4th grade so I'm not the best spieler. I was on my way to watch another movie but it was 12.50 for the XD and 7.25 for regular so I didn't watch anything. But on my way back I was listening to NPR and they started to talk about it. I used to wonder a lot about it. I am circumcised so I wonder if that's why I don't kick people's asses when they deserve it. Sure it could be that I am too much like Jesus, it could be that I have respect for the law, it might be that I don't feel little wobble-weeble people should have to hit with 50 lbs. of me for every stupid thing that's insulting, but I would rather think that it's because I'm circumcised. Yeah, in the bible it says that all the first born were killed and that because Jesus survived, he became outspoken. At first, it seemed to me that people didn't speak back because they felt it was improper but just maybe it means that they had a big brother. Me, being the oldest, have wondered if maybe that's why I challenge everything, because I'm like Jesus. OK, some of you gotta stop laughting... It also could be said that maybe it's because this king periodically killed all the first borns that families were kept docile. I mean it makes sense right. What woudl this world be like if I hadn't lived? My entire family is already pretty much on the tame side but without me there and with a nice big FU staring back at them their whole lives, they might not have done the many things they did. So it seems that circumcission is a similar step in that direction.

Imagine that you have this religion and they want all of their marriages to be forever and imagine that the men are not from Africa, well then the right thing to do is to circumcize the boys. That little rubber lining or whatever it is is what keeps the seal.

That is what makes sex safe from disease and from AIDS. That is what keeps the pests out and the good boys in. Small wonder that taking that seal away and having all men out there try this and that with different partners in places that have no seal(like for example the rectum) suddenly get pests in the wrong place. It's not brain surgery. Circumcission caused AIDS and to remove the AIDS, it's gonna be a slow process. You gotta throw away the mattress. Endymitriosis is something where there are pests that live in the vagina. This can happen from unhealthy men having sex with women. Another reason to "keep the seal".

It amazes me to hear people speak about stuff and defend circumcission as a tradition worth keeping. It's worth keeping if we are going to have one partner in life, yes. Maybe that was the point. But that's not how a democracy is run. Maybe we ought to kill off all the left-handers, like me, because we know they are gonna turn out to be rebels, but the truth is that people like me are gonna see though what we are taught and re-assess what is right based on the culture of the time.

Well, let's see I have cured cancer and AIDS. Now one more thing to solve and done. BTW, name's Hohito, not Hirohito like the failed short emperor that thought he was going to make his people the rulers of the world but somehow knew all along that he wasn't.

Oh I almost forget to add something that really doesn't help just to show you that, meh I might be wrong.  I once used a Q-tip to clean my ear.  It seems like a good idea but if you don't know what your ear looks like you just shove and shove and hope some crap comes out on the Q-tip.  Well one day it was itching really bad, not the least of which is perhaps due to my nasty pillow that I should have replaced, and so I shove and shove and pop I burst through something that I really shoudn't have.  So I know that first thing I wanna do is disinfect so I get some hot water and pour it in there but there is still pain so I wait awhile and soon it starts to itch again and I am really worried that these pests are gonna get inside my brain so I get this nice idea about peroxide. 

Peroxide is like the miracle cure in my book.  It is the simplest thing to make.  It is H2O2.  Regular water is H2O and nothing combines with it which makes it one of the most stable molecules in the planet.  That's why flushing ANYTHING with water is guaranteed not to cause cancer or AIDS or give you any kind of infection.  In fact an infection is when pests take over and start to eat your body because of some sore you didn't clean from pests(disinfect).  So using peroxide,(why do they give stuff these names why dont they just call it the chemical symbol and be done with it oh yeah cuz if it's you talking then its H20, if its an accountant then its water) is the ideal way of cleaning something. Usually that extra O in the H2O2 bonds with water pests are seeking to infest your sore or I guess maybe it blasts the pests.  You can tell when your cut or sore is clean because the solution will stop bubbling and will simply appear to be water running over your sore.  You can use this stuff in your mouth for the same effect and poof watch your dental bills drop.  But like many parts of your body if you clean it too well, you actually weaken yourself to other dangers.  If you drink too much, you have more problem with digestion and later on with taking a dump as many of you may already have noticed.  If you smoke too much, your lungs may not do a good job of getting rid of some foreign thing that will give you cancer.

BTW, cigarettes don't cause cancer.  Thought you knew...

And if you clean your teeth too much, you are gonna have more trouble with stuff getting caught in your teeth because what you have done is actually cleaned off the enamel that helps keep your spaces tight, which may cause you to wonder if I think flossing is a good idea.  Flossing < 30 = no. 

Also, it's a good idea to pick your nose.  I don't condone doing it while talking to someone or while eating in public but those hairs in there are doing just what the rest of your hairs are meant to do, to keep pests and junk from resting on your skin, either in your nose or in your lungs or throat.  So if you wanna do a good job, go to the bathroom, turn on hot water and rinse those nails, keep the soap in your hands but rinse your nails like to or three times and then grab a paper towel and stick it all the way up your nose.  Pull out the boogers with your fingers cuz why not you are about to rinse them and whatever is nasty about your boogers is covered by your own clean mucus and then rinse the towel in hot water and clean off the rest of your nasal hair and poof, no lung cancer, your lungs are running smoothly getting filtered as efficiently as possible and you can probably even smoke if you want to, you have my permission.  If you get cancer, it was your wife.  Hah!

Moreover, clean your nails often, because that is where most pests gather is nearest to where your most recent dead material is.  Think orifices.  Your nose, ears, eyes, nails, toenails, genitals all have pests just waiting to eat any fresh waste you are about to deposit in the form of puss or boogers or toejam or whatever.  So if you wanna keep clean, concentrate on these.  Oh and if you can afford it get an air purifier.  It's not a lot of electricity or maybe it is but if you clean that filter and realize in your head that all of that could have been filtered by your lungs, you are gonna see the value of it for yourself.  And btw, when we get allergies to stuff, don't ignore them.  They tell you something is wrong so sneeze away and then get away or find the litterbox then clean it.  Our nose is so that we know something is poison and if just go on breathing what we are allergic to, don't be surprised when you got a big glob of cancer and think wow I really should have ran over that deer!

Pick your nose and like it.  Well who knew that that has a lot to do with circumcission after all...

You are all probably wondering about my smugness now, so let me tell you what happens when you put even a slight bit of hydrogen peroxide in your ear after you manage to make a really big sore in your eardrum, and this pain went on for days to which I eventually just had to twist up a big towel and shove it all the way in there and just twist it and replace it as the wound healed.

This is what happened:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!

And if you think I felt stupid in the stupidest way, you would be correct.