Modus Operandi

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

Well I am settling into my old method of operation or as they say in latin my modus operandi. I got like a slew of women online on twitter that, in my mind, serve as muses. They fuel my indignations at the status quo and if they find no solace in still being single and never married at 35+, they can at least know that there is ONE guy like me that is also single and never married that is somewhat interesting perhaps.

In my old days, I used to search for my reason for being, much like Thulsa Doom's search for the Secret of Steel. Do you know what it is? It can't be told or listened to, you have to learn it, physically. I think I have learned it. But as to my search for my reason for being or my purpose in life, I have divined that my purpose is to "go forth and multiply". Now you might think this equates to getting laid as often as possible. And I have wondered if I got the message wrong. But my take is that I should learn as much as possible with the purpose of teaching it to my child and then elect as my queen as interesting and confident a person as possible... and all I am going to say is bad things about the women of my past so I will shut up about that now.

But as to the future, my legend lives on. I must find some girl. The old fuels of putting them up on a pedestal too high to reach and thinking up and organizing and then erasing a lot of crap I really SHOULD HAVE said, are happening all over again.  But truth is... I am 45. It's a little late to grow a new personality now. And if my strategy in life is weak or a failure, well, it's all I know.

Besides, it's better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven.

I have had a long history of doing this. I use karaoke to sing to women who know I am singing to them but who have boyfriends. Do any good-looking women NOT have boyfriends? So about 6 months later people start to wonder if I am EVER going to make a move and eventually I get frustrated and move to another bar where I pick up the karaoke again and eventually find a new "perfect" girl to sing to. 

This last time was hard though because someone is attacking me from the bar anonymously.  A group of people.  I don't know if they are just unhappy ex-girlfriends or if they blame me for something but I am not going back to bars and that throws I big wrench in my modus operandi. 

If there is one lesson I have to offer twenty-somethings is that you should get married quick if you want to lead a decent life, because otherwise, you as a person, are destined to become more wiley.  Married women or women suddenly single or questionably attached, well, they tend to be liars.  Unless you don't lie in which case that means they can tell you don't lie so that means they never lie around you.  Congratulations, respect earned.  Welcome to being the most boring person in the bar,  but who in his mind is gonna SING his way into some woman's pants.

Do I sing good? Heh, I haven't sang anything in the last couple of years. I don't even like music in my car. All of that reminds me of the bar and I'm not going back there so there's no use in liking stuff that I am not going to experience again. 

ps. oddly not smoking, not drinking, not going to bars and not watching porn has me feeling far less interesting, but maybe being this grounded is more attractive than being the "excitable" person I used to be.