I not make good slave

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

My mother is the oldest of 13. She was raised in a farm in Costa Rica. And by farm I mean a shack and some land. As such she was mostly slave labor for the men who worked the farm. You could say she had a life very much like the characters of "The Good Earth", a prize-winning novel that I read when I was about 10. Except that my mother is far from pock-marked, but her upbringing by a stingy old man that was my grandfather, that slaughtered his own meat and dug his own wells, and carried his own children on his back, amazes an upper class aristocrat like myself. (snicker) It also makes me wonder often how did I land here, and learn so much, and for what purpose.

I feel that me, my brother and sister, had a harsh childhood. I feel that most children didn't suffer like we did. We had little food, but plenty of TV; little money, but a lot of playgrounds; not many friends but we had each other and my mother's library card. My mother was undoubtedly strict and although I wondered why she made us study all of the time and yelled all the time and cried all of the time when my father wasn't around, I feel that I am super-charged somehow because the harsh reality I was raised in, makes me very critical of things now. 

Maybe being a devil's advocate is in my blood.

She was very strict to her brothers I can tell because they respect her a great deal. She is a goddess to them especially because she came to the USA, which allowed them to visit several times and bring back a great deal of culture to an otherwise cultureless country. Oh the rich people want you to think there is a heritage there but the only heritage is how the rich raised taxes on the middle class to fund exhorbitant wages for government officials.

One of the mayors in that "socialist" state makes >$500k.  That's more than our president. 

My professor was right. When I was in graduate school studying for my major in International Finance, which I failed out of, he told me that all you need to learn about government and the world is right there in Central America. These governments have revolutions every 20 years or so. By watching things there you learn about what is bound to happen to America or in other countries.

I was under some CRAZY impression that I ws going to be a world leader. Hmmf.   Silly rabbit.   Instead of calming down and finding peace enough to get through school, I was working, studying, and scoping for chics at the bar all at the same time.

The fact is that I have always been a lonely person. My mother being alone and sad all of the time made me into the same type of person. My father being jovial with a lot of money and drinking alcohol sometimes, made me into that sort also. So in honoring both of them, I used to go to the bar, get jovial and then come home and wonder why I wasn't happy. Why despite all that I was doing was I so cut off from meeting women and talking to them?

A part of me believes there was an evil force that didn't allow me to meet women. 

My mother was always critical of my father drinking. You could say she would demand this and that and my father would do it. But when it came to money and anything close to seeing other men or having a job, she was forbidden. It was a strange dichotomy where she was strict but was also the one suffering. It's a strange thing to me. She wanted a divorce and I don't blame her because the more she made him miserable to worse he behaved but if it's her fault then how is he wrong?

Yet I love my father. Everything we have is because of him. He walks around humble-like but I know he is a perfectionist at heart. If only for his sake, I would be a Republican and simply dismiss lesser types that stick together like goo on your shoe. He doesn't have any political views and that's good beacuse that leaves me free to choose which side is worse.

But just as Republicans see Democrats as a goo-like hoard of scavengers that don't even want a mortgage because they are too busy partying it up with OUR tax money, I see Republicans as harem-lords who don't let people save up enough money to get a mortgage.

I had 10k saved up for the purpose of buying a house and right before I ws about to start shopping for a house, AUDI charged me for a $6000 car repair. How would they even know to charge that much? 

When have you ever even HEARD of a $6000 car repair?

It became clear to me that we weren't destined to be upper class no matter how hard we worked or saved. there are only limited slots available in the upper crust. I should have learned from Costa Rica, because 20 years later all of them have worked their whole lives searching for work and saving and buying land and NONE of them ever amounted to even becoming upper class despite what they've done. Always the government is stifling the middle class so that there are only a few upper class groups.

That's why it's hard to get a mortgage. That's why cars that you can payoff and save money on insurance SOON have a mechanic declare 1k or 2k of repairs because all that money you saved is better spent in their pockets than rewarding your good business sense. That's why gas and rent go up during a stimulus or when they raise the minimum wage.  The upper class get free room and board and negotiate for themselves discounts FULLY funded because others show up paying full price which is already marked up enough to cover their discounts.

It's sad to see it but government is supposed to be DOING JUST THAT, governing RICH people. Sure it's easy to replace workers with bots but what about replacing the RICH people?

I can see I am starting to lose my point again.

Jacksonville University is an easy school. People say that often especially at UNF. I think they say it mostly because people there can't afford a private university but also I think it is said because a lot of methods used there are MANAGEABLE. This meaning if you want your test retaken, they will allow it. If you want easier tests next year, they will change them. If you want to be able to finish your triple major in the same time as somebody else, it's doable. What you call easy, I call genius. It's simply better engineered and that makes everything there a joy to work with.

This benevolence has its drawback yes? I failed out of there because of "special" consideration I was given. And so it is with government that is "special"... say like the Christie gang. If you can call the Clinton gang a gang, you can DEFINITELY call Christie's gang a gang.

I wonder if everyone realizes that all of his people came from the US Justice Dept that was serving under the Bush Administration. I mean, what kind of cloud do I have to be on to not get that ALL THOSE people... took the buyout. They put random criminals in jail and now they've learn how to use the criminals methods for their own gain. 

I'm not saying they are criminals mind you.  Just opportunists... that are willing to arrest others for doing what THEY THEMSELVES are attempting to get away with.

It's like accounting. The worse person you can marry is an accoutant they say in business. It's because he knows the practices(GAAP) that were thought up or changed 2 or 3 years ago with regard to taxes and only other accountants have been tested on them and this is why they have LITTLE OR NO REASON to believe they will get caught when they newfangle some tax write-off. 

Right after he gets away with that and gets his bonus... it's time to cheat on his marriage.

And you could say that it happens to politicians the same way. As they watch other politicians weekends go off without a hitch, they wonder if THEIR state is deserving of a governor with a ROLEX.

Ok, so sidetracked.  My mother, was born in an area so uncivilized that the only way to survive, was to be civilized and strict. One child, walking off the beaten path, gets eaten by a mountain lion. No joke.  They once found the lion tracks.  One of my uncles fell from a tree and broke his arm and his hand went this way and that for 8 hours while my grandfather carried him to town. Unsurprisingly he is the NICE uncle, compared to the others. Oh, so my mother is much less respected by her sisters that were mostly born much later and weren't raised by her at all. In fact they are only respectful of my grandfather now that he is gone, I expect to hear a lot less from them.

And so it is in the world ya? As people become more civilized they become less respectful of those that forged the path that allowed them to walk right up the front of society.

Me for instance, in Citibank, I was one of the first people to suggest a Quick Reference Guide, I ruined email for associates(a good idea in hindsight), I recommended bathroom time and get your computer ready time.

My suggestions came to be highly regarded. Once I asked the Trainer to write a new procedure for a certain situation and then she said she would look into it. Then she turned around and back and asked ME how I would do it, so that she could put it into procedure. 

Yes, I was quite well-regarded at that time.

My brother was fired for saying his wife's mother died which was just an excuse so now people get a fixed amt of days off and giving excuses is not allowed. Good idea, because he would still have a job there, and it's because of him that the rest don't have that worry.

After all of that work and refinement, people at the call center walk right up to complex procedures take calls in 30 seconds with scripts that I helped design and then criminally abuse me on the phone because I am TOO WELL-REGARDED. I tell ya. It's enough to make you wanna start your own company.

My brother's boss, after doing a good job of checking up on his story and getting him fired, soon got a promotion for her LOYALTY. I mean, he's MY BROTHER! She always smiled after that and I can't fault her for doing a good job I guess, but "that's not loyalty".   The only reason he "lied to the company" is because his wife told him to.

I wonder sometimes, how my brother and sister can be such good people and fall for such crappy lovers. Maybe I have it too? I mean my first girlfriend was no bastion of refinement, calling me to make sure I knew she was cheating on me. My second girlfriend was not much better asking me to lunch so she could suck in all my advances and then DRYLOOK my ass into hopelessness at the end of the date.

There was a good batch of people somewhere and we deserved to meet them and fall in love, but we missed our chance somehow. Maybe we prefer delusion to our happiness; or maybe we were just raised with all of the manners and none of the money.

Maybe if we had the money we wouldn't have the manners ya?

I'm glad I put the title up first because I totally lost my point there for a while. So my mother was strict to me, I hated that. My father was strict to her, she hated that. My dad's shipmates were often strict to him because we would hear about it, he hated that. So in my blood I have a deep resentment for being oppressed but I have also spent a long time being used to it.

It's because I have such resentment for it that I believe I would make a good leader. I could not stand to see other people treated that way.

"I not make good slave, I have seen too much of the world. "

ps. This is a line from Cloud Atlas. It's starting to come together now after like 7 times seeing it but they still mumble some of the words so it's taking me a while to understand it all.