Larger than life

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

Sometimes I am larger than life.  But not really.  My BFF used to wonder at how I knew so much about stories and about history.  (we were once sitting in a bar and the old adage from "the old man and the sea" came to mind) The truth is that I was always more interested in scripture than history.  But I don't like there to be a debate about religion or scripture.  Those texts are holy so if there is going to be debate then "I" and going to tell YOU what the meaning is.  

But that is what has been normal for me all of my life.  If I feel people will read it, then I will learn it.  If I felt that my trepidations about Bartleby might help people, I might write about him more. 

I have always been smarter than your average bear, maybe a lot smarter.  But at the same time, people who don't want to study have learned a nice counter to that, common sense.  People with common sense LOVE to point out how dinky smart people are.  That's natural you see?  If you are worried about your safety, then you can't be intellectual and because intellectuals have always worked/studied while being safe, they don't understand what it means when people "mess" with them.  

It's violence.  Being interrupted or interrupting people doesn't make you a wit, it makes you appear less informed.  

"What I have to say is important and when I say it you can rest assured that I will say the right thing because my job and my experience are needed by my constituency and only for their benefit have I sought out this time to express my feelings and my decisions that I make always on behalf of my people who have graced me with the right to point the direction that we ALL will take but only if you will let me get in a word edgewise!"

See just memorize that and tape it to your arm, and you are ready to be interrupted on TV.  Just start it from the top or the middle and you will come across as smarter than whoever is interrupting you with questions that they already know the answer to.  (remember that scene from THE MASTER?) If you REPEAT the memorized phrase, you can expect the host to sit there in shock and then you can ask him if HE ever won an election. 

If you ask a fourth grader what yellow is, his answer might be corn or bananas.  But if you ask an adult what yellow is he might tell you the same but add that it also is the middle light of a streetlamp and that it is one of the colors of a rainbow and that his pee is yellow, because an adult will always have half good things and half bad things to say right?  If you ask a genius about a common thing like yellow... a whole bastion of things will spring up in his head like warning signs, the red shift of stars, frequency distribution, and he might even wonder about the label changes of soft drinks and he might think of McDonald's and then of Rally's hamburgers.  For an intellectual you see, it's a cloud of things he thinks of, so to ask him another question 6 seconds later, not only interrupts a HUGE amount of things he was willing to unload and speak of, it makes it obvious to other intellectuals that when you think of yellow... it would only take you 6 seconds to answer, which makes you appear less an intellectual, and more a hack.  

And why not, I mean hacks are needed in the world.  We need people to "not be afraid" to ask the hard questions sometimes.  Less smart people don't have to wonder why they got their job, we need the little people that don't understand to keep the really smart people from confusing us and making us EAT it.  

Just don't think that being a hack equates to being stupid.  

One of the things I applaud myself on is being an everyman.  I can understand and explain most things but not all things and yet I am willing to experiment with most things that intellectuals would never risk doing.  People out there LIVING THEIR LIVES tend to be less intellectual, people out there KNOWING WHAT TO DO tend to have marital problems and a disdain for others, so to have a perfect mix, you can't BE the ubermensch, you have to understand that NOONE is the best and yet still feel UNIQUE for knowing this to be true.  (like Nicholson in AS GOOD AS IT GETS)

It's like Rachel.  I realize she is not the most worldly person and that she looks awkward on comedies but she is not a comedy person, Bill Maher looks awkward on the news but can you imagine being told the news by someone that "kids" all of the time.  They BOTH are the best but in their own way.   

Rachel's beauty is in taking the truth and having it BE funny.  I mean "you can't make this up" should be her catch phrase because IT'S TRUE and by just being true her show is funny.  But you have to give her kudos for her setup because in educating everyone beforehand, she makes her section of the news understandable and digestable.  It's like being in a class at Harvard as opposed to being behind the overhead projector at a city college.  You could almost take the test right after her class and get an A.  That's excellence.  

But Bill's style is to take what is true and make it even funnier, a la NEW RULES.  Funny yes?  Let's take the Christie bubble and make it even BIGGER! Is that possible? 

Yeah, excellence comes in many forms I hope yall see now, and bigger is not always better, size does NOT always matter, and finding your G-spot is not all that they say it is, right Michelle?    

I still got Michelle Monaghan in my head for a couple of more days so leave me alone.   WOO! 

ps. Not sure if I would make a good husband cuz I like too many women, but maybe that's normal for single guys yeah?