The lighter side

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I never used to take pictures and now I'm learning all sorts of ways to take them. Today I found an old yearbook from college. It was from 1987 so was AFTER my very good year and yet the pictures were from both so maybe 50% of a good year. In there I found a note from my father who included $20 so that I wouldn't be broke. I remember thinking now HOW NICE it was to have money because other money was for work study, I couldn't afford to GO OUT.

It also reminded me of a difficult time I had with a certain video sale. I had rented some movies while I was back from college and here was the note from my father explaining how difficult it was to deal with the man that now demanded 200+ dollars in overdue fees. Since I had gone back to college and forgot about it, I was WAY past due and he was advising me that he would need to get a lawyer to deal with it and for me not to worry.

I was a royal mess at the time. People were telling me that I would not have as much financial aid in the coming year, I had a girlfriend that liked to kiss but that wanted more out of the relationship and who soon started seeing this other guy and then sleeping with him while keeping me on a friends basis. I can't say I felt treated badly since I didn't LOVE her or anything but I did like that people thought she was pretty so on a competitive level I wanted her back which just made me appear MORE the schmuck.

Hey whatda ya want, I was 20!

In one of the pictures in the yearbook, I can be seen with my other friends at the college newspaper. I probably mentioned before that I was the artist for the paper and that my work won district standing among other colleges. But that changed the next year when the professor in charge of it changed. I also was a model for the Art Department. It was slightly awkward work but hey work study money is work study money.

Shortly thereafter my world would change drastically. But that has happened several times throughout my life so maybe that was the breaking of the mold or something.

You can't change who you are.

I keep trying to heal up and become my old self but I don't know what that old self is except someone that is going to mess up again. I wonder also if I should work out and get in shape again because what if I have actually been SECTIONED and it's pointless? I know that when I start to feel pain I will react but it is against my nature to prepare unless I believe I will be effective.

Obama should prepare.

Russia is going to be a morass of "feed me" types that don't know if they can get away with thuggish behavior but they're gonna do it anyways. It's like I said before, people are getting used to the raping and soon they will wonder why stupid people leave their lighters at the bar when they go to the bathroom.