Watering Hole

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

So today I decided to go to church. 

It's been a LONG while since I went but I was thankful for the opportunity.  I realize now that perhaps the place where it all began was back at my high school which was also a Baptist church.  They had singing and praying.  Perhaps the thing you take most for granted, before you LOSE it, is your sense of community.  

Often I find myself wondering what it means to be the person that I am.  Is there more to accomplish?  In the old days, when I had bunches of money being accumulated for that fateful down payment on a house (which never happened) I sort of lost what I was trying to achieve.  I wanted a family but I didn't want women to want me for my house or my money so I strived to appear less and less rich.  Soon after that, it seems that I accomplished my goal.  Always I felt that I was intimidating to people at the bar because I had plenty to draw from so I strived to spend less, wear less interesting outfits, forgo jewelry and watches and even drink pitchers of beer instead of splurging on shots and mixed drinks.  

But it doesn't matter.  Eventually people knew who I was despite what I was trying to portray and if there is a lesson in this message today is to just be yourself.  Maybe even go where you ought to go.  If you belong in church go to church, if you like secrets and excitement and provocation, go to the bar.  If you like being calmed down go to church and if you like being bumped and dared and "endangered", go to the bar.  

It makes no sense in a way since I always thought of the bar as someplace docile or like a watering hole on the Discovery channel where all animals eventually arrive at some point but the reality is perhaps MORE real than I would like to admit.  You aren't in a community so much as you are in public, perhaps.    

Find yourself, then find people like you.