July 2018

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

SHUCKS

In July, I was doing great things online.  I was playing FFXI because they gave a free month in there somewhere(EDIT: this was 2019 actually) and  I was gratified to have my old feelings for "my little Hohito" reinstated and to "get busy" again having my character catch up somewhat to what endgame people had.  

I was seriously behind though and since I need other people to fight the elite brand of monsters that drop the latest gear, I didn't have the latest gear, and would not be getting the latest gear.  I was shy to deal with people and make friends enough to join a group since undoubtedly, because of harassment, that would mess up my partying.  It's worthwhile to note that several new things were introduced and that it seems like FFXI will be around for a long while so for that I am glad.  But on the somber side a LOT of the old people were still there.  Criminals... were still there, not at all shy about showing themselves and untethered to keeping their distance in any way.  Still, I enjoyed my time and I soon ran out of my monthly money because I had to buy MUCH more cigarettes after my sister moved in, and now that I can't afford FFXI I wish I would have engaged more with groups before she moved in and would have used that friendship to fortify my well-being.  

I probably need to use the game even now, maybe especially now, but I haven't played it recently.

Ok, so in these months I took some pictures and videos of the neighborhood, fully expectant to being the defender of the house and having my sister watching my back and somehow being "at the ready".  But that didn't happen.  I noticed that the neighbor TOTALLY ignored my sister and was focused on just doing his stuff to me and that made my life easier somewhat since I didn't have to "tank".  I had spent a good part of the month prior clearing out the room not only of the old bed and desk but clearing the closet that was full of stored and maybe useless items.  The desk was a huge undertaking since not only did I have to disassemble it but I had to clean out "stored items" from it as well.  

After it was all done, I was relieved and gratified that I had done such a good job.  We vacuumed it and fixed the window somewhat (that I believe my uncle accidentally busted with the "help" of his wife) and resolved to move all of her items that she could fit in there.  

She was from class.  She had a 300k house, a TORRENT of nice items made of wood and mahogany and whatnot, and she was bringing one of her cats.  I realized that this would be difficult but it wasn't.  I moved the desk to my room and was surprised at how well it fit in the corner.  But classy people don't do witchcraft...ok?  The very definition of NOBLE is that you can be trusted.  And maybe, if you have enemies, those should not diminish your reputation.  

Another thing that ceased was the phone calls.  Apparently if my sister is there it's no longer necessary to call the house at all hours of the day with sales calls.  So the ONLY thing that could possibly bother me was video games. And video games it was.  I was used to yelling at the games since not only is that a forced response to unfairness but it's cathartic.  It helps me vent my odd feelings for whatever unfairness I feel exists.  But one day this unfairness came to a head when I yelled at the game and I realized that my sister could hear me.  I thought to myself that I would let her know that THIS is what has been bothering me that you REFUSE to acknowledge.  THIS is the demons that show up out of nowhere.  THIS is what you need to know about what could happen if you stay here too long. 

But no, instead of taking my side she started to cough to show her disrespect.  Her answer to me being harassed, was to harass me some more.  At some point it came to a head and I dashed over to her room and asked her to stop doing it and then she said she would REFUSE to do that and would cough whenever she wanted.  What insolence!  I blew up and yelled at her and made it very clear that I didn't want that to continue.  

Days later, she started to abuse her power some more.  Ok, now this was terrible.  Not only did I have to stop myself from escalating it further, which was REALLY hard, but now she was just going to continue to harass me even when I wasn't doing anything.  And then sometimes she would just smile at me in that "knowing" fashion that tinges reality oh so slightly, giving my growing madness a fire that would not snuff.  

It became increasingly hard to walk past her door and not get angered at her "coincidental" coughing... for no good reason.  And then once, after I had cooked myself a nice couple of hot dogs and a pop tart and was all ready to sit down and watch a nice movie, she coughed at me as I passed by and I sat down with my nice food, realizing the whole thing I just prepared was just ruined now, and I just lost it.  This was NOT coincidental.  I asked her if she was involved with gangsters, I demanded to know what she was doing, I bitched and yelled and demanded that she explain to me what it was she wanted to happen and... she denied it all.  She yelled back that I was an idiot but because she eventually MOUTHED the words that she was NOT trying to drive me crazy, and that in front of my mother, I apologized and told her to mind her coughs in the future, which she agreed.   

Now this is 3 times worse than neighbors and church ladies.  And taken all as a whole, it's more than anyone else could endure, TRUST me on this, and yet I am supposed to believe that it is ME that has a problem.  It's truly terrible.  I'm like Trump over here if Trump was broke.  

Now, small coincidence, the whole city somehow calms down after these incidents.  No one needs to cough at me at the gas station or the mall anymore.  No one needs to push me anymore.  It seems all the more scary that WHOLE sets of people are somehow inside my house demanding appeasement when they feel I need harassment.. and then they get to "see" that it has been done.  

I HOPE my sister isn't working with others but I am forced now to consider all of this as though she will LIE about me, if I am forced into a corner.  I have taken steps to address this by putting music in an MP3 file and have addressed my instability by playing some Beethoven on the keyboard on the mornings I feel stressed.   It doesn't escape me that she started COUGHING at me not long after my father died and that the only WAY she could have learned this "tactic" is from my brother's wife who did this repeatedly over the years because she is herself unstable and gets offended easily when I interrupt her conversation or do whatever quirky thing she deems as insulting, which happens a lot and I have to constantly forgive her for doing it, for doing this "evil" thing that shoots down the happiness of my moment. It's as though whenever I get excited, it's time to cough at me... I mean YOU tell me, is that VILE?  

At my birthday celebration, my brother finally took his wife's side which he hadn't done before because he knows that me and her don't get along but frankly I am not so forgiving lately in this environment, this DRAINING environment, so I started "doing the do" on her after she shut me down,  and I am sure he didn't realize it was HER that started it.  

Keep in mind, he has training using AutoCAD and a mathematics background and works as a supervisor in a Civil Engineering company that does projects for the city... she doesn't work, takes pills to be normal, and her excellent SKILL is having been a bartender.  Now, me saying this sounds terrible until you realize she has attacked me for years, unanswered.

Ok, so I just jumped a WHOLE YEAR, lol, but I don't want to have to rehash all of that.  I don't remember last year's birthday party and my sister had not moved in at that time.  She moved in close to the end of October 2018.  

Ok, I have to stop so as to leave some more stuff to talk about.  That is mostly what I have had to deal with the past year though.  I have to say that the neighbor that lived across the street IMMEDIATELY moved out after the incident I had with my sister the first time, like within the week, and I suspect that the whole lot of them were squatters because one lady oddly stopped and stepped out of her car to ask me a question and told me that... even though people don't generally go out of their way to talk to me so I suspected some sort of spell craft would happen if I called the police on them.  

I have to say once again, THIS WAS ALL TERRIBLE.  I had been harassed off and on for years after I was fired and all the time I was with my father while he was alive.  My parents could see that I was somewhat bothered by this but ALL of that went away after my father died.  It was just like this latest incident where after the bomb lands they have to ALL stop the fire to show that someone was doing it, that someone controlled it.  Let me make that clear, they stopped harassing me ALL OF THEM after my father died, let that sit there in your head a minute.  I still feel that my sister is working with them in some way but I will have to leave it as it lays(Last of the Mohicans).  My cousins from Costa Rica were apt to cough at me too, and there's no WAY they could be involved with gangsters right?  So I have to consider that she is just doing what they did, which means doing it because I am being mean or scary or whatever THING is going on in their head that tells them to do THIS to make themselves feel better because I continue to exist, because I am guilty of what Sarah says SHE is guilty of which is "not dying". 

Ok, so next blog instead of jumping to the end, I will try to peel away events from August and September that show this "boiling" in some detail.  This is what they mean by putting you in the pot.  A witch doesn't put you in the pot by herself, she is in charge of groups of people, like gangsters, and they all hate you enough so that you start to become untrustworthy visibly or at least start to make mistakes.  And that's why I went to church because I needed to outnumber them but that church SUCKS doesn't it? 

I will leave it there for now.