November 2018

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

Poppycock

In this picture, you see that I am playing Paladin.  I was actually starting to feel like it too around that time in November of 2018 because I dunno, maybe I was stupid.  

So yesterday I wrote that Richard Marx should maybe be taken away and in hindsight, I realize that some people might actually take me seriously that he might actually be guilty of something so let me just say that some people are amazing like that at that age.  When I was 17 I was already in college.  When I was in 7th grade science they moved me to 8th grade honors Geology: Igneous, Metamorphic, and Sedimentary is all I can tell you about that.  Btw, "which rock are you?" makes for interesting pillow talk.  Ok... I'm a SHUT UP about pillow talk now, sorry. I keep forgetting how writing makes me feel when I'm venting.    Ok anyways so all this taken into account, it is certainly possible that Richard Marx wrote that song Hazard by himself and judging by his ever so slight smirk in his latest video, it probably doesn't take him long to write music now ("months") some 20 years later, so... that.  

You know one of the most calming songs in existence is the Gymnopedie, I looked up what it means and it means a sort of dance.  One of the reasons I play FFXI is because of the great music.  You really get attached to it and miss it after you quit for a while.  I like to play it without music but if I turn the music up really loud I really do get entranced by it.  

Ok so, in Bizarro world which is what my life was like this month in November 2018, my sister had JUST moved in, I was happily taking my place telling her things like keep the hair out of drain and make sure to stop up the drain to keep the roaches from coming in and I was finding out from her things about the cats and how they would get along.  It was all very banal but my spirits were picking up.  She was not working but she had a job lined up and was just taking a month off.  It was this month that she really "crashed my lights" as Christian Bale would put it.  I was playing Destiny and as usual the regular becomes the unreal and I can sense when the game takes a turn and becomes unfair.  I'm not making this up, it's been YEARS that this has happened and like I have said before it's poison.  At some point it gets to be too much and now you are having a meltdown over some little thing, but it's the ton of other stuff that has REALLY driven you down to your breaking point.  

Luckily, she had a job lined up and she faithfully applied for it and got it and was going to start in January so I kept quiet or tried to "understand" it somewhat ... all while taking HUGE hits to my psyche.  Keep in mind, this is ABSOLUTE hatred on her part and nothing coming from me.  I keep trying to hug her or explain to her but I really can't understand WHO I am talking to because IT'S NOT HER that would do this.  Also keep in mind that we have a connection that's developed over the years, people might call it love but it's not like it feels good it's like I can feel her feelings.  Well, it's 3 times worse when my sister hurts my feelings and the only thing I can guess is that it's because her son is under threat. 

Ok, I catch up in famous form next month.  I get burned down to the quick and I stop putting up with it which I guess is what happens to everyone right?  I mean I used to think being the "diamond in the rough" was a choice, like HOW NOBLE to hold steadfast and not become the coal.  HOW NOBLE to refuse to turn to evil.  But there really is no choice is there?  Everyone that gets burned by fire(hatred) has their outsides taken away, gets their MAGIC SHIELD diminished, or gets made into a sensitive or a bi-polar lot.  

ALL THIS TIME, I thought that being bi-polar(and they keep changing the name ya?) was some medical term for some rare thing that people are born with but no, you get stressed out by some GANG, like my brother's wife, or you take a bunch of STRESS from being a bartender and maybe have your life or the life or your child threatened several times and THERE IT WENT... your magic shield is gone.  You are now bi-polar.  You're cracked.  And you'd think medicine will help with this but NO the only thing that will SOLVE this is to STOP being threatened, to STOP having your life in danger, to STOP messing with gangsters... or, your going to have to put them in jail...  and women aren't too good at that yeah?  And now she's dragged my brother and my sister into her "hell" which is not hell because she's "dealing" with it, oh lmao... SO STUPID... but only a man would say that.  And now I am in it too and look at me, 10 YEARS later instead of thinking that I chose to "retire" I am just now realizing that they have AGREED (like making a deal with the devil) that they will live under threat.  And I having just found out that instead of butressing the flood of evil away from my family(like the Phoenix in XMen2), thinking that somehow I got too close to evil, thinking that all these YEARS of stress were doing someone some good, that I will now be receiving hate from them, from my family... I am really just aghast... or a ghast... nope just aghast, yup.  

So BIG surprise mental health is "poppycock" (I just realized why Poppy Harlow never smiles).  People get stressed out too much and the "doctors" give you some de-hydration pills and call it a miracle drug because you get side-effects that MAKE it unique.  Pffft.  ALL THIS so people can keep selling drugs ... even though we can all make these drugs ourselves... even though there is no real reason or danger that it be illegal... except that they use it as part of some screwed up "system" or "matrix" perhaps.  

You know think about this, what if there were NO DRUGS?  Would there still be doctors?  Would there still be gangsters? What if we all just agreed to stop doing the bad things, the really bad things?  It's SO STUPID.  

PS. This reminds me of that song "Our lips are sealed" but instead of how it normally goes sing it like this:

Can you see them?
See right through them... 
a hockey puck...
a poppycock...
a hockey puck...
a poppycock...
a hockey puck...
a poppycock...

DRAGONWHEEL.