Eight

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

I started to think what number would be the quintessential basic number that makes me ok with the world. I thought at first, five because five is SO QUINT-essential. Then I thought six because it sounds like sex and that CAN'T be coincidence. Then I thought eight, because if you twist it sideways it turns into the symbol for infinity.

My birthday has 2 sixes a 9 and an eight in it so sometimes I wonder if that means something. If you take the sixes and center the holes of the three you get s symbol that turns into a black hole. This is perhaps what a devil does. The NUMBER of the beast is 666 so if you get a black hole until infinity you have basically just a drain,

Destruction and chaos swirling around a selfish center that can never be filled... I wonder.

But just imagine for a minute, that I let go of that selfishness. I unhook the holes and instead tie the ends. Now let's take the ends and line them up. Let's put the two sixes on top of each other, in a controlled way, and treat the nine as separate. Let's take the two numbers now and, still attached, face them opposite each other. Now let's move them together. Slowly we have controlled the number of the beast and instead of a black hole hurricane looking symbol, we have infinity. An eight sideways.

All of my wisdom, controlled, identified, and used to achieve grace... not so much something that can last forever, but like the black hole, something that will break apart at any moment if not CONTROLLED.

Infinity is a dream but grace is not. Anything that is permanent is in a state of grace, perfectly controlled, but nothing is permanent, except the ideal of infinity and as such the symbol 8 sideways should identify grace as well.

So I have hope then that I was not marked at birth with these numbers.

Many numbers show up again and again to show mark me as ODD, like my telephone numbers when I was young. I still remember 366-6162 and 888-something and a bunch of easy numbers that noone else had. That made me have a fixation, slightly on why my numbers came out so nice.

But those days are long behind me. I realize now that while I was ignorant, I was tender and gentle and always looking up welcoming challenges, believing I could not lose and that all things were possible for me if I just gave it enough effort. As I searched for how to do things more perfectly however I chose things that were not what most people would have chosen.

I have done questionable things... a quote from Hal Jordan justifying his power to the new Green Lantern who had to replace him because Hal believed more power would allow him to do what a normal corps member could not, so he steals all of the power of the lanterns and then he becomes, what he became...

Luckily for you guys, or luckily for me perhaps, I have not allowed myself to seek more power or money. I have tasted so many things, that I refuse to enjoy anything new. I have a careful lock on my appetite and as it turns out it is easier to do this if you have less energy overall. It's also easier if you drink but meh I ain't doin that no more.

We all know that spending 3000 at Disney is much better than 300 and we all know your wife gets better and better looking the more often you spend money on her, especially when you spend TEN times the normal amount. We all know that a 6k Pinto gets talked about about as often as a 60k Mustang and in what ways. Put a fat diamond tie clip on your tie and see what happens to everyone's behavior in the coming month.

Once you get a taste of something and you like it, it's like doing cunnilingus for the first time... it's like a fetish or something. Suddenly you wonder, selfishly, if you could do this to THAT woman or THAT one. Twilight zone! Love and marriage just went out the window cuz you got a new skill and you just gotta try this and see how far you can take it. Shame on you hahahaha..... and ME hahahahaha.

So you get my point, it's normal yeah?

Eventually you get enough of it. Or your girlfriend reads your mind one day like mine did and pisses herself on purpose. People find out you been watching pornos and they look for your stash or mess with your video-streaming like they did to me at diabolique.com and you lose your wunderlust. You get slammed with 4k of bills and given jail time and community service time and your days of drinking are taken away from you, all of a sudden.

That's cruel and unusual punishment btw. You can't know it unless it happens to you but it is. Imagine putting on your best face and asking for some food in a drive-thru and then being attacked with BS over and over and then having a manager threaten you with calling the police and then as you wonder how this became a police matter, a police officer steps in front of them just as you get angry so that instead of threatening the people back for wronging you, the officer writes down all of YOUR behavior as offensive. And since you been drinking, then you are the "not of sound mind", so it's like someone kicked the dog and then told the police the dog is dangerous. Take the dog away officer it's scaring me, and it might be slightly PISSED that I kicked it!

Don't let this happen to you. I wouldn't wish that on a dog. I especially wouldn't wish that on someone I care about.

If it was me, I would close all bars. On the other hand I might be open to allowing some of the bars to stay open if they served food and then I would close all of the drive-thrus. Yeah I would need the bar's help but if they put enough pressure on people that want to close all the bars, like these drive-thru people that think it's a good idea to put an overnight drive-thru next to a bar and then treat the patrons like they are trolls not people, I betcha the restaurants would have to close their drive-thrus.

Yep, couldn't happen soon enough. Steak and Shake was the restaurant. What a good example to the other restaurants. This way when there are no bars left, and noone is on the road after 7pm or so, all restaurants can get rid of their drive-thrus. GOOD IDEA!!

If you wonder why I'm pissed I dunno, would this piss you off? If you had a wife and a job and children would you be able to endure 4k in fees and DUI school and a psychotherapist that makes you feel that NOONE is going around drinking and driving. Not to mention would you feel safe again? How could you go back after all of this?

You know the cops know your car now. You know how much trouble another DUI gets you and that they are looking for you. You know there is noone from the bar so much interested in keeping you safe from the cops as they are in "accidentally" getting you in trouble again from the "bar".

I'm not saying someone called the police from the bar. Nope. Not saying that.

A final word.  Don't be condescending.  REMEMBER my words about paper scissors rock.  You might think hahaha that pervert nobody from jail that likes to watch porn and drink knows nothing about having a real job.  Maybe you think I got what I deserved.

No.  Noone deserves that and most especially not someone in need.

Maybe you like to think that people in jail should stay there or that people that watch porn deserve to have their yonks yanked back and forth while they are trying to please themselves, maybe it's fun to mess with the EPILLEPTIC?!!!

That which you do unto others you do unto me - Jesus

It's a small wonder when you see whole groups of people jeer me on as the guy from the drive-thru, a week later some guy yells at me in the drive-thru just to let me know it's me and some more weeks later more people make more fun as they put face to story about what happened.  And you might not think this odd but as people watch you make someone suffer someone that doesn't deserve it, how bad can they feel to do it to a few hundred people later on?  People always justify themselves. 

Remember that commercial about insurance where someone tells the father "I'm watching you" but then the baby speaks up and says "That's ok because I'm watching you watching him".  Yeah well that speaks to our youth.  Children are learning and first thing that's gonna happen is we ain't havin' it, whatever corruption is, children ain't havin it.  As soon as two people look like they are sitting funny kids are like, daddy what's that! That's corruption!

So watch yourselves, guys, whatever is worth doin, is worth doin in public.  If you can kick the dog, then you shouldn't jump up and cry when you didn't read the whole loan agreement that was in a different language and you get your house taken away.  If you think porn is bad, don't cry foul when your brother kills his wife for cheatin on him.  If you think epilleptics have no use, well then you've never known love. 

Oh and one more thing... Galactus is coming.