How to smoke

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

Last night I got my Rachel fix and then right after her I got me some Alex.

OUCH!

Well I guess that's why you don't put Rachel next to Alex that often... why you ask? Well they might start talking politics and in your mind they start to tilt their heads and grab each other's shoulders and then.. and then... and THEN....

Whew. Ok segue into what I want to talk about. Good news though cuz I guess I am past all that juvenile blue eyed blonde dynamic I used to have about dating. I used to think that girls with brown eyes reminded me too much of my mother's side of the family, and girls with dark skin reminded me too much of by dad's side but whattayaknow... HAPPY MEDIUM. Hah!

I can finally be ok with dating my cousins!

In other news, YES I am still sane thanks for asking, I wanted explain about how to smoke better. Yep. It's legal and if you are gonna try it and like it first you must accept that it is evil or rather frowned upon. It's a big deal to do something that is frowned upon because even though you may be like me and not talk to a lot of people because, what could they TEACH you, truth is they could teach you not to do things that are frowned upon. I have said this before, it bears repeating, BRING HELP.

Now smoking at first is totally rejected by your body. People laugh at you when they see you cough because there is not mistaking your naivete once you let people see you cough. But as you become more resistant to the "evil" of the smoke, you are able to enjoy it more. You get in deeper.

Obviously you should first know of the different levels of power of smoking. 100s are the least powerful. These are the long thick cigarettes that seem to accidently burn most people. Be prepared for accidental burns and maybe even getting a cinder caught on your shirt or jeans with these cigarettes. It bears noting that ever since they started adding the FSC label to the cigarettes, the tobacco doesn't seem to want to clump together very much. This causes a lot more of the ash and cinders to come off which may seem off little consequence but I have had a lot of trouble with cinders burning my fingers while I am driving. I am just waiting for the day that I read about some guy that got one in the eye and was made a millionaire because of FSC(Fire Safery Content). I also don't like the idea that I have to relight the cig because that puts more butane in my lungs right? That means more chances of cancer. Be very careful of inhaling the butane because nothing dead belongs in your body, least of all somcthing that is made from "FOSSIL" fuels. It seems like they save some people just to infect a whole lot of other people with cancer. Hmmf.

But you STILL WANNA SMOKE dontcha! You are like millions in debt or you know your wife is cheating on you but you still want her or you have discovered porn and no longer enjoy talking to women SO, NOW THAT YOU ARE DOOMED, it's time to smoke.

Now after you have got yourself all nice and comfortable smoking 100s. Your "next level" of power comes by upgrading to shorts. Now it is assumed you chose to pick the lights becasue they put less tobacco in those. But the shorts have a shorter filter so you will get same level of tobacco but less filter. This is a big step. You are REALLY gonna like smoking at this point.

Next comes switching to the regulars. Regular cigarettes are meant for cowboys and indians. People that work out all day can smoke thses and still survive. You, mr. 8-hour cubicle guy, are not gonna survive these.. I used to do maintenace work all day long and my friend smoked these non-stop and I tried to also smoke these and only thing that happened was I became less-productive.

This is really too much power for a cubicle guy. If you want a slight decrease you could switch to regular 100s. Winston 100s was my favorite till they messed with the flavor then I went back to Marlboro Light shorts.

In an act of lust for power and maybe just to show off to your friends, after having smoked regular shorts for a while, you could opt for unfiltered. Yep, it's out there like the moonshine of cigs it is the MOST powerful of all. To smoke these is like swallowing some tobacco chew. Some people can withstand it, but noone believes that they are doing it because they like it. Still, there is a time and place where blowing a cloud of smoke SO THICK that it stains your shirt, is useful.

HOw do you know you have taking this little habit too far?

Well your first indication will come when your teeth start to yellow. Unoincidentally, smoking short regulars is like raising a flag that you don't like people, or that your intent is to use them or at least that you have so many demons that THIS MUCH smoking is all that will quiet them.

The smell on your clothes is another indication. You will have to wash your clothes after having worn them only once. This may seem normal except that people in Europe don't even bathe every day and here you are washing clothes more often than they bathe, and... you are STILL LESS HEALTHY than they are. Makes you feel like a moron doesn't it?

The most effective indication, which I have shared with my brother is coughing. Overnight, your body is doing all the same work you do during the day but healing your body. Your overfilled stomach gets regulat, your overstrained eyes get some much needed attention in the form of crust and puss. Your sores become all hardened and ready to pick, your nose is full of boogers and is ready to be flushed out. AND your lungs are filled with little cluster boogers just waiting for their turn to be coughed out of your system.

Now if you want my experience, I have come all the way down to smoking light 100s again. Why? Because only those cigarettes are SO light that they produce ZERO coughing the day after. If I smoke lights, I go back to coughing the next morning ever so slightly.

Now it bears noting here that the more you smoke the more you want to. I go up and down smoking a whole lot and then stopping it altogether, and then smoking a whole lot. When I have stopped for a while I enjoy that first breath of cigarette and by the time I get to the end I can't take it so much because the filter is used up at that point. But as I start to smoke more often, I start to enjoy lighting up more often. I only enjoy the cigarette as it is about to be put out, and then I have to light another one which gives me no satisfaction until I am up to the end of the cigarette again... and then I have to light up another one!

See. This is the addiction. The taste you get is actually the hit of smoke that is clearing a big hole in your throat that gets ever slightly bigger. So you need more of a hit, so you need more smoke or more nicotine.

This must be what it's like for girls who want big dicks. They can still get off without it but they are stuck in a loop. They want their hole to get larger even though they could be perfectly happy just fighting for that orgasm a little more.

This is what it must be like for fags. They must want more even though they already got plenty. It's no small wonder people want to look down on people like this but it is FAR more useful to understand, so that we can heal. UNDERSTAND.... so that we can heal.

Only a wounded physician can heal.

What I do is try not to think about fags and stupid people. I know it has nothing to do with me so I call up my friends and ask em who we gonna beat up tonight! Ya cuz when you beating on people you don't get curious about your ahole!

That last part was sarcasm.

So if you wanna understand what more is all about, what addiction is all about try smoking. Don't believe that crap that it's hard to quit. If you have the will you can do it. But stopping something you yourself like is like logrolling. Captain's logrolling.

Now, I will leave it to you to decide what is best.