It sounds so stupid

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I am amazed how little I can remember about what I want to write, once I am sitting in front of the keyboard.  If I am watching a movie, mounds and mounds of ideas come up, or if I am in the shower, or sometimes on the can or even when I'm driving, I can get ideas; but let me get all set up to write, after having set the anti-virus, then having loaded up Twitter or even after getting some food and drink, let me be all set to write something and the subject matter will escape me like the point of my dreams after I am awake.  

I am sitting here now, after having watched the President give the speech regarding Iran and I can't remember what I was thinking while I was watching him.  Oh yeah, I was partially thinking that maybe Secretary Kerry should try running for President again.  I mean it's not like we NEED Hillary(it just occurred to me that if I spell Hillary as Hilary, as in hilarious, it's kind of insulting) and even though she is a freight train politician(ie. with a ton of credentials), I am dismayed that better opponents than Elizabeth Warren haven't shown up to offer opposition.  Senator Warren is a junior member of Congress.  She may have all the preparation in the world  mentally but she is a lot like me I think in believing that people without a firm hold of where they are and what they are doing, who then move on, eventually lose the DESIRE to have a firm hold of things.  That's why she needs to "refine" her position and establish a power base in Congress which will be quite difficult in the coming years.  The difficulties Obama had, because he was a junior member of Congress when elected, should not be lost to the wind, they should be celebrated and counted as obstacles we can expect in the future.  

People can be as wise as Pai-Mei, as strong as Pai-Mei, as feared as Pai-Mei, but if you have no experience with people... POOF sorry about your fish heads and where'd that poison come from?  

Hillary is a great choice but more choices are needed and like I said earlier, all the rich people want is to be able to predict the future... we should not make it easy for them.  In fact we should make it as expensive as possible.  We should enjoy making the choice difficult just as they enjoy finding a loophole and abusing it.  We should relish in our "freedom" from oppressors by making the future as difficult to predict as possible.  THAT is real freedom.  

I believe Elizabeth Warren is fated to be a great politician.  

Fate is a part of nature.  Rich people determine fate.  If you are young and you are struggling to know what FATE is, fate is math.  Fate is what you can expect to achieve in life.  What everyone thinks, matters.  If you grew up in a fishing village and suddenly you are trying to expand your store in the city, people are not going to like you.  If you grew up in the city walking the streets at night and then put some criminals in jail, people are going to be able to expect you and laud your attempts to sell things.  Fate is simply an expectation or perhaps your potential.  Potential is the short word for we expect you to crack the gene code or establish warp drive, after you have achieved great things in school.  

But everything costs.  

For example, I had big dreams in high school.  I was a leader of the FBLA, skipped my senior year, planned to go to summer school and graduate in Math at 19.  But you can't expect great things if you don't have support.  That's fate also.  Rich parents would have kept me in school but I didn't have that.  Rich parents would have put my two siblings in college, but we didn't have that.  I wasn't fated to graduate college.  

An opportunity arose later somehow and I WAS able to go to college by using my employer's tuition coverage.  That's NOT fate.  

Now that I had sufficient money to cover school, I resolved to graduate with a triple major and go to law school.  Fate again.  Then my BFF gets kicked in the head, ruining my mindset at a time when I had an 18 hour course load.  That's NOT fate.  

In the back of mind you have to wonder if someone was watching and ALLOWED me to finish college or if it was all just luck.  It would have been horrible to never actually be able to finish college, and twice I was offered promotion at Citibank while I was going to school, but I turned it down knowing that a chance to finish college would be like a permanent upgrade as opposed to a perhaps temporary promotion.  And the promotion was not that great.  I was going to be a coach, not a manager.  And yet, there's no way to become a manager without being a coach first so it was kind of my fault, though at the time I thought I could SKIP being a coach if I had my full degree to offer.  Later on and EVEN NOW, I see that the degree ain't worth squat.  

I could have accepted that promotion in 94, so that would have been 20 years of being at LEAST a manager if not more and instead I spent it all as an associate, deluding myself that over time I would get the opportunity to go to law school part-time and maybe work for the company somehow.   I even went part-time so that I could be ready to go to law school as soon as I saved up enough money which of course was now much LESS money which made saving enough money that much harder.  The cost was 13k a semester so all I had to do was save 58k and poof I could start school...  despite working part-time. 

It sounds so stupid now.    

Degrees and the opportunities to get them are rare, but opportunities at management, are the MOST rare.  Even at McDonald's I practically had to bend backwards to warrant training to be a manager and once I started to train, I realized instantly that there were many others being passed over so that I could train.  People were working the drive-thru and cooking while I was back there watching cooking videos.  People were moving goods off the truck and making biscuits while I was learning how to count registers and open the safe.  People got their schedules changed all over the place while my schedules started to get posted a month ahead of time.  

Do you see how that works?  Trust, man.  Trust is everything.  Once you are management it's all about the trust and even an education gets trumped by that.  In fact you should take another look at your relative's business if you can and wonder at working there because once you have TRUST on your resume, like showing that you managed the store by yourself or that you were trusted to count money or that you could balance an inventory sheet, that is what is going to get you past that awful feeling when you read "previous experience required".   People don't REALLY care if you have experience doing the job, what they want is to cover their butts and if you can show TRUST on your resume, they can take a leap and trust you in a new job, even when that's not really a leap in your eyes.   

As an advocate to my many younger selves that hopefully want to grow up to be great leaders, I cannot stress to you enough that you MUST make yourself ambitious even if it's not natural for you to do so.   You must seek help or advice because some lessons will be plainly obvious only AFTER the opportunity to win has passed.  

If people offer you anything, quit everything else and take it.  My sister was once offered a promotion but would have had to leave town for months to keep the job but she didn't take it, even though, even for ME, that would have been a promotion, and she doesn't have a degree.  But she wanted to stay close by.  She wanted to stay close to her husband and her son.  She CARED about Jacksonville, pfft, which to me of course is like WTH were you THINKING?  She says she is happy but I know she won't see an opportunity like that again.  

So I guess what I am saying is to always have a plan to escape if an opportunity is offered.  Thinking about it more now,  you know, that's exactly when stuff like this happens is when you're happy.  

I betcha the day Alex gets comfy, she will be offered the night spot, the day Rachel gets her own corner office at the top floor, CNN will offer to double her salary to leave MSNBC, the day SECupp gets her own show, she will be offered a movie role.  It's like I tell ya, FATE is all those people watching from afar.  I liken those people to God, because that is what God is is just a whole bunch of goodwill.  Naw, I take that back, God is a bunch of people, who 50/50 want you to win.  And you know what those people are right?  They want to bet.  Yeah, those are the ones that drive Vengeance.  THOSE are God, those are Galactus.  Vengeance is natural and you know what they say about Mother Nature? 

It's like in the movie Clash of the Titans.  All the gods are gathered together, perhaps betting, with some of them acting on the little people but all of them knowing that it's forbidden without approval.  THEY are Vengeance.  Persius, because he was son of a god, was destined or fated to be a god but only if he could prove himself noble in the face of danger.  

A while back, I wondered how long until the Kracken/Galactus was unleashed, lol.  I'm still waiting... Gods HELLO! Guilty people over here!!!  Well... if vengeance brought people pleasure there would probably be a lot more of it so it's probably best not to ask for it.  

My fate was to be a leader and I expect it is going to happen but at the moment I wonder if I even want to be in good shape again.  I remember once a while back I was in the night club talking to some people.  I had told them that I wanted to build my influence and to get to know a great deal of people so that one day I might run for Congress.  It stings me now to see how that's not gonna happen but what stings more is that I remember this one girl, the wife of the karaoke guy, chuckling at the thought of me being elected.  And here I thought we were all friends.  What made her think I COULDN'T get elected I wonder?  And that reminds me of another time many years earlier when I was on the phone with my girlfriend who was a manager of a McDonald's and she was sitting there with her other manager friends and I told her that one day I would be a store manager, and all her friends had themselves a nice little chuckle, then my girlfriend whispered into the phone that she thought I would make a good store manager.  

Still, why?  Why the chuckling?  I don't get where people think I am not responsible enough to be a manager?  Oh sure I have had problems but I am not on drugs or addicted to anything or have problems organizing or being no time(perhaps NOW I do).  I went back and looked at my yearbook photos in college and I did notice that I dressed rather flamboyantly for a Baptist college.  Nobody else wore spotted leather pants or striped stuff or put Gerbaud jeans or Cavaricci pants on layaway like I did.  I was a nut for good clothes back then even though in reality I wasn't very rich.   I wonder if in reality to everyone else I was a wild person or had a wild personality even though looking at myself in the mirror, I thought I was totally in control and dominating my territory even though I didn't fight or drink or smoke or even ask women out... 

it sounds so stupid.  

PS. So what I am saying then is that when you think you are winning, you still need to TAKE that victory.  It's not enough to just BE ABLE to win, like I did most of the time, you have to MAKE yourself ambitious.