World Champion

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

I just left church and heard that the Jaguars were 1-0.  So there you go they are undefeated... for now.  That is the hope for all of us is to never be defeated.  It seems so simple really.  Some people if they have enough will are never defeated but it seems almost IMPOSSIBLE right?  You hear that in the election that one candidate got 100% of the electoral vote in Colorado(Hilary) and you think, "...this can't be real"(Generations)

But like most Christians, it takes on a different tone when it comes to broken-ness.  We are NEVER broken.  That is what it means to be Christian.  You can fall out of favor with God but you are never rejected, you are never... out.  To break from faith is something you hear about alot.  It means you have lost your connection to God.  You no longer believe the people care about what you say, or they may THINK you are a liar or that you are driven by some ALIEN purpose.  It's like a conspiracy.

"You are a secret SPY"

"No, I am not"

"Well, that's what a spy WOULD say"

You can never be healed if you depend on others' words or opinions of you.  That's why we have the Bible, so that you can LOOK IT UP and see if you are still Christian and not have to bow to MERCENARIES' opinions.

I have some troubles with church now.  I reported a bad person to one of the pastors and he responded by not believing me.  By saying... no.  Soon after, at our next Sunday, the person I reported I believed was supposed to be "talked to" continued to espouse her hate and use her mannerisms to express her disdain, which at a church should be forbidden.  Later, at the next meeting I expressed to them in some way that I did not need mental help and HERE COMES a guy to cough all the way through the meeting OBVIOUSLY on purpose at which point I return his disdain through some coughing of my own.

Now, far be it for me to say that this was all connected somehow... that this was some sort of conspiracy. but it's been at least a year I have been going to church and I was feeling pretty good up until that point, and now it's fallen apart.  My trust is broken.  They are obviously NOT wanting to heal me or allow me some sense of joy.  What they want is control.

Now on the other hand, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my past.  I tend to use up places and people.  I want to rule, and they don't want to be ruled.  I understand that more.  I tend to come across as pushy and maybe worse.  I understand wrath and though I have suffered a GREAT DEAL of hatred, over the years I have tried to just suffer whatever wrath came from me talking to people.  But now it's gone too far.  I cannot believe people would let my father die because they didn't like me.  I cannot believe sinister behavior is allowed AT ALL in a hospital, let alone a church.  But that's what I face now.

And yet still, I cling to my connections and faith that good people, once told about these things, will do God's will and wrath for me.  That's what having faith is all about, is just knowing that everyone can be healed.

Jesus died... so that ALL may come.

Say it with me... Jesus died so that ALL MAY COME.  That's reality.  There are NO DEFEATED people.  Even criminals can be surrounded by white cells and be brought back to grace.  That's even the motto of the USMC(US Marine Corps) Semper Fi... always faithful.

It's gonna take a while before I have respect for them again.  I am like an angel, and once lost my trust is SLOW to be restored. My wings open up and out and I start speaking and then you KNOW what and why and how and then you know you won't see me again... and that is the devil's goal right?  To take the truth and shut it up.  And if something happens to me, for reasons you can't prove, and it turns out those reasons were untrue and false... I will OWN you all.

Once a long time ago, I was really good at pool.  I have told you that I played a lot of billiards.  I played WAY too much in college and perhaps didn't study enough because of it but I went on to play more and continued to play throughout the years and I have to say that when I was good I was a master.  Life is a lot like pool though.  I could spill out pages and pages of stuff on that but suffice it say that no matter how good you are... strategy matters.  The layout... matters.  How you decide which ball to shoot after the next matters and your actual skill has to be used to temper your strategy, which is always changing like a block of clay, and even then there exists a psychological aspect about DOGGING your opponents psyche, his belief.  You have to make him believe he is going to lose... as much as possible right?  That's like witchcraft... but not really because it is a sport and you assume all of this is a play time between friends... meant to improve each others' skill.

One day I happen upon a billiards bar and it turns out the owner is a World Champion at billiards.  When I saw him, I was awestruck.  I had never seen someone I saw on TV, in real life.  After a time I found myself totally at home in his bar.  I was inspired.  If there was ANYONE worth worshipping it was THIS GUY.  And so many people disappoint you I cannot tell you(I am totally ok with the pastor's sermon's btw, he's awesome).  Policemen, doctors, I could go on but one guy that will never DISAPPOINT you is a world champion billiards player.  Even on a bad day you just KNOW he is faking it.  You know he has the skill and you KNOW he is faking it.  That's why I adored him so much.  I didn't tell him because he is a player after all and then we'd be all like "why don't you come work for me?"  I didn't want that, plus I had a great job already.  So as much as possible I came over to his bar and played in his tournaments. I tried to "pretend" that I couldn't play when I could and this covertness and deceit and all, I could still chalk it up to SKILL or competitiveness.

Ok so, ONE DAY I go in and he has had enough, he is sure that I am there to shark him or something and it's the afternoon and noone is there so he tells me to play him so I say ok.  We play nine ball.  The goal of nine ball is to break the balls and try to get the nine ball to go in one of the holes on the break.  The nine ball is in the center so that's kind of impossible so you have to break the balls hard so that there is more play and really you kind of have to get lucky even though I have a method that works a decent amount of time... heh heh... PRACTICE my friends is the mother of invention... or something like that.  Wait no, it PAYS to Discover, yeah , that's it(I say this alot).  Anyway, so if you don't make the nine ball then you have to run out whatever balls lead up to the nine ball that didn't fall on the break.  There are nine balls total.  This game is much more strategy than 8 ball but as it turns out people are SO GOOD at this game that some of them can shark you easily, which is why you should ALWAYS play 8 ball if you haven't played a lot of pool.  8 ball is kind of hard for anyone and much more difficult to master.  It's like poker.  NOONE is a master of poker because it really is just too difficult to control.  The best people lose REPEATEDLY at poker... over and over again... as they do in 8 ball.  In 9 ball, some people almost NEVER lose... trust me on this.

Trump is like this guy.  You just KNOW he is awesome.  You know he is faking it, you know he knows well what he is doing especially with people and you know the skill is there even if it doesn't seem so.  I kind of admire Trump that way but... I don't like that he fired Comey and I am going to leave it there.

So me and this WORLD CHAMPION play for the first time and we lag for the break and I win that and then I break ... and the nine ball goes in... HAH!

See, so for that infinitesimal moment... I was KING.  He knew his place and it was called... beaten! I was like the Jaguars... and for the next few minutes, although I should have run out of there and let him stew for weeks but I'm too nice to do that, I was WORLD CHAMPION... and then he said "hey we gotta play another one". 

PS. An 8 sideways is the symbol for infinity, it's like saying we are all the same and 9 is an upside down 6 which is the number of the devil.  Coincidence?  I don't think so.