December 2018

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

Bombay

I've got a secret, I've been hiding, under my skin.  My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain IBM. 

I don't know when I started thinking that ALL movies were about me, like this STYX song that came out when I was a kid, but it happened.  I thought, "Oh my God, they are stealing my life story and putting it in a movie."  Then one day I noticed another one, then another one.  At some point, I started to think that everything was "all about me" and that's not too far from the truth, if the truth is that everyone goes through what I am going through.  And it's getting stupider and stupider.  I am noticing by reading previous blogs that this has been an EON that I have had this happen.  

Once I was at a bar let's call it Bombay Bicycle Club and some people including a guy named Bobbie that I was friends with were joking about "some guy" that was always having his feelings hurt.  So I gave my opinion about it and he gave his and then he looks at me, straightfaced, and (paraphrased) tells me "the only thing that maybe explains it to me is that he must LIKE it".   Yeah, he was referring to me.  But no, I don't like having my feelings hurt.  If I unknowingly hurt your feelings I will put up with having my feelings hurt so long as I can figure out what I did... unwittingly!  But I don't hurt people's feelings... ever... and I know that if I start to ENJOY talking about someone, I know that I am doing it intentionally and then I have to go hate myself for a while. 

This mostly happens after I have put up with it a while so it's always a smaller payback from what I suffered.  

Ok, this is December of 2018.  This Christmas they all bought me a new XBOX to replace the one which stopped working because of  faulty power cube.  I resolved not to use it online since I was convinced that the error occurred online but "who knows".  I now use it online and it's fine.  That's reality.  You have to solve errors right away or else you go back to not caring that something terrible happened.  This is like my father.  It was terrible but I can feel myself starting to not care about it.  It's like my job.  It was wrongly taken from me but I have done some diligent things like talking to them and sending them emails and frankly, now I'm kinda over it.  

What else? 

After moving a lot of stuff around when my sister moved in I found some old files and I resolved to post them online to explain my "side" of things but that got old quick after I had to spend days in bed after getting attacked and not wanting to do anything for days.  

Ok, so long story short I finally yelled at my sister, I don't know why I said I would go into it since I have already explained that I thought she was dealing with gangsters but I don't remember exactly when it happened.  I read over my old blog in May and that one has the date off and I have to fix it.  Twitter is a good way to find out what I was thinking but it's WAY too many tweets to go back and do that quickly.  I have noticed that I have more interactions on Twitter lately but I can't talk about that since I'm SUPPOSED to be talking about December 2018.  I remember wanting to have a word processor to type stuff and having to use Notepad like I am doing now to copy & paste stuff.  But this STILL is not a good way to write a letter since I would prefer to use templates from AMI and AMI Pro.