It's cold and dark...

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44


Alone. This is what I am used to. Time that I have spent alone has taught me to relish profusely the time I spend with someone meaningful. I believe it is better to have no time spent with someone disrespectful than to spend some time with many such people. There are two types of people in this world and I know you guys hear that a lot but it's true. There are some that value their reputation and those that wanna fake it enough until they can point out who the weakest link is, that's not THEM. Without explaining what I mean too mucb, suffice it to say that most people tend to want to speak the truth all of the time and use their minds to put their best step into motion. Some few people though like to use masks, create mistrust, use bs to lend an ear to a person's misgivings about a certain subject. YOu know what I mean? They like to yank people's chains just to see how mad they get.


Well I don't get along very well with people of that sort. It is funny ina sense though cuz if you are high energy you are constantly doing things and hey, wouldn't it be fun to mess with people who were slower. Sometimes I wonder about this and it gives me pause. Whole movies are devoted to "heroes" defeating the zombies that are trying to kill them and it makes me wonder if I too, am supposed to be outdoing and besting all of the "slower" types.


So there it is. You can lead by example and hope people will follow you, or, you can "eat" them, lol, hope your hungry!


In the game I have not had a lot of time to play now since I am now working full time again. It's fun cuz I feel I have more energy and am way more tired now. it's healthier I think. It's too bad people at work are such muckarucks. I tell them how to improve stuff and they send me errors for stupid stuff. I tell people what is professional and I become the "defiler". I mention one thing about people in general and they all rain down on me like I should be burned. I mean I don't intend to have people rain hell on me, but they do.


Well, I get used to it I guess. Eventually I will just have to go. But I have become more accustomed to full-time which if I have to find a new job, at least it won't overwhelm me. It certainly won't tax me intellectually cuz right now I work with a bunch of monkeys. Well I better be nice or somehow someone there is going to read this and I will be left wondering why people don't like me.


The job is easy enough though and the schedule is so late in the night that I actually get a good hour or two of quiet around me where I don't have to listen to other people except for the customer. I am so audacious sometimes that I wonder that I am not better accepted.


The reality is though that my personality is such a nice guy-jerk guy type that I always end up with people raining crap on me even though I don't mean for that to happen. It's only of late that I have realized this. I used to just think oh well people can't handle my personality need to move on but how to change my personality? I don't know. How can people be nice all of the time? Shouldn't everyone have their ups and downs?


I used to be so interested on how to improve things. All I find myself saying nowadays is "I don't care".


I have begun writing letters to this girl in Costa Rica. It's was my mother's idea and it is rather interesting keeping up with her life but the downside is having to wait for her to respond. I might just give that up cuz I don't even know what she looks like and I like her. That's just wrong.