Angry tooth

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

It's a hard thing to look at your decaying tooth and then wonder about your life.  At your core, you feel that it's possible to regenerate that tooth, to have your smile again.  It's funny that never before did I feel this ENVY towards others' smile like I do now.  Such a simple thing to have, such a simple thing... to lose it.  

My life is like that.  It's a great deal decayed.  I have many enemies that I can't report or touch or even affect.  My attempts to capture them on camera or to point my finger at them have failed and although I can maintain my current level of happiness by cutting off contact with possible enemies by not going out or by cutting off the internet cable, by staying CLEAN, I feel there is no way perhaps to get back to my previously happy and sociable karaoke-singing self.  

It's like I have been warning you with government.  It only turns ONE way.  You get more and more corrupt but your reputation only gets worse not better.  The controls only work one way, they go in, they NEVER come out.  And while the billionaires have got you all fooled thinking that the Republicans are the ones to be afraid of and that they are the crazy party of the rich people, who somehow know a lot of poor people that are divisive and prideful churchgoers... I know, that it's the controls we should be fearing.  MORE GOVERNMENT is what we should be fearing or at least should be  slowing.  Monopolies are happening everywhere and businesses are going ape-shit with people's rights and with employee's wages.  

Do you remember studying about Caveat Emptor? It's a certain policy that was put in place right before civil war broke out in Europe.  It means "let the buyer beware".  It means the government is basically in collusion with the businesses.  Instead of the government, watching out for citizens, they let the businesses have free reign.  We don't let the government work in collusion with religion right?  So why do we allow it to work with businesses? 

Hmmf.  

Trust me when I say that only after it is too late, after the musical chairs have stopped, will we realize that we can't TAKE AWAY the controls.  And if the big regulators aren't there to break apart the monopolies, if what they do is break up AT&T, and BELL SOUTH, a utility, and then basically corral all those services into one or two private companies that are FREE from having to risk jail time while they decide instead of having the public's interests at heart, that they have the stockholder's interests at heart, then we have already lost.  Our regulators are basically waiting for checks in the mail and sitting on their hands.  Private companies/corporations/gangs with license, are making MORE money than the cities they are a part of and what that means is... more mercenaries than cops.  It means more charity balls, than town halls meetings.  It means more chamber of commerce's "what does your lordship propose" instead of ELECTIONS.  

It's a lot like Katie Holmes said in Abandon, in a moment of clarity, her character who is brilliant and wise speaks to her "too nice" guy friend on his way to a protest and with a sigh and says "you can't stop globalization".  

When beautiful women lose hope, it's compelling.  Remember the elf queen in Lord of the Rings?  "ALL will love me and despair!"  Yeah, that.  Men are force.  Women are charm.  That's the happy sad face of theater.  Force is preceded by laughter, charm is preceded by melancholy.  Women know all about melancholy, I'm guessing.  

I'm wondering where is Ann Coulter.  I need her to be watching this race for whatever it's worth.  I have a feeling her razor sharp wit will be needed to at least figure somehow into the election if it's going to be fair.  

Once I had a sad conversation with a bartender girl that told me "everybody lies".  To which I thought to myself, that's crazy I don't lie.  It's not normal to lie.  Yet, maybe it's 50/50.  It brought me down.  Still another girl I picked up at a bar told me that EVERYONE smoked pot, and knowing who she was, I was sure that she believed it herself, so I have wondered at it myself also.  Is illegality just something EVERYONE ponders?  I don't ponder illegality, but I DO ponder plenty of stuff that is legal.  If you've ever hyper-ventilated before sex, smoked a regular cigarette half down to the filter at once and then tasted your scotch, slightly spun out you too powerful muscle car, then you know what to do when you want to "safely" test extremes.  That's what I do or DID, I guess.  

I find myself now realizing that my ordered world is not 60/40 or 70/30, but it's even.   People lie to defend themselves even if they are good people because that's what it means to lie is to attack someone, so to defend against an attack, you have to return attacks.  Lying is the LACK of peace.  Questions are a LACK of peace.  Questions should be shared by people that are on the same side.  

This makes you wonder at journalists yeah?  I mean aren't we all in this COUNTRY on the same side?  And yet some people think it's just plain normal to lie and to ask questions that are none of your business and to feel the pregnant woman's belly because after all, that's the community's baby, yeah?  

Well, food for thought I guess.  Me and my angry tooth are taking a break.