Audi is ferdacolibri, unless...

BLM:75 WHM:66 SMN:43 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:43

An old photo of Inverno when we first got to the new areas. It seems so long ago now to have been out with that group of old people but in the back of my mind I believe that had we all broken apart sooner that Inverno and Fernanda and Emagyen and Mithrandel would all still be playing but happy separately. Who knows?

I saw Uchipu doing one of her Japanese shouts the other day and felt tempted to say "Hey" but I don't want possible bad feelings to come to the fore so I will just leave the past where it is. I still miss the time before the linkshell fell apart. Somehow I feel maybe I was at fault also. I remember that people used to call me some name and that immediately brings up my dilemnas at work. Do I just bring out the worst in people unintentionally?

Today, I took my car to be fixed and they found an oil leak to the tune of $800 to fix. what a racket! I hardly even use the car and the car is having problems, that's just a bunch of BS. I wish I knew if there was some legal way of challenging this but there probably isn't. How do you prove a mechanic is lying?

I have had to take a sick day at work because of the problems there and have now used up too much time off. I feel like somehow I could have handled this better but I honestly don't know who to talk to now that can help me out. The HR person recommends I seek mental help because I guess the whole group couldn't be wrong, the supervisor is trying to cheer me on despite everyone's reticence to treat me as part of the group, my own sister admits that I may be a different person from the person that I used to be and I just keep fighting them off knowing that I am the same that always have been. I'm fine! Maybe a little sensitive, maybe a little angry, maybe a little irresponsible, but that doesn't make me a bad person! Just cuz I have a bad personality doesn't give people the right to throw stones. My personality is a result of my upbringing and I wasn't raised to hurt people or to break the law or to do evil shyt. I feel I am normal and that's that. Isn't that the fundamental principle behind genius to question everything?

Well, let's see, now I got that off my chest I guess I better cough up my $800 hate fee and just get past this month's bill somehow. I betcha if I had a better personallity though that right now I would have paid $60 for a headlight and serviced my car for $150 making the total $210, instead of the $1300 total that I am facing for one bad exposure to a bunch of hounds.

I need to figure out a way to get myself in a good mood but I can't do it just now. I am washing clothes and even though my car is fixed and running better, I feel it was a mistake to buy it and that is bringing me down.

My beautiful car.