Addiction to a zero

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The hardest thing to explain to a child is the concept of addiction.  She will not understand WHY it is you want him or her NOT to want, what they want.  The heart wants what it wants as they say.  As such it's almost impossible to put to words the feeling you get when you love a person.  I have spent a great many years NOT WILLING to say the words, I love you, even to someone I was sleeping with simply because she was not the end all and be all of my humanity.  She was not the one.  But why?  Who is this person that resets everything we know and how can we approach SUCH a person... with the intention of screwing it?  

What?  

So, to do this you must first delve into yourself.  Obviously, the first thing you will want to do is to imagine that person naked.  This is what they say to all people who have stage fright.  Imagine them naked.  In Erin's case I need to imagine her without makeup maybe and then maybe bald-headed with an eye patch, there ... NOW she's approachable, lol.  But seriously, that's what they tell you to be able to speak to people onstage is to imagine that they ALL feel shame because they are naked, thereby making you the one WITHOUT shame and therefore superior.  See that?  Now, this is way ahead of what my point is and that is to explain love and then explain our duty to people in this country.  Then we will explain what an addiction to zero is.  If you understand what addiction is, and you are trying to explain it to a child, you might start with something NEW like Praline Pecan ice cream or a Reese's peanut butter cup or maybe a nice drive at 100 mph or maybe 80mph, just enough to prove a point.  Once you like it, you can't stop liking it because now you KNOW you like it and now it's an option.  I don't like to make stuff forbidden but there IS stuff out there that is supposedly just that, even though curious people will STILL want to know why everyone is doing this forbidden stuff... like drugs and prostitution.  And once someone takes away what you know you like, there are going to be some bad feelings there now.  There is scorn.  That's why men, men like me, WAIT for a woman to make a move.  Now I don't mean they make a move like they walk over to me, I mean they give me the slightest indication that they are interested and then if I am not interested... it's not like I SCORNED them.  Women are not beholden to this logic btw, since most of them want the CONQUERING of them to take some time, which is really ridiculous I mean WHY so much ado when what will really matter is whether we talk and get along and find similar interests.  

Donald Trump did it best when he offered his number to many women, called a bunch of them up and then chose from ones that wanted a life with him.  I don't see anything wrong with that.  But he did LEARN from his first couples right?  Well, that's how I had to learn too.  I cared too much and then, well then I got a reputation perhaps of caring TOO MUCH.  So now people think it is my own fault that I am too afraid to walk up to women who show me no interest, but NO it is not that.  

Ok, so sidetracked.  So when you explain addiction you explain it as a bad thing.  People can take away what you like and now they are a drug-dealer, good job, you found the HUN ARMY, and now you are at their mercy.  You need their drugs and they give you drugs at their pleasure.  So word to the wise, watch what you like and NEVER like anything too much and always make sure everyone KNOWS you like whatever.  Addiction is abhorent and habits are like addiction.  I didn't realize this so I kept on drinking and driving and kept on "feeding the poor" by buying a lot of people shots and playing TV games at the bar.  I tried to keep to myself but I wanted people to feel welcome around me so I talked a lot, and oddly... SOME people at the bar... don't like to talk.  

Who KNEW!

Ok, so the point of that is to tell you that as you become addicted to the band, people will come around and say bad things about the band.  As you become addicted to the TV, people will come and change the channel.  As you start to have your ONE favorite drink, people will forget how to make it correctly.  

"How do you make a scotch and tonic with lime again?" 

In my mind this is shitty people but now with hindsight, I may have been provoking people with my addictions.  I also said I didn't like basketball once and whatdayaknow EVERYONE loves basketball all of a sudden.  People that are like me don't take hints because people like me don't believe in hatred or in territory or in other people's private business... OUT IN PUBLIC.  So don't expect me to react to some hint.  

Oh, so addiction is just that, you liking stuff too much which makes them want to interfere.  You ever think about public displays of affection(PDA)?  It's a public display of ADDICTION.  See that?  And this is abhorrent.  You are implying that others should be addicted not just to a woman but to YOUR woman, which is not a very nice thing to do to someone. 

And that is what addiction is but it's also what love is.  Love is addiction.  Love is the one addiction everyone is ok with.  It is not abhorrent and people already in love have no problem with PDA because they can empathize.  That is how you explain it to a child is that to be addicted to someone you must have sex with them but if you really want that to last or become all that it can be, you must BECOME addicted to them, before sex.  You must miss them when they are gone.  Remember that saying if you love something then set it free?  That's what that means is that if you miss each other, if you are both ADDICTED, then society welcomes your addiction.  Other people are then ok, with you being together.  They do not abhor you.  

Now being gay is an addiction also but in a much more chemical fashion.  You cannot forget sodomy and it is unhealthy and dangerous.  People know to stay away from burial mounds.  Why?  Because the germs that decompose flesh are there and they have no trouble decomposing LIVING flesh by mistake which is perhaps a good reason to stay away from the BAR!

Just saying.  

But also your feces is perhaps the most radioactive food there is to these germs.  That smell is not just for show.  You are in danger of those germs if you smell the fumes and indeed the very FUMES are dangerous.  Small wonder that messing with your anus, your "dirty" anus, can spell disaster.  

Trust me on this.  

But there is a good side.  Just like messing with heroin(very addictive), which I don't know anything about or with sleeping medication that can kill you(Michael Jackson) or with orgasms while stangling yourself(David Carradine/Bill), there is a reward for OUTRAGEOUS behavior that really makes no sense to someone that simply has some sex and gets all of that out of their system with their spouse.  

Masterbation and porn is this.  It's legal just like being gay is legal.  But this addiction, this WEIRD addiction, can be abhorrent.  You wouldn't do this stuff or talk about this in public.  The public, once it finds out, will not softly applaud your "interesting view" on orgasms.  And if you think about explaining this to a child that THIS is how it should be.  It's just stupid.  And if you have ever been just about to masterbate and you are bothered and looking for stuff and trying to figure out WHERE is that lotion and ice and thingamajig and then promised yourself you will do it THREE times this time and then gave up after your first orgasm.  Then you understand what stupid is.  EVERYONE married isn't running around looking for their favorite porn or for their favorite item to use or for the remote control that just got lost JUST when you wanted to MUTE it... everyone ELSE is happily married, addicted to their spouse that doesn't make them look like a rabid dog when they get horny.  Gay people can't wait long enough to get a girl horny so they "wait" for a guy which a lot more like NOT having to wait.  And why should you.  Addiction is a serious thing.  Addiction is madness.  It's no small wonder that you should NEVER stream porn.  Someone could make you crazy and control you.  Word to the wise.  Btw, I have gotten rid of all porn in my house.  But someone has interrupted my porn in the past and since this streaming is new, I warn you that it is dangerous and MUST be controlled.  

Oh right, Muslims. 

Well, I was wondering why the church was not praying for all those poor people that died and it occurred to me that they don't like the gays.  If there is ANY exclusion of people, I cannot be a part of it.  And this has nothing to do with Islam it has to do with prejudice.  Now as I have explained addiction is abhorrent.  It's no small matter to a church and to a society, to control addiction.  It is madness, as I have spelled it out for you here, but you cannot exclude your own people.  I can't say I love the gays because I am not gay though I have strange tendencies, and yet it still does not make me mad, I don't allow that, but I have to wonder if those people are getting treated like I am, like THROWAWAY people.  Maybe I can't see it.  I know there is a math there and that at the center of the country, where serious people discuss the fate of others without blinking in a boardroom of their peers, that the powers that be will include only the most trusted and the most sane and the most loyal, with power, but is it MATH?  Are gays being excluded because of this "proclivity"?  

I am of two minds.  I BELIEVE in telling our children everything good and then, once they are old enough, letting them choose and risk to their hearts content, but SHOULD I warn them off about gay people.  We can be soft about undocumented people or illegals but we ARE being soft.  They don't have A RIGHT to be here.  Is it the same for gays?  Sodomy IS dangerous and addiction WILL happen and once it does that person will NOT want women again and the country will not have children and MORE and more people will not want to have children which is a danger except when you think about people addicted to money who ALSO don't want to have children... lol.  Because just like the kid explained to his dad who wanted to learn how to play SIM CITY, "don't have a kid because all they do is EAT!"  

Such are the dangers.  And sadly the rich people in power ALWAYS seem to have money and don't have any children.  Oh ok so now I am getting to Donald Trump and why we need him as president.  Have you heard of ... wait did I finish my point up there?  Yeah ok , addiction to a zero.  Masterbation and porn are addiction to a zero.  Gay people are close but not as bad since technically they MIGHT be in love but as you can see now, only the women are in love really... the men are changing partners ALL OVER the place, lol.  But you can see how that environment allows women to be as casual about their affairs nearby without the fear of someone ADDICTED to them or CARING TOO MUCH.  As before yes?  Like Trump in his early years?  Like me?  

Boy, you are learning all kinds of things today aren't you?  

Ok so why do we need Trump.  Well, we need Billionaires.  Have you ever heard of the game The Horde?  It was a 3DO game that allowed you to build stuff much like Civilization Revolution but was much more simple.  The towns came pre made and you have to build walls and fund knights and employ all manner of expenditures to stave off the horde of demons and keep your city alive.  It's good training tool too if you ever want to run the world... what?  So in the game there is this dragon that you can hire.  You might think OH BOY hire the dragon! Yeah, you think it would be a good idea except that when he breathes fire he doesn't just breathe fire on the enemy... he breathes a big long line of fire.  As you might guess, this tends to get a whole lot of hordelings if they are all bunched up together out in the wild but if you use him in your city... SPLOOSH... there go some civilians, there go some houses, there goes the wall.  So that's why we need Trump.  Because of the wall?  No, because of that saying that came with the dragon whose name was Mongo or something.... it read... 

Mongo, he might be a moron, but he's OUR moron.  

And that's billionaires.  They are morons.  They don't get it when it comes to religion and equality and laws and rules... and they don't have to.  What we need is a dragon on our side.  What's the first thing that happened once this influx of technology and computers occurred.  We got hackers.  People speaking for you online, messing up your reputation online, even buying things for you and making your life complicated all because of this misplaced trust in society in general.  And what was the solution to this?  What was the solution to hackers?  What IS the solution to hackers?  We need hackers on OUR side.  

See that? We need Snowden back.  We don't need him to come back and get forgiven and get put in mental facility... we need him to TRAIN the future NSA.  We need OUR moron to fight the morons.  We need our moron Alex Wagner, to fight the morons.  We need our Billionaire to fight the billionaires.  We need our Jesus to fight the Jeezuses.  In all things we don't understand, like places where no man has gone before(Star Trek) we need our Kirk(Scottish for church) and we need our PAIN.  

Now, "Kirk to Enterprise."

PS: Well... I was gonna end it there but I forgot to mention our duty.  We have a duty to leave each other alone.  Muslims can hate gays to their heart's content.  You can hate ME to your hearts content.   But we are all STILL a society.  We all can insult each other BECAUSE we share the same laws.  Do you understand?  Because an understanding... IS THE POINT of the Constitution.  I can drive drunk, stick a thingamajig somewhere, say increasingly exponential things about the inverse approximation of a Riemann Sum and I still can't be put in jail because we all have an UNDERSTANDING.  That is what manners are.  That is what they call RULES of engagement.  Once you lose that, you have chaos.  Now I have mentioned before that I have SPARED many people from my wrath because I did not want to fight.  That doesn't mean that I can't, it means that I DIDN'T.  What... was my point?  Oh, so we all have a duty to leave each other alone.  Every person is holy.  Remember the Indian giving Wesley Crusher advice?  "YOU are a holy person, Wesley."  In the fight to help everyone else(Christians) we sometimes forget we have REAL needs that only SOME selfishness can cure.  Everyone deserves respect, until they lose it.  Anything less than that and we don't have an understanding anymore... and that shouldn't happen.  

You know when I was arrested for DUI(after police report said of being asked to leave 3 times which I remember NOT being asked once). it reminded me of the movie The Edge, where the billionaire gets asked why he doesn't just sick his lawyer on the bear, to which he replies, "no, uh... I wouldn't do that to an animal".  I say that to myself nowadays, remembering how I spared SO MANY people...  a lawsuit.  I even told this to my father on his deathbed, that he should be proud of me and of how I suffered, so that others wouldn't have to. 

Oh and one final thing, religion is a LOVE of society.  Be careful with that. 

Frank

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

That questionable taste in your mouth from reading my last blog is the taste of my privacy.  Yeah, it was intentional and my "secrets" don't usually get that illicit.  So now that we are back to my regular blog we can talk about Frank.  I will try to be more Christian-like from now on.  

Frank was this guy in the business credit card area where I worked.  I am still not done extolling the greatness that was my years at the bank so here goes another anecdote.  We had an excellent SBU(strategic business unit) because we got to the point where we could do what we want.  And how did we get there?  Because we were unbelievably efficient.  Since business owners understand contracts more they hardly ever complained about their late fees and since we knew in regular customer service SOME people were adjusting literally thousands of dollars of late fees per year, we didn't even blink an eye when we violated our contract and removed a late fee or two from our admittedly plain ENGLISH contract violators.  

At some point, because we were starting out with American Advantage points and trying to make money on wallet security offers(we pay your credit card debt if your card is stolen) and whatnot,  we started to try other things like more time offline and better SMEs(subject matter experts).  We started to, instead of answering complex questions and researching late check posting issues(payment center takes their time posting a check = POOF late fee) we started to DO the work of our leaders.  The leaders were given more time offline, and they started to be in a better mood, and that meant better appraisals for everyone yeah?  And why not, we were making them a bunch of money but really customers were just glad that we had this great idea of giving them something for spending which other credit cards didn't do.  

After a while though, we (the SMEs) started to be in not such a good mood for some reason and that led to better ideas for procedures and a LOT of discussion among us about what was right for the SBU.  So in one of these meetings we decide we don't need quality.  The leaders who were now not taking supervisor calls or who had a lot more time on their hands because we forwarded those calls to their answer machine or correspondence, could now DO the work of entire teams set up to do quality.  This meant we did away with a whole group of people that all they did all day was listen to calls and grade 'em.  

Good idea, right?  

We started to learn risk control and credit and even started to learn about Information Technology(IT) to some degree since we were this tiny group of people with bunches of information that now flowed freely to the people that called us.  Remember all of this used to be handled by other departments but since we were TRUSTED enough to handle this information and use it well, we were MUCH MORE efficient than other credit cards.  People would call one of our people and they would get an expert that could discuss at length why we no longer had international fastcards or why we used only such and such ATM network that they could not find in their area.  It was really a lot of useless information really that the customer didn't need to know, but in some sense they got these higher "quality" or more informed associates when they called for help.  

And this brings us to Frank.  Because he brought it all down.  

Frank was a good guy.  He sat next to me when I was about to be put on the SME team and he was smart and he kind of looked like my dad but much younger.  Well, Frank decided to stop doing lost stolen reports.  His team leader was giving him trouble for taking too much time perhaps and so to make his calls shorter, and seem more efficient like he was working hard, he just stopped doing lost/stolen reports.  Yep, just stopped filling them out and the longest call turned into the quickest call for him.   People talked to me about him, people bad mouthed him, and some people even thought it would be BETTER for him if we just let him go.  I got asked about it and since I used to follow a "leave no soldier behind" mentality, I said no way were we going to fire him.  Now I have to admit, we had something of a third wheel when it came to his manager.   We were a bunch of 30s guys and she was in her 60s.  In fact it was the same lady that took over a project of mine whose job it was to determine customer satisfaction with a follow up call.  So I understand that he wanted to be taken off her team now, but I didn't then.  I talked to him and others talked to him but he just went on a number of action plans that basically wrote up his mistakes and then pushed him closer and closer to being miserable which he probably already was I thought.  At no point did I think that he was going to be fired because he was too good for that and I figured he would just start filling out the lost/stolen reports and things would go back to normal.  

The lesson for today is that we should have removed him from her.  Nothing in life is so impactful as the supervisor to associate relationship, imo.  The SBU started to get bad press in the risk control area because they would send those reports back which I eventually had to fill out and send them back to them with skeleton information.  And really this leads to a fouled up reputation for us and as people find out that the whole department is the MOST PROFITABLE SBU in the world, they start to chaff at wondering just HOW we are achieving this status.  Small wonder I guess now that we as a business unit start having IT difficulties.  And I mean this in the kindest sense possible but some IT people are a bunch of CRAP people.  You're welcome.  Nothing will take it out of you more than to be in charge of this huge group of excellent associates and walk down there to see some guy eating at his desk unable to find a problem that had no cause that he can't find... that you KNOW just started happening for no reason.  But such is the real world we live in.  We saved Frank but we lost the department.  

Soon after, my leader is asked to leave the company for non-business reasons, to which I publicly make a statement of disapproval and here comes a barely literate bat lady appointed as my NEW leader to give me errors for not sending an international fastcard... which we don't send anymore.  No, she wasn't barely literate, yes she was top flight Citibank manager with full health insurance and vision care probably sleeping in silk PJs, making shit up and giving me errors... HERE at the top of the world! 

That wasn't very Christian, sorry. 

So I guess what I want to say to all you news orgs and bloggers and scryly people is that you should try to be the best but also try to be vigilant of what that might cost.  We should have simply moved Frank to a new team.  We might have had more people "quicken" their calls after this but then we simply would have started up the quality groups and started to have a more expensive SBU than we had, but we wouldn't have had this "decade of hot mess".  lol

I like Sandra Bullock.. by the way Sandra I'm available for true love... cuz it's you.  

Only YOU can prevent...

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

In all religions(and in Halo), there is a flood or a burial(Sodom) or exodus or a resurrection.  You remember my blog about resurrection right?  Witness it as the PHOENIX rises from the flames and overcomes the Apocalypse in the movie.  The added touch of reality came when it was a girl because truly our youth fear nothing and will simply grab each others little hands and take their little bit of knowledge and BUS their way to a new future.  

People have one thing in common when they are young and that is they are unbridled.  They have not been tamped down by little insults or funny lights or phones ringing at odd times.  If they see a threat(hopefully they tell someone) they respond forthwith.  If there is something everyone believes in is our youth or in our children.  

Best not to piss them off in my opinion(imo).  

As it happens, Snowden comes to mind.  Another youth right?  He was about my age when he got "excommunicated" as it were and back then I was "indomitable" and did what I wanted.  So it will be for others.  I have said that the resurrection is the point of many religions and by that I meant the apocalypse.  We are meant to fear God and by that it doesn't mean give SOME GUY who is God your button to press when he wants... we are meant to fear the apocalypse... a time when people will all become disaffected with leadership.  

To fear God, is to slow this down.  To fear the future.  To understand how it happens both to people being led, and to our leaders.  We need speeches, songs, sermons, and verdicts that take into account the inevitable, that people will abuse the trust given to them either for "justifiable" reasons, like for their high medical bills necessary to cure cancer(necromancers) or for their crippled children or for their crippled Porsche 911.  They will do it not because they act alone but because they or people like them are GROUPING TOGETHER to believe ... caveat emptor.  

Let the buyer beware.  

See, at this point the culture has changed.  We no longer should give people a good price, we SHOULD charge as much as possible.  And this is not so bad.  But you should FEAR business owners when they get together because obviously the first thing to discuss is whether we care more for the business than we do for God.  God is the people.  And those two options to charge what you should, like a church offering plate, or as much as people AGREE TO PAY, like Trump University, are not even the only two options available.  You could OUTWIT your customer.  You remember Braveheart right?  

"I know you can fight, but it's our wits that make us men."

Now we get back to this idea right?  Should we grow up?  Are we grown when we become "able" to hunt? Should we become OUTWITTERS of men? Well, the good news is once you have a wife and child, trouble will come.  In fact as my mother grows older and since my father has died, I expect trouble to come sooner now.  Especially from my own family... aka the people I have been trying to protect.  And that's loyalty for you.  That's why I don't like loyalty is because your group comes before the world.  And if ONE TRUSTED person does something wrong... it's time to dump the whole group into a lie to cover it up.  See, once you think this way, that's a zombie.  You attack others FIRST because it would be STUPID to let them attack first and you think this, because TRUST is gone.  

You must have a belief, to stop the apocalypse... and yet the apocalypse MUST happen.  Irresistible force meets immovable object.  Belief is the irresistible force that BELIEVES in meteors.  That's the point of belief is to chant your way out of a ticket, lol.  

What? 

But as your understanding grows you will understand why you MUST be married in a church and MUST have children near others that believe as you do and why you MUST... fear God.  Always there are churches, good and bad, but as my research has shown, all of them believe themselves to be good and most of them don't abuse their powers in public, such is the hope you need to believe, in a corrupt world.  Actually, it's not a corrupt world because then the apocalypse would be happening, it's just all a bunch of churches.  It's a bunch of people all believing they are good but in all different ways. 

The Norse mythology talks of Ragnarok(end of the world) and the World Serpent.  The serpent being the beast you see.  Just today I was watching CNN where a dad flung himself in court at a guy that had killed one of his daughters.  I could feel my blood boil.  That's the beast.  He doesn't want you to believe in the system, he wants you to just FEEL things and act like a zombie/beast.  A good reminder of why everyone is so INSTANTLY able to lose their sanity.  

That kid in the gorilla pen is another example.  We all fall in line when some gorilla is mistreating a child but at the same time we KNOW the gorilla is grown and cognizant of what he does... a child is foolish and yet the gorilla is just an animal.  It's a very nice conundrum we can't really solve... but we DO KNOW that the mother let it happen.  

See, that's why we blame the preacher if the follower goes ape-shit.  That's also why we shouldn't name animals.  Once people have hurt your dog you will understand this better. 

So this World Serpent is what happens in most mythologies.  The population's civility goes to shit and people all frenzy kill each other back into mediocrity.  The zombie apocalypse.  I am glad we talk about the zombie apocalypse because it shows people aren't confused about the POINT of religion.  If you believe in the zombie apocalypse it indicates you understand the world serpent or the resurrection or the rebirth or even the flood.  It is a forest fire.  Only YOU can prevent forest fires.  It's simple it's quick and it's inevitable.  The only thing to worry about is how long it will take and generally if the world is more calm and "informed" and CONFUSED, it takes longer and if you have children... you should want this to take longer than normal.  

Yesterday we watched a video about the origin of religion.  Abraham was promised by God to have descendants whose numbers would be as vast as the stars.  But he got his maid pregnant first.  He was probably using the pull out method.  I'm guessing that when the sex is real good, it might be harder to pull out ... is all I'm saying.  And you definitely should NOT lean up and over her butt as you orgasm... just saying. 

Well, as it turns out the maid was black or African or something and her son is named Ishmael and they go off to live in Africa.  Many years later Sarah, the wife has a son... FINALLY(and no I am not changing my name to Abraham but I COULD be convinced to by a certain someone) and he turns out to be Isaac who basically is the Adam of all things Christian.  But the video states that the prophet Mohammad finds out about his legacy and that he finds out he is a descendant of Ishmael and that the maid was told by God that her descendants would have a tough life.  

See at this point, after the video ends, the pastor asks us what we think.  Others think that God's intention was to make Muslims our enemy, that the Bible is telling us God's purpose is to find fault with every Muslim and that Muslims are a distraction of our true faith; but I didn't see it that way.  It's true that I am Baptist but like I said earlier being Baptist is a beginning to wisdom.  

So what do I think of the African reject sons of a maid servant that were cast out of their home by Abraham who couldn't keep it in his pants because the sex was so good... 

Muslims are the OTHER white meat.  

PS. By that I mean, when leaders become corrupt and become dictators, only another set of good people can come to their rescue, like we claim to do to countries of the oppressed.  God's plan is the non-plan plan(Along Came Polly).  You all know Jennifer Aniston's non-plan PLAN right?