Assumptions

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What happened?

I thought that electing and having a Democrat in power meant that the country would be all for taxing the rich and giving more programs to the poor.

I thought that helping the poor by raising taxes and restoring the government to an actionable system free from financial woes was what we wanted when we elected a Democrat.

I thought people could tell what their congress was doing now that we have CSPAN and the internet and websites to tell us what they are doing.

But I was wrong.

We went from Occupy Wall Street to bail out Wall Street inside of one year. This tax on the poor, which is perhaps the biggest bailout in history, will not only make every doctor a newfound player in the market, it will draw in ALL poor people into the financial market.

You don't have to have an Economics degree to understand supply and demand. With the same amount of doctors, the demand for healthcare will go up and that... will drive up prices. Good news for rich people investing in the medical field or even in drug companies, WHO ARE ALREADY THE RICHEST COMPANIES!

This increase in prices will drive up the cost and the amount necessary to pay for the costs aka. our tax money.

I don't think it is the place for the Supreme Court to annul legislation when it is unpopular, but wow did I just kind of let this happen without understanding what the government was doing. Without this move by the Supreme Court, I would never have known how this was going to go about.

We assumed.

We assumed that rich people were going to pay.

We assumed that finally doctors were going to have to accept lower wages.

We assumed that insurance companies would see their profits go down.

We assumed that the financial market would cease to be a factor in healthcare.

I assumed the Democrats were all about helping the poor, but as it turns out it doesn't matter what you call yourself, if you want to do work in politics, you gotta have money and to get that money you gotta play with the players.

Sad news for our government, instead of taxing the rich, instead of provided incentives for public assisted care, instead of doing their jobs through welfare programs and budget cuts from the military, they have taxed the poor and walked out smiling saying we won this for you!

It's like telling your girlfriend you got her yourself for her birthday.

Thanks a lot!

If this plan of taking our money to pay for social security isn't working for social security, how do you expect it to work on healthcare?

Oh that's right, we aren't going to be able to track the money now that it's going to insurance companies so it won't matter. It will all be so confused and lost in public reports and change hands so many times that in the end we poor people will be like, it's our own fault, we should have studied in school.

PS. I am all for public healthcare though, I thought I was a Democrat when I said I was for this plan but it sounds so much like somethng a Republican would do, that I'm not sure what I am. It's definitely a biparitsan (two party) initiative, hahaha. I would go out and drink myself stupid if I drank anymore but I don't.

I king of feel like one of those toothless people on Bill Maher who vote Republican because the south will rise again. Yeah well this plan makes as much sense as that that in many ways, it's like the people in charge are outsmarting you but you outsmart them by playing stupid... and then paying for what they want you to pay anyway.

I wonder why I just thought of mechanics again?

Supreme Court reviews healthcare

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Today I watched a discourse on the Affordable Health Care program that will force everyone to buy health insurance.

This is a tax on the poor.

The money collected will go to insurance companies not to the government.

The biggest question I saw was commerce vs. public need.

If you are not doing commerce with healthcare, you basically get forced into commerce with the healthcare industry. Is this fair?

If people can't afford healthcare, young people that don't need it, pay for the people that need it.

It will be collected by the IRS on your taxes.

The reason it was enacted was to compensate states that were funding successful healthcare programs for out of state participants that would be "attracted" to the welfare magnet of the successful states. The supreme court is deciding if congress has a right to make it federal and because of this flaw between states that have and don't have public healthcare, I believe congress does.

It also was enacted to allow people with pre-existing conditions to get healthcare. This is basically everybody because you don't get healtcare when you contract a disease, you get it years later when your hospital says that you got it which in most cases, in this ever increasinng job market of contractors and people with short employment histories, probably occurred when you were at your last job, which means you don't qualify.

The supreme court will also decide if the public mandate( the requirement to have everyone pay for insurance on their taxes),
is constitutional. This is iffy. It draws people that don't want to use healthcare into a system that requires them to pay. This could have been done through regulare channels (like CALLING IT A TAX!) but many feel this opens the door to a "new power" for the government.

Good or bad this something we all need but it is a scary thought to see government and insurance companies working together no matter what the intent is. I feel it is necessary and proper and also that it can be ammended as needed later.

However, is this like hoping the lion won't eat you after feeding it something really tasty instead?

Big Bang Theory

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Today I saw a show that explained that red giants are what will happen to our sun, our source of light.

This will probably happen to William Shatner too because you know, he will die alone. In a larger vein, it is only those people that live alone that are truly in danger of death. You know who you are and I am definitely not talking about me sitting here writing all alone... no, not me, remember that everything I say applies to you guys!

In the show it states that the mass of the planet grows as the interior of the star becomes more and more dense. So it occurred to me that this is what happens to businesses seeking to increase value. They start off as a star.
Value mounts as more and more people bolster the business to be one of the placeholders that will sit back and collect the earnings as the idea starts to grow and become more popular. But there is only so much use for said idea and eventually the great Apple or IBM or Bell company has spread to all the corners of the known universe and that is when the company becomes a cow. Some call it the cash cow. There is no more increase in value. The stock you bought at $50, now worth $1000 no longer increases in value because frankly there is just no further interest in the idea. So the business expands. But at this point, noone is paying full price for something they can borrow or buy cheaper at one of the competitors who have begun to replicate your idea. All you get now is steady income from profits and pricing but you can no longer sell your stock for a higher price.
It's at this point that all capitalism is put into question. What should happen is that people should look to invest in other new ideas. Shareholders should manage the company like mayors do a city. The star should continue to maximize the amount of dust it takes in and regulate its output so as not to overextend itself. It should not grow larger.

But that's not what really happens. People running the company in their "duty" to maximize value, now start to cut jobs to make up for lost public interest. They start to buy other ideas and merge with those ideas in an effort to cover up the fact that their own idea just isn't going to ever be exciting again. They start to make up new ideas and treat those as the mission statement for the company, instead of accepting the fact that companies are just not supposed to last, just like people don't last. When the well dries up it's time to move.

The purpose of building a brand is to let people know whether you are reputable under your current leadership. You can't replace your BS CEO and terminate the staff and get sued for millions and keep calling yourself Citibank! That's like saying AT&T is the most successful company in the US. It shouldn't be allowed. When our CEO got replaced right then we should be required to change the name even to Citibankz, hah!

Anyway getting back to the what happens in companies. The rich people, seeing that their company is no longer increasing in value, sell their stocks and look to find other stocks that are on the uptake. But, this shouldn't happen. Selling your stock makes other people sell their stock. People should have a limited amount of times they can buy stock in their life and once that is used up, the company should fail before they are allowed to buy more stock.

So rich people get richer, companies and the people working them, get "sold out" for the purpose of getting more money. The educator-turned-greedy people that used to run the business are now replaced by the get-their-hands-dirty people that know what comes next.

It sounds evil. But this is what happens to a star. The few rich people eventually have so much money and the poor people getting fewer and fewer dollars in their attempt to become one of the rich people become so separated that its like a red giant that is about to explode into a supernova some say, but what happens is a collapse. People and companies become so unsystematic in their attempts to gather value, where there isn't any, that they turn on themselves.

In the end you have, like the show said, planets circling a mass of people that are just as rich but that bring no value to the universe.

No light.

In contrast, building a star is a lot like my theory on gangs. It makes sense to work together and if we are all just dust particles in this morass of energized particles, one day we decided to "hunt" for more particles. We search out and consume the powerless to feed ourselves. There's no order in a morass or even in a moron's ass but someone's gotta do something so we start our gang. We "spark" into a star to accelerate the consumption and to begin anew our search for order and what people will call prosperity.

But it's all hogwash isn't it. The more we grow, the more we must be taking from somewhere. Evil people like to wash their hands of their wrongdoings, much like Pilate washed his hands for crucifying Jesus. But we can't really just point these people out and say "I pop your head". Well I guess we can say that.

But consumption is not prosperity. Wait nevermind that.

We want our freedom to do what we want until that freedom starts to scare people. It's funny how much more safety is required once people start having their children. Now we don't need so much freedom, let's do away with drunk drivers, let's outlaw guns and lower the speed limit. Let's kill the single people over 40. Let's euthanize all animals not on a leash. And btw my kid was stung by a bee, noone's looking so let's get rid of em. In fact it's probably a good idea to go ahead and cut down all the trees cuz that's where pests come from. There's no roaches in Arizona I hear and Somalia definitely has no problem with those pesky flying roaches. Hmm let's see what do we kill next, Jews? Black people? Foreign bodies?

(edit: removed crude remark perhaps unfair to people with children)

It's nice to think about going off the deep end but the real danger in swimming is not that you can't stand in deep water but that you never learn how to swim. I guess both are true dangers.

Without trying new things, we get the same result, slavery. It's all that can happen. And as we keep on using electricity and gas and cut out the space program and stop allowing new people to immigrate to the US, we stop going into the pool.

Yeah, this means you. Not me, I of course don't make mistakes and my friends are waiting outside with a friendship bouquet as we speak!

How many accidents were going to happen anyway? I just watched a program about Vince Neil and his accident and wondered how someone going to the store could be hit by some people and then he had to pay them out like milllions of dollars, even though it was his passenger that was killed. He was drinking at the time.

Being drunk makes you not of sound mind. This is the best way to put it and it's something I didn't understand fully. If they break in for a burglary kill your daughter and wife and you are in the house and you were drinking, you lose. If you argue with your wife, you lose. If you are in the bar and anything happens, at all, you can sound as itinerate as Shakespeare in your argument but in the end the manager will be like, why so serious? Ya cuz if you drink, you have no rights. People are much nicer to say a 22 year old and allow him rights but noone tells you hey look out for that mean person on the bike cuz he had it done to him and he is going to do it to you Mr. "couple of beers". You can go out and see hundreds or people in a nightclub and wonder "do they know you can't do this and drive?!" Where are all the TAXIs?!

Florida law makes it illegal to be under any impairment while driving, look it up.

You can even see thousands of people at a football game and it doesn't occur to you that fully half those people are like "wow is anyone in the rich section drinking, oh boy!"

Anyway peace to the world and all.

Whew sidetracked. Well my main point is this. there was no big bang. Spark maybe but no bang. Like everything else, it is what it is, and always has been.

Healthcare for Dummies

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I don't see how public healthcare could be a bad thing. It's true that Medicare has been abused and that doctors overcharge now perhaps due to the many charges of malpractice. It has perhaps a lot to do with insurance companies willing to make large payments in a customers stead with the promise of having someone making payments to them for an increasingly smaller value to the average citizen.

But having some form of healthcare is central to our system. Even if it was written by 10th graders and it said that mostly New Yorkers would get the aid because their parents said that is where most of the people are, even then, having something is better than having nothing.

The job of legislators is to make the laws and then to change them, to amend them, or to repeal them or to leave them alone. But, it is high time to have something to change. It has been an eon of time since people have been put into a profile merely because of what they earn.

This should not be the case. People should not have some health emergency to expect care from people that are sworn to do no harm. Medical professionals should not feel the grit of rent payments and taxes when faced with a situation of whether of not to render aid.

It is the most basic of functions to help another person and in light of its benefit to society, all such people should be believers of God. They should be driven to heal and help and take nothing in return.

One of the oldest presumptions in existence is that a preacher is a healer and it is something that we need to get back to.

It's no coincidence that hospitals are non-profit. So to exploit this advantage doctors have become directors and CEOs and have made agreements with insurance companies and they have hired certified professionals who now also have to get training and get loans to pay for their own education for what should be nothing more than following the doctors orders.

Well, making hospitals not for profit was a good first step but moreover, we need to make hospitals a function of government. Elected officals could then be trusted more if they had served time doing this plain and proper work towards public service. It makes them more trusted and it makes them more holy and even though there is some fear out there about merging church and state, I don't think it is too far a stretch of the imagination to assume that all politicians, do what is in the public's best interest, like doctors say they do.

PS. and btw, it should be easier to becojme a doctor, we should overwhelmed with doctors and congress should allocate set number of doctors per region based on population and it should be something as public as how many votes Florida gets. I realize that because we are becoming more corrupt, more government is necessary and that government then becomes the next thing to become corrupt, so it's not necessary to make people bible toters, but it is necessary to make our system, one that we can trust. One nation under God.

20 yrs and no cure for cancer

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Today in the WSJ(Wall Street Journal) it said that students that came out of law school expected to make more than $100,000 a year to pay for what has to be at least $120,000 in tuition per student(FL Coastal in Jacksonville charges about $20,000 per semester which times 6 is 120k). The story was about how schools had inflated students expectations in an effort to charge more tuition. Schools said that more than 86% of students would have a job after they got out of school which sounds like 86% get 100k after school and reported this as fact. This is untrue so people are suing the schools.

In a message to God an angel said that in their prayers all the poor people found out how rich the rich people were who could afford to hire these people without some sort of legal insurance and cried out in unison, FK YOU!

Coincidentally, the Devil sent a message saying that insurance companies would join policymakers(aka. congressmen, they do love to chg their names don't they), to fund a national legal care bill that would provide legal help to people that perhaps spoke a different language for some reason.

Also in a rare appearance, THOR threw his hammer down and said he would like to read where it says that the FL DUI law intends for everyone to do community service which was the claim of the District Attorney at a certain court proceeding that will remain unspecified.

Also, it is perhaps a bit much to ask that the WSJ speak proper English when they are writing their stories. But since they are probably used to addressing financial types, perhaps it is NOT too much to ask.

Example in today's paper: "A dog was used to secure financial papers before a budget was presented to India's parliament on Friday."

You know I am all for making English the national language of the nation in an effort to welcome everyone to the simplicity that should be everyday commerce between benign parties. I am all against people changing the contract, which people do perhaps when they bring you a receipt with one too many beers on it, or charge you $1100.00 for fixing a passenger window, like my dad was charged yesterday at a Cadillac dealer, but one thing that is difficult to agree on is how smart should you be to be allowed to do business.

We have quite a bit of foreign workers working here who because they don't understand English, may not understand what usury laws are. And since they are spending money that is not technically theirs, why not withhold telling them that their 0% $10,000 loan will rise to 13,000 a year later with all interest due if they go past due once which btw raises their rate to 50% or whatever cuz they are a bad risk which is actually another way of saying "learn English fool". My dad is a national citizen but he is 70+ years old and speaks Spanish first, English second. He is very intelligent but is perhaps too understanding when someone says we can also clean out your fuel injection which hasn't been done a long time according to our computer. They don't take into account that maybe had that done somewhere else or test to see if it needs it and of course what they didn't mention was $70/hour rate of labor. REALLY? I mean what kind of training does it take to work on a car? I realize it's not exactly customer service simplicity and stuff but man, where are these people that can afford that? You basically hired a lawyer. Lessee, lawyer + school bills = lawyer pay of 120/hr, now take away 50/hr spent paying back school bills = same pay as Cadillac mechanic... so all lawyers should go work at the Cadillac dealer and omg no banks, no schools, and no 3 years of wasting your time studying stupid shit.
Ruf!
Anyway, my point is that not only do we need to speak only one language but we need to speak it so that a 6th grader can understand. Understanding is the goal people and if I make something hard to understand then I have atttacked you, usually without provocation, and if this is being allowed then it needs to stop.
Now I am not citing anyone with crimes of course but I am pointing out that mean people suck!
I still remember one guy about 20 years ago calling the credit card saying that he wanted his VISA card to say DR in the front of his name. It was sort of a problem for us cuz then his name would not come up alphabetically in our sorter but we accomodated him and I thought wow must be nice to be a doctor. A few years later I got a different guy complaining about his car repair he charged and that he wanted to dispute it but after many car repair people got tired of getting their payment yanked out by a dispute, another procedure was put in place which not many people know about. You have to take your car to another mechanic and have them do the repair and say that the previous mechanic did it incorrectly in a statement you send in to the credit card to dispute it. You can imagine how many mechanics are willing to do this and why suddenly all disputes regarding car repairs came to a halt.

Anyway, this doctor after me telling him we would send him materials to fill out and the work he would need to get his money back for a faulty reapir or whatever at the end of the call he says, "Yeah, and remove that DR from the front of my name..."

It's a small wonder there is no cure for cancer...

Why 3 wishes?

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You ever wonder why a genie gives its master only 3 wishes? Why not an even 4? Why not a round 10?

This is a maximum. It's the most times you can demand something with privilege before people start to turn on you.

Should think about that the next time you are in a relationship because, you know, I am SUCH an expert on relationships...

What does Syria and Godzilla...

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The situation in Syria is so similar to recent events that you wonder if what they need is a fresh perspective to gauge what must be done.

I am not in the practice of offering solutions because that frankly takes too long. But I am in the practice of rendering a problem to its functional parts.

When we go into a country to give soldiers weapons it's a lot like giving an assassin payment so that we don't have to do the dirty work. It's obvious now then that this is why this practice has failed so often. When there is a "secret" assassin, then the assassin has to be kept quiet, the money has to be justified and then rerouted, the person of contact has to have morals that are questionable but at the same time noble... which is a contradiction. He has to want to take out Syria but philosophically he knows that these weapons will be abused just as food to Somalia was abused. The warlords will take half the weapons give them out to fools that they send into battle that are perhaps too "noble" to be given command responsibility, and then sell the rest of them for the sake of their "gang". Lo and behold they soon run out and need more weapons because they are suffering "heavy casualties" that noone can ascertain.

Hmm, I think that about covers why we shouldn't give arms to rebels.

Should we send our soldiers there? Yep. Should they get combat pay and bone up their HALO skills with a bunch of drone ships and so what if we get some civilians because those are too stupid to stay inside till it's over? Yep. Will we save money doing it this way and in the process get some "police" and "politician" caliber brave souls that are somewhat above corruption? Yep. Do I sound like an incredible buffoon saying this?

I just watched Bill Maher last night and although I agree with a lot of what he says, to a great extent, but I don't think we should tell the world there is no god. You are gonna find that many people will look at the great men in their lives and wonder if they are corrupt and all too often they will say yes simply out of envy or out of a wish that they too were "born" into money, or simply out of a wish to have had more education. He did a skit on the poorest state in the union Mississippi (We used to spell this state as kids a lot because we could get away with saying PP). Poor people need money and with a bigger government, aka Democrats, they get more social programs which makes them richer. So it's backwards to think that Mississippi would go for Republicans, because Republicans = less government, less government = less regulation, less regulation = more monopoly yay!, more monopoly = hotels for rich people, poor people hoping to land on go to jail... with rich people not all that worried about it.

Was that enough to analyze the problem well?

But, and you have to watch it to actually feel what they are feeling with all earnestness, they believe that if they just hope for a better government that it will happen. They believe that they are the underdogs, destined to win. They believe the South will rise again sort of like the Occupy movement believes that rebelling against the government will teach those Wall Street goons some fear.

I remember the movie Godzilla and one the most memorable things said in the movie, which changed my life btw, was when Matthew Broderick talked about his public protests against Nuclear Bases. 20 years later he works at one with the military trusting him with their secrets. A reporter asks him what happened to the old rebel she used to know, which was him, and he said yeah I found that by joining the enemy I could understand what it was they were trying to achieve and in this role, "I could effect real change".

So for those that think I haven't achieved much in my time on this Earth I say this from the movie "it's gojira you morons!" Which means Big Lizard! Dragon!

Yeah I know it's annoying to read my stuff. It's probably a little hard to agree with, sort of like Jenifer Lopez who doesn't do concerts, doesn't speak Spanish, went out with Black guys appears in magazines even though she isn't in any movies that you can remember and comes across as the representative Spanish chic for the Latin community, or sort of like Kim Kardashian who is so annoying with her famous stepfather who tries not to object to anything she does which makes you wonder if she is been spoiled from day one because she is way too confident to be all that great, and besides are those boobs real cuz she's just too good looking to have all that?

Well if you agree with that then the annoying feeling you are feeling is prejudice... yeah it makes your thinking faulty.

Stop that.

Both those women work very hard and even though some of what they say is annoying, what they do, like doing whatever they want, like Madonna does(and btw I am so sorry Madonna for using them in the same sentence cuz compared to you they suck), is what you should judge.

Well that's enough talk about Syria, Syriasly.

Stories are about feelings

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Feelings are a part of most tales and if you believe in fairy tales then the Cyclops exist right next to Icarus and the Minotaur.

I spoke to my mother yesterday and she spoke of people trying to convert her to catholicism while she was growing up. She mentioned how they would not let the regular layperson read the bible and that only the preacher was taught Latin so that he could read the Latin version and he would even preach his sermons in Latin.
Very backwards.
She mentioned the confessional and called the whole practice of doing what you want and then cashing in a confession as rubbish.
But there is a lot of usefulness in confessing your sins. People build or destroy and if they are not allowed to return to building, then they continue to destroy. Such is the binary nature of humans. In fact that is why gangs should not be allowed. People that get together to destroy become confused. They continue to build something that is in fact destroying society. This is the fundamental problem with corporations. If I wronged someone, good or bad I would hear about it. They would simply comeover and explain that my car is in their spot and then I would realize that there are other spots out there in the parking lot and we would come to some form of agreement about how this relationship would grow. Enter anger. Hah!

But seriously, what if someone came up and sed that Jerks Inc. had licensed parking out to members only and sadly I was not in the club? Well that's what's wrong with corporations, they are nothing more that a large gang, working against the greater good. They can say that all they are doing is registering everyone so that there is more order in the world, but the fact is that I get wronged and the corporation gets blamed and it has no one person to name, even though there usually one person that is abusing their power.

What happens if it turns out that I am the one that is wrong? I get removed. You see how that is wrong? The corporation cannot be removed, see, and people of questionable morals may get demoted but in a crazy twist, if they get away with wronging someone, they get promoted!

Yeh, it seems easy to understand and obvious to look at but we are all just bleh so what, at least it's progress.

Well such are where the feelings come from in such tales as Icarus. If you are going to escape a group of people that hate you, you have to do it quietly using secrecy as well as a tremendous amount of effort and wonder. But as many will tell you, using magic is wonderous, if you find yourself able to fly you may feel that you are omg I can fly! But most of the time, magic is very short-lived. The nature of magic is that only you know or few people know the secret and if you tell too many people, the magic doesn't work. The sun in the story is the truth or the light. Using magic too close to the sun, FLYING to close to the sun, causes the magic to fail. Young people are especially susceptible to ruining their magic.

The story of the Minotaur is another curious example of a beast so horrible to he was part man part bull. But if someone is hated enough, people treat him like he is a beast. People in fearing him cause him to become a person lost in a maze of righteousness vs. torment. Anyone coming in contact with this person, enters his maze, finding in it corners and dead ends and two exits, the quest of it is all fueled by fear. He must go back the way he came or finish what he started. So in this tale of fear Icarus and his father are thrown into the maze of the Minotaur but the truth is that they are just threatened by someone dangerous... someone ruled by fear, who imposes his fear on others. Usually this someone works for a king. Yeah, sounds evil doesn't it, but it's not so fantastic now is it?

The cyclops were men with only one eye. They were supposed to be the direct laborers of the gods. I think they were titans or some such I can't remember.

I remember playing Dragon Age and coming across the story of golems. Amazing creatures twice as strong as a regular man because they had sacrificed their very soul to be imprisoned in these vehicles of death. Is there anything more noble than someone that sacrifices their very lives for the sake of the public? But that is where the affinity ends. A golem is about as dull in intellect as the armor he is wearing. He is about as capable of independent thought as the next one which is in sync only with whoever controls his control rod. This is the duality of public service, because though their own lives are a testament to what all humans should aspire, the lives they affect are inaffably affected by the will of the golem's ruler, whose vision of good will is as tantamount to tyranny as is your mother's.

Worse still is the cyclops, you can see well with one eye but with two eyes you can see both. Again with the binary. People can see good and evil or since everyone is good in their view then they can see what is in their interests and what might be or isn't. People have two sides to their brains, two cheeks, even two butts if you count what they say as adding to what they are full of. But a cyclops has one eye. All he sees is what he must do and not what he mustn't. He is a slave of the gods, a Balrog, a servant of Sauron or Zeus even, (hey Zeus:) his only eye being godless yet self serving. When people speak about serving the one eye they are talking about what must exist out there. It MUST! There are people that want to get together and build and to do that you can be blind and even a little off center, lazy even, but to work for the eye you must be able to see your prey and see nothing else. It is said that prey have their eyes far apart so that they can feed and see a predator coming from a wider range, but that predators have their eyes close so as to refuse to be distracted and to maintain their focus. A cyclops has one big eye, an assassin, a one purpose terminator like the cylons from Battlestar Galactica.

Anyway, that was intense but it all gets back to what I was saying at start and that is that most stories are about feelings and interpretations. If I am your preacher then this is what I got out of those stories and I tell you so that you won't have to spend the hours it took me to put it all together in my head... plus it's free, you like free? (Bsterds!) If you believe in superstitions then you can rest assured that someone will sense that and use it against you, much like having fear.

I wonder if I have always had fear of women. I really don't like to have my feelings hurt so I loathe to talk to good-looking women but WOW have I had my feelings hurt anyways (people out there are warning girls off not to talk to me).

I sometimes wonder how much money the world owes me.

PS. If the composition is a little hard to follow, that's part of the getting to know me! Follow me?

Junior

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When I was a Junior in high school I had just left public school to start at a private baptist school. I placed first in a district rally in 9th grade and that allowed me to seek to run as president of the FBLA club.

When I went to private I thought I would run for class president. I would play tennis over the summer and my father liked to take me to the bowling alley to get himself a beer while I played video games. So it seemed logical to me to promise them a bowling league and tennis club. The election was one week later and even though I was new in class, I was elected the Junior class president.

About a week later the finest girl in the school sat next to me and made it obvious that she wanted to date me. It's about that time that I started to think that I was irresistable or at least that I was top tier stuff when it came to women.

The year didn't go so well though. I wasn't allowed to use the car to do what was required to start up the clubs I promised. The fund raising that was needed to raise money for our prom was up and down. I was able to score very well with alternative selling of gifts that made little money but when it came to selling M&Ms which made a lot of money, I sucked.

Later, it became obvious that they wanted to impeach me. The principal herself came into the class to ask if we had done anything to start planning the prom which was the Junior cabinet's responsibility and we had not. She asked the whole class why they had voted for me and I remember her saying that perhaps my election mirrored what really happens in real politics.

It was not my intention to deceive anyone but my actual follow through was not in sync with what I had planned to do as president.

I managed to wrangle staying president and remember wanting to leave that school with dignity so I was offered concurrent enrollment for my senior year. I thought it was a GREAT idea. So logical. I would leave with honor and still impress everyone by being in college. Since my birthday was later than August, I would be 16 when I started college. I thought I was pretty smart "cheating" my way past my senior year. (I really did have a good freshman year in college btw).

But some things I missed: socializing more, dating, talking about people to find out who was worth dating, getting laid at prom, taking a low class load to focus on socializing, and having a girlfriend.

I think that pretty much set me up for what happened the rest of my life. In an effort to get ahead I sacrificed a part of myself to look good.

So that's my personality, I am very impressive to look at but not very socially adept. I am woefully blunt and incredibly crass with sharp truths. It doesn't help that I have a baptist background and have spent most of my adult life hanging out at bars hoping to hook up with girls that I don't really have a lot in common with. Displaced. I don't like drugs or doing anything illegal and yet it seems I have the burden of being someone that does illegal things precisely because people have no trouble talking about me even though that is not something I can allow myself to do. Of course I have done illegal things, everyone has I guess once or twice, but it's like I have that bad form of being a vegetarian in a circle of meat eaters.

Well, it's time to stop that. My first 20 I spent becoming brilliant, my second 20 I spent ruining that, and now at 40 I guess my next 20 I should spend with my wife hopefully in some form of redemption for sliding all over the place for most of my life.

Problem is, there's no eligible women out there that are over 30 no kids, and as righteous and impulsive as I am. At least I don't think so.