Jennifer

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

I didn't get to properly critique the movie Apartment Troubles last time and since I have seen it many more times and since they allowed me to rent it for TWO days instead of one, I have managed to get a lot more out of the movie.  

First of all, I loved that the two girls were BFF.  At first I thought that the blonde was a whore but quickly after noting the pictures of their past, I realized they were just from different sorts of families.  The blonde was Jess and the brunette was Jenn, short for Jennifer Prediger.  

As the first part of it pointed out, they were trouble dolls one for the other.  From what I could tell, the first one was fallen from her childhood, every tint of her childhood gave her too many feelings and despite her parasitic "landlord" that was giving them housing in exchange for rent & sex, and her aunt that was close if not actually demanding sex for their weekend stay, Jess was someone that lived on the ragged edge, artistic, devoid of feelings, and believing that "faith" was useless.  

There were parts in there where I wondered if that family gathering that she was supposed to attend was denied her because she failed to fully rid herself of Jenn because it seemed that to some degree, Jess was showing her mercy somehow by staying with her or by not, I don't know, pimping her.  I'm still guessing on that one.  Jess loved her but didn't WANT to love her or at least didn't want to have feelings about it.  I love the part where she says didn't hate the cat, but you can tell she actually DID, lol.  

The skit that they did really widened my eyes after I saw it a second time because the reality is that they DIDN'T mess up the skit.  And fact is the skit was not written by Jenn but by Jess.  You see, Jess is the genius.  She's the one with the scars and thick-skin that is ruthless enough to kill a cat because that was the family she grew up in, which as it turns out is very rich but dystopic.   I thought that Jenn wrote the skit but I caught that it was Jess' after I watched it several more times.  Still, the skit was one of the big bang and just as they are about to get to a crescendo, to really communicate with the judges, just as the decorations start to become pretty and the mist begins to have a smell... the feather popper goes off and Jenn "appears" to forget her lines.  But this is the point of the whole thing.  Globalization.  A normal curve.  Communication between actors and judges becomes unclear, unpleasant, and uncomfortable.  The mist smells and intrudes, the actors begin to fight, the judges struggle to understand what it means... and then a gong.  From big bang to gong, as it happens in real life, as it is happening in our country, as it happens in relationships.  Ephemerality.  A short visit and then it's gone, this "marketing" cycle we call a country or a life.  A huge upswing of value to a star, then relegation to cash cow, and then the loss of value to a dog OR to a question mark.  It's strange that the two judges sat in awe of the one judge that actually got the message, the one with the money, the evil one(the aunt) that was sharper than the two others who just went along with the shallow sentiment of forgotten lines and called it a nothing when in fact they showed THEMSELVES to be a nothing when it came to judging art.  

The story was sort of a chunk of my life I think(all movies about me? maybe).  I spent a good part of it hanging on the feelings of my BFF and deluding myself that TWO girls were out there waiting for the both of us.  We were trouble dolls too.  But it was a delusion I think.  After my friend was knocked into a coma and he came out "damaged" I thought we just had to wait and one day they would show up but fact was the world is not built like that.  We can be as good looking and as righteous and as rich as a political action company but if we ain't selfish, if we don't ask for girls or ACT like we deserve girls(which we didn't we acted like we were too good for girls) then the whole life goes by and we probably feel smothered.  Maybe he felt smothered too, I don't know.  

But those days are over now.  I took my leave and now I am recouping my sanity from the trauma of what happened at Citibank and then at the bar and then at home here.  I was wore out but now I am healing again.  

Time should be spent with people of the opposite sex.  Guys that spend too much time with other guys are either like me, talking about how good we are and not getting laid, or are guys who make deals with the other guys about how many chicks we have scored with in secret, usually behind some woman's back.  My brother in law is a perfect example of this.  He sang for a band and first thing I noticed when we started to hang out together was that he thought it was normal to talk about good-looking women.  I mean DUDE you are married to my SISTER.  So we never became that close mostly due to I was pretty sure he was scoring chicks on the side, and a discussion about it was not going to end well.  

So if your guy has a bunch of guy friends, it's time to tell them bye-bye.  Same goes for girl friends.  This girl that sang karaoke that I liked told me that her spouse's son from another mother disliked her(when she was married) because she went out all of the time with her girlfriends, and I mean more power to her if that's her cup of tea, but I am prepared now for a girl that DOESN'T need girlfriends.  Even my ex once told me that she had a hard time after I left her because she had no other close friends which to be honest was hard for me too though I still had my BFF though at the time he was not too close a friend I guess.  

My cousin is about to get a divorce and though my mother thinks that there is no way he could cheat on his wife since he is a doctor and from a really upper crust society, I have been there with his friends partying the night of his bachelor party and I saw how close they were and some of those guys were NOT the nerdy doctor types if you follow me.  So meh, believe me or don't but I know that it's best to have a bunch of opposite sex friends like I do on Twitter now.  

And best thing about this is that I don't or CAN'T give them too much charm which I am prone to do in real life.  Girls in real life usually get along with me GREAT but it's like they say in the movies that after a few awkward "why doesn't he hit on me" moments, you get moved right over to the "friend" list where you never get looks or touches or even TIME to be able to talk to her like you would like.  

Makes you feel like you are wasting your time so much so that it starts to feel parasitic.  

Twitter is good because, if they talk or don't talk they can't actually SEE if you are good looking so you don't have to feel like they are rejecting you.  Everything is understood to be acquaintances there even though sometimes I feel the need to "progesterone" my remarks so as not seem impotent.  

This especially happens in the spring I'm noticing.  

PS. I probably like the actress a little too much for a fan but GOOD NEWS, it wears off.  How do I know? 

Flix tix

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

Today I am finally going to watch the third Hobbit movie.  It's been a while coming yet sadly it will have to be on my 13" monitor with my mega-YAMAHA CONCERT 5+1 speaker surround, lol, it's quite ridiculous.  Still, I got me some hot fries raring to go for it.  

 I recently watched another movie, Compliance, and it was sort of not what I expected.  It turned out to be about a fast food worker that was basically corralled into a sexual favor and assault by her manager and a guy on the phone that pretended to be a cop that was probably in kahootz with her.  The movie doesn't lead on that this is true but it DOES say that the whole story is real life which makes it doubly disturbing.  The guy that called used calling cards to make the calls presumably making the call difficult to trace yet in the end they finally catch up to him.  

Another movie I watched was P2 which was ok but meh, I was expected booby shots.  It was still pretty good though but the villain, a security guard gone rogue, was rather shallow and not very complicated.  It doesn't say what made him snap though I guess the whole Christmas line was a part of it. 

Yet another movie was Apartment Troubles.  It was very in-depth.  I only really enjoyed it a bunch after watching it the second time.  At first I thought the two girls were lifelong friends and boo hoo they run out of money and one of them has a rich daddy.  But the second time I caught on that the rich girl was actually a call girl and that her time with the other girl was a totally parasitic relationship and even though the whole time the artistic rich friend whose parents have money who is carrying the frumpy looking BFF who is a struggling actress as sort of a crutch, you completely see the reality of the whole relationship at the end of the movie when they come back to the apartment and the rich girls' haul of artistic stuff is taken away and she is left with nothing.  Then I watch her eye the landlord that looked at first like he was taking advantage of her and sold her stuff and then you realize that he is her pimp and she didn't mind that he sold her priceless gallery of art because it WAS in fact junk.  

Then you watch it a second time and realize that the roommate WAS vile enough to kill the cat and then flew her friend to LA to stay with this woman that was trying to molest the nice one and then it all clicks into place that this one girl was literally SURROUNDED by people on a totally different level than her.  It really MUST be watched twice to get anything out of it.  It was pretty cool, plus the actress, kind of reminds you of Rachel Maddow, or better yet like a babe in the woods, lol.  No offense intended of course.  

Well, we'll keep it short today I guess.  I got Mass Effect 3 but I'm back into playing Destiny again and I haven't even cracked the character really.  I might go ahead and buy the expansion(for Destiny) but I wonder if it's going to be worth it.  I can't really afford $30 for it.  

Diablo 3 has a new twist since I went back and played that for a while once Destiny updated its servers once.  It plays great and funny thing is it's just like Torchlight.  You can just keep putting stuff in the Universal Chest and switch out characters ad nauseum which makes for great replayability.  

You know what else is sickening is that I have Dead Space 2 sitting there waiting and I even bought the book for it and the plastic is still on it.  That's a shame.  I sometimes want to pick up Dead Space 1 over again but I lent it to my brother.  There's something weird about all video games in that they ALL suck when the second one comes out.  Examples include Halo, Dragon Age, Dead Space, Bioshock, I mean don't get me wrong all those games were a sure thing as far as whether or not to buy them and like them, but they are never BETTER than the original.  I guess they speed up production or something and sacrifice a lot of refinement and player testing to roll out the product that everyone is anticipating... sooner.  

I love that you can download games and keep them on your hard drive.  I used to SAY that Sony should come out with an 3 or 6 disc changer for their Playstation but does anyone listen?  Noooooo.  The harddrive is ideal anyways but you might still want to have the disk since a lot of corruption is out there and sooner or later people are going to want to play their games disconnected from the internet.  

Even now I have this guy named TheRealMaihes sitting there having sent me a friend request.  I declined it and now the system can't remove his name.  I try to delete his message and nope it won't work.  It's been a week now and I am wondering how long I have to see his name in my messages list.  See?  First virus on XBOX.  For all I know, he might have control of my system, changing probabilities on my item drops, blurring the cursor lock on my FPS, or maybe he just likes tracking what videos or actresses I look up on my xbox video.  

That's the downside of having games on the cloud is that you would have to connect to do that and you might be tired of the slow pace loading is taking, especially when someone else might be on your system.  What's more is that I have noticed several times that my controller does some wacked out thing that has never happened before.  More reason to want to PULL out the internet cable and play your games in peace until you want some competition.  

It seems that often when I least expect it, someone calls on the phone or blurs my screen or interrupts the satellite somehow and it's really starting to rattle my brain.   Recently I went to buy a giftcard so that I could extend my 3 month membership with xbox online and the guy that sold me the card was carrying on talking with me getting me to like him while talking about stuff and then he gave me a look like a devil incarnate and cleared his throat much like Seymour Hoffman did in Along came Polly.  It's bad enough I have to feel like a pariah without little kids taking my happiness away at inopportune times.  THREE DAYS went by before I resolved to make a complaint and I believe it's things like that that make me write out blogs like the recent ones where I am unleashing my innermost thoughts in moments of disgust.  But it's also important to note them, so that for posterity, people can see how this sort of thing can happen to someone while having everyone else remain completely oblivious to it.  

Venting is important.  I am completely at ease now that I called his manager back and made a complaint.  I am learning more and more that it doesn't matter so much if he ever gets disciplined for his hateful behavior but it IS important that I take action of some sort to just maintain my peace of mind.  

Daniel-san, is very important to breathe... 

Chris, demons exist

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99


It bugged me last night that Chris Hayes seemed to think that most people that saw demons, WANTED to see demons, and so were making it up. So I resolved to write about it today to maybe open his eyes if he reads this.  

Now, this is something that you should really pay attention to is that you don't WANT to be able to see demons.  It's like they say in the movies that once you can see demons, they can see you.  And once they see you, they ALL start to want to push your mind to collapse.  Remember also, that demons are just people that perhaps you can't put your finger on.  People that DEAL in evil want you to leave them alone to continue to perpetuate evil, but obviously your perfect world has just had a "rift" open in the space/time continuum.  Once you know about some of them and if you can't just single them out from the rest, by putting them in jail, they will gather together and try to single YOU out from the rest of your dimension, so as to seal the rift.  This is what they mean by the veil, or doors, or windows into the soul, or even tears in the fabric of space.  

Oh you get it now?!!! 

Last night I was watching an old show I had seen before called Deliver Us from Evil.  I have seen it many times and often I would guess at what the images mean.  In this case, even though the movie was about demons and exorcism, the end credits attribute the story to a real life police officer and priest and supposedly a real life demon that was exorcised.  

Intriguing right?  

The movie stars Eric Bana and Olivia Munn and I was sort of disappointed that there were no boobie shots or a love scene since this was a light budget horror movie but since the story was tight and the effects were awesome and since I recognized the two actors, I watched it several times and grew to really enjoy it.  It reminds me of another movie called The Conjuring that shows the steps needed to create a demon.  It sounds stupid unless it has come close to happening to you and you SEE what they are talking about.  

Being possessed is something that can only occur in the city.  That is, in a large city where huge groups of people go around unnoticed and  are willing to act to convert a sane person into a puppet.  The first step is infestation.  You make the person believe they are literally surrounded by evil, both by cops, by judges, by drive-thru people, by relatives, even by children.  All it takes is you put these "representatives" in the right place and the person starts to believe that ALL cops are evil, that ALL children are evil, that ALL your relatives are IN on it.  And just like a girl eventually gives up the goods after being "hit" on over and over(have I mentioned how I detest this method even though it works), just so, eventually you will begin to fear your environment, you will begin to fear the woods, you begin to FEEL lost or like giving up.  

Now you might think that since these people are SO interested in making this happen, that they would cease to let it continue once you started to show signs of losing your mind.  But no, apparently there is a process or something and it really doesn't stop until you make some sort of outside connection.  YOU have to make it stop because, the people who do this, they ENJOY it.  I would love to point out who these people are but the more I talk about it the more it sounds like I am one of them.  Do you see why this is such a delicate subject?  Again the more you start believing me, the more your eye will wander at the bar or at the hotel or at the festival outside.  The more curious you are about things you don't normally venture into, the more interesting they become to you.  That's where they get you because these "demons", that's all they do all day after making 400 bucks from 40 cents worth of drugs is figure out who wants them in jail.  They "work" 5 days a month and the rest of the time they can decide to work on security which means spying out people with a "wandering" eye.  

This is why the bible warns of PRIDE because there is no way in hell! you should try to take on anyone of these people alone.  Take their picture, record their voice, or write in a journal but don't go right over there and start up a conversation about what they do for a living because once the lying starts, so does the surveillance.  Trust me when I say that days later after chatting up one of their workers someone will show up with an evil "eye"(someone puts salt in one of their eyes and makes you SEE his/her ugly irritated eye) to let you know they are watching you and if you don't already have the police on your side, you had better get it.  As a journalist you probably think that they can surveillance you till they are blue in the face since you have nothing to hide and you probably think at least in your mind that if you don't offer offense then none is taken so it's ok to just leave things as they are... don't let that happen, once they do a little surveillance, it grows like an INFECTION, to a greater amount of surveillance and soon they are in your phone, computer, your car, your work area, and even your mail and advertisements.  Again these people, (did I mention that these were PEOPLE), enjoy doing it and are probably not anyone you have ever seen before.  They aren't going to have mercy on you once you begin to insult your wife or your boss or after you lose your job or get in a car accident.  Once your life starts to hit the rails, you might think ok they've had their fun they are probably going to stop bothering me now.  No, trust me, the only thing to do is to gather evidence and do it BEFORE you go to the police because in a corrupt police department, as you have seen lately... exists, it's easier to put the rape victim into a mental institution, than to put the whole police department in danger by taking on a group of people doing surveillance that are probably getting paid to do it by... let's see who is paying these people... oh yeah, GANGS.   So much safer yeah?  You see now why policemen can't have fear?  It's so much easier by the fearful police to just say "aw shucks, if they was doing drugs why do we the police gotta go risk OUR lives because THEY did drugs."  Do you see how that purpose is BENT? 

Us/them much? 

Oh yeah, the movie, well in the movie, Eric/main character is a policeman who has a secret where he beats up a sick man who kills a little girl.  The man asked for help halfway through the beating and Eric really doesn't act this part well because even though he doesn't show it onscreen, I know that he started to enjoy it... to enjoy(to possibly enjoy) beating up the helpless man... to death.   

This is his secret.  

The movie turns to another scene where a lady is being told by someone to dump her baby into a canal and then later she is taken down after apparently telepathically speaking with a main man, a "source" demon or maybe a master demon.  Eric is also a master, and he has his apprentice cop next to him all throughout the movie, much younger and mucho macho in shape and stuff.  

Now it's because Eric lost his mind that one moment in time, while beating up that man, that he as a cop now has this "sense" of evil.  He talks about it to his apprentice who probably wonders how old he has to be before HE gets the power.  This theme has been repeated thoughout movie-dom which to me is like all of history.  Eddie Murphy had this in 48 hrs.  Picard has this after he is rescued from the Borg.  The wardens have it after they drink the blood of the enemy in Dragon Age: Origins.  Riddick has his eyes that see evil yet he is still divine after having killed a whole lot of people.  Spiderman has it after being bitten by a spider right?  "Spidey-sense tingling", he says.  It's figurative but it's also real life. 

Once you've been tainted with evil, you have dreams of the dragon or of the Omega or you can see the EYE like the Hobbit does when he tastes evil over and over by putting on the ring.  Do you see that?  That once you put on the ring, now you are one of US and not them.  Now you are someone that uses secrets that uses shadows that hides the truth.  Not once does he lie(wait, did he find his courage?), though perhaps that is why he can be absolved or redeemed is because he has had evil thoughts but he has not ACTED out evil.  Remember the Paladin?  He can think evil thoughts, weigh them in his emotions, do cowardly deeds that don't befit a paladin, but once he does an evil act, one that wrongs another, he will NEVER be paladin again.  

And if I was the son of the devil he would be thanking me now because oh boy, have I met a BUNCH of people that will never be paladin again... 

Oh yeah, the movie, so later on after he arrests the girl who threw her baby away on command, he checks out the video and finds that she wasn't nuts, she was being directed.(Who knew?)  Later on, he meets a priest that starts to explain about demons mostly because Eric can't put it all together much like all of YOU can't put it together because it takes time to understand.  It takes time to learn.  LEARN.  Do you get it now?   Most people don't like to learn, most especially they won't want to learn about how evil works.  That's why the catholic church is so important.  Sure they have their failings but like in so many instances, there is history there.  50/50.  The pope KNOWS what he is talking about, not because he is telepathically connected to god, but because he is like me and like MANY other preachers out there that are willing to learn about evil and to master it.   There is an old saying that "only a wounded physician can hope to heal".  That's your message for today is to listen to physicians with wounds because they know how to heal them, how they happened, and what has or has not worked.  Also remember, 50/50.  Another Bush as President could be a phenomenological leap from his brother in an attempt to completely redeem the family name, or he might just completely and expertly do whatever he wants, this time with zero to NONE chance of people from the press or from the proletariat to stop him.  

Oh, the movie,  so once you get halfway through it you got this "source" demon literally being able to do incredible magic and knowing what I know, and the pope knowing what the pope knows living literally next door to the original Italian mafia, we know that incredible things(magicks) happen when GROUPS of people work the strings all in concert usually against very few people.  So as I am watching I'm trying to figure out how people in the hallway coincidentally separate the master from his apprentice(not really) and then the apprentice dies from someone that is just better at fighting, a killer born, which is what the source demon was and that leads us to the finale where the source demon captures Eric's wife and daughter and then calls him from his house.   It's a move that literally begs incredulity because what person would do this?  It's unfathomable and yet it happened in real life.  Obviously the movie makes it quite the spectacle and that brings us to the finale(what, was that redundant?) where the guy just gives himself up and they put him in a room and everyone knows, most especially the source demon that this violence-filled man is going to be forced to beat him to death to get the information he needs to find out where his wife and daughter is(which he has done before and which the demon knows).  And this fight, this EPIC conflict between a master demon and a master cop whose apprentice was killed and whose wife and daughter were taken, has all been staged to take place there at the police station.  EVERYONE will know that this master cop has been turned and will know his secret and ALL of the station will now carry his secret if they will all let it.  

This is much like Othello again.  See that?  Flip the one piece and all the police station is now flipping over to the dark side.  To the master demon and his horde, that's a goal worth risking.   

But as you watch the next scenes you begin to see that the priest has done his work well.  He accepted the master's confession.  So, he released the binding spell the demon had over Eric and he went into the exorcism free of being bound by the demon's words.  Later as the demon changed indeed the smell and the shade of the very room from day into night, to two men stood there convincing the man to come out of the demon, showing him, daring him to believe in the uncorrupability of the department, of this man, of this master.  And even as the demon got his second wind and attempted again to bind the cop through anger, through provocation, through spell and spam, the cop/master followed the acts of the priest and showed himself to the demon as someone worthy to see his soul.  

The demon too was fighting.  He is possessed.  All demons are possessed because they are fearful of someone of greater power.  People lose faith in their police and believe that they are not ruled by their peers but by mercenaries that work for a lord.  Once people believe police corrupt or lose faith in their police department, they can be possessed by evil not because they enjoy doing evil deeds but because it seems that if they don't act first, they will be acted upon. This demon showed us that.  His fear of a higher hand, of a more powerful demon, of one that buys and pays cops to betray regular people, is what drove him before the exorcism, and it's only through this cleansing where both souls are brought close together through lies and noise and disguise and finally through a blank stare... that there can be a cleansing.  Where a demon's/man's fear can be turned from fearing that all people work for the one king who has doomed him, to believing that he is safe and that the system works and that noone, most especially this master cop and priest, wants to kill him.  Once he has faith in the system again, once he understands as I do that people that are normal don't want anyone to even be hurt, he can work with the police and not feel that they will slaughter him through some unfortunate masturbation accident in his jail cell... (what?)  

How do I know this you ask?  Well, it's because of all of my time in customer service.  Rarely, we would have people call in that were possessed by demons on the phone(yes really lol no not really) but like in the movie, for some reason, it would show they were calling from New York!(just kidding)  Anyways, seriously, people that were irate on the phone could not be calmed down.  We were forced to be subservient to everyone and since we couldn't raise our voice, they would just continue to rant and rave even to managers about whatever little thing was wrong with their bill.  This was, of course, illegal.  You can't harass people on the phone any more than you can harass people in real life but since it was allowed it continued and since it was allowed to continue, some people got really good at it.  My sister quit her job there for that reason.  Everyone used to make mention that customer service was one of the hardest jobs out there next to CEO.  Why?  Well, because you had to take so much stress from people pouring hate into the phone.  

What was my solution?  What did I learn that defeated this notion?  I learned to raise my voice.  Only an exorcism defeats the demon.  They start yelling, so YOU start yelling and eventually as both your souls face off and the possessed person finally understands that you care about him and that you are free from hate, that your heart and soul and indeed your emotions are right there for him to see, only then does he calm down and explain his real problem and why and how he needs it fixed.  

See, so you people should thank me.  Customers are not allowed to abuse associates anymore probably mostly because of me(pride).  Now I was free from abusing this and never did I enjoy raising my voice at people but eventually other people did it just like I did, which I didn't mind as a supervisor and then they started to enjoy it, which I did mind.  Some of those people got fired and it was probably my fault to some degree... but overall the customer service area became a sane place to work in.  A place that had order in it and where people didn't complain about wanting to quit anymore.  

So if I can allow myself a moment of PRIDE, there thank you.  Now let me just say that there is a good reason to keep with the catholic religion, not to allow it to rule us but to have it as a workout routine to remind us of our past and what having blind faith is like and how good it feels.  We should all practice religion, we should practice it like we drink liquor, which means maybe once or twice weekly, in my opinion.  Maybe have a Wednesday(Odin's day do nothing day) and Saturday(Saturn's day the god of wine) days of going out and a Sunday(day of the sun) and Thursday(Thor's day is a day to get hammered with religion ((oh that doesn't make sense))) as days of religion and confession or cleansing.  If I had a million dollars I would open up a catholic or baptist church that was also a bar.  My dad says it's ridiculous but take your time and consider it.  Consider a place where your secrets were safe and where revealing them would be considered heresy.  It's nice to drink liquor at the bar.  Trust me I know.  There was a time where I would welcome people to sit by me and we would have a long conversation about politics or about religion.  I have to admit sometimes people would get ornery and even though I didn't disagree with anything they said, it got to a point where the bartender would shut us all up.  A good idea I guess.  Still worse though, (ok I was about to end this but I guess now I'm going to talk about the bar) is when they try to CHANGE the bar.  Sometimes instead of everyone caring about each other and listening to each other's problems which could include things like water pollution, traffic jams, corruption in city hall, sometimes instead of that people want you to shut up at the bar.  This is great but if you don't connect to other people, you don't CARE about other people, and eventually even though they might be all showering in piss water, paying twice the normal property tax or missing work because of a corrupt mechanic or whoever, what happens is the whores and the drug dealers all talk to each other and everyone else is not allowed to talk.  Us versus them.  That's what people from New York or New Jersey are doing to the bars here in Jacksonville.  That's what they means by aliens invading.  The aliens usually have more technology but what they REALLY have is a precise know how of how to us/them a people so as to maximize profit.  That's what happened in Greece right?  People that knew how to profit from a lax derivatives trading system caused the collapse of our economy and when we fixed ours they went over to Greece and caused the collapse of theirs.  

This is a very old story.  

Even in Detroit right?  People show up from out of town to fix the city's money problems and suddenly the city and police pensions are gonna have to take a hit, while a few others from out of town do the FIXING... and get rich.  You should be very wary of people from out of town doing ANYTHING in your town.

Ok so I've rambled on enough.  So from all of this you should take note that the POPE knows what he is doing, God bless him.  We should all hope that he remains existent and alive, as the royals do, to serve as a beacon, to show that SOMEONE knows what evil is and is safe from it and is NOT ACTUALLY perpetuating it.  The pope KNOWS how to exorcise demons... and, in a way, so do I.  

PS. Remember also evil is not normal and that it must be allowed to vent.  Hatred is like this.  It gets poured in over and over and if you don't vent it, it builds.  People see this in you and may want to pop it, imo.  I believe evil people feel guilty, so much so that they hurt themselves to offset the pain they've caused others.  Perhaps this is why so many executives delve into masochism, to purge the wrong they feel inside.  Remember in Sin City when omg beautiful Carla Gugino gets her hand eaten and then she exclaims that the guy made her watch and then Mickey Rourke's character says, "dames, all they gotta do is let it out and a few buckets later you couldn't tell the difference".  I believe that crying releases you from guilt somewhat and that people that cut themselves, induce this crying for that reason, so that they can be "released" from the pain/guilt that they feel from whatever source, sort of the like the priest did to Eric Bana in the movie. 

Ok so what evil did Carla do you might wonder, well, she got into bed with that other actress(that we all saw in the movie shorts) and made her think she was going to be in the movie, lol, that's just wrong... 

"here feel these..."

You'll be DEAD

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

I have mentioned this before that I was poisoned at Taco Bell, yeah?  Well, I was driving at night after leaving the bar as I usually did and stopped at Taco Bell to have myself a mexican pizza.  

As it turns out a great many people show up at Taco Bell at 2:30am for some reason.  Could it be? NO! It couldn't be that ALL of these people need to put something in their stomach before they head out onto the road yes?  Before they head out onto the road while impaired?  While some residual oh say... .01% alcohol is dissolved by some food and drink that helps to hurry that poison out to the their urinary tract?  

Yeah, it's not MY problem, it's society's problem.  And though you might wish it weren't so, fact is, some of a GREAT MANY people, are singled out for DUI because of the way the system works.  

It needs fixin'.  

Now, be that as it may, I am STILL not a drug-user or a whore getter or whatever else kind of criminal likes to drive around at night after leaving the bar.  You would think that makes me immune to these "special requests" but fact is the first time I was arrested, NOT convicted, was at 2:30am which makes me think that BOTH times I was singled out for DUI despite not having broken a law yet.  

In any case, the purpose of writing today was to inform you all that Taco Bell poisoned me.  Yup, it was on one such night some time ago that I ordered a Mexican Pizza and some other stuff and while I ate the other stuff first and relished finishing it all off, and heading home, that night I had an excessive amount of acid.  The next morning it lasted all morning and clear into the day.  Then later, as I thought back to what could have caused my powerful liver, that I have treated SO well over the years, to react so badly to food, it occurred to me that the pizza had a that funny taste of soap in it.  Yup.  And the experience didn't last just that day but a couple of days.  

Now rereading this, I don't mean just like acid from like too much tomato sauce on a pizza, I mean like throw up my stomach or drink a bunch of milk of magnesia acid.  I stayed off the medicine though knowing that whatever it was, I needed to suffer through it or it would be there much longer than normal.  Even so, without taking medicine, the acid/reflux/whatever lasted for several days and even though I didn't want to make a big deal about it, it stung doubly hard that someone did this intentionally.  

I got really pissed about it for a long time and then I resolved to report it.  I might have died if I had a bad reaction or I might have who knows what happen to me as a complication.  

Now you might think to yourself, BOY were they in trouble, right?  I mean someone claiming that Taco Bell poisoned its food would mean Aces for that store.  But as it turns out there is no place to complain.  No place that is official.  I looked up for the Health Department and nothing.  I asked other stores where to call and nothing.  I even searched the Blue Pages from an old phone book and there was nothing.  I searched the website and nothing.  There was NO PLACE could you go and ask someone to go visit that store.  

Do you think I want to call up a store with a criminal working there that is willing to poison people, and complain to THEM?  

THEM? (lol, from Riddick.) 

Eventually, I kind of got over it, as I was forced to since I had no avenue of complaint.  This was a crime but what evidence was there?  Never mind, don't ask.  All they would have was my word but trust me, at that point, I realized it could happen to others and even my worthless rant was worth putting it down on paper somewhere.  

But it didn't happen.  I put it here on my blog so I wouldn't forget it but it remains unanswered all these years later.  Once I went back to the store and asked them for some nachos free of charge and they agreed, so this tremendous crime was resolved by a serving of 99 cent nachos.  That's how I left it. 

The Blanding Store in case any of you care. 

Now, years later, after telling everyone about my incident and how I was unable to get anyone in trouble, I get arrested for DUI.  You see how that works?  A perversion.  Instead of arresting the real criminal or criminals, we can just put the rape victim in a mental institution.  She should have known ALL ALONG that that's how the world works, right?  

Pfft. 

There's a lot to be said about the power of rumor, like they said in Edge of Tomorrow, by the end of the day, even though the Colonel was simply doing a dirty deed done dirt cheap, he got switcherood into being a deserter, THIS CLOSE, to being hung out to dry by ALL the people he eventually comes to save by the end of the movie.  

I don't have to tell you that being impaired/buzzed/drunk is a nice way of saying that your mind is unsound.  Terrifying isn't it?  Imagine someone saying that to you, an intellectual, and not wanting to punch them in the mouth.  But that's what you are when you drink.  You can call it tipsy but to a police officer, once you are unsound, it's ALL THE WAY possible for him to shoot you 14 times for acting like a schizophrenic.  

Where'd I get that from?  Recent example maybe?  

So you just watch yourself, some monsters out there have the death sentence in 14 systems, and you might say to yourself "thanks, I'll be careful..." (quote from Star Wars)

PS. I finally figured out what the S stands for and it's not a symbol for hope like it says in Man of Steel, and it's not the symbol for Sulfur like I said in a previous journal where I said he was the devil, it stands for a broken circle.  It stands for the opposite of a cycle, the breaker of the Ouroburos.  Yeah I know, that still makes him an anti-christ, sorry for your luck Superman. Notice how Superman doesn't actually ever really get the girl? I mean the movie shows that he does but deep in all of your hearts, you KNOW he doesn't really get the girl. 

We are... Skulls

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

EDIT: That last journal was almost ready to publish a while back and the computer monitor finally went on the fritz and I had to figure out a new TV to use so now's when I finally got around to it and btw I had a new journal idea to write so today you get two. 

As you might imagine, I am much more happy with A Million Ways to Die in the West as a movie, now that I have seen it several times.  

I have to say that Charlize Theron as an object of my affection role is a much better use of her charm than as an evil-queen-what-just-happened-to-my-career... role. 

And as much as it pains me to say all this about SarahK... I'd still do her.  Even if she was doing 10 guys a day... hmm, ew, naw maybe not.  I'm trying to think now where I would draw the line on that though cuz, I mean what if she slept with 10 guys a week?  Or 10 guys a month?  Even 10 guys a year sounds like a LOT of guys actually so there goes a mind-boggler for all you guys and gals that like to have something to chew on at the cafeteria at HBO or wherever.  

Yeah, I admit it I watched Bill Maher Friday and boy does it sound like a nice place to work... I mean at HBO... working for Bill Maher might be nice but I'm kind of an Alpha male who is sensitive and petty so even though I might relish a nice group hug or two, getting together in a hot tub... EVEN with SarahK and Charlize... is still someone else's dream, not mine.  I don't think I could handle it, though I might just ask someone to tape my MOUTH shut and see if I can somehow survive it, hahaha.  

I was gonna put lol but if I did that and the hahaha THAT would be redundant, as Obama put it.  It's funny but watching Obama put up with twitter haters makes me wonder if that's a part of the life of a celebrity and maybe I shouldn't be so bummed out about it.  I have a lot of haters.  Not just online but nearby at stores and even my neighbors maybe.  I would like to think some of them heard of the great things I did for Citibank but probably what they have heard is what bars I sing Karaoke at and who my "questionable" friends are.  Maybe they have heard of the vehicle accidents I have had?  Dunno.  

Today I want to talk about exceptionalism.  I have told you all before that we have to take over the world.  The only fuel there is to progress is domination.  It's binary.  Putin just did a backflip probably.  He wishes our President would even HINT at domination so that all of his misdeeds can be justified in the name of a greater evil.  But no, exceptionalism and domination don't HAVE to mean us versus them.   

Just today on Alex Wagner's show, I noticed that they covered Bill Maher's monologue on ridding the world of fraternities which paid homage to what Alex said Friday.  And it's strange because I believe it was the FIRST time Alex had ever taken a side on anything.  Often we hear her ramble on about the facts and being amazed by them while lending a careful tone not to "personally" side with either side but in this debate she was not just against fraternities, she was for getting rid of ALL of them.  A sentiment not the least of which is not echoed by the Bush's membership into the Skulls which launched 3 movies and probably not just a few lunch date talks at Yale.  

Fraternities, like whorehouses(I'm guessing), are all about keeping secrets.  So it's a small wonder that most bars are like churches for the devil.  Not because there are actual devils there, but because secrets allow for the switcheroo to occur which can cause your mind to lose itself, more specifically to lose hold of where the truth is and what is normal and what is forbidden.  Once you've lost track of whether or not police will come running to help you if you get in trouble, you're lost in the woods so to speak.  You can yell and scream but most people will just call you a liar and once you start pointing fingers at people, you can expect some of them to not just point fingers back... you can expect to be attacked which means, you can expect people to start acting against you, or to dislike talking nicely to you in general.  This is what it means to be cursed.  Usually this happens to someone who didn't pay his whore or who "narc'd" on someone or to someone who I dunno insulted the wrong person... a somebody.  This means that all these people, usually the ones associated with whores and drug-dealers, now have free reign to spill gas on your shoes, douse your lawn with weeds and seeds, and to perhaps plague your computer and even your pets with all sorts of poison and things.  

This is what it means to be a part of a fraternity.  It means your little GROUP can do what it wants to enemies of the BROTHERhood.  See how that works?  You were teaching them trust and instead you taught them how to be pimps, how to dominate others, how to find fault without evidence, how to tell when it's a good day for a HANGIN'!  

See that?  That's Jesus.  You teach them to become a fishermen of men, yeah? But instead, they become slave-traders.  Good job...  perversion of Jesus is complete... welcome to hell. 

As you might guess now is a good time to figure out, now that we understand that bars and whores and drug-dealers all speak the same language, it's time to figure out what is so great about our country.  Why are we exceptional?  Some people don't see it.  Soldiers are dying, while pimps are playin, while Obama is shufflin, while Rick Scott's a rufflin.  How are we gonna dominate if we got problems?  

I was watching Joel this weekend and that guy is razor sharp.  I mean his words are like picked right out of my brain and I wonder if like maybe he needs my help, lol, yeah maybe not.  But that's how it should be.  It's not hard.  Figuring out what is right and what is wrong and which way to go from here is not an impossible task, but it DOES take work.  Most people working 9 to 5 can't go to the bar and UNDERSTAND whose seat is whose or what girls you can or can't talk to.  You can't just pick a path and know.  Once you pick a path, it's hard to KNOW if you're on the right path and even if it's the wrong path, your presence there, your optimism and clear-mindedness can help enchant people onto the right path.  You could "flip" those Othello pieces all into following your example and thereby MAKING the path you chose into a path that is viable and that perhaps should be stomped out and leveled and paved for others to follow.  Just look at what is happening to Marijuana.  It's getting accepted.  Just look at what is happening to black people.  They are beginning to study and have faith in education and they are starting to be worth listening to and even followed.  Look at what is happening to gays.  Some of them are the greatest artists of our time.  That's no accident.  The most supreme human being is one that has his feelings right at the center of gender roles.  SarahK is sort of a butch woman yeah?  Alex and Rachel too right?  Bill Maher is kind of a sensitive guy for a guy right?  Robin Williams too and Obama?  Girly men and butch women are the closest thing we can get to androgeny.  I don't have to remind you all that I am sort of a girlyman.  I used to sing karaoke, I read poetry for sport not because I have to, I used to watch a lot of porn.  I know that doesn't have a lot to do with it but trust me, it does.  Sensitive men like other people to help them and are generous with their thoughts and with their feelings.  Extreme men or butchy men won't accept help and like to dominate and possess as many things as possible that make him more an alpha ape with his gang of women rather than a member of society and you can never tell what his eyes are telling you unless you are actually standing there at high noon across from him.  Butchy women like to impress others not just with their looks but with their actions.  They are perhaps "generous" too yes?  Their razor sharp wit and mental processing make them dominate their counterparts especially to me since I have been on the lookout for an exceptional wife for like 20 years now.  My experience, is that I get along best with lesbians, not because lesbians give it up much more quickly(I'm guessing yes) but because lesbians tend to be more attracted to sensitive men like me who are WAY too nice for their own good, unless we are having an argument that is.  Regular women like to be taken care of, they like providers, they're not so generous imo.  Oh boy let me hear a date of mine chime out that word PROVIDER once before I haul ass... yeah... not looking like I'm gettin married in the near future here.  

So Joel Osteen's sermon was about finding good friends.  Yeah.  I have this attitude with people, especially because I could sing really well and most people could not, that everyone should be welcome to sing and that with practice, everyone eventually would get better and would receive applause and that nothing is better in life than to hear applause after you legitimately gave a decent attempt at singing well.  

The more the merrier, right? 

Well, turns out drug-dealers probably agree with that sentiment.  Fact is, I probably have been friends with a GREAT DEAL of drug dealers that I didn't know were drug dealers over the years, but sitting here in my house brooding about how I got here, unemployed, makes me wonder about my actions even years ago that led to people losing faith in me.   

Joel's right about friends though, once they become negative, once they don't help you forward or say things like you throw darts funny or we just playing after they insulted you or where's your date or let's change the ante... well, it's time to find new friends.  

People should want to be your friends NOT because they want to form a fraternity, so they can dominate others, they should find you interesting enough to fill a void, perhaps left there by a recent breakup or maybe you have a wife and you both work on cars and the other couple works on houses.  Building relationships, like being a part of a Chamber of Commerce, helps establish a body politic, that is all about subsistence, and then about nobility.  I stole that from Destiny lol.  But it's true.  Once you understand that the goal is not to send the Crusaders off to educate the natives by burning their villages... you understand that the goal of our country is to send the Crusaders off to educate the natives.  That's called doing the LORD'S work. Does that sound wrong?  We all exist.  THAT is our nobility.  We know how it should be just by looking at ourselves.  Do you want more servants?   Would you like people to carry you to your car or to the dinner table or the mall?  Slaves?  To be a noble part of our society is to understand this, that we should be as self-sufficient as possible.  That even though it's nice to have dental checkups, you should not have to go to the dentist once or twice a year because he's got whatever bills he can't afford, you should go and he should feel satisfied, he should feel applauded, as his time spent singing that karaoke has finally paid off and has found a usefulness in our society.  

So I would not be a slave, so I WILL NOT be a master. 

- Lincoln

That's what I like about SarahK.  She's not particularly funny... (ok, I take that back I love her work... wow I almost left it as "I love her" and I started to feel weird) but to me, noone is very funny, but she is enchanting and with effort, practice and rehearsal, and fine-tuning and filtering, she entertains me exquisitely.  I didn't like her at first, she seemed too butchy despite how good looking she is.  But fact is it takes a lot of gumption to stay in the business she was in.  And now that she has and is there as a good example of success, we can look forward to MORE funny ladies which by the way are easier to look at than say, George Carlin.  

It's like Emily Blunt in Edge of Tomorrow.  You kind of see how Tom Cruise would be in love even if he doesn't say it.  Over time, if you watch enough of her stuff, and it's GOOD STUFF, you start to like her no matter what she does because you understand her intention is to make you feel better and you trust that... even if she makes fun of the chinks... in my armor, D'oh! 

Enchantment is the goal.  You must enchant people with reality.  Like Joel says, in time people will do great things together because they believe in a greater future.  God will take you places that you've never been.  Still I have to say, I don't want to carry his messages as my own because they seem stolen, like comedy perhaps, so this is probably the last time I will mention his sermons.  

I guess.  

Now that we understand what exceptionalism is, oh what we don't?  Well, a great society starts with your family.  Your brother, your sister, your parents will provide you with your greatest source of struggle mostly because you can't change them out.  And though Joel says you should move away from bad friends, which I totally agree with, you have to remember to maintain your family as best you can.  Understand that they did, and DO, things with good intentions.  And once you have a family that understands rules and boundaries and norms and everyone is happy, now we can have a neighborhood.  In this neighborhood we need to figure out where the black people are and move away... AH hah just kidding.  But once you've got your family loving you and you loving them, now it's time to get shocked by how everyone else acts.  You all grew up together but other families grew up in the sticks or at the halfway house or at the country club or maybe at a university or private school.  New families might even be filled with whores and drug-dealers, right?  Who knew?  These are a part of your community too and why aren't they in jail you ask?  Because you can't catch them.  They were BORN agile and fast and curious.  You aren't supposed to just go out to the police and point them out and say THERE GO THE WHORES, like they did to me in the drive thru by the way, no you are supposed to gather evidence that they have been misbehaving and if you can't do that... well then there is no crime.  

Oh you get it now?!  

Yeah, child abuse is only abuse if the child grows up and says my parents made me kill people.  You can't just ask children about abuse because they are too young to understand that the abuse is for their own good.  This is where having like minds is so important.  

For example, imagine that you live in the woods.  Father goes out digs wells, carries burros full of goods from the city out to his neighbors who he charges a slightly higher price to pay for his efforts and since he has no doctor, no police, no taxes or government of any sort, he kind of abuses his children.  Usually he grabs a switch, a tree branch, and when they get too curious about going into the woods filled with snakes or the river filled with crocodiles, or up a mountain where there might be mountain lions, he abuses them.  Terrible right?  What was he thinking abusing his children with violence when every civilized person knows that it's not necessary?  Now imagine these children come to America and raise children using the same violence.  Now imagine the writer is forced to punish his naked girlfriend in bed with her lover not with violence meant to abuse her but to correct her behavior.  Now imagine he's 20 years old.  Violence is a seed.  It's only learned through suffering.  If you are hungry enough, you can be forced into violence but more commonly someone does violence on you and you learn from it that it MIGHT be normal to do it to others.  Think of the werewolf.  The story is meant to show you what it's like to be violent.   Once people know you are violent, even in games, NOONE forgets your face and everyone wonders if you could be violent again and probably they might even try to provoke you so that they can hurry up and put you in jail.  

But... it's because others exist FILLED with evil that these sentiments can be switcherood.  Because you were once violent maybe it's ok to be thrown into a parking lot or thrown onto a bed and beaten or maybe you were man-handled by police, now it's ok to PROFESS violence in dealing with you.  Maybe it's ok to spew hatred through various SECRET forms of communication.  Now righteously you can exact violent behavior onto him and this "werewolf" can either react violently, and find that noone is on his side, to his own chargrin, or eke one step further, by ignoring it, towards his own oblivion...  

Sidetracked, yeah, hate is something that fades away like leaves from a tree.  Seasons change.  The only REAL werewolves are ones that WORK in that profession.  Violence is not natural, and more importantly it must be nurtured like FIRE or else it runs out of things to feed off of... in my opinion.  

Anyways, the message today from me to you is that we have a lot to work on right here at home.  We have to understand and correct how we became this way(we torture prisoners yeah?) and then take this vision of a world without secrets and without violence and spread that message to the world.  As intellectuals, we know superior beings always abuse their power, so we must strive forward to GIVE everyone that deserves that power, the people that understand our laws and the spirit behind them, we must strive to give them weapons.  Weapons make people superior and with weapons, slowly being doled out to clear minded individuals that defend only when attacked, who stand in front of victims, who ask WHY from our leaders with their weapons drawn and expect answers, who are the NODES of society that have earned not only the trust of the community, but that of their neighbors and families and wives; with weapons these EXCEPTIONAL people should be allowed and expected, to take over the world.  

Yes, really.  

And yes, most especially and starting with Mexico. 

It was entrapment

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

In the face of public disclosure, I would say that probably those guys should not have gotten expelled from OSU I think, or from Oklahoma University.  the ones that regurgitated some forbidden "nigger" chant that perhaps everyone in a fraternity KNOWS is supposed to be kept secret.  

Hey FOOL, yes you with the cellphone taking pictures of your frat buddies singing forbidden chant... what the HELL were you thinking? 

I have mentioned it before that if you are looking to improve your mindset, there is only so much that math will do, the rest has to be learned by experience.  The errors that crop up over and over again are going to be the ones that you want to focus on and not the many ones that can come up in theory.  

I have mentioned before that we should not have "forbidden" stuff.  Most things that are forbidden can be used to SWITCHEROO your little infraction into a wallop of an infraction that can be used to blackmail you.  Examples of these include the N-word, prostitution, drugs, and others.  Like in this example we find that the boys were just recanting a chant that was taught to them, not straight out hating black people.  They were engaging in the most basic form of uncivility there is.  

But like I said in the last journal, don't rename these KKK bridges, USE them to teach people what is out there.  You remember that Star Trek episode with the guy that was white on the right side and the other RULING race was white on the left and black on the right yeah?  Well that is a perfect example of what people will do without vigilance.  And to support that purpose we must remind people of the Edmund Pettus bridge, of lynchings, but don't say oh poor black people, say oh GANGS!  Yes, gangs, fraternities, secret societies, even the chamber of commerce and the DNC and RNC, are guilty of the herd mentality where we are better.  Even churches and maybe even some people that work in the service industry(no kidding?) are guilty of this GANG mentality where people that are IN are treated better.  

So don't erase people just for being different.  DO recognize racism like was done with those people on the bus, but talk about it and let it vent out so that ALL people can learn what is normal.  

Remember that some people are vegetarians out there and if you killed their dog and slabbed him up on a grill they would probably kill you, unless they were outnumbered by a whole lot of hungry people.  

It's hard to KNOW what is normal, even in a different city, even in a different family, or even in a different church.  

Oh you get it now?! 

Well, that's my lesson for today is to save it for when you have other people that will agree with you.  Remember the question of where.  It's an old adage about fighting from the high ground but really it's probably best stated as it's better to fight when you are in the majority.   

OK, so in other news, my monitor is literally on the blink now.  I got an extra TV so I moved it back to the computer but I must have bumped it or something because it's all but gone now.  I thought it had something to do with another appliance, and maybe it had something to do with the DVI plug being halfway on, but it really is about to go kaput.  

Yesterday, I had to rake leaves and the first thing that happens is the neighbors' dog, free of a collar, starts to approach me and bark.  I recognized it as a pit bull blend of dog so I was a little leary of it.  Later on it started to bark a lot so I threatened it and unlike the other dog that was in someone else's yard, I resolved to shut this dog down.  

But later on it calmed down some and after I called animal control, I lost my fear of it and started to pity it a little bit.  Once I got to work on the leaves, I was distracted and truthfully it didn't have the face or the eyes of a wild dog because I could see that it was young maybe because it didn't wrinkle its forehead so much.  But I was able to get all of the work done including mowing and the pickup of leaves and later on as it started to become more friendly and come close to me without barking, I started to talk to it and it seemed to understand me somewhat and even though it didn't exactly "roll-over" and let me scratch its belly, I felt sorry that the pound was coming to pick it up.  

Strange though yeah?  I called them at 11:30am because it had already barked at an old man, sniffed another man and his tiny dog that was walking by and pursued two girls that were on the sidewalk, never mind the barking, AND it was unleashed, and 2 hours later those people had still not shown up to secure this "public menace".  

But let me be at a drive-thru, and slur my speech and then it's ok to yell at me until I raise my voice and then mention that the police are coming to get me because they pretended not to hear me over and over and then it's ok if the police man just steps out from behind the drive-thru sign literally 5 seconds after she mentions the word police and has me arrested. 

It was entrapment.  And fact is, they had no probable cause except that lady's word that I would not leave their drive-thru... which was a lie.  A lie the officer believed and used in his report.  What believed... he literally stepped out from behind the drive-thru sign 5 seconds after she said the word police, he didn't ask me what just happened or what the situation was, he just asked me if I had been drinking.  

Well, I am so disgusted I don't know if I am a fool for letting them get away with it, a fool for still caring about it, a fool for not suing the restaurant, or a fool for putting out on my blog for all to see so that everyone can chew on the fact that I was arrested.  

I consider myself VERY intelligent but there is no explaining how I should have handled that.  I mull it over and over and I still don't know.   

An Advocate

BLM WHM SMN SCH THF RNG BRD MNK WAR DRK PLD > 99

I think that the Edmund Pettus bridge is as necessary to our future as is the presence of GW at the march and at most state functioning events.  

Often I have thought of what path I have taken.  One that took me through college and other places.  One that moved me in with someone's wife while only 20 years old.  One that pushed me to work for the government and then for a bank and all the while maintaining my openness for my brother and my sister and their endeavors to get along with most citizens here in Jacksonville.  

I wonder at what paths I have taken but I know that the man I am is a result of the choices I have made.  Now you might be thinking of that GEICO commercial where "people in horror movies make poor decisions" and yeah most of those commercials including the ones from Progressive seem to be about my life or could be interpreted that way, but fact is I would rather have the knowledge I have and not have children, than to have children and NOT have the knowledge or lessons that I have been through, and then have to LEARN some of those lessons at their expense.  

Remember that my motto is 50/50.   YOUR motto should be that too.  Don't regret TOO MUCH your choices and sober up if they have taken you away from the public trust because the people the police want to catch are NOT the criminals that have done bad things in the past, they want the ones that CONTINUE to do things like they are from another country, maybe like I did, organizing and perpetually flouting the law as though it was made for the LESSER beings.  

So I am on a road of redemption.  If you are in my way, well, then get OUT of my way please.  I never meant to lose the trust people had in me and if I have to work at it to earn it back then so be it.  

OH, right, the President, well he gave a great speech in Selma I thought so today I thought I would say that and add that even though GW seems out of place, he's not out of place.  He has learned his lessons and he is the symbol of the lessons we and the world have learned.  The state of the world is HIS fault and he knows it, and we know we let him do it and even advocated that he do what he did.  

So don't rename the Edmund Pettus bridge.  We need to know why it was named.  We need the reminder.  Don't rename Forrest High School, which was also a school named after a famous KKK member.  People need to ask about it and learn and be shocked and as much as people know there are good examples of our past, they should learn of the bad ones.  

Don't be shy about your past, it's only with it intact, like Picard said about unraveling his "tapestry" in the episode Tapestry, that you realize you could not be a great man, without lessons to remind you of... well, of PAIN!