Sloppy

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I really got tired last time and it was sloppy somewhat.  

Religion and state can't co-exist.  To believe your country is better or is the ONE best way is divisive to others. Religion can exist for children, for girlfriends, for temporary things like elections or political parties and laws maybe, but you can't make a religion something permanent like ISIL is trying to do, or like corporations and their visions/causes are doing.  It's like project management at Citibank.  Everyone understands that the new 15.9% Hoo-Haw interest rate is not all that interesting.  You can only sell it so many ways then you gotta let someone else sell the NEW 15.9% interest rate.  Corporations should be temporary.  Religion should be temporary.  It's a part of your life not the whole thing.  Reconcile with God on Sunday, maybe during confession or once a year during Christmas if you like, but don't BELIEVE in righteousness 24/7.  That's being a fool.  That's charging up a lightning bolt or like believing you don't need to eat.  What's gonna happen?  You're gonna be eating... that lightning bolt's gonna flash.  Disorder is as necessary as order to one's existence.  Momentum.  You MUST keep moving.  

Especially during sex,   oh never mind.... see, AGAIN, not a very good preacher... so sloppy. 

PS: I wanna work for Mitt Romney.  His next campaign promises to be like the last one except that with me there, I will make everyone believe in the cause and reign in everyone's beliefs into something that tugs him forward and to the top.  And after I charm everyone into expecting great things like less oversight and more trust from the government who I will convince you thinks like you do, well I expect bad things to come up and for him to betray me and then for me to go, then I expect he will do the same to the country maybe, maybe put the dollars first, but at least we'll always have Paris... Paris? Yeah, Paris Hilton, singing, one night, at a celebration speech somewhere, we'll always have fond memories of having come close to winning...and we will remember having shared these words... I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. 

What Journalism is About

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It's time to talk about Charlie Hedboe.  What's wrong with making fun of some prophet somewhere.  Today I am writing about this in an effort to take you to that edge where freedom meets the pavement.  

Wow, I think that pretty much says it all but I guess I will go ahead and write out the rest of my thoughts.  

I mentioned to you before about Demon Princes right? I have told you about righteousness yes? I have told you why the world was so against Hirohito, the emperor of Japan who could basically spill out words of good will and all would follow, even if those words were to act against others.  

As you can see from the movie The Last Samurai, it's a very tenable thing to have righteousness as a center of society, even in a boy.  When push came to shove, the highest and most righteous of his generals WOULD NOT DARE speak for the emperor, whereas his finance minister had no problem set things into motion using money offering his advice often and shutting down the advice of others when possible.  See, how having righteousness easily translates into we work for money which takes humanity right out of it, civility right out of it.  Working for money is a game of domination.  Eventually people's feelings come second.  Eventually the laws you are following, allow you to perpetuate evil, to act against others legally and wrongly.  Eventually, instead of money being a fluid thing that allows people to reward each other on the basis of effort, like tipping a waitress, it becomes an us/theming tool where some people pay a bunch of money, and others spend NONE of it and hoard the rest... like tipping a waitress.  

That's why charity should not be allowed or why tipping should not be allowed.  People have an ok job to do and they should get ok wages.  Owners don't get more pay because they work harder, they get more pay, ie their business is more successful, because they adjust their practices to become more efficient than competitors.  That doesn't mean OH they work 80 hours a week they deserve 100 times their pay.  If they knew how much evil is out there in the business world, they would just sit back and let their charming business overtake others that are sure to implode out of their own selfishness.  

Evil people, because they act against others, eventually act against the people they are working with.  That's why GW and Cheney eventually fell out.  That's why brothers and sisters fall out.  You have to have a religion, to know how to act against others, so that it never happens to people of your own type.  You have to be able to say, Jonny Quest, and then have them say oh yeah, Jonny Quest, the Invisible Monster, that's him, now throw some paint on him... now lead him back under that light... yeah now flip the switch! 

That last comment has nothing to do with Surveillance and the govt or mafia/local police creating monsters... yeah... nothing.  

So now that your goose is nice and cooked let's take you to the real reason you came to my website today.  We are going to talk about making fun of people.  

As you might guess, I am no longer religious.  I want to be, but I expect to have many problems with other preachers so I don't go to church.  I do watch Joel O'Steen and sometimes the local Baptist pastor and those guys seem to be spot on most of the time.  

This brings me to a good point is that you should not lay too much on me about inspiration.  My blog isn't here to inspire you, even though it might.  As I have moments of enlightenment I want you the public to have the same ones.  I want you to realize OH you take the diameter of the circle squared and that's the area of a circle if it was a square... OH! 

What I don't want you to do is watch the movie PI and then go wow if I become a genius, a whole lot of floppy furskins, one day hunt you down and TAKE what you spent years understanding and building.  Oh boy, you get to be completely powerless while retards beat you up until you work for them and how stupid were you to build your own BOX!  

Hmmf.  

Like I said that's what I don't want you to do.  It's important to note that education keeps people like me from actually being able to preach.  I have plenty of years of education but to be really good at it, I need a doctorate.  I need to be able to throw up stuff over and over like I have an specialized oil plug designed for that purpose that then throws up stuff over and over...  like Rachel.  Or like most preachers that have their doctorate of divinity.  It's not that there REALLY is a lot to study out there about the Bible(how many times do you think they read it?) but that they have been refined enough, writing papers over and over, in front of people, that they won't ever say anything faulty.  

Faulty is a BIG deal! 

Say I say that such and such government official was wrong to do what he did, now I am inspiring you to be a revolutionary.  Say I tell you that putting your wife in her place is what should happen in all families, well now is it my FAULTY when she grabs the cooking pan?  Say I explain that doing what children say is more important than respecting the parent, are there problems that arise out of giving children POWER over their parents?  Let's say I tell you that abortion is wrong, can we set up a temple of sacrifice for all those sluts and pricks that couldn't keep it their pants... while the rest of us revile in their weakness and deny the reality of what sex is? 

Faulty logic is what makes the world go round.  A leader with faulty logic is sure to fail.  It's a very difficult thing to always say the right thing... just ask Picard... who was always right, until the day his mind got hooked up to Dr. Crushers and she could read his mind.  What did she learn?  She learned that he was a fraud!  He didn't know the right way, he just pointed and if he went the wrong way well then it was time to go back and go the right way.  

It's worse not to be moving at all than to be moving in a wrong direction.  Gaining momentum is a difficult thing... very difficult.  A body at rest tends to stay at rest.  It's like inertia or like... gravity. 

Preachers are ... wait for it... demon princes.  What they say is meant to make making decisions about things easier for the people who listen to them.  I am like a preacher or like a shepherd if you will.  If I say something about ACTING against others, people will agree.  It's the basics of preaching.  The Pied Piper.  The rats are the first ones to come.  (SarahK said this recently and I agree that music is like a religion and probably should not be allowed but we need to ALL have music and then we should agree that it's bad for us, like guns, guns aren't bad but if we all had them, then we wouldn't need any.) But people like this, like me, need to be somewhat refined because otherwise, power corrupts, as Chris Hayes pointed out yesterday on his show oh so eloquently with his panel of experts.  And there's nothing more annoying that having someone that can't speak, sitting up there in front of you reading YOUR speech, when you know full well he couldn't spell abracadabra without your help.  

That's what education is is badges.  That's what makes Rachel better than others, makes Obama better than others, Einstein better than others, Hawking better than others, although something about Hawking and the wheelchair... Hawking and the wheelchair... just hold on it's gonna come to me... 

Nevermind, so today my focus is, oh wait I said that, Hebdoe.  WHY are we so afraid of free speech.  Because MOST of YOU haven't spent a full 3 hours in front of drug-dealers like I have.  Sometimes free speech is all about watch your mouth!   Yeah newspapers think the world is about improving the world and tripping up liars and making the bad people go away...  I hope I have opened your eyes to the fact that it's not.

You journalists are just the anti-Christ.  You are meant to point out people that become Christ and point them out to everyone.  Here he goes and there he goes and why is he still in charge ... like Chris Christie.  For every bad person there is someone willing to HUNT them down for profit.  Which is ok, and I'm not saying that it's not ok.  Profit is how we give applause to a job well done.  It's not evil until you treat people unfairly.  It's like LOKI.  When people get that wrong feeling like they have done too much wrong, you can bet they start to FEAR the journalist because that's what journalism is all about, lol, you know what I am going to say right?  What is journalism all about, everyone?! 

KRACKOW! 

Yep, it's about re-balancing.  News Flash!  Yeah, it's about lightning! (Oh you get it now?!) 

But that doesn't mean what you do is good or righteous, it's just a necessary function in society.  It needs to be done by people of average worth that are not yet corrupt.  Remember that in Communism, where everything is run by the government, what people dislike about it is that the government ends up corrupt.  The system is not wrong, it's the people that make it wrong (And if we didn't have freedom of speech I couldn't even speak the words communism and I would have no idea if it was wrong really I would just know it's forbidden to talk about it.) It's not communism anymore if the same people are in charge, that's a dictatorship that just doesn't tell everybody who the leader is but my parents call it that because it always starts out the same and I guess they should know since in Central America, there's been nothing but dictators for eons.  Here's how it goes, the leaders start to vie for public attention much like I am doing now... then they say the rich people are starting to abuse their power so I get elected by throngs of say black people or poor peopleor Muslims... then as I realize that I need money to legitimize my standing in public office, I start to make deals which treat some people better, fast forward to some other people find out, and I can't give special treatment to everyone even though I needed to give SOME people special treatment for the sake of money and legitimacy, fast forward to now I have enemies who now employ OTHER poor people to harass me, fast forward to I hire a BUS DRIVER(current ruler of Venezuela) to fight off these enemies, but still portend great things for the country after I get rid of some enemies, fast forward to I put the rich people in their place but only some of them, let's call them JEWS, and then put them on a train, fast forward to the whole country in a week, starts to ask WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED, and fast forward to I die of cancer which had nothing to do with your new BUS DRIVER as president... 

See now that you read it, we can skip over the part where I take over the world and die betrayed like Caesar or Chavez or Arafat or whoever that thought he could wrangle with lions.  Like Arthur in my previous blog, these leaders aren't incredibly intelligent, they are incredibly LUCKY and then one day it runs out.  One day their heat vision meets the guy that foresaw that heat vision and whattdayaknow, lead pencil, heat vision doesn't erase lead pencil. (ie. makes no sense but what does it matter, you're dead) 

Life in politics is like a game of GO or better known by Othello I guess.  Flip this guy and all guys suddenly like him, flip this other guy and suddenly all guys suddenly like the other guy.  Once you understand how righteousness works, you don't have to be afraid of it and if your smart and a good leader, you stop playing the game.  You begin to understand both sides, and if you're really good you make everyone able to do this, for the good of the country, and if you're really good you do it for free so noone thinks you are batting on someone's team.  

As you can see from this rant, I don't want any of you to become this guy that needs to walk the field carrying the cross that will hang him.  Journalism is about reacting, not creating.  You are all REAPERS!  But that doesn't mean you need to act against others.  Like comedians, if the material isn't there, you're out of a job, but you should rest assured that if society is 50/50, as I have told you it must be, then it's only a matter of time before another news flash.  

Oh boy am I sidetracked, so Hebdoe, well I keep going back to Lawrence and his statements about disagreeing with putting the images on TV.  As you can imagine I'm getting tired of writing again but mark me on this.  Our country is an amoeba.  Inside we have the organs that all work together somewhat fluidly, and outside we have our cilia which direct our movement and capture our prey.  Such is the world of journalism, inside the eggheads, outside the jarheads, it's not hard.  All things are like this, McDonald's is like this, front counter deals with customers, back counter cooks the food, some people work in between cleaning things.  So when you as reapers go out to find your food as good comedians and journalists must do, it's important to gauge your food.  Bill Maher thought he could make fun of Trump without a cost right, Oprah thought she could provoke Tom Cruise and everyone would just be ok with it, (this reminds me of Megan's recent post that she was HOT PIECE OF GASH!), journalism itself can be licentiously wrong like it was with Princess Diana, like Surveillance is, like it is when it comes to celebrities' children.  It can be.  And remember that I just told you that people that have a Demon Prince do not respond well to attacks.  Organizations like that are "wild" in nature, like ISIL or like Hirohito or Kim Jong Un or maybe even like Muslims.  It's not hard to realize that someone got really rich and a WHOLE LOT of Muslims didn't.  People that are Muslim tend to be broke and use that lack of wealth to justify their outcries against the rich which may be justified... except that being broke is not a religion.  Being broke usually means you are not trustworthy.  It usually means you have USED UP your trust.  It usually means you spent all of your money and don't believe you have the charm to start over.

Being broke usually means, you have no faith.

That's why I rant and rave here about Rachel and her (I can't put good words to describe her this way but she said she was like a "babe in the woods" so I'll go with that, especially with the BABE part, lol)

Trust me on this, no matter where you are, it's 50/50.  Some journalists are bad.  They are hiding right behind the good ones waiting to sell off some private thing noone is supposed to know about.   And just like there are bad journalists, there are bad followers of righteousness out there, willing to fast forward their lives, to justify that they were not wrong, to skip over the dreary part where they actually have to grow things.   

So my message to MSNBC anchors is this, mind your mentors; because just like I would not send a journalist to cover a war where rich people live in a center that noone can get to and here you are in nice clothes, I would not have my people inciting or attacking others.  Responding, reacting, repeating, even complimenting maybe but never attacking and when it comes to nations or movements that are moved in a manner like this like Christianity and Muslims and others where interpretations change like people change their minds... I would have people recognize who they are dealing with... with demons. 

Demons are chaotic and evil.  You cannot predict what they will do but you CAN predict that they like hurting others.  And because this way of thinking is the most vile and the most unpredictable, it's a safe bet to say that when dealing with these... well, it's just better not to.  

Same goes for comedians who speak out against regimes I guess but that doesn't mean we censor their thoughts, or arrest them, it means we the public are cognizant or sensitive to a regime's feelings, like a diplomat would be.   Sure they are CHILDREN to have religion as a state but, as are many things... it is what it is.  

Remember my analogy of the flower?  First goodwill, then the laws, then the flower.  When people feel religion, it is a beautiful and temporary thing.  It's meant to inspire others to have sex.  We can feel righteousness for oh so brief a moment when being completely out of your mind is the right thing to do.  That's religion and righteousness.  That's the rose.  That's love... ageless and evergreen[seldom seen by two]. (Evergreen the song that I have memorized) 

What a beautiful thing yes, so temporary, so fragile, so precious?

You wouldn't take that from someone would you? Would you take their happiness? 

If you did, and if they weren't altogether there civility-wise, they might be really PISSED that you did it.  In fact a whole GROUP of them might be.

PS. It's important to note, that Chaotic Evil and Lawful Evil indicate selfless behavior, whereas someone Neutral Evil is selfish.  He puts all other concerns behind keeping himself alive understanding that good or bad must be sacrificed for the sake of their own existence.  Drug-dealers are a lot like liches or Neutral Evil, huh, and not so much devils  or Lawful Evil, yeah? Hmmf, now I've lost with it again, I can't tell which is which.  See I can preach but I'm not necessarily good at it yet.  

Surveillance

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~I think we're alone now... doesn't seem to be anyone arah-ha-ha-hound. 

For some reason that song is repeating in my head today.  I'm not sure I like having a soundtrack play in my head every time I get emotionally happy but meh it's not so bad.  

It was bedazzling to me to find out in one of Sarah's recent podcasts that she knew how to sing and even had some songs memorized so much so that she could ad lib at different points in the song.  It was like she was letting me know that she has a soundtrack going on in her head too.  I felt a sort of kinship... mostly in my upper body... okay way up in my upper body ok maybe like in my head somewhere... oh shut up.  

Her music was totally alien though.  All taken from some musicals she obviously had practiced long ago that I have no clue what they are, so not much in common after all I guess.  

Yesterday, I was watching Rachel and Chris and I told my father about this certain commercial that was playing that for some reason lost its sound.   It sounded like someone was jamming the satellite signal but only the sound part, but when I changed the channel the sound went back to normal, so that means it can't be some neighbor pointing a signal jammer at my satellite though I have had a lot of trouble opening the garage at different points in time probably due to someone jamming the signal that comes from the keypad on the door to the center that operates the crane.  

It's fine.  People want to make me crazy but all they do is teach me things, so its fine.  When the lesson turns to hatred, then it's time to take their picture, and one of their house and then one of their car because everyone's gonna wanna know why.   

Have a nice day.  

So today I am going to work on getting my computer fixed some more and then I'm going to clean my room enough so that I am sure I am not being surveilled.  

I have been fruitlessly trying to stay logged in to Destiny's servers.  Destiny is a game where you interact with other people online and go kill monsters.  But I have been getting kicked off ceaselessly.  What I find strange is that if this is such a widespread problem, why are some people walking around with fully leveled up characters and have clan labels presumably allowing them to chat with each other ad nauseum about how to plan strategies.  How can they have all of this time to organize things when for me, I spend like 10 to 30 minutes before getting knocked off my connection?  

Well I spent most of last night looking up an answer online.  I talked to this useless girl at XBOX that treated me really well but had no idea what was happening and blamed it all on the game.  Small wonder, I found the answer myself after spending an hour or two with a girl on a chat screen and basically justifying someone's job that has absolutely NO skill whatsoever.  She showed me how to unplug and plug the machine back in.  Yeah, I know, I knew that already.  

What I learned yesterday about routers is more than what I have learned about them in my whole life.  I was always good at computers but when it came to modems and the Internet, I figured the information would just flow into me by Osmosis.  Probably a lot of people think this is the best way to study is by sitting in front of the book and reading it over and over again hoping you will enjoy it eventually.  This is not true.  To learn things you have to use note cards.  You have to ask yourself, "what did I just read", you have to summarize then repeat.  I now do movies like I do learning, I pretend to learn it, then I watch it again totally enjoying the parts I missed, then if I really like the actors and the upcoming sideboob shot or slow kiss or woman's hair on a man's face shot, then I pay attention to the whole setting wondering what those two are thinking and if they can lend something to my existence that explains HOW you meet good-looking women without taking them from someone else. 

I wonder about people surveilling me.  I want them to learn from me as much as I am learning from them.  I take some time to wonder if they are good people because if they are then they need ME to infect THEM.  If they are bad people then, I need to organize a way to trap them.  So I mull it over my head and even though I'm alone, I brood.  I brood. I brood. I brood.  

But enough of that.  At least I don't have the neighbor lady waking me up at 5am every morning like she used to and that has changed the map somewhat.  My focus now is to get back to work but to do that I need to feel safe and to feel that I'm going to need to gather evidence of a threat.  

Ok, logical right?  Don't want the police calling you crazy because then you would have enemies on both sides right?  That would make you feel like you didn't belong on Earth right?  Right.  So word to the wise, if you have enemies, you're going to need evidence and maybe you use it, maybe you don't, but you will need to up the power level on your side so you don't feel like you are just getting beaten up all day like say Amanda Bynes.  

All right, well so my story today is not about the movie Surveillance after all even though it was great and I have seen it several times and I love Julia Ormond in it.  Even a beautiful woman like that COULD inspire to darkness yes?  Hmmf.  No, today's lesson is to tell you why ALL of your children need to become Doctors.  

Doctors are the pinnacle of society.  I have said it before that witch doctors basically rule like Merlin next to Arthur.  One has incredible knowledge, the other has incredibly good LUCK and is willing to risk his life and has EYES that turn into fire or what shall we call it... heat vision.  But rather than tell all of your children that they will one day become Arthur and die pointlessly, which they should, tell them to become Merlin.  

Now you might say to yourself, "that's a lot of money" when it comes to paying for their education but it really isn't.  And you will find that most things in life are very expensive when you start out but not so expensive when you are looking back at it and realize HOW MUCH money you wasted on stupid things like mechanics, doctor bills, speeding tickets, car insurance, & bad girlfriends/partners.  The best thing you can say to some youngster stuck awash in woe is me I don't know what to study, is to tell them that ALL education is the same.  You study this amount of history then throw it back up on the test.  You study this much Literature, then you throw it back up on the test.  You study this much Accounting, then you throw it back up on the test.  If you are going to do this for ANY OTHER field, it makes sense just to do it in Biology.  It's the easiest field out there and everyone knows it.  And if it's easy then why not make straight As.  Fact is, note cards ASSURE you of an A on the test.  It's just that simple.  If you do a good job of copying down the chapter into notecards.  then do a good job of studying them until you can turn the one side of the notecard with the question and answering the other side of the notecard with the answer, correctly every time you are dealt a notecard, you get an A.  

I think I might have told you this before but one of the girls in my high school used to wonder why I had such a great mind and she accused me of having like a great memory but fact is she always got straight As and I always got straight NOT As.. mostly Bs... some Cs and sometimes a bunch of 100s but NOT As.  It depended on my mood.  Well my story for you today is to be like that girl.  She was as far as I can tell slightly off in a sort of way that like maybe an actress is off like say Natalie Portman who is like oh I don't know if I'm any good at acting but then she goes ahead and tells you what she learned and got straight As in and you realize she's a GIANT.  

That's why I believe, probably like she does, that getting into Harvard, getting straight As, or outdoing others, is not so hard if you are taught to do it well.  As parents you should tell your children that they can have all the freedom they want, once they are softly on a payment plan and in medical school because THAT means the following: 

Ever heard of a doctor getting cancer?  Didn't think so. 

Ever heard of a doctor having trouble with women? Didn't think so. 

Ever heard of a doctor not knowing what to do when someone is sick? Didn't think so.  

Fact is, being a doctor is right up there with being able to cast spells of Merlin caliber.   If a doctor says blah blah thing about a mechanic, poof, mechanic's rent just went up; blah blah thing about a restaurant, POOF, why is there a whole new group of people working here; Doctor says politician such and such from Staten Island threatened to "break him like a boy"... you can bet we wouldn't be wondering where the lawsuit is at.  

Ok I was about to go off rambling about stuff I don't know about so I'm gonna leave it there.  Fact is, every other profession should be considered a failed doctor, there's just no point in doing the same work for less power and pay.  I once told my professor, Dr. Sanders, that I wanted to get my MBA under him and he said no.  He said to me that if you were gonna have to do the same work no matter where you went, you might as well do the work at a GREAT university.  He was incredible.  His mind was the greatest I've ever known and he was very humble and common outside of class like he didn't belong next to us, talking to us, but when he was in class, he was just BOOM Pai Mei, he was very otherworldly to me, especially knowing what I knew about where he worked and where he went to school.  So now that's what I do in life is apply his theory of quality to my life.  If I'm going to work a job, have a great job, if I'm going to have sex, have GREAT sex, if I'm going to have a woman, I need a great one.  If I am going to betray people or help people or even leave them alone, I want GREAT reasons for doing so.  

But I have waited too long I think.  My body, even though it has much less energy, which was by design to keep me from getting too angry at things, is now really rather frail.  I don't curl 50 lbs like I used to, I don't run anywhere unless I want to be out of breath when I get like THAT far from where I am.  I need a great reason to do things but I can't think of any.  Oh sure vengeance is a great reason, if I want to use up my worth in like THAT much time, but denial works and by the way denial is why GW is still out in front of the people who allowed him to abuse or allegedly abuse their trust.  There is no right way to do things, there is just SOME ways and OTHER ways.  

I sometimes feel that my mind does not match my body anymore.  I have great things, dreams, planned out in my mind but this body is now too old and too used up to do them with.   Still, I can't help but think that maybe I did it to myself.  It's like that poem that they read on Groundhog Day that defines the movie's character about a wretch. I was thinking of Bill Murray recently while on Twitter and it reminds me of what I am living now is like a Groundhog Day.  

The wretch
consumed all in self 
will not be missed or other and will die unwept unmissed and unsung or something like that I will edit this later. 

But you get the point right?  If I want only great things then I kind of DOOM myself to waiting for something to change when what really needs to happen is that "I" need to change to accept regular people and inspire peace and love instead of aggression, like Bill Murray did by becoming an entertainer and falling in love, but for the right reasons; which in the movie is what happens to him is that he finally is able to inspire faith in others.  

But that doesn't mean I am making stuff up about surveillance, and people that do it to others eventually OVERDO it to others.  That's why it's important to define things so that everyone knows when someone has gone too far.  

Which is what I hope Obama does in an EPIC fashion from this point forward if he wants more stability for our great nation. 

Surveillance is a division of people.  Only highly religious pointy hat wearers of the government should be able to spy on people and the secrets they learn should be treated like a Pandora's box, so that people don't begin to believe that rich people can just go out and buy other people's secrets from the government, which bind them into servitude or slavery or worse.  

What's worse than being a slave you ask, well... what's worse is getting TIRED of it...  

True Neutral

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Existentialism - A philosophical attitude that stresses the individual's unique position as a self-determining agent responsible for the authenticity of his or her choices.

"I still exist" - Robin Williams in What Dreams May Come. 

When I was growing up one of the things I wondered about when I was playing Advanced Dungeons & Dragons was what would I play as.  At first I started out as a Magic User but that was too hard to play and most of the good spells came MUCH later and as you may have learned from reading my blogs, I'm not much for waiting too long for something.  So I changed and researched the game and started playing a multi-classed Illusionist/Assassin, a gnome.  Why? Because gnomes had good constitution and got bonuses for stealing and backstabbing and Invisibility wasn't too far off on the waiting-for-spells list.  Later, I researched just being a plain old Illusionist and found them to be MORE powerful than a Magic-User.  Their Alter Reality spells was only level 7 and most of the Magic-Users mega spells were level 9.  and I mean REALLY, once you can alter reality, what else IS THERE?  

But again it proved to be too much of a wait so I played Paladin and whoosh, happiness.  I got plenty of special abilities, right away, and plenty of rules to follow and plenty of action without having to wait.  

But since that was during my formative years, like when I was 10 years old, I wonder if playing and dreaming, which the game causes you to do, aka alter reality and become something else, be a fake person, separate yourself from another personality; if THAT has happened in some small way in my mind.  

One of the first creatures that I truly found powerful and fearsome was Vecna.  Man, how many hours did I spend imagining what special abilities I could add to the Eye of Vecna and then to the Hand of Vecna.  These were artifacts, aka the most powerful accessories in the game and what fantasies I imagined of being powerful with a mighty hand the clutched itself onto mine and spat out spell after spell... with no cost.  

Soon, I was trying to imagine BEING Vecna which it says in the game that the hand turns you into a being of Neutral Evil, like ALL liches.  Vecna was a lich which is technically, a zombie with genius intelligence with many undead abilities but such power that it was THE most powerful undead monster out there.  It could only be turned by the most powerful cleric and I'm not really sure but I think Vecna was immune to turning.  What power, yeah? 

But what is Neutral Evil?  

I had already read a bunch of stuff about demon princes, which were chaotic evil, and arch-devils, which were lawful evil.  And since I spent a LOT of time going to church in those years, like every Sunday morning and night and some Wednesday nights, I struggled to understand how good and evil could be separated down into THESE specifics and how to make sense of it.  Because devils followed rules, it was easy to make out how they thought,(fact is, now I know that most drug-dealers or organized crime is a bunch of devils, meaning they act against others(aka evil) but always with some reason or structure behind it(aka lawful evil); demons were much harder.  How could there be a prince without order I thought?  But I get it now.  Demons lead through fear of themselves, like Satan but with the added reality of a person BEING Satan.  Princes are BELIEVED to deserve power so everything is based on the belief that they are right in everything they do.  It's like a benevolent dictator.  It's like Jesus.  But Jesus can change his mind at a moments whim yes?  He could suddenly get emotional and cost people their money.  But more importantly he COULD act against others.  That's Satan.  That's a perversion of a benevolent dictator.  that is a lack of order.  That is chaotic evil but with some sort of society organized around a person that they BELIEVE in.  That is what Kim Jong Un is.  He is a demon prince.  Everything he says is immediately read out to the people as law.  And if he is a benevolent dictator or is trying to be then I applaud his efforts because the fact is NOONE else believes such a system should remain in place(remember Japan's emperor Hirohito?)  Every single one of his followers is a time bomb, willing to sacrifice themselves at his whim.  The 666 layers of the Abyss are a good map for what those followers feel like because NOONE is safe.  Even his uncle wasn't safe.  There IS no safe in that realm.  You can only believe that he is divine and try to be productive knowing that if he likes you and you are productive, you have an advantage over others... but not really.  

Still, I don't approve of movies that make the CIA the world's assasination corps.  Nor do I condone spreading a message that implies the US lives to assassinate the leader of N Korea.  That's just a stupid movie, I realize, but it's also like we are Hamas. We can't fight fire with fire because then the whole world burns and we become what we sought to eradicate.  

Does torture work?  It does.  People will say it doesn't because what they want to prove is that you shouldn't "try this at home" but it does.  It's like the werewolf theory or capital punishment.  Once you are bitten, YOU become a feral creature.  You realize you won't fight off these creatures unless you become equally evasive, equally dishonest, equally viscous.  It's like that movie 30 days of night or something with Josh Hartnett.  Great movie(which means I watched it more than 10 times).  He can only save them all by becoming one of them and destroying the leader.  

Capital Punishment is like this.  You kill the person that killed someone innocent and the state believes it is a deterrent to murder.  It is.  Play a video of that guy getting sandman-blasted with electricity from Sin City and you can bet people would be afraid of the state and its officials from then on.  But then we would have a FEAR of the state yes?  There would be an "us" that doesn't work for the state, and a "them" that work for the state that makes you do or say what the state's DIVINE workers say ought to happen.  Maybe we could call them the state's DIVINE DMV.  Fire with fire, yes? (This last paragraph has nothing to do with a blue-eyed blonde DMV lady showing me an infected evil eye right before I took an oath... yeah, nothing.)

So now the state can FEEL good about getting back at the criminal that wronged it even though there are umpteen reasons they might be mistaken or proven wrong in the future.  Now the prison guards can cause fear with "how bad" someone's execution might be.  Now the system is INFECTED with emotion.  

The worse part of it is that it feels good yes?  What a satisfaction to conquer evil! What a luxury!(Dune) 

Torture does this too. 

My mother might be guilty of this.  I have seen it.  I have drawn the evil out of plenty of "them" as a man would draw poison out of a wound.  It's only because I have been damaged that I can see the emotion running rabid in "righteous" people.  Torture INFECTS the torturers.  They become "righteous".  Soon they can't wait for the next victim to "cleanse".  Soon it's a "matter of national security" to torture people but what it is is just some splatter of people drunk on power.  INFECTED people like Dick Cheney.  He is not wrong in his mind, he is infected, with illness.  Someone needs to explain it like I am explaining it.  You enjoyed that WAY too much and it wasn't right and we forgive you.  You were/are MAD to think that way.  

A part of you is wondering if I have become Vecna... hahahaha.  If I am Vecna then Dick Cheney is TRULY someone worth fearing, hahahaha, "YOU MAY GO!"  But seriously, people like Cheney can think all of these things but not see the reality of it because they aren't like me.  They don't have hours to spend in showers analyzing things like I do.  They have high stress, military level stress, full-time/24 hours jobs that they have no HOPE of knowing if what they are doing is right.  People in politics can only respond to what the people want or create their own plots knowing that it is worse to be plotted against and end up like JFK than to plot whatever thing that OF COURSE noone would approve of.  

It's all 50/50.  It's best to stay as close to middle as possible.  
Don't cause a 9/11... but don't LET a 9/11 happen.  Some plotting is necessary, do you see? 

To see clearly is all.  - Sartre (I think the movie said)

Great words, I just recently lifted from a great movie named EXAM. Worth watching several times though it's so low-budget, like so many others, I have to wonder if  that's all Netflix has become is a low-rent movie channel.  

No, I have not become Vecna. Most liches live in towers out in a wilderness surrounded by undead which mostly have no purpose at all.  That is what true neutral is.  To have no purpose but also to have no emotion.  A lich is someone addicted to hurting others, to TORTURING others.  People in the CIA should understand this and move to surround these people like white cells so that they are diffused of their madness.  People can be cured.  ALL PEOPLE can be cured in my opinion but it takes time.  Hatred is an infectious thing that must be drawn out, made public, and then allowed to dissipate into history.  

I am not a lich.  I would like to think that I am a Paladin.  Someone that could take his shield and put it in front of groups of people and say NOT on my watch, because I KNOW that I understand evil more than others, I KNOW I have enemies that hate me not because I wronged them, but because they are infected.  I KNOW prison is not supposed to be an exercise in torture, but a time of arrest.  A time where evil is ALLOWED and ENCOURAGED... to dissipate.  But if it's too much to ask that we trust criminals while at the same time we trust illegal aliens, maybe we should just go back to having laws that make some of us better.  Maybe we put women back in the kitchens and black people back out on the fields picking corn, and maybe Mexico and its nasty native unreasoned people needs to fall into the sea.  Sounds righteous yeah?  We win!  

Yeah, I would not make a good paladin either.  Paladins are too righteous.  I hope the state of the world we are in has made that obvious to you.  The Police are Paladins yeah?  And sometimes they "finger of death" people yeah?  Hmmf.  

No if there is one thing I have learned most especially about being me is that I am MOSTLY like Jesus.  I was watching on Netflix this one program with video playing while the entire book of John was being read and I cried.  I am infinitely critical of anything I find wrong with people soliliquizing in front of me but in that entire movie, ALL of his words rang true.  It seemed to me that I had better not read more of the bible because I might use it to my advantage.  That REALLY would be unholy.  

So what is Jesus then.  First guess is that he is lawful and good.  that crusades could be started in his name and he would approve.  We could all go "Do the lord's work" and "bring education to the natives" so to speak.  Yeah.  That is what I am doing but in another way now.  You remember me speaking about Loki and Thor and Odin yeah?  

Lightning is a fluid thing.  It builds up charge and builds up charge and soon all of that evil must be unleashed.  But it's not evil is it?  It's a charge.  Loki builds schemes and mischief and corruption in society so much so like a stormcloud that grows and grows.  In time, after it gets too much charge while Odin does nothing, THOR has to intervene.  Thunder.  A VOICE that says THAT'S far enough.  

That's what Odin does though, that's what our system is is a buffer.  Systems without buffers break.  If not for Odin, Thor and Loki would be constantly cancelling each other out and there would be absolute peace in the world.  Odin has deemed that this NOT happen.  You see?  This is what Jesus/Satan is is civility.  It cannot be controlled.  It must be allowed to charge and then like lightning it must be allowed to escape creating new fields of growth that make life interesting again.  

Except in this world order, you might think that Jesus is the righteous one that serves to placate Satan's whims but no Jesus and Satan are both Loki; God is Thor; and Odin is the Holy Spirit.  Always a trinity because that is all there can be is choice, a choice that acts against it, or abstention.  

Think of an atom.  Protons are Loki, Neutrons are Odin and way out there is Thor that as soon as Loki gets too ornery, ZAP hooks up another electron to compensate.  Or it's like the Police and Drug Dealers.  The Police being Neutrons, Drug-dealers being the LOKI or LOCO or protons causing trouble and when that trouble gets to be too much... the public revolt against both drug-dealers and police and POOF, a new molecule!

See, SarahK was right...  We are all just molecules, cutie!

Some people would claim that I am evil for dealing with drug-dealers and whores.  People, including my mother, used to say show me your friends and I will show you who YOU are.  If I have friends that are betrayers well then I must be a betrayer.  This was made apparent in the movie 3:10 to Yuma.  Russell Crowe is SO charismatic as this feel-good leader of a band that makes its own rules but in the end he betrays them all because just ONE of them betrayed him and thought he could get away with it, but that is the reality of being a leader of a band of thugs.  Betrayal is coming, wait for it or don't wait for it because that's all that can happen is charge builds up and then .. KRACKOW... lightning.  But it doesn't mean drug-dealers and whores are evil.  Everything done in secret is not evil.  That's why they call it the veil.  You might want to stick that finger where it don't go, but if it's illegal you'd better not do it but we are both just a little bit MAD in the throes of sex aren't we?  Yeah, surely you wouldn't betray me since we both are lost in the throes of pleasure.  As it turns out, some people would.  But the theory is sound.  Sex is a very public way to tell everyone that you trust that person and as such it is through such public displays that civility becomes NOT so civil yes?  A little mischief perhaps, like LOKI perhaps?  Still all of life is like that, a field of interesting things to explore and to cultivate and to burn.  That's why lightning is so important, if there were no lightning, we'd all be in chains, we'd all be robots, we'd all be princes of peace... aka. losing our minds.  

I know that I am civil and I also know that civility is madness waiting to happen.  That's why the old saying goes that "rules are meant to be broken" because like accounting principles, it's only a matter of time before some loophole begins to unbalance our reality.  Before people are legally... torturing others... acting AGAINST others.  

This means the law, as it reads, with people using its loophole to act against others, is evil.  (Like perhaps a drunk driving law in Florida that reads driving with any impairment is illegal?)

So what am I?  I am not a lich, I am not a paladin, I'm not an illusionist/assassin(look behind you! haha) what am I?  Well if I am to tell you what to do to stop this madness I would tell you to SLOW things down to a crawl, to look for others that enjoy things... and STOP them, to disregard charity that is advertised but to organize systems that help the weak so that ALL people can be functional enough to vote and vote for the betterment of society.  I would tell you NOT to be perverse in your civility yet to try to understand civility/Jesus and what the goal is.  I would tell you to be true to Odin, to be true to the Holy Spirit.  To believe in nothing if you have no faith but to regard YOURSELF as holy... to have faith in yourself... as someone that deserves to live and deserves NOT JOY but freedom.  Someone that if they die they die knowing they are at peace, that they were doing a good job, and that like they say in Cloud Atlas, believe "everything is so damnably well" because the only hell is having guilt about something when you die or when you sleep. If you are free or at peace in your heart then when you die you go to heaven, better said you were in heaven, because when you slept you were at peace.  Hmmf, that needs better explanation but I'm getting off track.  So should you be like Jesus?  Yes, after you are married but if you are single like me you should be absent of madness.  Jesus is Chaotic and Good you see?  He's a prince of peace, you see? It's only when he gets emotional that his actions can be evil, influence others hence Satan and the 7 Deadly Sins.  You should be TRUE NEUTRAL.  You should be like Odin or believe in the Holy Spirit which means that you believe your life has a purpose and that it's coming.  And remember any pleasant face that you get married to, even a pock-marked one like the girl's face in "the good earth" is one that you will grow to love and all problems that you have with your wife, are problems you must relive if you choose a second wife, so stay fresh, stay hopeful, and I guess be willing to settle and have faith that even that person will somehow make you happy or at least bring you to a state of madness... that you can live with... that is better than living alone like a GOD in darkness.  

It's better than dying alone... SarahK(poke). 

Oh right I STILL haven't told you what I am, have I? A Druid then.  I am a Druid.  A steward of nature.  All Druids are true neutral... 50/50.  I guess that means I believe in Karma, who taught me that I wonder? 

PS. I just got finished watching a video with a nice muff from a girl comic who's funny even when not naked.  SarahK was in it and it riles me up to think people can't think of girls who are funny.  For me, I am LOUSY at thinking things are funny, especially men but it's my theory that women on dates get intimidated by the butchy women that have the temerity to be in front of an audience.  So overall, guys have to say ok she wasn't funny because they can't say yes in front of their gf that ws their date getting upsized by rock star girl up on stage.  Also, comics are licentiously evil to each other like Seinfeld was to Bill Maher when he made fun of his dead mother(nice one, you ASS).  And they think that's normal as foo or poo or one's duty or ... oh you get it.  But moreover its BS.  Culture can be changed most especially when people like me say a bunch of fools are in charge or maybe when Bill Maher says it.  Let's see... trying to think of funny women... Rachel Maddow.  Is she funny like on EVERY SINGLE episode of her show?  Alex Wagner... is SHE entertaining me more than say anyone else on television with her funny?  Sarah Silverman... is there like another level of funny when it comes to her compared to other comics whose shows I have to watch at least 10 minutes before I force myself to turn it off and swear off stand up forever until I watch some more Sarah?  There's not many funny people I grant you but I'd rather say that quality is rare than say quality is only found on such and such planet or such and such gender with such and such color that by the way... the Jews control.  

EDIT: Wow I have a lot to say today.  On the matter of Jews controlling everything, i am of the opinion that the Jews control a lot of things because their religion allows them to dominate other people.  That's a very HONEST view to hold despite how uncivil it is but remember that it's what Hitler was able to use to start up against the Jews.  that's why righteousness is a such a BANE to society.  Rich people cannot all be evil because they must keep society together in the form of goodwill.  They must inspire goodwill or lose what they own in the form of a revolution.  When the preacher passes that offering plate around and there was a guest speaker, that's your chance to reward good or bad behavior or to manage your applause.  Remember my blog about the scoops?  People are rich because MANY MANY people gave their applause in the form of money.  Rich people aren't evil because they act against others, they use and then abuse existing laws while ENCHANTING people with reality... which can change.  So don't start up against the Jews yeah?  Don't start siphoning against the goodwill of the rich.  It's better to compliment the rich and laude at how much trust they have earned than to attack a group of rich people without evidence, without a judgement, or without a sword.  Remember that respect is not earned, imo... everyone deserves respect... but TRUST is earned.