A man of peace

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44
You would never guess this by looking at me but I understand the concept of phaser guns and how to make them. I can tell you how we are going to get to the next universe and when Venus could perhaps become inhabitable. I even know a lot about Hurrincane Katrina. As it happens, being the shower releases your mind from having to think a certain way. You become free to sing even if don't normally. Your senses, become numb, and your mind all the more active because of it. It's in the shower that I get ideas and fantasize about what could be.
Always I have pondered the balances of good and evil, of light and of dark. You would think that being courageous is a good trait as is the idea of peace, but those ideas are at odds. So there you go. So much for being smart. The best and smartest and toughest and strongest and most popular person may have NO IDEA what right and wrong is to you and me.
I just got out the shower and was thinking ominously about my new schedule next week that will be full time. With more energy spent I should be more healthy and more happy but what if I have to go thru 5 days of oppression at work instead?
So long ago, I could have chosen to not wait for something better, but now I feel I may have waited too long.
I know what you are thinking is that old saying about "if you are warm, etc. etc."

Small moves Elle

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Well noone sed leveling DRK was gonna be pretty. Like BLM, DRK is like a jalopy of skills that not many ppl will appreciate fully esp if they consider that you wl need refresh and may not land any spells and are gonna miss your hits for pert near your first 30 levels.
The worst part though is that subligar!
I think I might level GAX though while I am at it since GSD is already leveled due to my WAR.
I will go full time but I hate the fact that I am leaving behind my chance to get more school. I think that I can improve my relations at work but what if I can't? Should I diving headlong into a fray of uglies at my own expense? Negotiating a part-time schedule will never happen for me again. Should I relent to the species of my downfall?
I should I go up or down?
I choose middle!

Hope is for poets

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I wrote something to myself earlier this week in my little post its. I keep writing to myself in an effort to keep myself from believing that I am a Paladin in hell. Hope but don't expect. It's funny but the more I expect stuff to be true the weaker I am to it being false. The more afraid I am of it changing and as a point of pleasure would rather it not be true. As such, love for me is doomed to failure if I don't actually hope for it. But am too much of an intellectual to leave things like that to chance. Just the other night this girl I know, right out of the blue pulls me over to leave the bar with her and I am thinking to myself, finally, some guts. But what we ended up doing was going into a limo with some people I had never seen before. Well, I wasn't about to go off with people I didn't know! I may be a man but I run with chicken legs! Had I talked to them all night like she did, I might have trusted them more but I barely got to talk to her at all so I was completely surprised by this. I know what you guys are thinking, "what were you expecting Mr. Hohito?" Well as always, I expect to go off somewhere and talk some more even if there is no hookup or whatever. But this was too much for me.

The next time I saw her she was in clearly a different mood and I doubt we will talk very often from now on.

But that's part of my problem, I like to expect things too much. I like to pre-determine. I like to pay for it. DOH! Well, not exactly but I do like to have things easy to understand. If I was high on power and ruthlessness I might like to try this or that with people's feelings but I have always regarded my charisma with some sense of responsibility. So as a rule, I don't jack off with people.

My schedule is changing and now I am going to work full-time again. This means that all hope of going off to Law School or whatnot, which was the reason for my going part-time, is up in smoke. Not only that, I am going to work nights. Nights is when the losers work. If you ever find yourself in the corporate world, and you are ambitious, don't ever work nights. I need to though cuz I have turned into a slob. I am so fat and sensitive and miserable and underslept and drunk all of the time that if I don't get productive soon, I may never have children or even have sex again and that of course that is the meaning of life.

Rarab tail aint all that

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

Full moon usually means it's time to do some farming. Just getch u butt outdea as Ahnold would say. But it usually isn''t worth it. Most of the things that are worth farming are farmed regularly and once you start on something that people want and noone knows people want it, miraculously, competition arrives.
I just finished helping some JP people with "Puppet in Peril" mission. One JP just up and left once I got there and asked them to use the Auto-Translate function. Too bad for him tho cuz even though we were doing dd with only one monk, we were stable and the win with nary a bump, although he did throw out the fire bombs by the dozens towards the end of the fight. I was so sure I was on Aht Urghan Mission(AM)29 and 30 and no it was 30 and 31. I got to the door and it gave me the option to do an ISNM so in I went and not with anyone else. So I exited and then I couldnt get the option for battle until later it just seemed to pop up.
I have sent off my XBox to be fixed. My brother in law says that it only took him 10 days to get it back so I hope it doesn't take too long for mine.
Tomorrow I find out about my new schedule I think. I have told many people that my life will turn around after this but my team leader seems bent on giving me errors and getting me fired. I told my sister yesterday that maybe he was giving me the dilly dally errors so that he would not have to point out the huge ones that I made.
Sometimes I think that they are monitoring every single call I make just to make sure ... something.
I was supposed to see this girl for the last time yesterday and wasn't able to make it to the dinner but expected to see her at the bar but she didn't go. Nice looking girl and really outgoing and funny for someone single and in their 30s.
All but us.
If she's reading, I wish her well on her trip to DC.

Consumed by the cowardice...

BLM:75 WHM:74 SMN:47 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

I know you guys are probably thinking, "What's up with the sunsets?"

Well they haven't given me a new schedule yet and they HAVE given me a new bunch of errors, hmm what does this sound like. Another "put that dog Hohito on his last legs" month. Sadly, I expect not very good things from work this month. More people have found that I am easily annoyed and they have deliberate methods of keeping me irritated while I am trying to work. It really is nothing but harassment but what are you gonna do, slappin that ass ain't wrong if the girl likes it, heh. Ew, that was harsh. I guess that's what they think, that I must like all of this "attention". Boy, are they mistaken. I tell my team leader about it and he just mimicks their behavior like there isn't anything to do but to get used to it. How do you get used to everyone insulting you, everyday, all day long?!

Well, back to FFXI. Since my sound doesn't work I am far more efficient in Dynamis I think and have found that I don't have to have sound to play which makes it far less interesting but makes me a much better player in some ways. It's funny my car is all keyed up, my sound is not working, my XBOX has the three rings error on it and is broken, if my "nose" could break, I swear right now it would be broken(maybe it is), and I am used to stuff breakin when I lose my temper but it seems as you get older people lose their temper for you. Ok, on a happy note, I ate something, so now I am fatter. Oh no, that was not positive!

I have been thinking of using the Fire Staff with RNG. What a boon, since now with -2 enmity from the Staff Grip you will be able to unload shots at will! But I will lose a lot of Racc from not using the dagger plus I haven't actually bought the Staff yet so who knows by the time I get up to that level(51), the price will be back to the 100ks.

I have needed to get some merits for my BLM since I want ICE level 5 and need 3 more merits for it but it's hard to find BLM merit pts. My WHM seems able to find pts no problem though so I guess I better get on up to 75 and start getting my merits that way.

Yesterday I finished the Ark Angels ZM14 mission and was delighted to finally get through the mission after a long set of battles. We had to do EV 3 times and no wonder that mob is famous. It did Spirits Within and KO'd the PLD both of the first times. But after some thought, I remembered that the PLD/WHM is light based and the light is weak to dark so I decided to keep Bio II on him and determined that I would use weakening strategy on him. As BLM I always try to counter the character with the one elemental skill that the character is weakest to. If we are fighting a THF I cast Frost, if we have a NIN tank I cast Rasp since I know he will be maxed on evasion gear, and for PLDs although I don't always do this a Drown and Shining Ruby strategy will help the team most since the armor is the focus with a PLD. In this case, with a Spirits Within that was KO'ing the PLD it seemed all the more obvious, so I set about to minimize damage until I could unleash my AM magic. I casted Bio II and Poison II and then it occurred to me that Poison and Drown were water-based so then I casted one round of Flare regular and it landed for 900 or so damage. A pittance for a PLD with Benediction so I immediatelly got off of that and kept Poison II and Drown up and now she was weak to water. I stayed in my Dark gear to maximize the benefit of Bio II also. After all was said and done the PLD was not close to KOing this time and was in the orange even after Spirits Within. I let loose 2 blasts of Freeze II with Aquilo's and level 4 Ice merits in tow and she was gone. We were all like wow that it was over. We had lost twice already when Spirits had KO'd our PLD and then the rest of us. The beautiful thing is that there is no exp loss on these battles so we didnt mind the losses. We also had a much easier time with the next two fights. After the HM victory our WHM had to go so we were left with PLD WAR MNK RDM and me BLM. We had only the taru left. He was tough and was even moreso due to AOE Petrify and we had just lost WHM for Stona! No matter, we decided to just wait it out and make it a slow fight like it was for EV. But it wasn't really, this guy only had one HP bar with no Bene. He also used a lot of status effects and spells and since our PLD was used to kiting EV, we did a lot of running around that didn't allow his spells to land. When he was close to dead, 2 blasts of Freeze II and an Asuran Fists put him down and we were done with our last fight with only 5!

Afterward, I changed to WHM and Teleport-Yhoated 3 of us to Norg and talked to Gilgamesh, then went back and entered the Shrine for a final cs.

It was a long night but at least it was fun.

Apathy, arrogance, cowardice, envy, and rage. It was funny how closely I identified with those feelings. I don't feel like I am a dark person though.

cc would love DRK

BLM:75 WHM:73 SMN:46 THF:75 WAR:61 RNG:44

After two weeks of moving to new areas I thought I could handle sitting in my own desk again and no. Just yesterday the same people start the same crap all over again with the interruptions while I am talking on the phone. It really riled me up. Later in the day though they seemed to be in a "wonderful" mood. The only solution is to keep moving I guess. If I complain to my leader, he will give me a bunch of whatsit errors and then I'm fired, if I do nothing I am going to get really pissed and yell at them, and then I'm fired. If I complain to HR, I'm fired cuz the HR person thinks I must be the problem. If you remember the last time I had a conflict instead of sitting us both together to talk about how that person was having the time of her life getting me in trouble, she just sent my funny ass home like I had Frankenstein written across my forehead. It really royally sucks to be me right now.
Well, I told them I would switch schedules to get myself a new boss but changing that would really make my life more difficult. I don't think a different boss will change things.
On a lighter note, I finally got my BLM hat from Dynamis and hoo boy it works great with my Errant gear and Dark Staff for sleeping purposes. I am half tempted to go quest my BLM AF pants just to improve my sleeping gear but nah, I don't want him looking like a jalopy. I tried using the hat with other gear and it really seems to me that the Black Cloak is best. Maybe after I get like 10 more merits in Elem skill I might pull out the weskit and use the hat with it but for now I am just gonna stick to my cloak.
I have sold off by Blessed gear cuz if stupid parties don't let me heal to my full 1300mp as a WHM then I might as well not have +mp gear and if -enmity is all I need then my Errant gear will work fine til I get my relic WHM body anyways.
I bought the staff grip and upgraded my Ice Staff finally and wow do I love being BLM now. I can't wait til the rest of it sells so I can buy my Jet Seraweels which look so COOL with the Black Cloak.
In assault I have begun the long climb to getting my Pants for THF which match perfectly with the Blue Cotehardie but I still have about 10k to go. But hey, I am now a Lance Corporal, woot.
I went to the bar last night and even though I thought it would suck I found myself talking to some people and in general had an ok time listening to the band. There is this one girl there that is really good looking and smiles at me a lot but as soon as I go talk to her she has stuff to do. ??? Whatever.
I need to take more risks in general though. I find the more I analyze my situation, the more I realize that I like to play it safe a lot and attack from on high when I speak. I need to do something this week.
This picture is me as a DRK. I have always wanted to level DRK cuz of the greatsword that I used with my WAR solely since I was a low level bum. Now that I got the paper for the GSD and the relic weapon, all I have to do is start my own Dynamis linkshell or something and start collecting money for it. It would take a VERY long time to do that though and DRK is only at level 16 but hey you gotta start sometime. I guess first I will boot my WHM to 75 though and then my WAR is next and then SMN. By the time my RNG is 75, I expect it will be next year and hopefully will be living it up in a place of my own with some chick with my relic weapon and full band of brothers going yay HOhito you ROCK, I never knew you could kick ash wit da ownage on a /WHM and WoW your wife looks like Cindy Crawford omg she IS cc, woot!