Larger than life

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Sometimes I am larger than life.  But not really.  My BFF used to wonder at how I knew so much about stories and about history.  (we were once sitting in a bar and the old adage from "the old man and the sea" came to mind) The truth is that I was always more interested in scripture than history.  But I don't like there to be a debate about religion or scripture.  Those texts are holy so if there is going to be debate then "I" and going to tell YOU what the meaning is.  

But that is what has been normal for me all of my life.  If I feel people will read it, then I will learn it.  If I felt that my trepidations about Bartleby might help people, I might write about him more. 

I have always been smarter than your average bear, maybe a lot smarter.  But at the same time, people who don't want to study have learned a nice counter to that, common sense.  People with common sense LOVE to point out how dinky smart people are.  That's natural you see?  If you are worried about your safety, then you can't be intellectual and because intellectuals have always worked/studied while being safe, they don't understand what it means when people "mess" with them.  

It's violence.  Being interrupted or interrupting people doesn't make you a wit, it makes you appear less informed.  

"What I have to say is important and when I say it you can rest assured that I will say the right thing because my job and my experience are needed by my constituency and only for their benefit have I sought out this time to express my feelings and my decisions that I make always on behalf of my people who have graced me with the right to point the direction that we ALL will take but only if you will let me get in a word edgewise!"

See just memorize that and tape it to your arm, and you are ready to be interrupted on TV.  Just start it from the top or the middle and you will come across as smarter than whoever is interrupting you with questions that they already know the answer to.  (remember that scene from THE MASTER?) If you REPEAT the memorized phrase, you can expect the host to sit there in shock and then you can ask him if HE ever won an election. 

If you ask a fourth grader what yellow is, his answer might be corn or bananas.  But if you ask an adult what yellow is he might tell you the same but add that it also is the middle light of a streetlamp and that it is one of the colors of a rainbow and that his pee is yellow, because an adult will always have half good things and half bad things to say right?  If you ask a genius about a common thing like yellow... a whole bastion of things will spring up in his head like warning signs, the red shift of stars, frequency distribution, and he might even wonder about the label changes of soft drinks and he might think of McDonald's and then of Rally's hamburgers.  For an intellectual you see, it's a cloud of things he thinks of, so to ask him another question 6 seconds later, not only interrupts a HUGE amount of things he was willing to unload and speak of, it makes it obvious to other intellectuals that when you think of yellow... it would only take you 6 seconds to answer, which makes you appear less an intellectual, and more a hack.  

And why not, I mean hacks are needed in the world.  We need people to "not be afraid" to ask the hard questions sometimes.  Less smart people don't have to wonder why they got their job, we need the little people that don't understand to keep the really smart people from confusing us and making us EAT it.  

Just don't think that being a hack equates to being stupid.  

One of the things I applaud myself on is being an everyman.  I can understand and explain most things but not all things and yet I am willing to experiment with most things that intellectuals would never risk doing.  People out there LIVING THEIR LIVES tend to be less intellectual, people out there KNOWING WHAT TO DO tend to have marital problems and a disdain for others, so to have a perfect mix, you can't BE the ubermensch, you have to understand that NOONE is the best and yet still feel UNIQUE for knowing this to be true.  (like Nicholson in AS GOOD AS IT GETS)

It's like Rachel.  I realize she is not the most worldly person and that she looks awkward on comedies but she is not a comedy person, Bill Maher looks awkward on the news but can you imagine being told the news by someone that "kids" all of the time.  They BOTH are the best but in their own way.   

Rachel's beauty is in taking the truth and having it BE funny.  I mean "you can't make this up" should be her catch phrase because IT'S TRUE and by just being true her show is funny.  But you have to give her kudos for her setup because in educating everyone beforehand, she makes her section of the news understandable and digestable.  It's like being in a class at Harvard as opposed to being behind the overhead projector at a city college.  You could almost take the test right after her class and get an A.  That's excellence.  

But Bill's style is to take what is true and make it even funnier, a la NEW RULES.  Funny yes?  Let's take the Christie bubble and make it even BIGGER! Is that possible? 

Yeah, excellence comes in many forms I hope yall see now, and bigger is not always better, size does NOT always matter, and finding your G-spot is not all that they say it is, right Michelle?    

I still got Michelle Monaghan in my head for a couple of more days so leave me alone.   WOO! 

ps. Not sure if I would make a good husband cuz I like too many women, but maybe that's normal for single guys yeah? 

Freedom to religion

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We have here a disparate view of what freedom of religion is. On the one hand, we are allowed to worship who and what we desire. On the other we are allowed to worship only what the government has deemed useful to society.  

The question of where also is important because worshipping in private is much more allowable, than in public right?  Freedom of religion is a way of doing the right thing.  Does this include porn?  Yes.  And if we want to watch on the bus next to children?  No.  And what about quashing the rhetoric of Allah and the Arabs at the soup kitchen? No.


Yeah, it's a very hard thing... to allow freedom. Indeed the first thing I would do if I were free from my master, let's say, would be to go to the master's house and take a shit there. Just to make sure I was "free". So will it be with gays, so will it be with Mexicans, so will it be with, I dunno, teen contraception purchasing.  

Free is free.


But I CAN'T be free to put my finger up your nose. Freedom does not include making your life mine to control. Yet it comes close doesn't it because always there is the point in your life where one person meets you on the road and one of you has to move.


But the argument doesn't end with a simple violent confrontation. We are not bound to every law based on who has the most force. Many things depend on how the law is viewed and... interpreted.


I am about to interpret for you. 

When you are free to practice religion you have the duty to organize in a manner that is a subset to our constitution. I have said this before. The structure that religion provides allows you to feel BELIEF, which fuels you to go on in the world. As long as this goal is within what is allowed by the Constitution, then you are free to pursue your goals with the understanding that achieving them makes our country stronger.


Let's say for example I have a gay religion. Not too complicated right? All people MUST be gay. So we gather together, talk about being gay and trying new things that were not so legal not long ago and we probably all know the BEST brands of lotion out there or at least how to debate about it. But straight people are not allowed right? And that's legal right? Yes.


Let's take the service or the bar and restaurant business. 

People there are mostly servers and the ilk. They are all OK with earning $2.13 an hour plus tips and it's understood that if they are NOT ok with it, then speaking out is at least physically possible. But outsiders are not really welcomed are they? And as they start to keep more and more secrets, outsiders tend to "beleaguer" the regular people.


"Don't you WANT to earn more money?"


And so it was in Citibank. As you went higher and higher up in the chain of command, more and more people "didn't care" how you showed your stats so long as you showed them. My supervisor was once willing to put only the first half of her team's stats as her average even though she was supposed to include all stats. A clearly unethical move but she just sat there in front of us and told us to do it. A shock to me. But I was not in charge and I respect the chain of command so I didn't say anything. My problems were only beginning because this "anomolous" supervisor soon learned after that that I was the big cheese in the office and after seeing the way it was around me, soon "found" new problems with my performance. She had been a senior before but was demoted and I guess now I knew why.  This was someone that they couldn't get rid of and all she knew about running things was doing things her way. It was a nightmare. Especially since I couldn't correct her corrections... if you follow me.


Later I found HER supervisor's stats when compared to other senior leaders stats and his were FAR better than his peers. UNNATURALLY better. So he must have known her stats were fake right? Or maybe he TOLD them how he wanted his stats. Anyways this was how the most profitable SBU in Citibank was made into a MORE profitable SBU.


All my work making the associates' lives peaceful got replaced with "incredible" talk times. They were asked to take calls for regular customers in addition to business owners cards and since they already knew so much, because of my efforts to make them self-sufficient, they were told to "wing it" and they were able to. They eventually got co-opted with sales so that their jobs of simply answering the phones, started to turn a profit for the Senior manager whose ingenuity, unlike mine, perverted the entire department into a hot box of TANGIBLE activity.


But it might have had to do with my supervisor being fired. He was fired for kissing his girlfriend in a stairwell. I didn't agree with that and with him gone, I was left in charge of the department and one day I decided to just close it for a couple of hours. Yep. We went out to a restaurant and I wowed them all with my HA-HA moment. One sancitmonious week later, people were talking about it. And now to think back on it all... I might have caused it all.


If that's true, I'm sorry guys.


OH, freedom of religion, well it goes like this, if you want to be free to worship then you gotta have the same beliefs as our founding fathers did. You have to want the following:

1.) TO END TYRANNY

2.) TO FURTHER EQUAL REPRESENTATION

3.) and you HAVE TO WANT TO FOLLOW GEORGE. 
(I know, I know, George has nothing to do with it but remember I'm INTERPRETING.)


On a final note let me just say that currently in Arizona a new law that allows freedom of religion would allow businesses to pick and choose its customers. I feel for them because often I see the sign in the service industry. It says "We refuse the right to serve anyone".


Doesn't that just ring of discrimination? Should that be allowed?


Now skipping that let me just say that there was a good reason for JESUS being crucified and that was because he became a THREAT to businesses that wanted to practice using religion in public. Bad Idea. Religion is a personal and private thing. People should volunteer sure, and you might be able to pick and choose who you want in your club maybe, but you can't have a CLUB in public.


Get that? YOU CAN'T HAVE A CLUB... IN PUBLIC.


See, I just solved their problem with religion. It all goes back to "FOR PROFIT" and "NON-PROFIT'. One is for the good of its workers, the other is for the good of EVERYONE.

Religion = Non-Profit

Fancy toss

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"It's a sign of the judgment." - the song playing after the show.


Well I just finished watching True Detective. It finally gave us what we were waiting for... Michele Monaghan doggie-style. They could have spruced it up more I thought, because you know they both have just been WAITIN' for that to happen and then it's like meh, over in less than a minute.


Maybe that's more real than I want it to be? (Esp since I have never actually been able to capture a dream girl like Matt did in that scene)


Moreover, the part where Woody(I don't even know his character's name) puts up his gun and badge and starts to walk out there to get his ass kicked by his partner, after all that talk about "a man's price for a man's game" speech that he gave to the youngsters that had consensual sex with his 17 year old...  everyone likes to talk about violence like they are doing it for the other person's own good but in reality, if they KNOW they're gonna get beat, not so much. They should have shown Woody with a bit more fear in that regard I thought.


And that scene where she does a turnaround on Matt and tells him it's just for the sake of her marriage and doesn't care about him really yet in the lead-in she was talking all "we are looking at a person just like us" and "be honest with me now" bullshit, that reminds me of my 2nd gf. 

 TOTAL 360!


Who thinks up this crap and tells women to do this?!


Now I'm watching another re-run of Bill Maher with Rachel on his show. He's such a has-been sometimes. I realize he's a godless, in it for himself, but I care, guy... but what's with the zeroing in on the Christie story? Does he WANT to lower MSNBC ratings?


Does his mother live in New Jersey? Oh NOW I see how it is...


He's probably better off not talking about it then. I brake for boobies not boobs.


In other news, I was gonna start to watch House of Cards because Alex mentioned it on her show but just the plot line of it, having the president be corrupt, is like a direct opposite of what I find interesting. I know if I saw just one episode I would be hooked, and I know Rachel is gonna be on one of their shows, but meh, I'm still not in the mood to see corruption at its finest.


I still think Michele should have stayed Tom Cruise's wife in the later Mission Impossible movies. She was TOTALLY a top flight spy's wife.  I think he messed up there. 
  
And something I was thinking about in the shower earlier was that spot in the movie LEGEND where he confesses his love for Lily (I have watched that movie 20 times at least) and yet she makes fancy of his love and tosses away carelessly a symbol of their union. And I think in real life, Tom Cruise saw women as less than serious since then. 

In his movie Vanilla Sky, where he is scolded for being careless with Juliana(Cameron Diaz), I think that was meant to make clear to women how men feel when THEY THE WOMEN are careless. 


Fancy-free, that would make a good title to a biography.  

PS. And don't think I didn't get that scene with Michele and her sweaty exploded face and her dilated pupils, it was like a visceral depiction of the orgasm.  VISCERAL. 

Strange thought

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I just finished watching Europa Report and it's surprising how many movies remind me of the holocaust. What's a holocaust you ask? A holocaust results in Israel.

Have a nice day.

In thinking about space travel, I wonder that since we are all ok with bad people existing and keeping their money and we are ok with governors that steal money, and stay in power, and we are ok with allowing shamelessness in politics a la tednugentitis... it's about time we started a SPACE program.

WE NEED A CAUSE!

And what better way than to take our BEST youth that majored in math and electronics, tell them that we are expect to find MUCHO resources in a burned out world, and then ship em off to "go get it". I know we can do it. When we go we gotta make sure though that we send them in pairs. None of this letter-writing crap and 6 months till your next message crap. Also, if you wanna make it to Mars, zero pregnancies. In fact you should make the man get castrated and the woman get her hysterectomy... just so it's fair. And poof it's MARS time. All the sex you can handle without none of the worries.

I would include pods in the ship and make them NON-interchangeable. (I got this idea from Civilization:Revolution)It's more erotic that way. People could wish to have sex with their next door neighbor but you would have to blow up the ship to do it. 

And it might be fun for them to think about it yeah?

And there should be FOUR different pods per ship at least. One pair as the leader that decides course, the other in charge of the engines, the other in charge of oxygen and food, and the last one in charge of the PORN. You know what I mean, the drugs that keep you sane while rest of the people work... we would need to have a pair that was in charge of the drugs.

And that is sort of what is happening now in the country isn't it? We are finding a way around needing to go to the doctor by buying our weed. All that money that would have been going to the service industry is getting meted out for weed. Good for them... not that I have ANYTHING against the service industry or doctors... 

PERISH the thought!

But I expect problems to arise once the different agencies figure out that the slice of pie being taken as THEIRS and soon after... legislation, backlash, welcome back to porn and forget weed, because people can grow that stuff themselves... and we can't have that. But on the upside, I think people are waking up to the fact that religion was just another excuse to keep the doctors in charge and that those days are coming to close.

But imagine what would happen if we went to MARS without a doctor? HOW could someone have forgotten to assign a doctor pair to the mission? Easy, I just did it and you guys just did it too. Doctors are easy to forget and you know what...

in a controlled environment, doctors are unnecessary. Who knew?

But don't worry, when THAT day comes and we have that glorious first of many flights embark on its YEARS-long trek to Mars, we will wave away our BEST and our brightest and most ambitious and our smartest and MOST selfish of people and as they speed off to a journey to establish a new frontier or mining and trade, thinkin' they all better than us, a strange thought will come to the minds of people... of Jewish descent...

like a train pulling away... PACKED with their loved ones.

PS. and years later, expect a party at the next doctors' convention, yeah... organized and membered by the most successful group of people on the planet that "forgot" to put a doctor on the flight... the JEWS who learned their lesson and then set about using the same methods used on them. (This is fictional but meh, cud happen)

Worthless boob

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So it's noon and I'm missing Alex but I guess I only have myself to blame, since I'm Hohito Almighty. (yes, another movie about me, did u forget who's blog your on?)

It's funny because I remember once talking about Alex and her Ferrari and now I realize she is like an average worker. She's probably got ONE secretary and ONE break room and her office is probably NOT the corner one. And I am tempted to suggest how to improve her but like I did yesterday, if I say too much about it, I jinx it... then the whole ability goes away.

Ok, I will say one thing, she should get THREE screens. One to check twitter, one on the current news, and one to work on. ON her tabs she should have one on whatever story she is preparing, one on ask.com to look up definitions, one on WIKI, and maybe one on her email, if that makes sense.

Hope that helps.

I just figured out recently that Sarah Silverman is against abortion. It must be something to do with the burning bush... er, ah, I mean her talk with Jesus that she had when he came over to her house. In her little montage she explained that sperms are alive and that they are being killed so that to stop this, men had to have their testicles fixed by the government since that is what legislators want to do to women that ask for help with their abortions a la transvaginal sonogram(I think).

But it's ridiculous right? Sperm are not alive are they? You wouldn't stick that BIG FAT thing down into my Urethra would you?

Yet, if Jesus were humping Sarah, let's say, and if Sarah Silverman started to really "enjoy the go" for a change, she might ask him to keep it in there, make it special, "repeat after me... I likey the doody!" and then after making sure her pelvis was actually moving he might change his mind and not want to have a JESUS SARAH moment. In which case, he would pull out.

I imagine him gazing at her now wondering about all that sperm he just let splotch on her belly... all he would be thinking about is how great sex is and how wild it smells to smell her and him and the room. He would put his knee over hers, and flop her "worthless boob" over to that side and then in a moment of VILE CARELESSNESS he might start to mess with the sperm, at which point the smell of it would come RACING into the room as though a skunk just let off his spray.

You see, sperm don't smell until they are in danger and then they ALL smell. This is why it stinks but only right after you start to wipe it off. (who me?)

And as he started to understand it all, as JESUS often does, he would come to a conclusion... that he was possibly guilty of abortion... and that it's a FELONY in some states...  and that his reign was over, all because of Sarah but that's ok cuz hey, nice apartment, he might stay a while. 

So it should be clear to you all that men are guilty of abortion TOO and that it's a felony in some states.  Now MEN can enjoy the go... into prison.

 ps. You're welcome world... now you religious pro-life freaks can shoot to kill a MASTER OF ABORTION near you... (you want my address? why?)

A Place beyond the Pines

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Again, spoiler alert, if you haven't seen the movie, GO see it first. 

The gods must have heard me insinuate in that recent post that the world did things as I wanted them because today Alex is not on and they are playing the Olympic Games on TV.  I musta jinxed it.  Just for the record, yall probably believe that I changed my lunch to 4pm because Alex's show moved to 4pm, but actually, I started having lunch at 4 shortly BEFORE she got moved... which means the WORLD changed to accomodate me.  


(Sarah Silverman voice: "Thanks World")


So today I want to talk about the movie The Place Beyond the Pines. Happily this movie is NOT about me. It has nothing to do with me and that was a nice change. I'm not the motocross guy that loses his mind when he is suddenly told he has a son, not the policeman that loses it when he notices Internal Affairs ready to trap him into saying he shot the guy carelessly, not the sleezy mechanic that caused it all to happen all because he was too bored being just so-so rich... not even the kid that loses his marbles because of all the PAST that springs up in front of him. 

 I'm not even the spoiled brat son of the cop that is leading his school into a cesspool of fire that the cop's dad KNOWS to be the reality of things.


Well... that pretty much sums up the movie. I know I left out the black guy... probably on purpose... but no. Actually I might BE the black guy come to think of it. He's the one guy that doesn't lose it in the movie.


He's ODIN. 

PS. It's better to sit and curse the dark, than to light a candle... that burns the world. (no offense Lawrence) which means that if the world STINKS and you light a candle, it might blow up. (Sarah Silverman voice: Fracking is something else.  You should get a haircut.)

Azura and the Box

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Do you know why I can continue to go on in the world? Because I have no debts. I don't owe a goddamned thing. Every card I used, every mailbox I crashed, every kitty I molested, I did with good intentions. And like other things, if you did it with good intentions then you aren't capable of crime because it doesn't occur to you that you are taking from the world.  You probably suffer more from others' conscience of what they heard and them ACTING on it, than you do from remembering what you did or from law enforcement.

That's because I am not doing illegal things EVERYDAY like some people.  


When people take a risk on you and lend you money, you owe them money, but it's money they do not get to have returned to them unless you are able to make good on your debt.  Which means they don't DESERVE to get paid, they took a risk.  Rich people, the ones that lend money, expect to double their money from you in 3 years. That is, 33% x 3, almost 100% profit after 3 years.  Outrageous isn't it.  So why not move that number further down?  Because people default, or never pay back THEIR loans, and to make up for those people, THIS is the number.


I have not seen something as BIG GOVERNMENT as I did when I saw my student loans become "non-expungable". And this was under Reagan, a Republican.  He was a person from the LESS GOVERNMENT party.  I had this loan that was going to be discharged in bankruptcy and then suddenly it was NOT dischargeable.  I was a slave to that debt until WHENEVER.  So I stopped taking loans.  You will find my credit bureau BLANK now.  Because if I can't use it in good will, I won't use it.  And that is part of my story today is to tell you about Azura and the Box.  


It makes no difference, I hope you see now, which party you are for.  I am old now and that happened when I was 20 so it's clear to me that LESS GOVERNMENT or the Republican Party quaffs down de-regulation policy like the morning pill but if it becomes time to drill oil wells despite citizen concern for fracking, bankroll the banks because teenagers don't have a clue about loans or don't care, or even create a homeland security force on the basis of innuendo because it makes people with the money more likely to keep it longer, THEN BIG GOVT is O.K.  Then you ask your Senator about regulation and he says "What Bill?"


Similarly, the DEMOCRATS have no problem cutting unemployment, cutting food stamps, INCREASING tax subsidies for farmers a la the Farm Bill, do they?  They are as much a hypocrite as the Republicans sometimes.  Still, they are better in spirit, some of them, and thankfully when I hear Republicans like SECupp and Ann Coulter(Ann) talk, I realize that probably the media is making them(Republicans in general) sound stupid on purpose, probably to distract us from all the MONOPOLIES being created. So I try to tone down my dislike for Republicans despite what they do in Congress.  


Ok, so today I want to talk about Azura and the Box.   This morning I was petting the kitty.  Such a SWEET kitty. I have always been allergic to cat hair.  If I pet the cat and get it my eyes, my eyes flare up much like Bob Costas' eyes did.  But for some reason, it hasn't happened to me with this cat.  So I am petting it and petting it, suddenly it gets lazy and lays down, so I continue to pet it and for some reason it is REALLY enjoying me petting it.  He begins to quiver and I wonder WHAT could be so enjoyable?  Suddenly he pops his leg open.  


That reminds me of something.  


But never-mind that, I continue to pet him since I always do this in the morning and it's really a BUNCH of hair I pull off of him and he is purring his butt off... and then suddenly he BITES me. Oh it's just a light bite, like an excitable thing that happened really quick.  He didn't mean for it to be like that, so I rethink my notion to PUNT his butt and go wash my hands just in case I get an allergy later from touching my eyes.  Again I always wash after petting the cat.  


So this has nothing to do with Azura, I grant you.


In the game Morrowind, and indeed even in Skyrim, there were books you could pick up with VERY interesting short stories.  It was hell to start to read one because everything you were doing came to sudden stop while you finished reading the danged book, which usually took 10 minutes or so.  But if you managed that well, you could carry those books around and when it was time to eat, THEN... story time.


In the story, a well known elf priest promises to his good friend Gimli(not really his name in the story) that he will summon the dark princess Azura because of his loyalty to him and because Gimli is an old sage with not many days left to experience great things, so they both agree this is a good idea. But Gimli concocts a plan to trap the goddess, and doesn't tell his elf friend about it.  


So as the ritual proceeds, the elf summons Azura and pays tribute to her and introduces his friend into the hallowed hall of the princess.  Gimli, a dwarf, walks in with a FULL contingent of dwarves.  Azura believes this to be another part of the tribute and as they approach Gimli begins to speak.  

"Great Azura, we are here to bow to evidence of your power and knowledge, so to demonstrate that I have brought this box.  Can you tell me what is in it?"

At this blasphemy, Azura TURNS to her priest and gives him a look that makes his knees quake as though a freight train were running next to him.  She has been fooled, you see, now she will have to explain her magic in front of all the dwarven people or she will be proven a fraud and since the dwarves know none of THEM let out the secret of what is in the box, they all expect she will be proven a fraud.  


"Surely you could have provided a test more worthy to test my power..." she says, "there is a red-petaled rose in the box."   


The dwarf-sage Gimli, raises the box and opens it and reveals to all his people that the goddess was wrong, that the box was empty.  Everyone turns to the goddess and she is gone.  


Not a couple of years ago, my car was impounded but the odd thing was that the license plate was removed by the police, so when I went to pick up the car, I could not drive it back to the house.  


An odd question came up some months later during a DMV interview that asked if I had ever driven the car without a license.   I could not see the relevance of that question.  Why did they need to know if I had driven the car if I had no license?  Was this a trap?  


Earlier, I told you that I stopped using credit.  Yes, this is because I didn't expect people to charge me ridiculous amounts of money just because I could pay later.  The student loans were one reason,  but some years later, after being unable to claim bankruptcy to discharge my loans, I was involved in an accident which totaled my car at the time.  But that car had a car payment and insurance, and the bills racked up quickly, so I had the car towed to a repair shop and they said that it would take some time to find out how much it cost.  After a couple of weeks a guy there said it would be 8000.  I was like WHAT, so I asked him to give me the car back but that I could not afford that, at which point he said it would be $500 for having stored the car there, something he did not reveal before. I was screwed. He had already asked me if I wanted to sell the car and it was obvious to me that THIS was his way of asking harder.  


So I paid the guy the $500, even though I could not get to work and was behind in car payments and insurance and really was owing a lot of money to people.  The world changed for me that day.  Something in the world was just slightly off...  not the least of which was my great credit rating gone south.  


The sage-dwarf walked off with a satisfied look on his face, the story goes, because finally he had bested a God.  And as his aging decrepit body dozed off to his final sleep, a rose petal fell from his sleeve onto the floor.  


You see, there WAS a rose... then there wasn't.  


The elf wrote a book later making an account of this story as a possible explanation for ALL DWARVES vanishing from existence.

ps. It's not nice to fool mother nature, ya?  

Michael is Dunn

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Well today I have to talk about what I think happened in the Michael Dunn case. What I know about the case will come first. What I thought happened is what will come next and lastly what I believe happened after talking to my parents about it will come last.

At no time will I wonder what it is like to BE the black man in a car with loud music, at a gas station, mouthing off to a man twice my age.

Because that would be pretending to be stupid. And that's hard.

I first heard that a man had shot a teenager for playing his music too loud. I was on the side of the teenager at that point. Who shoots someone for playing music, it's ridiculous. But that's the media for you always saving the best for last.

Vanessa Williams, sang that song that I often sang in karaoke... "you went and saved the best... for last."

Yesterday, I heard him give his statement about thinking the kid had a gun and I thought wow, how convenient, now that he "thinks" the kid had a gun he can go on his rampage at the gas station. Then I see his fiancee giving a testimony, looking haggard and awful guilty if I may say so, and I wonder what hole these two monsters came out of and how much were they paid to assassinate this young man.

Today, we hear the lawyer giving his comments. The jury is out. My father gives his comments and my mother sits down to talk about it a bit. My father is on the side of Michael Dunn so I organize my thoughts a bit and wonder about being Dunn for a moment. Then I see the other young black man give testimony and I can instantly tell he is a thug. He has the telling hands a someone that's never written a book report in his life. Instead of being well-dressed, he wore a ball cap to court. Life for him is just one chocolate factory after the next. Rally. Same ole same ole, people need using.

I was on my dad's side at this point. So I talk some more and tell him that if people think they are being hunted by a gang, anything can happen. I tell him that in Jacksonville, out of those bunches of people in front of the courthouse, that probably half of them are "organized" in some way.

Now it's time to chime in with my Santora expletive, as I call it. Because I LOVE that black people got Judge Santora to step down because now... I get to talk about how STUPID a mob is! Judge Santora was someone that said that a great many blacks go through his courtroom, more than other races. This was supposed to be OFF the record but the reporter stuck it in there anyway. Well, fast forward to we have a racist judge and now a mob of people gather together to get rid of the "racist" judge.

It's not racism, if it's TRUE.

I used to say the same thing about New Yorkers. I have taken a huge amount of phone calls in my life and while I was at Citibank, a great many people rose to great power while I comforted myself to stay at the bottom answering phones. And why not?  It paid well and I didn't have the stress of management and I knew everything. Safety, yeah? Well, fast forward to I open my mouth about New Yorkers in general and that is probably why some of those people that worked with me, from NEW YORK, had no problem harassing me while I'm on the phone.  

I DESPISE New Yorkers!

In all of my years of taking calls, I have almost never talked to a New Yorker that didn't treat me like some slave on the phone. They expect late fees removed, interest rates lowered, they want a callback when I am finished and they want me to put the notes on the account after they have hung up or while I am talking to the NEXT customer. Always when I start talking to someone unreasonable, I look up at their information that pops up and BOOM, address: blah blah, NY. I am still sensitive to the towers going down there, but in the back of my mind, it's kind of like Gomorrah fell. And for some reason, the people were much nicer after. Harsh yeah? How can I say these things? Well talking to 100 different people a day is how. Experience.

It's not racism, or an insult, if it's TRUE.

Now in all fairness, Rachel is from there and Alex and MSNBC is there and all those people I don't even understand how they get by without being eaten, but in fairness, the people I talked to were calling their credit card so MAYBE the poor people are nice and then some other few that DON'T call their credit cards for advice. 

But if I hear you're from New York, that little thing is gonna click in my head like you just said Mexico or illegal alien. These people are just meaner to others and I have to be ready for them so my feelings don't get slammed like they have before by being nice and then OMG WHAT A MOUTH.

So sidetracked, I was talking about mobs in front of the courthouse. Yeah so this is what is happening now is a bunch of black people trying to make this about color. But I am not on the little guys side at all this time. Soon after explaining to my father how people can feel threatened by groups of people, I hear that the teen was mouthing off to the guy in testimony, talking about "this is your last night on earth" or some such. This changed my mind. Because nothing provokes violence like one man saying to another "you ain't man enough". That's why men hardly ever say shit.  In fact for a man, I talk a GREAT DEAL, but real men don't talk.  And I know from experience that people getting driven around, without having to pay for gas have a much easier time risking ALL OUR LIVES than the person paying the  car payment and insurance.

Even in Business Card, the owners would call up and ask the balance and say thank you and I wondered how I got SO LUCKY to get such nice customers with such manners and such noblesse oblige. But let one of their authorized users call in and it was a totally different story. It was New Yorker time. "We don't remember making these charges" and "I sent that payment 3 weeks ago and you still havent cashed it... TAKE OFF THAT LATE FEE." Eventually we took away authorized users rights and made the owner have to call for everything.  

Why, because we could.

The same goes for that lady across the street. So "witchy" to beep her alarm before 9am even though it's illegal. She would sometimes leave for work at 5am and WAKE me up with it. I know the house isn't hers and she just rents a room because I have seen the owners and frankly I never noticed them until she moved in. Now when I want to read a newspaper the opposite porch light goes on to annoy me. If I walk outside, one of their lights goes on, one night I was driving away and she came to the door as if to say I saw you getting ready to leave. It's very spooky. But she is not an owner. See people like that deserve what they get. They are "just passing thru" doing damage not realizing they are risking more than what they own.

My mother starts to chime in on what she knows from the news, that they were coming from a wedding, maybe his son's, and that they stopped to get some wine before going back to a hotel because they lived out of town. Then I see the video and sound from the gas station... and I hear the shots and THERE'S the fiancee, not some HAG who was 2 seconds from another fix, but a well-dressed lady who probably said some things to her man she shouldn't have in hindsight but who totally changed my mind on the crime.

This was no assassin out to kill some black kid on his list, this was not pre-meditated or part of a bounty. The little kid thought he would shoot his mouth off to a man twice his age whose woman was still inside the store(so he couldn't leave), and he thought he had the right to shake that man's resolve by blasting his music in his face so as to make him figure out who had the most power.  

Rule #1 Watch your mouth.

ps. I still think the man deserves prison but he WAS giving what he got,imo, and that little man... he got what he got.

Riddle of the Sphinx

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

So the riddle of the Sphinx was solved yeah?  Well it wasn't solved well enough in my view.  Let me tell you a little bit about monsters and legends so that you KIDS understand what a monster is and how it relates to real life.  

A family is a group of people that work well together and do all things legal.  They trust each other and, if one goes missing, all the rest of the members stop what they're doing and go look for him.  Churches can be said to have families IF they have no secrets. 

If this hypothetical family break laws but keep secrets safe and if they work well together, and are good for society, if they are AN EFFECTIVE TEAM, they are considered a Unicorn.  There's magic there but it's unintelligible yet totally beneficial... and noone has died yet. 

See, and you thought watching LEGEND was a waste of time. 

If they are not good for society then that "family" is a monster.  And depending how many "members" are in the family, the monster could be HUGE.   Once it is revealed that this monster is abusing the public trust, it has to be identified and then if enough people are afraid of it... destroyed.  

One thing you can always say about a monster is that ONE MAN killing it has no chance.   Almost every time you hear about a monster, it is a thing the size of many men.  What a coincidence, yeah?  

So with Oedipus, like in the Bible, you have to figure out what the stories mean.  You read about one tale of a man who meets a huge monster (as I looked it up) at the entrance to Thebes and if he can solve it's riddle, he can pass.  

SPOILER ALERT: Im about to give you the solution to the Riddle of the Sphinx but it's much more fun if you figure it out for yourself so go read the story and stop for a moment and try to figure it out.  

Now the town wanted the monster dead and only Oedipus was able to solve the riddle and others who could not solve it were eaten.  To identify the monster you must understand how it works and to understand how it works, meaning what men are members of the group, you have to solve her riddle the right way.

The Sphinx is a monster with the head and breast of a woman, the claws and body of a lion, with the wings of a dragon. 

So the first test is to know what the monster is.  It has the parts of women, the strength and lethality of men, and the ability to fly above the law unscathed like a dragon.  

"What animal with one voice, has 4 legs, then 2 legs, then 3" 

That is the riddle but to solve it, you have to solve it correctly.  What solution will cause the monster to give up and die?  How did one man Oedipus know and explain this answer to the Sphinx.  The answer to the riddle is MAN.  We know this but why was the Sphinx overcome by this man and no other? 

Because, the MAN he talks about is one that as an infant controls himself with 4 legs, then as a child controls himself with 2 legs, and as an adult controls himself with 3 legs.  

See, this means he was unlike other men in that he could control his THREE legs, get it?  And, so exposed, impervious to the wiles of the female parts that controlled the third leg of all those men,  the "monster" of men agreed to disband or leave as monsters or gypsies often do... after their secret is out.  

Silly girl

BLM:90 WHM:90 SMN:90 THF:90 WAR:90 DRK:90 RNG:90 PLD:90

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was to lose weight.  I can tell when I am eating more than normal because I pay attention to it and it takes some effort somewhat... to stuff myself.  

Losing weight, however, is totally different.  You have to jog and stretch and work on your posture and you might even start to drink Apple Juice like I do.  It has the amazing ability of taking away hunger as long as you are busy.  Try this at work and if you have a glass of apple juice to sip on, you won't get hungry all day long and the pounds will come off after about a week of this.  It's stressful though but it works like magic as long as you understand how it's working and that it's not really magic because it sucks to drink just apple juice.

I am focused on SECupp today.  She wrote an article about the struggles of losing weight.  Obviously, some people are predispositioned to having good metabolism and others... not so much.  But if there is one thing I learned from my years of being a lousy singer at karaoke is this... improvement happens eventually.  

My sister has huge boobs and that makes her predisposed to being fatter than say women with smaller boobs.  I would always wonder how she stayed so fit being only like 5'5" or so. But when she wants to be good looking, she gets there.  And not just a little I mean I look at some of the old pictures of when she was 30 something and I wonder if that was really her all those years at my side at the bar.  

It was.   

But I realize also that not being a man is doubly tough for a girl since they can't sweat off the pounds like a man can.  I can be in shape in less than a couple of weeks I think but currently figuring out "why do it" is my main concern since I have COPD or something and a stomach problem that I don't trust doctors to fix without screwing it up like they did the last time.

One day I will tell you my big secret... well one of them.

So losing weight for me means exerting more energy and doing that makes all of those physical problems speak at me more.  So since I have had so much experience going up and down in weight, it has to be clear why I am doing it, and right now it isn't.

In Black Swan, I don't know if I told you this but that movie is about me, Natalie Portman does about as good a job as someone can do.  I have watched the movie more than 10 times and can probably recite the lines.  To be a ballet star, (like one guy said recently on TV "all artists are vain") you depend on the attention of others.  Like the star, I would do a good job working and then go out to karaoke bars and bask in the attention or lack thereof of the audience.   Some songs I did well, others not so much.

DREAM ON... AAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaaAAAAaaaAAAAAhh!

I often messed that one up by Aerosmith but sometimes I got it right though it was rare.  But like ballet it was all in the practice and the knowledge.  I knew wonton soup helped.  I knew practicing in the car helped.  I knew that knowing the words helped despite being an incredible sloth when it comes to memorizing the words.  But eventually I became great at it and then others approved... and then they approved a whole lot.

But in the movie she was great because her mother was so strict with her yeah, and then when she realized she could have not only her mother's approval, but mass appeal, that was like an upgrade right?  RIGHT?  (no.)  But it felt that way because of the obvious respect she was commanding so she started to upgrade her MOTHER for the teacher who KNEW SO MUCH.  But the reality is he was a puppetmaster much like drug dealers are with their squibs, the approval is just food for what you need which is unrealistic and imaginary next to what your mother is providing which is REAL approval.

Remember that dark people work in groups, so that mass appeal you may be generating may be "artificial" and magical.  
Yet, you feel stronger despite that warning in your head.  The world is ordered, it is not false, the world needs attraction and effort, MY EFFORT, so much of it that I am giving surely is enough to really MATTER to the world as I give my all and receive some small kudos in return.  

Surely the world OWES me, after all that I have given to it.

Slowly, your image in the mirror changes.  As you become more insistent, more independant, and more self-determined, you believe that all of these people talking to me must be willing to do what I say.  

Mila Kunis was a great choice for the dark role she played as the purveyor of good times possibly as a handler which is used MORE often than you might think in a performer's circle.  It was her job to drug her, talk to her, incite her, and control her if at all possible which is impossible at first but gets easier as time goes on because ALL PEOPLE begin to allow people they know to do what they want which usually involves weakening themselves to a "handler's poison" which can be turned on or off as the situation requires for some higher up.  And this is what she feared in the movie, that her boss was secretly hooking up with her "friend" but what was really happening is a simple "handler's" spell that gave the boss what he needed to know since his WHOLE SHOW depended on the one girl.

I have said this before, secrets are the source of ALL VIOLENCE in the world.  As the movie progresses, she loses her grip and starts to wonder not if Mila wants to drug her to make her feel better, to make her prefer her to other people (which is her job as a handler), but she wonders if this PURPOSE is to take over her part in the show which is the nature of darkness and secrets.  The old switcheroo that happens as we take what we don't know and instantly subsitute it for the worst possible scenario in our heads which now has to be defended against.

Is it any wonder the NSA is so terrifying to people?  What if drones accidentally fire a missile up my dog's ass?  What is they saw me steal that parking spot and then come after my job?  Yeah the example's of possible blackmail abound.

So as she starts to unravel, you see her good side struggle, trying to heal herself while her dark side makes definite choices about completing her purpose and being true to her fantasy of being the best. and because she is drugged she loses her grip.  Drugs are the only way we can disconnect from sanity and once you taste it, you may like it.  That's why people say it's better not to try drugs and stuff because it's a loss of innocence.  It can't be replaced once it's lost.  Same thing goes with being a good person, you can't be bad if you don't stray from the path(follow the yellow brick road), but once you do, switcheroo is possible.  Many people can see you are off the path and replacing your need with their need becomes possible.

That's why children should not see any evil.  They are immune to dark thoughts if you shield them from it, thereby allowing them a MUCH better chance at being trusted as an adult.  Only trustworthy people succeed in the world.  You should want this for your child and therefore, you should want your child exposed to as little chaos as possible.

When you see people calling other people spring chicken or even name-calling in general, you should say to yourself, "there goes a man that will NEVER be king".  Only by being as naive as possible, can you inspire the HIGHEST level of trust.  And if you try to fool people, hahahaha, well...

"it's not nice to fool mother nature. " This means, I'M gonna know! 

So the movie ends with her trying to make the show perfect, by trying to put out the flames while everyone was running, by sacrificing herself for the sake of her admirers... even though they were "jus playin'" and the boss and the dancers didn't really NEED the show to be all that good.  

Silly little girl.  

ps.  Completely unrelated message is that if Jesus were here... there would be no money.